The Universe No One Understands
by geea2
Summary: Begins during '04-05 school year, in a world where Nathan Scott and Brooke Davis are the quintessential IT couple. Read about how they deal with the drama that can only be found in Tree Hill. BRATHAN LALEY JEYTON
1. Perfection

Tree Hill, NC October 2004

"You're late," her voice was raspy as she whispered into his ear.

His strong hands wrapped around her small waist as he bent to kiss her soft, warm lips. There was something absolutely addictive about kissing his girlfriend.

"I know," he whispered back after a moment.

"Well," she took a few small steps out in front of him but turned with a smile to hold out her hand, "as long as you're aware. Come on, we're going to be late for History."

"Do you know," he asked as they walked, "that you are the most beautiful girl that I have ever laid eyes on?"

As the doors of the school opened everyone in the hallway stopped to watch the captain of the basketball team and the captain of the cheerleading squad walk hand in hand, completely engrossed with one another. They were the king and queen of Tree Hill High, both in the top five richest kids in the school and both completely gorgeous. They were a walking cliché; Nathan Scott and Brooke Davis.

222

There was something to be said for a sport that a man could lose himself in. Basketball wasn't just a sport he happened to be good at. Basketball was life, it was air, it was everything that mattered. In some way, shape or form, basketball defined everything that Nathan Scott considered himself to be. It had been what he and his father had first bonded over. It would eventually get him into college. It was why he was the most popular kid in school and he was only halfway through his sophomore year. It was the reason he and Brooke had finally started dating.

He and Brooke had been friends since pre-k. Their parents were in the top five richest in the whole town of Tree Hill. They were in the same circles but unlike their other rich friends they attended the public school and effectively ruled it. Halfway through eighth grade they had begun to date. They had been destined for greatness in high school and both of them had known it. But it was more than that, Brooke had a spark in her that attracted Nathan. She played her games, wore the mask that everyone in high school tended to, but when they were together she showed him who she really was and he was blinded by the beauty of her soul.

"You gonna pay attention man," Jake Jagielski asked as he threw a basketball to him.

Nathan nodded but his gaze drifted over to the other end of the gym where Brooke was warming up with the other cheerleaders. Just the sight of her in tight spandex leggings and a tight tang top was enough to turn his body into an inferno.

"Dude, are you gonna practice or watch that foxy brunette all day?"

Nathan playfully threw the ball back to Jake, "watch you're mouth, that's my girlfriend."

Jake laughed as he and Nathan jogged toward the rest of the team.

222

"…so if you think you can't make it, and you'd better have a damned good reason for missing it, then call me. Everyone knows my cell. Dismissed ladies, good job today!"

As the girls began to disperse Brooke took a measure of pride in the fact that they were going to the South Eastern Cheer Competition in little over a month and could, no would, win. It didn't hurt that Nathan and the basketball team would be there for a basketball game since it was in Charlotte that year.

Suddenly two arms wrapped around her waist and she was lifted back onto a hard chest, "Nathan! Eww, you're sweating and gross!"

His deep laugh vibrated through her body. She sighed, how she loved this man. He turned her and before she could speak again his lips met hers in a fervor. He tasted salty and little like Gatorade but mostly like the man of her dreams.

"Tell me you're coming over," he whispered.

"Wouldn't miss it," she whispered back. His hand brushed her cheek and moved up to pull through her thick dark brown hair. She had cut her hair recently and now she had bangs, or "fringe" which she was always correcting him with, but thankfully kept her hair to her breasts. He loved her long hair. To be honest he loved everything about her. Everyone thought he was an arrogant asshole and he didn't really care. All that had ever mattered was that she saw him, the real him.

"I love you, Nate," her words clenched his heart as they always did.

"Let me get changed, I'll meet you at my house," he told her.

As he walked away he just grinned when he felt her thin fingers pinch his ass.

222

Nathan and Brooke had been friends long before they had ever hooked up. Brooke had actually spent a lot of time with his family because her parents were the definition of absentee parents. Luckily for both of them his parents, Dan and Deb Scott, loved her and always let her come around. Of course Dan was an asshole. He had pushed Nathan to be the best in basketball all of his life and sometimes it felt like he pushed too much. Deb toned him down but every other weekend she traveled to Virginia where the other part of her company was located. Despite everything though Nathan did love his parents and wanted their acceptance.

He walked into his house and dropped his duffle bag next to the door, "mom, dad!"

He had seen a beat up Chevy in the garage and was curious as to why it was there. Suddenly Deb came through the swing door from the kitchen, she looked very worried, "Nathan, I'm glad you're home."

"Mom, what's wrong," he gently held her arm, "are you okay?"  
Deb's blue gaze softened as she gazed at her son, "yeah, baby, it's just that you're father and I have to talk to you."

Nathan followed her into the kitchen with a worried expression on his face, "I don't know what the Deputy told you but I swear I was fully dressed the entire time."

"Nathan," Dan's voice broke in.

"Hold on," Nathan continued, trying to get his mother on his side before he had to face his father, "okay, I may have taken off my shorts but it was only for a second and I had my boxers on."

"Nathan," Deb took a deep breath and Nathan finally realized that sitting at the table with his father was a blond boy. He looked to be about his age and had a decent build, he almost looked like an athlete but he looked a bit too broody.

"Who are you," Nathan asked.

"Lucas," the boy told him.

Nathan had learned good manners and nicely offered his hand. As they shook his father's words shook him to his core, "your brother."

222

Brooke walked into her empty house and gently closed the door behind her. Every teenager wanted a little more independence but Brooke had it in spades and would much rather get to see her parents every once and again. They were rich though and tried to compensated for their lack of attention and affection by paying off her credit cards and depositing huge sums of money into her checking account. All in all she should have counted herself as lucky. She had a beautiful light green VW Buggy, a huge house to herself, a pool, and all the money she could possibly ever use. Not to mention her great looks, she subconsciously twirled piece of her hair around her finger. But sometimes all she really wanted was for her parents to come home and hold her and tell that she hadn't been a mistake that had been cramping their style for sixteen years.

She sighed and began to pack an over night bag. She had a lot of her stuff at Nathan's house but she always brought over extras in case she needed anything. She prided herself on being prepared for any fashion emergency. That was her thing. She was the queen bee, one of the prettiest, richest, and most talented girls. Brooke looked herself over in her vanity mirror, she had a reputation to protect.

The house phone rang and she jumped. No one ever called her house phone! She crept over to the phone and lifted it, "hello?"

"Hello, darling, what are you up to?"

Lydia Davis' voice filled Brooke's ear and she could tell that her mother was very drunk, wherever she was, "mother, where are you?"

"Your father and I are in Paris again, darling. I swore that we called and told you that earlier this week."

"Mom, it's Monday, I haven't heard from you since two Wednesdays ago," Brooke informed her.

"Oh, dear, did we forget to pay your credit card," Lydia asked.

Brooke sighed, "no, mother, you didn't. Thanks though. What are you two doing in Paris?"

"Just a bit of this and that," Lydia replied, "oh, here's your father!"

There was bit of shuffling and Brooke waited, "hello? Brooklyn?"

"Hello, Daddy!"

"My precious, we've missed you!"

Brooke's voice broke, "I've missed you too, Daddy!"

There was a shuffling and suddenly Lydia was laughing hysterically. Bill Davis sighed, "I must see to your mother, Brooklyn."

"I know," he always did.

"Brook-" he was cut off.

"Okay, Daddy," as she heard the dial tone she hung up the phone and whispered, "I love you."

222

"So you mean to tell me," Nathan took a long breath as he finally sat at the table with his parents and Lucas, "that you got your high school sweetheart pregnant, left her, got mom pregnant and married her. You never bothered to mention the fact that you've fathered another child, because?"  
Dan clenched his hands, "Karen didn't want me to have anything to do with Lucas after I left her. I offered to take him."

"Why are you here now," Nathan finally asked.

Lucas looked around the table. Deb was smiling encouragingly, Dan was static, but Nathan was reeking of every emotion, "my mother is opening a café in town. We're moving here. I didn't want to be a shock to you."

Nathan knew immediately that he meant at school. And what the hell would that do to his reputation? He rubbed a hand down his face. Life wasn't supposed to be this fucking hard!

"Nate," Brooke's trembling voice had him looking up to the kitchen door.

He heard Lucas' swift intake of breath but all he saw was her beautiful face wet with her tears, her eyes pink. Immediately he rose and drew her into his arms. He whispered into her ear, "what happened?"

"My parents," she sniffled back into his chest.

He nodded, knowing that they had let her down again, as they always managed to do. He looked back to the table where Deb motioned for him to take Brooke up stairs, Dan was looking worriedly toward the petite brunette and Lucas was blushing furiously, his gaze on his hands.

"Come on, Davis, let's get you up stairs," Nathan whispered.

222

"What do you mean," Brooke had heard Nathan's bizarre closet brother story twice now but she still couldn't believe it. They were lying on his spacious queen sized bed and it was rather late. She had passed out after her crying episode. Now it was almost midnight and Nathan was holding her close, under the crook of his arm, his chin resting on her head.

He laughed, surprised he was able to, "so now he's going to stay with us while his mother gets everything settled. Basically it'll be the worst two weeks of my life."

"Why, is he nasty," Brooke asked.

"Brooke, he's coming to our school. Everyone will know Dan had another kid, not to mention he's into reading everything which means he's a geek and he asked if he could try out for the basketball team, like I'd let that happen."

"Why not?"

"I really want this title, Brooke. Just because he thinks he's decent at basketball doesn't mean he is. I can't risk letting some new kid on the team. Nothing else matters except getting this title," he replied.

When she froze in his arms he swore at himself. She relaxed her muscles but Nathan knew that she was too used to pain and that's why she was so good at pretending that she wasn't hurting, "you know I didn't mean that the way it sounded."  
"I know," she rose.

"Where are you going," he propped himself up on an elbow.

"Too get a snack," she replied.

222

Lucas stopped in mid stride as he caught sight of a very tight ass peaking out from the refrigerator he had been about to raid. When he was in a new place he had trouble sleeping. He had read all of his new book and was still wide awake. He thought that maybe some milk and some of the vanilla cake he had seen earlier would sate him but as he felt himself grow hard he knew he was wrong.

"Oh," she had turned and was looking at him with big hazel eyes, "you must be the closet brother Nathan's been telling me about."

She walked to him, confident as could be in her tang top and short girl boxers, and shook his hand, "I'm Brooke Davis, the captain of the Varsity Cheerleading Squad."

"And," the deep voice prompted behind Lucas, making him jump. He glanced at Nathan who simply lifted a brow before wrapping an arm around Brooke's waist.

"And," she rolled her eyes, "the very disillusioned and sad girlfriend of the captain of the Varsity Basketball team."

Lucas' thoughts swirled, his brother was the captain of the very team he wanted to join. He nodded and watched as Nathan brought his head down and kissed her lips. The very lips that Lucas knew he'd been writing about in his journal.

"I say stupid things sometimes," Nate murmured.

"I know," she agreed.

"But nothing else will ever matter the way you do, Davis," he told her.

She smiled and then winked at Lucas before pulling Nathan toward the door, "we're going to call it a night. Good night closet brother of Nathan."

Lucas stood there for a long time before finally murmuring, "my name's Lucas."


	2. Author's Note

Hello, all, thanks for all of the great reviews! This next chapter will have a small potion of mature content. I believe in writing about every aspect of a relationship which includes the sexual portion. The scene will be brief but somewhat graphic. It will be in the first part, so if you're not into graphic scenes skip down to the next scene. Please continue with the reviews, good or bad!

-A.E.


	3. The Norm

**MATURE CONTENT**

She woke up to a very fuzzy dream of pleasure. Hands were caressing her breasts, gently squeezing and rolling her nipples. Very slowly she was pulled back to a hard chest and very gently she felt her folds being nudged opened before his thick cock slid all the way into her. She sighed in pleasure, electricity sliding up and down her body.

"You're so fucking tight, baby," he whispered in her ear.

Brooke was still struggling to fully wake but at the same time her pleasure was building to extraordinary heights.

She began to tell him to move faster but he all ready was, he was that in tune with her. Finally her daze began to slip a bit and she had possession of her movements. She squeezed him with her muscles and heard his deep groan.

"Nathan," she breathed his name in and out. Faster and faster, tighter and tighter until she could barely deal with any movement.

"Come with me, baby," his whispered words accompanied by his index finger rubbing her clit sent her over the edge. She took him with her squeezing him until she milked him dry. Together they laid with each other, breathing heavily in one another's arms.

222

Nathan spent a good portion of the day reliving the awesome sex he and Brooke had that morning. The woman drove him insane. Everything about her entranced him, her breasts, her hips, her dimples, her hair, her spirit and God help him, her extraordinary sexual prowess.

"Yo, Scott," Jake sat beside him at the lunch table and dropped his bag, "how you handling the closet brother thing?"

"You know that you and Brooke could be twins, you both come up with the same sayings," Nathan told his best friend.

Jake grinned, along with Nathan and Brooke growing up had been Jake when he'd moved to Tree Hill at age seven. If ever there was a man Nathan trusted Brooke to be around alone it was Jake.

"I don't know, he's seemed kind of lost today," Nathan replied.

As lunch continued the rest of the basketball players joined the largest table in the quad along with their girlfriends, all of which were cheerleaders. Brooke finally came over, her best girlfriend, Peyton by her side. She bent low, giving Nathan a good peak of her breasts in her low cut shirt, "hey, Nate, miss me?"

He pulled her until she was on his lap, he placed a kiss on her lips, "every second."

Peyton sat beside Jake and laid a big kiss on his lips, "hey, buddy."

"I missed you last night," Jake whispered into her ear.

She grinned, "I'm sorry I was with my other boyfriend."

Peyton tossed an arm around Nathan and winked at Jake. Nathan laughed and placed an arm around her waist, "yeah, the sex was fantastic!"

Jake laughed but pulled his girlfriend back to his side. Nathan and Peyton together was the equivalent of Jake and Brooke…disgusting! He looked over to a smaller table and spotted Lucas reading alone, his lunch untouched.

"We should invite him over," Jake told Nathan.

Nathan shook his head, "I don't want him to think for one second that he'll get on this team."

"He looks so lonely," Peyton mentioned.

He rolled his eyes, there were two women in his life. One was the love of his life and the other was Peyton, the girl who had joined their threesome at age nine. She had lost her mother a year later and ever since then she had been the one they all protected. She was a very gifted girl: an artist with an ear for good music and a cheerleader. Not to mention she was gorgeous with her curly blond hair and big blue eyes. But it was the sorrow that sometimes echoed in her pretty eyes that pulled on Nathan's heart strings.

"Nate," Brooke added her famous pout and he was lost.

"Fine," he waited until Brooke had risen before he walked over. He sat across from his brother and thought of how odd it was to have a big brother, "hey, Lucas."

Lucas looked up. He had noticed that Brooke and Nathan were sitting with a group of people he assumed to be the click of the school, especially since all of the guys were wearing sweat suits with Tree Hill Ravens etched on the back and all the girls were wearing smaller suits with tight white tee-shirts beneath that had Ravens on them.

"Hey, Nathan, how's the classes?"  
Nate smirked, it occurred to him that he was making small talk with his older brother, "look, you're new here and it's never easy to start fresh especially in high school. We have thirty minutes left of lunch and a free space at my table. I'm not saying you can sit there everyday because everyone who sits there earns it, but if we're going to tell people we're related then you have to at least try and start on the right foot and act cool."

Lucas arched an eyebrow, "fair enough."

They walked back to the table together. Brooke smiled up at him, "hey, Lucas, I'd like to introduce you to my best friend Peyton and her boyfriend Jake."

"Hey, man, nice to meet you," Jake smacked hands with him and gripped it at the end, it was firm, he was surprised the book worm had such a strong shake.

"Same, nice to meet you too," he paused, "Peyton?"

"Yeah, it's an interesting name, I know," she grinned and made room for him.

Lucas spent the rest of the lunch talking about his old town in South Carolina and thought that Tree Hill couldn't be all bad if the popular crowd was willing to let an outsider in, even if it was just for one lunch.

222

Friday dawned bright and early. For some reason they had been given a day off from school and Whitey, their hard-ass coach, had given them the day off from practice although they would still have to meet early Saturday morning. Nathan had thought that he would fill his morning with the previous day's activities but was disappointed to realize he was in bed alone.

"Brooke," he called down the stairs. He was tired, Brooke had kept him up half the night while she on the phone with her friends and then had made it up to him the other part of the night. He smiled at that thought.

As he approached the kitchen he heard laughter. He knew that his parents were at the beach house for the weekend after talking to both him and Lucas. They wanted to really talk and figure out everything. Deb loved Dan with everything but she was strong. Nathan knew she would make Dan walk on egg shells for a few weeks.

"Hey," Nathan walked in and was surprised to find Brooke at the stove flipping pancakes and Lucas at the island sitting on a tall stool. He was wearing sleeping pajama bottoms but his chest was bare, and Brooke was in her usual tang top and girl boxers. The fact that she wasn't wearing a bra and she was swaying so seductively made him feel a wave of jealousy.

"Morning, baby," she tilted her head for a kiss. Afterward she smiled, "I'm making your favorite, blueberry pancakes, while Lucas tells me stories about his old school."

Lucas smiled at his brother, "she was really inquiring about my love life."

Nathan actually laughed as he gently squeezed her waist, "sounds like my girl."

"Okay," she slid the pancakes onto two different plates and sat one in front of Lucas. She handed Nathan his plate, "Happy Birthday."

Nathan's eyes widened, his own parents had forgotten but not her, not Brooke, "thanks."

"How could you think for one second that I would forget," she cupped his cheek, the love she felt for him was coursing through her veins, it was that natural.

"I love you," he whispered into her hair.

She smiled, "well, I have to get dressed."

"Why," Nathan asked.

"Yeah, why," Lucas added. Nathan realized that his brother was teasing him and actually smiled. He didn't think Lucas was bad, Nathan had good instincts and they were telling him that so he chuckled in response.

"Because," she pecked his lips, "I promised to go shopping with the girls, and then I'll be setting up your birthday surprise."

He groaned, "tell me this surprise has something to do with a trip to Victoria's Secret and a bottle of wine."

"Maybe, all you need to do is not worry. I'll pick you up at seven."

"What am I supposed to do until then," he asked digging into his pancakes.

She winked at both boys, "get acquainted."

222

"This is the Rivercourt," Nathan announced as he and his brother stepped onto the worn pavement not more than twenty feet from the River. This was his spot. Nathan had played basketball here with his friends as a child and still came here to practice free throws when he couldn't stand being near his father.

Lucas looked around, missing his old home so much he ached. He had a Rivercourt at home. A place where he could go and get lost in the game.

"Why did you bring me here," he asked.

Nathan watched him wearily as he shifted the basketball he was holding back and forth, "you want in on my team and I want to protect my rep."

"Okay," Lucas didn't get it.

"Look, Whitey may let you on the team but without my approval you won't get any good playing time, none of the guys will give you the ball. I need to make sure that you won't screw up my team. We're up for the state title this year and I want it, we all do. I also want to diminish all this gossip about my family," he paused, "our family. If you're good then they'll love you and if they love you my reputation doesn't suffer."

Lucas nodded, finally getting it, "how do I prove to you that I know my game?"

"I'm glad you asked," Nathan grabbed the ball and tossed it into the basket, his eyes never leaving Lucas as it made it in, "one game of one-on-one to twenty points. You win, you're on the team and obviously you'll have to have some skill so you'll get my approval. You lose, then you don't try out for the team and we come up with another way to keep my reputation intact."

Lucas stripped off his hoodie, "let's go!"

222

"You cheated," Nathan grumbled as they walked through the front door of his house.

Lucas laughed, "yeah, right! If I cheated then you wouldn't have told me I was on the team. You're just mad that I won…by two!"

Nathan groaned, "you are not to tell anyone about that."

"Sore loser, little brother," the term slipped out so quickly and unexpectedly that both boys were surprised by it.

"Look, we're on our way to cool, but we're not there yet."

"On our way," Lucas questioned.

Nathan grinned, "yeah, and it'll stay that way unless you tell anyone that I let you win."

"Yeah, right!"

222

Brooke was twenty minutes late, which wasn't unexpected. The woman wouldn't be on time to her own funeral. But Nathan didn't mind because he knew she'd get to him. When she wanted to do something she didn't waste time, she would go out and do it.

Before she could even open the door to his house Nathan was there, pulling her into his arms and kissing her senseless. She smiled against his lips, "anymore kisses like that and I may ditch our plans."

"Sounds good," he didn't really want anything for his birthday except his woman naked…in his bed, or the kitchen, or anywhere in his general vicinity.

"Well, baby," she pushed back from him, "go get your brother."

"You really want Lucas along for this surprise," Nathan asked.

She winked and his heart fluttered, "yep! So go get him."

222

Nathan had to wonder why the hell he was walking along the beach with his girlfriend and newfound brother in the middle of the night in October. She wouldn't say a word and for some reason he sensed that Lucas knew about whatever Brooke was planning.

"Brooke, why are we doing this," he asked.

She smiled into his eyes and point ahead. Suddenly a bonfire came into view and everyone was there. The basketball players, the cheerleaders and even his parents were there.

"How," he asked in wonder.

Brooke smiled, "happy birthday, baby."

"Mom, Dad, I thought you'd be at the beach house," Nathan told them.

Dan grinned at his son before tossing him a set of keys, "we had to stop in and wish our son a happy birthday and give him his gift."

Nathan eyes the key in shock, it was a custom key for a Mustang, "are you serious, Dad?"

"Damn right," Dan hugged his son and then walked to Lucas so Deb could hug their son. He looked at his oldest and quietly slipped him a key, "Nathan's is black, your car is blue. Happy late birthday."

"Thanks," Lucas replied in shock.

"I missed a lot, that wasn't your mother's fault, it was mine. You're going to be a son to me like Nathan. I heard you can play basketball," Lucas would have been more excited except Dan seemed to be hardening in front him. Was this what his mother had been talking about when she said basketball was all he had ever cared about? Lucas could all ready sense the formal distance Dan and Nathan had, was he about to partake in that same relationship?

Dan and Deb left soon after and Nathan was sucked into the party. Lucas looked on and was surprised when quite suddenly Brooke appeared by his side and handed him a drink, she sipped her own as she quietly began to speak, "Dan is hard on him. He pushes and pushes, it got to the point where Nathan was about to give up the game. It wasn't fun anymore, it was suffocating him. As soon as Dan knows you have talent he'll start to push you too. Don't let him take your love of the game away like he almost did to Nathan."

Lucas stared in awe at the petite brunette beside him. On the surface she seemed artificial yet she knew, he could feel that she knew, what the game meant. Most people said it was just a game, but it wasn't. It was a way of life. If you made up your life around it and lost it, he took a breath, then what the hell was the point?

"There's more to you then you show, Brooke Davis," he replied as quietly.

"Congratulations," Lucas' stared at her dimples, "you're one of the few people who know that."

"B. Davis get your ass over here and do a shot with me," Peyton called.

Brooke grinned but it quickly faded as she saw the one person she did not want to see coming their way. Lucas caught her expression and watched as the beautiful honey blond haired girl came closer, "who's she?"

"She's Haley James, A-student, cheerleader, musician, tutor and all around good girl. She looks at me like I'm less than," she couldn't continue. Very few people seemed to dislike Brooke as much as Haley James had for years. Even less people managed to get Brooke to care what they thought. There was a past there, Lucas concluded.

"Brooke," Haley acknowledged her but it was obvious that she wasn't fond of her, "hi, I'm Haley James."

"I'm Lucas Scott," Luke introduced himself.

Brooke excused herself and entangled herself in with the crowd. Lucas had a feeling that Tree Hill was a hotbed for drama, and that it would soon suck him in.

222

"Hey, get up," Nathan shook Lucas awake.

Lucas stared as his brother with accusing eyes, "what the hell are you doing? It's Saturday, dip-shit!"

Nathan laughed, "you wanted on the team, well today's your first practice."

Lucas tried to sit up but it felt like one hundred tiny monkeys were playing the drums in his head. He hadn't had a hangover like this is a long time, "forget it, I quick."

"Man, you have a lot to learn. If you don't show up at breakfast with Dan to talk over stats he'll be all over your shit," Nathan chuckled.

"I hate Brooke," Lucas told Nathan.

"Don't blame her, although if you don't watch her she'll keep refilling your cup with anything in her hand and you'll never realize it," Nathan admitted.

"Do something useful and get me an aspirin."

Nathan just laughed and tossed Lucas two small Advil tablets, "now get up! Basketball waits for no one."

Lucas stared after his brother and groaned, but he got up.


	4. When The Past Catches Up With You

The weeks passed by and even began to take on a normal pattern. Lucas' mother, Karen, moved into town and Lucas moved out. Nathan got to see him fairly often at school and for basketball. Surprisingly to everyone except Nathan, Lucas quickly became an asset for the team. He could sink three-pointers in like it was no one's business. Before anyone really knew it there was only a week left until the South Eastern Cheer Competition and the boys would be playing one of the first games in the rounds for play-offs.

Nathan didn't want to tell anyone but there was something else riding him. He was flunking Geometry and could only think of one person who could help him quickly, so he could stay on the team. The one person he knew Brooke wouldn't want him to have contact with, Haley James.

He walked into the tutor center after dropping Brooke off at the gym where she had promised to stay for gym. Haley was sitting at a table, her face buried in a book. Nathan couldn't deny that she was good looking, like Brooke there was just something about her that glowed from the inside out and needed no artificial treatment.

"Hales," he hadn't called her that name in years.

She looked up, her doe eyes fluttering in surprise, "Nathan."

For a moment they made eye contact and in that moment a million thoughts flew through both of their minds. The past still burnt brightly in both of their eyes.

"What are you doing here," she asked as she rose.

He took a step forward, "I need help with Geometry. Help that will affect my grade for the better immediately."

"How bad," she asked the question. It sounded simple enough but it was really a question that had many answers.

"I'm flunking," he replied but then waited a beat, "she'll flip out if she knows."

"I don't like hiding this from her, it didn't work out so well last time," Haley told him.

"I need you, Hales. We both know that nothing is going to happen."

She nodded because she couldn't speak without telling him that she wouldn't mind something happening.

222

Haley James had worn a few different masks in her short year and a half in high school. She was a tutor because she was good at teaching others and was really good in her classes. She was a musician because music was her outlet, when she played everything in the whole universe melted away until it was just her and the song. She was a cheerleader because for a time Haley had been a true part of the most popular group of people in Tree Hill High. She had been the fifth and final installment in the group in which Nathan and Brooke ruled, but she had effectively gotten herself kicked out. It would take years, she was certain, to forget those days. The day when it had first happened, the day Brooke had asked her, and the day the shit had hit the proverbial fan.

"You look deep in thought," the voice cut her out of her thoughts.

She looked up expecting to see one of the basketball players and wasn't surprised when her gaze collided with blue eyes, only these eyes belong to Lucas Scott, Nathan's older brother, "I'm sorry what did you say?"  
"I said you look deep in thought and I thought that was odd because Twain doesn't really require that kind of intensity," he grinned.

She smiled back, it was nice to have someone who didn't know her or the past. Not only was he in her social cliché but he read for fun like she did, "maybe he does but you never realized it."

"Touché," he clutched his heart and sat across from her. They were at the opposite end from Brooke and Nathan but the table was pretty packed.

"Are you excited about this Friday," Haley asked after a beat.

"Sort of, I mean I've played high stakes games before. Mostly I just don't want to let my team down. I'm excited though because my mom and uncle will be there."

"Nathan's uncle," Haley questioned.

"Yeah, my Uncle Keith is Dan's older brother. I think one of the reasons mom decided to move back was because Keith and Dan are trying to reconnect since their father died last year."

"Why would your mother move back for your uncle," Haley asked.

Lucas smiled, "they're kind of together. They haven't really defined it yet but he lives with us. You should come by and check out her café sometime."

"You mean like a date," she asked.

He nodded his head and grinned, "yeah, like a date."

"I'd love to," she agreed. Maybe, she thought, things were looking up.

222

Brooke felt the pressure of the coming competition weighing down on her. Sure she had two years after this to win if they didn't this year but it didn't matter. She wanted to win this year. She was a good choreographer and she had great people working with her. Peyton chose the most slamming music and Rachel Gatina, one of her good friends, was always working with her to create the most unique and up-to-date dance moves. Of course it was the girls on the team who made her dances come to life. And like it or not, Haley was one of those girls. After what had happened everyone had been surprised when Brooke had allowed Haley to stay on the team. Despite everything Brooke hadn't wanted to publicly demean her old friend or socially sabotage her. Besides, that wasn't her style when it came to pain.

Generally Brooke Davis would lash out at someone who irritated, annoyed or pissed her off. But when someone she truly trusted or loved hurt her she retreated full circle. There was some pain that was too hard to bear. She didn't want to consider how that thought reflected on her character.

"Calm down, babe," Nathan's hands were gently kneading her shoulders as they sat on the bleachers listening to whoever this person was talking about the dangers of unsafe, promiscuous sex.

"The competition is only a few days away, Nate," she murmured.

"And you've been pushing yourself and the girls for the past few weeks. I've barely seen you at all the last two weeks and when I do you're so tired that you just pass out."

"I know," she tilted her head so she could meet his gaze, "after this weekend I promise I'll be around more. But it's not like I haven't missed you the whole time. What have you been doing while I've been off creating the dance moves of the century and whipping the girls into shape?"

Nathan didn't want to lie to Brooke but he dared not say that while she had been testing her moves and music with Peyton and Rachel all night he had been with Haley. He knew the moment those words left his mouth she would do what she always did when something hurt too much. Her tidy little shell would rise and wrap around her and he would never be able to get inside of her again. The thought of not basking in the glow of her heart was enough to make him shiver with apprehension.

"Are you cold? What's wrong are you sick," Brooke's worried voice cut into his thoughts.

He cupped her cheek and kissed her lips gently before deepening it and slowly thrusting his tongue inside of her mouth. She accepted him and for a few long moments both of them forgot that there was something else happening in the world.

"Okay, I think I just puked a little in my mouth," Peyton whispered loudly.

Brooke broke their kiss but laid her head on his chest. The sound of his heartbeat was a comfort, her constant, the thing in her life that would never hurt her or disappoint her. She closed her eyes and prayed that it was true.

222

Lucas had grown used to Tree Hill in the month and a half he had been there. He was used to seeing Karen at working at her own business. She had worked as the manager of a restaurant in South Carolina but this job obviously suited her better. She loved it and he was just glad she was happy. Keith was working at a school designed for people trying to get their Associate's degree in mechanical engineering. Lucas had the sneaking suspicion that soon Keith and his mother would be making a big announcement.

One thing Lucas hadn't gotten used to was seeing Brooke. Every single time he looked at her she took his breath away. He was fairly certain that she didn't realize it, but she glowed. It was as if her soul was so huge and luminescent that it couldn't be contained in her small frame, it had to burst free. He had attended many parties with her and "their" group. He had hung out with her a few times while Nathan was in the shower and he had been staying at Dan and Deb's house. He had even gotten dragged shopping with her and Peyton because he was "so 2001!"

He wanted to kiss her. God, he wanted to taste her! Sometimes her lips would entrance him to the point where he couldn't focus on what she was saying. He just knew that she would taste like some addicting drug that once tried could never be stopped. But for all the things Brooke Davis was, there was one thing he could never forget, she was his brother's girlfriend. The brother who he was slowly, but surely, growing a relationship with, who had gotten him on the team; the brother who he hung out with when all the guys played poker; the brother who would be devastated if Brooke ever left him. Lucas took a deep breath and tried to forget her but the moment his eyes closed she was there.

222

Haley mulled over the paper for a few more seconds before she looked up with a grin on her face, "you got a B. Good job, Nate!"

Nathan smiled and puffed out his chest, "once again, I am the man!"

"Okay, egotistical much? Now," she pulled a hand through her hair and shyly looked into his eyes, "what are you going to give me in return for helping you out?"

His eyes widened in slight surprise, "what do you want?"

"Nate, we were friends once upon a time. Real friends. I want that again," she admitted.

"You know that Brooke-" she cut him off by placing a small hand over his lips, gently rubbing them.

"I want to be in your life, close to you again."

Nathan shook his head but didn't move to remove her hand from his lips, "I don't think that's a good idea."

"You don't think, or Brooke doesn't think so? Why do you let her control you," Haley asked, his rejection pounding through her heart.

"Haley," he grabbed her hand before she could get up, "Brooke doesn't control me. We're a team, we work together. I can't hurt her again."

"She never has to know," Haley whispered.

Later that night Nathan would wonder what strange turn of fate would have Brooke walk into the kitchen the moment the words came across Haley's lips.


	5. The Sun Shower Before The Thunderstorm

Brooke listened to the steady vibrating of her cell phone but wasn't even aware of it. She was sitting very quietly and very still on the edge of her bed clutching a pillow to her chest. She had thought that she had gotten over the pain. That the memory of that day didn't still haunt her. But just seeing them together, Nathan's hand around Haley's arms and her eyes bright with lust, was enough to turn her stomach over. She ran to the adjoining bathroom and threw up until there was nothing left.

222

Lucas had been cleaning the counter in his mother's café when the door swung open. He had been daydreaming about Brooke again. When he saw that it was Nathan in the doorway, looking like the world was ending, he felt his conscience take hold of him. Brooke wasn't his and never would be.

"What's up, bro, you look like someone just told you your dog died," Lucas thought that his voice sounded normal.

Nathan took a seat on one of the stools, "I fucked up, Lucas. Brooke caught me with Haley and she-"

"Wait," Lucas interrupted him, "what were you doing with Haley?"

"Studying," Nathan replied. At Lucas' raised eyebrow he growled, "I'm flunking Geometry and Haley's the best tutor in the school. Brooke caught us together and now she won't pick up her phone."

"Go to her house," Lucas advised.

"I can't, she would have locked the door and she has the loudest security system in the world," Nathan replied.

"What do you need me to do," Lucas asked.

"Over the past few weeks she's incorporated you into our group. She won't pick up the phone for anyone but maybe she will for you," Nathan explained.

"If she hasn't picked up for you or Peyton or Jake then why would she pick up for me," Lucas wondered.

"Because for some reason she's let you in with the rest of us. Like it or not she's all ready accepted you as someone she can really trust, you're the last option."

"One question," Lucas paused, "why did she flip about catching you with Haley if it was innocent?"

Nathan growled again, "because I'm a fucking idiot!"

222

Brooke wasn't one to give into multiple crying episodes or depression, but sometimes when the pain became to much you just had to let it out. When Brooke Davis let it out it wasn't just for the one thing that had tipped her over the edge, it was for everything else that had happened in between.

Suddenly her phone vibrated, she paused to look at the caller ID expecting to see one of the three that had been calling her nonstop for hours but was surprised to see Lucas' name.

She flipped it open. She was shocked by her over raspy voice, "hello?"

"Hey, Brooke, my mom's going on a date with Keith tonight so I was wondering if you would mind if I came over, we can watch a movie."

Brooke didn't detect anything in his voice that would tell her that Nathan had gotten to him so she found herself nodding, "sure, Lucas, come on over."

222

It was somewhere in between The Notebook when Lucas finally looked over to the girl sitting beside him sniffling and yelling at the man in the movie to "quit being so God damned stupid and kiss her!" Her eyes were puffy, which she hadn't bothered to conceal, but that glow was still there, maybe even brighter.

"What did he do," Lucas finally whispered.

Brooke looked into his eyes, the same identical blue eyes as Nathan's but very different too, "he's seeing her again."

"They were just studying," Lucas finally admitted in that sentence that Nathan had put him up to this.

Brooke shook her head in surprise and rose, "I should have known! Well you can march your behind right back to Nathan Scott and tell him that there is no way in hell that I'm going to forgive him for this shit again!"

Lucas rose too, "it was innocent, Brooke."

"It is never innocent with her Lucas," she shouted, surprising them both. She took a shakey breath, "A kiss always means something."

"They didn't kiss, Brooke," Lucas whispered.

She nodded suddenly as if clearing her mind of a fog, "I know. I just got confused for a second."

"Oh, God," Lucas' eyes widened in understanding, "he cheated on you with Haley."

She looked away but he still saw the twin tears as they began their quick descent down her cheeks, "we were different, stupid people a year ago. I know that sounds ridiculous because we're still only teenagers but honestly we were so fucking stupid! Haley and Peyton were my best friends, my self-proclaimed soul sisters. I caught them in her room. They weren't just kissing, they were making out and I know my boyfriend, I know where making out with him leads."

"Oh, God," he repeated and sat.

"If Haley had told me that she was interested in Nathan before we started dating I wouldn't have touched him. I would never do that to her or Peyton! She knew that, Lucas, she knew that I would have left him even if it broke my heart, for her. She knew how much I loved him, and she knew that I would never believe any idle gossip about them unless I had seen it for myself. I asked her, Luke, I asked if something was going on between them and she said no. She looked me in my eyes and told me that she had a man in her life and it wasn't Nathan."

"Sit down," his order took her by surprise and she sat. He looked in her eyes and felt that the moment was right until he considered everything. Her heart was breaking because she was so in love with his brother. He took a deep breath, "I may not have been here for all of that drama but I do know some things. Nathan is essentially a good guy but with you he's at his best. He loves you, Brooke. No matter what happened in the past, right now, right this second, he is grieving the loss of you. A love like that is so rare that it can't even be compared to the most exquisite diamonds in the world. It doesn't matter if we're teenagers or the fucking elderly, you have experienced the type of love some people can't even comprehend. That love is worth any potential heartbreak. It's worth you putting down your shield and talking things over with him…and with her."

Minutes ticked by, each one seemingly longer than the last. Finally Brooke surprised him by cupping his cheek, "everyone thinks that you're just some quiet, broody, basketball player, but I knew the very first time I met you that you were going to be important to me."

Lucas choked, he wanted to hold her and it was his pleasure to do so when she launched herself into his arms. A few moments later she rose and said very primly, "I'm going to powder my nose and then you can drive me to Nathan's house."

He nodded and watched her run up the stairs with a smile on his face. She hand placed a very small, tender kiss on his cheek and for a moment it had lit up his world. Now he knew exactly why Nathan couldn't let her go.

222

Nathan was still reeling from his own stupidity. What the hell had he been thinking? Ever since the day Brooke had caught him with Haley he had been making it up to her. For a small moment in time he had believed that maybe Brooke wasn't for him but when she'd caught them his mind had gotten startlingly clear. Without Brooke Davis he was a lost man. She made him want to be better, made him want to be the guy that she never regretted allowing into her heart.

He punched his wall, "I'm such a fucking idiot!"  
"You can say that again," her voice pulled him into some sort of trance.

Nathan turned and looked her over. She had been crying, he could always tell, "it was innocent, Brooke."

"I know that now," she smiled just a bit, "Lucas and I talked."  
"I would never hurt you again like that, Brooke. I would rather die then ever make you cry again," he admitted.

"I wasn't fair to you today, Nate. I didn't see anything that was inappropriate and I left before you could explain. I heard her words but I never bothered to listen to yours. Tell me the truth, Nate, tell me who you want to be with. If it's her maybe one day we could be friends again but if you lie to me and I ever catch you two again I won't ever be able to be around you again. My heart-" she averted her face and gently thumped her chest.

Nathan drew her into his arms and felt the sweetest sense of relief when her arms wrapped around his waist and held fast, "don't think for one second that I don't love you. There is no other woman for me. I would climb mountains and cross seas just to be by your side. Don't give up on me!"  
His words ended in a choking sound and moments later Brooke felt his tears. She cupped his cheek and looked deeply into his eyes. Her heart was pounding so fiercely that she couldn't even make space to breathe. As her tears ran down her face she smiled, "oh, baby, I could never give up on you. You're in my blood, Scott."

He didn't say another word he just captured her lips with his and took her to his bed, where she belonged.


	6. Author's Note II

Hello, again! Thanks so much for everyone who's been writing such informative and helpful reviews. I appreciate it. My next chapter will have a small portion of mature content. Nothing too big, but I believe it's necessary. Once again if you're not into graphic scenes feel free to just skip that part and move onto the next.

-A.E.


	7. Some Days Are Worse Than Others

"Okay ladies, the competition is in approximately 48 hours. We'll be leaving tomorrow after school, when we get to Charlotte we'll cheer for the boys in their game, then practice and call it a night. Saturday morning we'll get up early and practice and then we'll kick those other teams' asses and win the trophy."

"Good pep talk," Peyton laughed out loud.

Brooke grinned along with all of the girls, "we can do this. I have a lot of faith in all of you."

"Well in that case, all mighty leader, we'll be sure to win," Haley's voice cut through the giggling with infinite precision. She knew that Brooke hated to be demeaned in front of her squad.

"Don't do it for me, do it because it's important to you," Brooke's voice was clipped but she was visibly trying to contain herself. As a rule she tried not to do anything that would add to the idle gossip that always surrounded her.

Haley rolled her eyes, "everyone on this team is just doing this stupid competition so that you'll get off our backs."

"If that's how you feel then you don't have to go, Haley. I only want the girls who want to compete and win to go."

"Oh, I'm going to compete, but I don't want to win a stupid trophy," the innuendo was unmistakable. Everyone knew what she was talking about.

Before Brooke knew what she was doing she was standing toe-to-toe with Haley and trying with all of her might to keep her mask in place. She was cold, calculating, a bitch, an ice queen, no one could touch her. Brooke had a hell of a lot of respect for Haley despite their relationship but she would be damned if anyone disrespected her.

"You have a lot of nerve," Brooke ground out.

"I have nerve? Well at least one of us does," Haley quickly replied.

Brooke's insides quivered in anticipation, she hadn't been in a good bitch fight since the last day of eighth grade. She and Rachel had become good friends since that day. It was a shame that things with Haley had gotten this bad. But Brooke wasn't willing to get as close to losing Nathan as she had once been.

"You wanna see nerve?"

Haley hadn't expected Brooke to shove her but when she found herself on her ass, on the floor of the gym, her temper rose, "bitch!"

"Is that the best you've got? I've been called much worse," Brooke couldn't wait for her to take a swing so she'd have a reason to kick her ass.

"You can't fight before the competition, you'll get kicked off of the team," Rachel's voice was accompanied by her friend wrapping her hand around Brooke's wrist.

"Come on, B. Davis, another time," Peyton urged her.

Haley rose, seeing her chance, and swung her hand as hard as she could, backhanding Brooke across the face. The gasps from the cheerleaders were so loud that the basketball players looked that way in just enough time to see Brooke break from Rachel's grasp and jump Haley.

"You are so going to regret that," Brooke's voice had taken on a quality that was truly frightening. As soon as they hit the floor Brooke rolled so she was straddling Haley and slapped her hard.

"Brooke, are you crazy, you can't fight before the competition," Nathan's arm slid around her waist and pulled her away. She fought against his arm and watched as Haley did the same against Lucas.

"I'm so going to kick your ass," Haley yelled at her.

Brooke broke free for just one moment, which was all she needed. She gripped Haley's chin and looked her in the eyes, "if you ever touch my boyfriend again, you'll regret the day that you ever met me."

Before Haley could reply Nathan was hauling Brooke back and toward the locker rooms. Everyone followed him and soon it was just Lucas holding Haley. She wretched herself free, "don't touch me!"

"Why are you doing this, Haley? Why are you trying to hurt her," Lucas wanted to know.

"What would you know," she spat, the jealousy in her eyes made Lucas wince, "why are you doing this to yourself?"

"What are you talking about," Lucas asked.

Haley rubbed her eyes, she hadn't even realized she'd been crying. Her voice quieted, "you like her. If I could just be with Nathan you'd be free to pursue her!"

Luke wretched away from her his eyes narrowed, "what the hell is wrong with you? I would never ever participate in any action that would break either of their hearts."

"Don't make me seem like the only bad guy when you spend most of your time fantasizing over her, do you think it's not obvious? Everyone except the two of them know, you're not hiding from anybody," she stalked off and out of the gym. Lucas was left to ponder what she had said.

2222

"Crazy drama," Jake mentioned as he sat with the guys around the poker table. Somehow Nathan had gotten the beach house to himself and had called for an unofficial game. Normally they only played every other Saturday when Jake's parents were out of town.

Skillz, a basketball player and "playa-extraordinaire", took a sip of his beer as he looked at his cards, "what's up good wit your girl, dog?"  
Nathan took a deep breath before taking a big gulp of beer, "she caught Haley and I in my kitchen studying."

"Yeah," Skillz snorted, "that's the kind of studying I like best."

"Naw, man," Lucas spoke up, "he was just studying."

"Then what was today about," Jake asked.

Lucas put two chips in the middle of the table, "I'll raise you. Today was about Haley stepping out of line and Brooke calling her up."

"What did you do with Haley though man? Everyone knows she caught you two but what did you _really_ do?"

Nathan looked at Lucas, he knew that his brother knew what Brooke had told him, but he didn't know all of it. If he was honest with himself he would admit that he was afraid that his newfound friendship with Lucas would turn to shit the instant he heard his side. It was obvious that Lucas adored Brooke, most people did, and didn't want to see her hurt.

"She caught us making out but that wasn't the only reason she was upset. For a ridiculously small time I thought that maybe Haley was for me. But when I saw Brooke's face I realized that she was just manipulating me. Haley knew that if she had told Brooke that she was interested in me Brooke would never have come near me. For some sick reason she wanted there to be a competition. It was never about maybe feeling something for one another, it was about her game."  
"Damn," Skillz whistled, "she is one fucked up chick. I'd still do her though."

Jake couldn't help the slightly inebriated chuckle that passed through his lips and soon all of the guys were laughing.

2222

Haley had expected a riot. Maybe the whole squad up in arms at her front door to destroy her or even the basketball players. She hadn't, not even her wildest dreams, thought that she would see Brooke at her front door.

She tried to call upon her reserve of subtle insults but not one would come to mind. She just stood there and said quite stupidly, "what are you doing here?"

Brooke pulled her jacket tighter around herself, "are you're parents home? I wanted to talk to you."

"I don't think that's-"

"Haley," Brooke's voice rose only slightly, "we need to talk."  
Haley propped open the door and watched as Brooke walked through the house toward the living room. They both sat on the ancient couch that her hippy, absentee parents had left, "what?"

"What are you playing at Haley? Come out and tell me what you want," Brooke called her out.

By then Haley's mask of icy calmness had settled, "I want you to say whatever you came to say and get out."  
"I don't understand why you're mad at me. I did nothing but stand by you for years and you repaid me by trying to sleep with my boyfriend, twice!"  
"We're only sixteen Brooke, do you honestly believe you'll be with Nathan forever? Love is fickle when you don't even know who you are," Haley informed her.

Brooke smiled, a wide grin that made her dimples sink in, "I honestly believe that I love Nathan now and I think that's enough. I can't tell you what's in the future but I can tell you about the present."

"Case and point, Brooke Davis, is that I want Nathan, and I plan to have him," Haley told her.

That sounded like the calling to arms, Brooke thought as she rose. She looked at her ex-best friend with pity. For the first time she was seeing her for the person she had become. Somewhere down the road Haley had been eaten up by her problems, "where are your parents right now?"

Haley's eyes widened in surprise at the question, "Wisconsin at last phone call, why?"

Brooke nodded, they're lives were so similar but they were so different. She wasn't worried anymore, "my love isn't fickle because I know who I am Haley. I may change but right this moment I know exactly who I am. I'm Brooke Davis, your cheer captain, Nathan Scott's girlfriend, and someone who's heart is aching with pity because you don't have a clue who you are or how much you're damaging yourself."

Haley watched Brooke walk out and felt the familiar frustration at not being able to control the situations in her life that she thought she should. She gritted her teeth, Brooke thought she was done having to worry about her and Nathan, well she was wrong. Haley would get him, one way or another.

2222

"Nate," Brooke walked into the beach house and was immediately surrounded by cigar smoke and the very obvious scent of beer. She crept into the kitchen to find Jake, Skillz, Lucas and Nathan playing poker and laughing hysterically about something.

Finally Jake looked up and saw Brooke. He just laughed harder, "hey, Davis, what's up?"

"You boys are drunk," she stated.

"Naw, baby," Nate belched and then laughed.

Skillz rose and began to dance with her. He waltzed her around the kitchen, "girl, you are so fine!"

All the guys laughed and eventually Brooke laughed with them before she was dropped unceremoniously onto Nathan's lap. He wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed the back of her neck, "what are you doing here anyway?"  
"I just came by because you said you'd be here tonight. You didn't tell me you'd have company," she looked at his cards and placed three chips in the middle of the table, "raise you."

Eventually Brooke got her own seat and won two rounds.

2222

Peyton crept into the beach house the following morning. Nathan looked up in startled surprise from the kitchen counter where he'd been making breakfast.

"Hey, Nate," Peyton smiled at him and peaked at what he was making, she steadfastly ignoring his partially naked state, he was only in his boxers and a pair of socks.

Nathan grinned, "Jake's on the couch snoring up a storm."

"You guys must have been drinking last night," Peyton concluded.

"Just a little, but at least the place doesn't look the way Brooke's house does after a girl's night in," Nate countered.

Peyton just rolled her eyes, "I'm actually here to see her."

"She's up stairs in bed, go on up," he nodded his head.

Peyton made her way up the stairs and found Nathan's room. Brooke was sitting up, the sheet wrapped around her. She looked into her best friend's eyes in surprise, "hey, P. Sawyer, what are you doing here?"

"Did you go talk to her," Peyton asked.

Brooke patted the spot beside her and waited until Peyton had curled up beside her, "something happened, Peyt. That's the only answer. She was never like this before, she always depended on us and then suddenly she was trying to steal Nathan? I can't believe that she could just wake up one day and not care about me, or any of us."

"Don't beat yourself up over this Brooke. There are some people you can't save no matter how hard you try," Peyton's voice had taken a husky quality.

"You don't have to come this weekend," Brooke murmured. Only their small group would be going to the cemetery with Peyton to pay their respects on the anniversary of her mother's death.

Peyton looked away from her friend, her eyes bright with tears, "I know, but I want to. Plus I can't leave you with Haley."

"Peyton," Brooke drew her friend's attention back, "if you need to be here and you need me to be with you, then I'm here. Nothing is as important to me as the people I love."

"I know, B. Davis, I know," they held each other for a long time, each mourning a different person.

2222

Nathan got dressed beside Brooke, each in red. Red had been Elizabeth Sawyer's favorite color and on Peyton's request they wore it every year on the same day. They were looking into the same mirror as they dressed, so Nathan could read Brooke's emotions.

"How's she doing," he asked.

"She hurts, Nate. Sometimes I can't stand to look into her eyes because they're so fucking heartbroken," Brooke's voice broke and she hung her head. When her loved one's felt pain she also felt it. If she could have done anything to alleviate Peyton's pain she would have.

Nathan took her into his arms and held her close. There was so much to her. He had never met anyone who could seem like one person but be so much more when you got close enough to look. Brooke was like salvation, she didn't know it but she was like a balm to the sore hearts of everyone she touched. If anyone could truly help Peyton it was Brooke.

"I worry sometimes about dying," she murmured, "not for me but for you guys. Her mom died so suddenly. I remember going to her funeral, we stood there with your parents, and Peyton cried so hard. I've never seen such a broken person."

"Then you gathered her into your bony little arms and rocked her," Nathan remembered.

"Then I did the only thing I could. I couldn't take back her mom's death, I couldn't stop her pain, but God help me she was not going to stand there alone."

Nate groaned and kissed her. The thought of her dying scared him out of his mind. He needed to feel her, to touch her. He knew they didn't have time but he had to taste her. Very gently he laid her on his bed. He slipped his hands beneath her shirt and cupped her breasts, but his mouth never left hers. If she said even one more word he would be breaking down along side Peyton.

2222

"What are we doing here," Lucas asked as he, Nathan and Brooke walked.

Brooke looked him over, she had given him one of Nathan's red shirts because they didn't have time to run back to his house, "we're here for moral support."

She walked ahead and Nathan inclined his head toward the plot where Peyton was all ready standing with Jake, "this is the anniversary of Peyton's mother's death. We come every year dressed in red because that was her favorite color."  
"Why am I here," Lucas wasn't sure that he was supposed to be there.

"I told you," Nathan replied, "Brooke chose you. You're a part of us now."

They all stood together, Peyton directly in front of the grave stone with Jake and Brooke beside her holding her hands. Nathan and Luke were behind, each with a hand on her shoulders. The tears always came quickly. Somehow she managed to get through every other day of the year but when this day rolled around it seemed as if her tears were unstoppable. Last year she had embarrassed herself in her math class because she hadn't realized she'd been crying. The tears had just started and everyone had stared until Nathan had gotten her out of there.

"This sucks," she told them.

"It does," Brooke agreed quietly.

"She's watching you though, babe. I know she's proud of you," Jake whispered into her hair.

Nathan gently squeezed her shoulder, "we're here, Peyt."

She sobbed, and her body shook, "it's not fair!"  
There wasn't a thing that any of them could say, but they stood there together as a unit. Down a few feet Haley watched the group and wiped away her own tears before walking away.


	8. Return To Grace

Haley sat in the front of the bus, away from the basketball players talking stats and the cheerleaders flipping through their magazines. The anniversary of Peyton's mom's death struck her hard. Just because she was having her issues with Brooke didn't mean that she didn't still mourn with her ex-friend. And if she were honest with herself she'd admit that she understood why Peyton had chosen to remain friends with Brooke. They had all been so different that first year of high school. And then when Brooke had caught them she had become a different person. She had begun to become the person that Haley always knew she wanted to be.

She could still remember first beginning to realize Brooke was changing for the better. It had been at a cheer practice not more than two weeks after she had caught Haley and Nathan. Not more than two

weeks since the last time she had looked either of them in the eyes or spoken to them. Not more than two weeks since Nathan had said even one kind word to her.

_"All right girls," Brooke showed them the new moves they'd be sporting with the help of the then captain, Bridget._

_After a few moments a break was called. Haley listened intently to Brooke and Bridget's conversation, "you can go if you need to."_

_"No," Brooke's answer shocked Haley. She had been quite sure that Brooke would have her socially massacred. Instead Brooke was going to the extent of not allowing anyone to discuss it and Haley was still safely the second cheerleader in line for captain._

_A girl bumped into Brooke and then blushed hotly, "I'm so sorry Brooke!"_

_The old Brooke would have snapped at her or just ignored her but suddenly Brooke put a hand on the girl's shoulder to steady her, "no problem. I don't know if we've met?"_

_"You sit behind me in Algebra," the girl explained._

_"I'm sorry I never noticed you before, what's your name?"_

_"Laura," she replied and the smile she flashed Brooke was blinding. She had obviously never felt so special before._

_"Nice to meet you," Brooke gave her a famous wink and then turned her attention back to Bridget._

_That was the moment Haley knew something had changed in Brooke Davis. She wasn't the spoiled, bratty rich girl who always got her way. Haley had hurt her and she had recognized the fact that she never wished that pain on anyone else, not even the girl who had taught her the tough lesson. _

Haley took a long drink of the vodka she had disguised in a spout bottle. She felt her bitterness burning through her like acid and strived to pretend that she was just imagining it.

333

"I love you," Jake whispered into Peyton's hair. They were sitting in the very back. Normally the cheerleaders didn't sit with the basketball players in pairs but Whitey had allowed it after pulling the blond into his arms. Ever since she was little Peyton and Whitey went to visit the graves of his wife and her mother once a month. Whitey had missed that morning and had actually told Jake he was to sit with her the entire trip.

"I love you too, Jake," Peyton looked ahead to where Brooke was looking out of the window. Sometimes her friend looked so lost, "Haley's getting to her."

"Don't worry about it right now," Jake didn't want her to be anymore stressed then she all ready was.

Peyton had cried her eyes out with her friends. She had been surrounded by more love then some people had in a lifetime. She appreciated each of them, even Lucas who was very quickly becoming a friend with whom she shared many interests.

"I wish she would just kick her off the team. But she won't because she's Brooke. You know Haley always said Brooke was a spoiled brat and I think she meant it. She never knew the real Brooke. She acted surprised when Brooke started to become more social to everyone and wanted to better herself."

"Peyton," Jake used his stern voice, "you do not need to worry about this right now."

"But I am. She's my best friend, Jake, and if Haley keeps this up then Brooke will just get even more hurt," Peyton murmured.

"What do you want to do," he asked her.

His gorgeous curly haired girlfriend huffed adorably, "I want to smack the taste out of her mouth but I'll settle for speaking with her privately. One way or another she'll lay off or she'll be off this squad."

333

Brooke looked out her window and worried. Peyton had broken down before but today had been an emotional day. Everyone in their group always went home emotionally exhausted on this day every year. She sighed, glad that Lucas had been there as their fifth person. She had tried to fill Haley's spot with Lucas but he did something unexpected, he created his own spot. The problem with that, Brooke thought, was that it still left Haley's spot open like a festering wound. She knew they would have to cut her out or risk diseasing and eventually destroying them all.

The very night that she had caught Nathan and Haley she had turned over a new leaf. As she had cried herself to sleep her mind kept wandering to the girl she had made cry a few days before. A girl had accidentally spilt some milk on Brooke's wool skirt and she had flipped out. Brooke had publicly humiliated another person for no real reason. That girl's humiliation stung her deeply as she felt her own pain. She would never wish the kind of awful pain she had felt on anyone, not even Haley. Thus had begun Brooke Davis' return to grace.

Brooke snorted to herself but Rachael looked at her, "what's up, bitch?"  
"What was the most painful experience of your life," Brooke asked.

Rachael glanced at Haley before looking at Brooke expectantly, "the day my father told me that he was going to be in LA indefinitely and that maybe I could come stay for a summer if he didn't have anything else to do."

To everyone else in the free known universe Rachel would have bitched at or smacked for asking her the question. For Brooke, she answered honestly knowing that she needed to hear it.

"I don't want her to feel that kind of pain, Rachel. God help me, but I don't have it in me to hate her."

Rachel watched in horror as Brooke's eyes filled. Brooke Davis did not cry in public but it was also well known that today was the anniversary of Elizabeth Sawyer's death and that the group had gone to the cemetery.

"Nathan," Rachel shouted his name and then turned back to Brooke, "get it together Davis."

"What's up," Nathan asked as he stood beside the seat. One glance at Brooke's face told him everything. Rachel quickly got up and allowed him to sit beside his girlfriend. He drew her into his arms and held her, "I love you."

"You know exactly what to say," Brooke told him.

He rubbed her back soothingly and felt the quick constriction in his chest when she laced her fingers with his, "I don't know if I ever told you this."

"What," she whispered.

"You remember our first date right," he asked.

Brooke grinned, "of course I do! Your parents drove us to the lake and you and your mother made a picnic for us to share. You were very romantic as a child, even cuter with those braces."

"Anyway," he hedged, "the day I finally worked up the nerve to ask you on an actual date was really the eighty first day."

"The eight first day of what," Brooke was curious now. Her boyfriend wasn't making any sense.

"Eighty one days before I asked you out was the first day that I realized that I was in love with you. It took me three months to work up the courage to approach you that way," he explained.

"Why? We were best friends!"

He smiled and kissed her soft lips, "I know but when I finally realized that you were the one for me I didn't know what to say to make you realize that I could be the one for you."

Brooke smiled into his eyes and fell even more in love then ever. She turned slightly so she was resting her back against his hard chest and closed her eyes. She smiled as she drifted and heard his soft words, "I love you Brooke Davis."

Lucas forever found his thoughts drifting back toward what Haley had said the other day. He didn't want to believe that he could so casually push aside his principles and try to break up the obviously perfect couple that was his brother and Brooke. But it seemed like everything he learned about her was one more thing he loved about her. He didn't want to like her, or to think about her constantly. When he wasn't with her he thought about her and when they were together it was like fucking Christmas morning in his heart!

Around an hour into the ride they pulled up to a MacDonalds and were given strict instructions. Whitey stood up, "Forty-five minutes and not one minute more. We'll leave you and then you'll have to call Mommy and Daddy to pick up your sorry behind!"

Nathan sat across from Lucas and quickly looked him over, "what's up with you man?"

"Nothing," Lucas did not want to discuss his feelings with his brother.

"You've been zoning all day. Was it the cemetery," Nathan asked quietly.

"Yeah it was creepy and sad. She just broke down," but the fact was, just knowing that Peyton trusted him enough to break down and to depend on him made him feel good. He was really a part of the group, he couldn't risk his new found position by screwing over Nathan and Brooke. But beyond that he didn't want to hurt either of them.

"Peyton's not one to weep all the time and neither is Brooke but recently they've both been hyper-sad. Peyton always gets a bit depressed before the anniversary and Brooke has this stupid shit with Haley!"

Lucas watched his brother obsess over all the things that everyone was going through except himself. Nathan didn't even realize that he was stressing out on everyone else's behalf. He was a martyr for everyone and now he wanted to take on Lucas' problems too. Luke felt his words tumble out, "I like this girl, but she's not meant for me. I mean, I know for a fact that she is not meant for me, but I want her."  
Nathan's eyes widened before he grinned, "then take her, man! You never know until you try."

"No, Nate, I know she's not meant for me. Without doubt," he stressed.

"Nothing is ever without doubt especially in high school. People will surprise you and sometimes they'll do the shit you think they will. It's all about the effort you put in. You can win her over. I mean you've got the Scott's blue eyes, an athlete's body, and you're smart."

"I don't know," Lucas murmured. Even if he thought there was a chance to be with Brooke it was so obvious that she was in love with Nathan. He took a deep breath and determined that he wasn't going to think about her anymore. He would just have to stay away from her. He was very afraid that if he didn't he'd lose his soul to the dark bitterness that swirled around these people. He looked up and found Haley's eyes on him.


	9. The Longest Night Pt1

The locker room that the Tree Hill cheerleaders had been designated was old and dark with shadows everywhere. But it didn't matter because they were beneath the court and could hear the screams of fans. They were transforming from ordinary cheerleaders in matching jump suits into a group of girls who supported their men in good and bad while wearing some of the most unflattering clothing on earth.

Brooke gently painted 22 on her cheek and then smiled up at Rachel, "are you ready?"

"Damn right I am! This is one of the most important preliminary games of the year," Rachel emphasized.

"I hope Nathan doesn't get himself too worked up," Brooke murmured. She knew her boyfriend, when it came to basketball he was a perfectionist.

While Brooke was busy chit-chatting with the girls Peyton was coming behind Haley. She placed a hand on her shoulder and jumped back when she whirled around, apparently ready to fight. Her eyes widened slightly when she saw it was Peyton, "what's up?"

"We need to talk," Peyton replied. This girl looked like the old Haley she used to know, but that Haley would never dream of hurting Brooke.

"Look Peyton I don't want to get on this today," Haley began.  
"Why, because it's the anniversary? You're not a part of that anymore," Peyton snapped.

"I still worry," Haley admitted quietly.

"If you want to worry about something then worry about what I'll do to you if you don't stop this little game of yours," Peyton suggested sweetly.

Haley took in a swift breath. Peyton wasn't one to joke around when it came to Brooke. For a long time Brooke had been the out spoken and obviously friendly one, Peyton had hid but about the same time Brooke began to change Peyton began to grow into herself. She wasn't afraid of anyone and she would fight for the girl she called a sister.

"It's not a game, Peyton. Nathan and I are meant to be together," Haley admitted.

Peyton's blues eyes widened in complete surprise. She had never expected Haley to say that, "what are you talking about? It is obvious to everyone that he and Brooke are perfect for one another. They make each other better people, they complete each other!"

"If that were true then he would have never looked at me that way. You weren't there when we were together for those short months, Peyton. He wouldn't look at me and kiss me like that if his love for Brooke was as strong as they pretend it is!"

"No," Peyton grabbed Haley's arm, "it got stronger. What they had originally may have been fickle but when they started to become better people they realized that their love would last forever. Your treachery only strengthened what they had and I think that's why you're so fucking bitter."

Haley snatched her arm back and gasped when Peyton moved in close to her and whispered, "you've been drinking!"  
"What's going on, Peyton," Brooke's voice sounded behind her friend.

Peyton shot Haley a disgusted glance and turned to Brooke, "nothing, babe, let's get my man's number on my cheek so we can get out there!"  
Brooke took Peyton's hand and shot a questioning glance at Haley before leading her toward the other girls.

8:00pm

Nathan shot the final basket of the night. He'd went to the basket, as always, and got the two pointer that the Ravens had needed to beat the opposing team by one point. The very moment it went in Brooke had been in his arms, kissing him with a huge grin on her face.

"I'm so proud of you," she yelled over the screams of the fans.

"I love you," he screamed back and kissed her all over again.

The moment was perfect. It was the last perfect moment of the night

9:45pm

"Come on girls one more time," Brooke told her tired cheerleaders. She clapped her hands, "1-2-3 step up, step down, hands up side to side."

They'd been practicing since the light dinner they had shared with the basketball players after the game. Brooke knew that winning this competition wouldn't be easy especially without Bridget, who had been an amazing choreographer.

Brooke looked sharply toward the middle of the group. Haley was stumbling around, like she had absolutely no sense of equilibrium. Her eyes widened in shock, "okay, ladies break! Haley I'd like to speak with you."

Haley rolled her eyes and then gave Peyton the middle finger before barely surviving the hop off the stage and then strode toward Brooke. She stopped just inches from her former friend, "what?"  
"Have you been drinking," Brooke asked scrunching up her nose.

"So what if I have? What are you going to do, scare me into sobriety," Haley wondered.

Brooke had never felt so furious that quickly not even during their little bitch fight the day before, "why are you here Haley? Damn it, why are you trying to make it so hard for me to love you? I want to be your friend but you've got to stop trying to ruin my life!"  
"Everything is not about you," Haley shouted.

Peyton began to walk toward the pair but Brooke held up her hand to tell her to stay back, "keep your voice down!"

"No, if I want to yell then I damned well will! I'm not trying to ruin your life, I am trying to get what I deserve!"

"Nathan isn't some prize that we can fight for Haley! He's a person with feelings. I'm sorry but he wants to be with me. What happened to you?"

Haley turned away, "get away from me!"  
"Tell me what happened," Brooke begged, "let me help you!"  
"You can't help me," she shouted. Her eyes burned into Brooke's, "we slept together. Did he tell you that? Did he tell you that he touched me, that he had his fingers inside of me? Did he tell you that he put his mouth all over my body? Did he Brooke?"

Brooke's eyes filled, "no, he didn't tell me because that never happened. Why won't you let me help?"

To her horror she felt herself blush. Brooke was so certain and Haley all ready felt guilty for lying. Her eyes filled as she saw the anguish in Brooke's eyes, "just stay away from me Brooke. Stay the hell away from me."

Peyton's arms were holding Brooke close before Haley had even managed to slam the door behind herself, "it's okay B. Davis, it's all going to be okay!"

10:21pm

Lucas caught up with Haley just as she was stumbling out of the hotel and toward the street. She looked into his eyes and for once he didn't see bitterness, only loneliness and pain. He looked her over in complete confusion, "why are you doing this if you know you don't want to?"

"I have to, Lucas, I need him," Haley admitted.

"Why, just explain it to me!"

Haley looked into his blue eyes. His eyes were a bit lighter than Nathan and Peyton's but definitely stunning. How was it that she had never noticed before?

"Look, why don't we go get you something to eat, I noticed you didn't eat much with at dinner," he told her.

Haley shook her head, "why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Because you matter to me, Haley. You matter to Brooke and to all the others and you matter to me," he repeated.

"Why, you don't even know me!"

"Let me know you," he begged her.

"I'm not Brooke and I never will be," she told him.

Lucas nodded in understanding, "and I'm not Nathan. I think those are our crosses to bear, the fact that we will never be the people we find ourselves most drawn to."

Haley let him take her hand and lead her toward the small diner down the street.

11:20pm

Nathan lay with Brooke asleep in his arms. Lucas had taken a walk when Brooke had come in upset earlier and he hadn't returned. He was beginning to worry for his brother. Charlotte wasn't a place known for violence but you could never be too sure.

The knock on the door startled him. He gently lowered Brook onto a pillow and smiled as she snuggled into it, "who is it?"

"Me," Rachael's voice sounded worried.

Nathan opened the door to reveal a very upset Rachael. He didn't know her all that well because she had just transferred a few months back but Brooke had taken her under her wing and allowed her to be on the coveted Varsity Cheer Squad.

"What's wrong," Nathan asked.

"Is Brooke here, I need to talk," she explained.

Nathan was about to tell her that Brooke was exhausted and need to sleep but a warm hand suddenly rubbed his barely clad hip, "it's okay, Nate, I'm awake."

He kissed Brooke's sleep tousled hair before heading into hallway, "I'll be in Skillz and Jake's room, they said they'd be up playing video games."  
Brooke kissed his lips and gave him a cheeky grin before stepping back and allowing Rachael entrance. When they were both settled on the bed Rachael buried her hands in her hair, "I'm pregnant."

"You're what," Brooke jumped off the bed.

"I know, I'm an idiot. I'm sixteen and pregnant. I'm a fucking Lifetime movie!"

"How do you know? Did you take a test? Who's the father?"  
Rachael huffed, "I'm late, I'm never late. And you trust me, you don't want to know who the possible Daddy-to-be is."

"Okay," Brooke took a deep breath, "let's take this one step at a time. Let's go get a pregnancy test."

"Now," Rachael's lips wobbled.

Brooke pulled a hand through her hair, "yeah, now!" 

11:27pm

"Which one," Rachael asked.

"I don't know, I've never done this," Brooke whispered back.

Rachael was scared but felt overwhelming relief that Brooke was beside her. She picked up the four name brand, "let's take these. You can never be too sure, right?"

"Why don't you go grab some sodas so no one will question us when we get back to the hotel," as Brooke waited for Rachael she read the back of the test thinking that this was the longest day ever.

11:27pm

"That was a good second dinner Luke," Haley told Lucas as they walked down the street.

"Thank you, hotdogs at a sleazy restaurant is my favorite date," he told her with a laugh.

Haley stopped, "date?"

Luke smiled and took her hand, "yeah, a really, really, really bad first date. But hopefully they'll get better."

She hid her grin but as they passed a Walgreens she stopped, "I'm thirsty can we get a soda?"

"Yeah," they both walked in together, Luke behind Haley and followed her until she stopped abruptly. Quickly she pulled him behind her and peaked back down the aisle. Lucas had to physically swallow his gasp, Brooke Davis was reading the back of a pregnancy test. Haley had to swallow her own gasp. Brooke Davis was pregnant? Did Nathan know?


	10. The Longest Night Pt2

7:30am

Nathan woke with a start. He looked over to Lucas' bed and felt a sense of relief that his brother was snoring softly in his bed. Nate crinkled his forehead, when had he began to consider Lucas his brother?

"What are you smiling about handsome," Brooke raspy question pulled him away from his thoughts.

He grinned down at the love of his life and just took her in. She was looking up at him, her long brown hair tangled around her shoulders, her eyes still bright with sleep and her beautiful mouth upturned into a grin.

"I was just thinking how good it is to have a brother. You know, someone to take Dan's shit with me and he's cool. I'm glad I listened to you about him. You're pretty brilliant, Davis."

She rolled toward him and pecked his shoulder, "well it took you long enough to realize! Oh, I'm so tired I don't want to get up."

"What were you and Rachael doing all night anyway," Nate asked.

Brooke thought about the long night of Rachael drinking a gallon of water and peeing on four separate pregnancy tests, "you know, just spending quality time."

"Yeah," Nathan snuggled back into the bed with her, intent on getting a few more hours sleep.

In the bed across the room Lucas was awake wondering when and how Brooke was going to break it to Nathan that he was going to be a father.

9am

"All right girls, this is what we've been practicing for, this is what I've been pushing you all for. In five minutes we're going to go onto that stage and dance. Let's have a great time and have fun," Brooke winked at her squad and grinned.

As the girls moved closer to the curtain Brooke stayed behind and was surprised to find Haley by her side. The girl didn't look at her but she spoke softly after a moment, "good luck Brooke, with everything."

Brooke watched her ex-best friend walk to the group in awe. Was that the same girl that had told her off not even twenty-four hours ago?

"Was I just seeing things or were you and Haley actually exchanging kind words," Rachael asked.

"I know," Brooke still had wide eyes, "I hope that doesn't mean she's been drinking more."

Rachael put a hand on Brooke's shoulder, "thank you…for everything. I know that you probably didn't want to spend the whole night before the competition sitting with me."

"No," she stopped her friend, "if you ever need me then don't ever think that you'll be impinging on me. You're my friend Rachael, and I always have time for friends."

"Thanks," Rachael gave her a brave smile and went to stand with the other girls.

12pm

The entire basketball team and cheer squad was sitting around a huge table at Garcia's Mexican Restaurante. The Tree Hill Cheer Squad had gotten second place and Brooke had received the award for best choreographer. All in all it had been a good day, she thought. Haley had spoken to her, she and Rachael were growing closer and closer and Peyton seemed to be having a good day.

"What are you thinking about? Please tell me it was something dirty," Nathan's whispered question made her giggle.

"I was just thinking about how happy I am right now," Brooke replied.

As lunch wore on Brooke noticed that Lucas and Haley were sitting together and speaking quietly. She was intrigued by this revelation but not in the way she anticipated. She had thought that she would be happy when Haley moved on but the fact that she had chosen Lucas worried her. Was this just another game? Was she trying to get with Lucas to get to Nathan? Did Lucas realize the jeopardy he could be placing his heart into?

3:25pm

"Hey, buddy," Brooke finally got to speak to Lucas a bit later. He was just getting out of the bathroom in the hotel room, "why were you showering before the game?"

"I play better when I'm clean," he grinned and pulled his lucky tee-shirt on. He looked her over wondering if she was pregnant or not. She was wearing a long baby tee-shirt and a pair of black sweats. From what he could see her midriff was as flat as ever. He tried not to look at her breasts.

"Well judging from where your eyes are your mind is pretty dirty," she winked and let it go at that.

"Okay Brooke," he pulled his jersey on, "what do you want to talk about?"

"What makes you think I want to talk," she asked but grinned.

"I haven't even known you for six months yet but I know when you want to talk about something that you think is serious. So, my very easy-to-read friend, what's on your mind?"

She pulled a hand through her hair and flashed him a quick grin, "I noticed today that you and Haley seem…closer then usual."

Luke stopped tying his shoes and looked at her, "yeah, last night she and I talked for a while. I think that she just needs someone who hasn't known her forever. Who wasn't around when she committed her sins, you know?"

Brooke leaned forward and took his hand, "look Luke, I'm trying to get her to open up to me. I forgave her a long time ago. But at the same time I feel really protective of you. When you became a part of our little group, when you came to the cemetery and stood there with Peyton, you became one of the few people that I can't stand to see hurt. My heart aches because Haley won't let me in and tell me what happened but I know that this heart ache will feel like a paper cut in comparison to the damage Haley could cause if she hurt you. I'm not telling you what to do, but I am telling you to be careful."

Lucas looked down at their hands and gulped, "Brooke, are you pregnant?"

The gasp that came from the door was very masculine. Brooke squeezed her eyes shut and turned to look into the blue eyes of the man she loved.

4pm

"Nate," Luke sat beside his brother as Nathan pulled his knee brace into place. The blow out that had occurred after his softly asked question would be something that he would never forget. Brooke had staunchly refused to answer him and Lucas had been forced to relay his story about seeing her reading the pregnancy test the night before. Nate had been furious that he hadn't told him the moment he came to the room and Brooke had been a mess. He couldn't understand why she wasn't talking.

"Look Luke I know you mean well but I can't think about any of this right now. If we lose this game then we basically forfeit the state championship, I need to focus," Nathan told him gruffly.

"Good luck," Luke offered.

Jake watched as Luke walked back to the lockers they shared. It was one huge locker for two and he had decided to share with Luke when he'd seen the volatile mood Nathan was in. He knew his best friend well enough to know when he'd had a blow out with his girlfriend, "how bad was it?"  
Luke glanced at him, "lots of yelling, lots of throwing things and lots of crying."

"Yeah, sounds like one of their semi-annual arguments. Seriously like twice a year they flip out and it's a dozy. I saw it once, never again I hope. Dare I even ask what it was regarding," Jake asked.

Nathan walked past them, a scowl on his face, Lucas sighed, "I questioned Brooke about a pregnancy test I caught her reading."

"Oh shit," Jake murmured, "we're in trouble."

"She wouldn't tell him if she was or wasn't and that's why he's pissed," Luke explained.

"Jesus," Jake followed behind Luke as they made their way toward the gym, "we're living in a fucking Lifetime movie."

4:52pm Half-time

"What the hell are you thinking out there Nathan Scott? Four fouls," Whitey's voice echoed through the locker room.

Nathan sat, scowling deeply, "I know, coach, I know!"  
Whitey continued to scream at the team. Jake bumped Nathan's knee with his own and whispered, "come on man, we can't afford for you to play like this today. Get your shit together and be a captain."

"I know!"

The team began their slow walk back to the gym to reclaim their game. Lucas put a hand on Nathan's shoulder, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you when I first saw man."

For a moment Nathan's gaze softened, "I know. It's hard to figure out who your loyalty belongs to when your own blood won't really accept you. You're my brother, Lucas. I'm not just saying that so you'll feel guilty, I'm saying it because this morning I woke up and I knew I had an older brother."

Luke grinned, "all right then, little brother, let's win this game."

5pm

"You gonna tell me what's bugging you, Davis," Peyton asked as the squad threw up their pom-poms in excitement.

Brooke took a deep breath, "I can't. I wish I could P. Sawyer, but I can't until everything is clear between me and Nate and everyone else involved."

"Oh, the semi-annual Davis-Scott blow out," Peyton nodded to herself.

"Really, all ready? I thought it was after Christmas," Rachael put in her two cents.

Brooke smiled at Rachael, "Lucas saw me at Walgreens. He questioned me about it, Nate found out, I couldn't tell him."

Rachael's smile fell and her voice lowered to a whisper, "you didn't tell him?"

Her friend shook her head gravely, "I made a promise."

"You stupid whore," Rachael threw down her pom-poms and hugged Brooke for all she was worth.

"Come on you two, everyone is watching," Peyton, forever patient with Brooke, gently chastised them. Abruptly hugging in the middle of a cheer would have the gossip wheel turning.

Brooke couldn't contain a few tears from slipping over. She was surprised to suddenly see Nathan's back in front of her as he waited for the ball, "stop crying Davis. You're still the love of my life."

Lucas threw him the ball and he made it in effortlessly. As he ran back down to half court he winked at her and worded the three sweetest words ever, "I love you."

7pm

When Nate came out of the gym showered and in his pre-game tie and slacks he ran right into Brooke, "hey."

She looked down at her white sneakers and whispered, "hey."

They walked together outside but stopped a few feet away from the bus. Nathan suddenly pulled her close to him and held tight, "I don't know what made you scared to tell me but if you are pregnant Brooke, I'm here for you. I love you and that is never going to change."

"Oh Nathan," she whimpered into his chest.

"Does that mean you are," he asked, a slight hitch in his throat.

Brooke looked into his eyes and wanted to tell him everything but she couldn't. The truth was that the only facts he had about the whole situation were quite true and quite damning. She had been reading the back of a pregnancy test in the middle of Walgreens late the night before. He had every reason to believe that she was pregnant, especially since she couldn't deny it. Luke had said he had been with Haley so she had to have seen Brooke also. If she admitted to Nathan that she hadn't been buying herself a pregnancy test then it would sound like a lie because a woman didn't go into a drug store and look at a pregnancy test for no reason. She would have to rat Rachael out and that wasn't going to happen. And she still didn't trust Haley with such sensitive information.

"I can't say," she finally told him.

Nathan held her closer, mistaking her words, "it'll be okay baby. We'll get through this."

8:17pm

Peyton didn't bother to knock as she flew through Nathan and Luke's doorway. She stopped at the end of the bed where Brooke was rubbing Nathan's back.

"What's up," Brooke asked as she kneaded her boyfriend's shoulders.

"You're pregnant," Peyton's furious whisper was accompanied by Brooke's head snapping to face Nathan.

He turned and smiled sheepishly, "I told Jake and he must have told Peyton."

"Nathan," Brooke tried to contain her irritation, "you cannot go around telling people that I am pregnant."

"Why not? It'll get out eventually," Nathan reminded her.

"Oh God," Peyton sat, "it's true? I'm too young to be a Godmother!"  
"Stop being a drama queen, Sawyer," Nathan pecked a kiss onto Peyton's brow and then left the room presumably to Jake's room. Peyton eyes widened, "he's okay with it?"

Brooke wanted to cry. She absolutely hated to lie to Peyton, "yeah, I guess. He's really supportive," at least that wasn't a lie.

"What about you? Are you feeling okay? What would possess you to buy a pregnancy test here?"

She shrugged and then used Rachael excuse, "no one knows me here."

"Are you going to keep it," the big question finally loomed.

Brooke shrugged as her nose flared in an effort to keep back the tears, "I can't really say."

Peyton studied her best friend for a few long moments, "what aren't you telling me, B. Davis?"  
"I can't really say," Brooke repeated.

"Is it not Nathan's," Peyton asked.

"No," Brooke shouted.

"No, it's not Nathan's baby or no, it's his baby," Peyton asked in confusion.

Brooke grabbed Peyton's hands and pulled her close so that her whisper would be barely audible, "if there was a baby it would be Nathan's."

"What do you mean? You're confusing the hell out of me Brooke. If? Is it still a question of if? Did you take the pregnancy test," Peyton asked.

Brooke sighed, she could finally answer, "no, I didn't take the pregnancy test."

"Why not? Honey, you might be putting yourself through this for nothing! Let's go get you a test and then you can take it for real this time! You should tell Nathan too."

"Tell Nathan what," Nate asked as he walked back in.

Brooke sighed, "I never took the pregnancy test."

Nathan immediately grew concerned. He took her into his arms, "why didn't you tell me that? Were you too scared to take it last night? You didn't want to be alone, right?"  
She nodded, "I would hate to be alone and have to do that."

"As soon as we get home, we're going to the pharmacy and then we'll find out once and for all," Peyton joined their little hug and Brooke could only sigh in relief.

"So when does the party start," Brooke finally asked.

"Oh no you don't," Nathan stopped her, "you're not drinking until we know for certain one way or another."

"Nate," she pouted.

He kissed her head and then Peyton, "not one drop until we know."

Brooke pouted even after Nate closed the bathroom door behind him. Peyton slung a hand over her shoulder, "it could be worse."

"How?"

"You could pregnant," Peyton reminded her before leaving.


	11. The Longest Night Pt3

8:30pm

"This is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen. Who knew a star basketball player would be so bad at mini golfing? Aren't all sports supposed to have common traits," Haley asked.

Luke scowled at her, reminding her of Nathan, and finally got the ball into the hole after the fifth time, "you know what Goldilocks, some people don't have time to practice everyday."

Haley just laughed more and it seemed to Lucas that when she wasn't trying to be anything other then herself, she was at her loveliest. He had opted to give Brooke and Nathan time alone because he believed that they would have a lot to talk about. He was worried that this would break them up. Lucas almost grinned, he was completely infatuated with the woman but he didn't want her to break up with Nathan. Was he a walking hypocrisy or what?

"What are you grinning about? And by the way I can totally call you Goldilocks too," she reminded him.

"You wouldn't dare insult my masculine sensibilities," Lucas replied.

This time Haley tossed all of her golden waves down her back and laughed out loud. When she could finally get control of herself and was about to tell Lucas he was full of shit, she was surprised to feel his warm body pressed close to hers. All laughter gone, she swallowed. Their eyes connected and time seemed to slow.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're gorgeous," he asked quietly.

She shook her head no, "but I've been called a host of worse names."

"I want to kiss you really bad, Haley James," he admitted.

"Because you can't have Brooke," she asked.

"Because you have beautiful blonde hair, and a huge smile, and I'm aching to know how you taste," he replied.

"Come find out," her whispered challenge was accompanied by two strong hands sliding down her back to settle on the small of her back and suddenly jerked her close before she tasted his lips for the very first time. Her last thought before her mind melted was that Lucas Scott could be a new addiction.

9pm

The party had really just started. The house they were at was part of the historical part of the city but the inside was fully modern complete with a loud stereo and a group of basketball players and cheerleaders from all over the state.

Peyton, Jake, Nate and Brooke were barely in the door when Bevin rushed forward, "we think Rachael drank too much all ready, she's up stairs puking. She asked for you."

Brooke looked at Nate who scooted her forward, "go ahead, she needs you. I'll be with Jake and Peyton."

She made her way to the second story bathroom and quietly let herself in. Rachael was sitting hunched in the corner of the bathroom, tears streaking down her face. When she saw Brooke she just shrugged, "what's wrong with me?"

"Nothing," Brooke immediately moved forward and wetted a wash clothe to blot on Rachael's face, "you're just still in shock, honey."

"How could I be so stupid? How could I get myself into this mess? I'm not a fucking virgin, I should've known better," she cried.

"Quiet down," Brooke told her. She wiped her eyes and then blotted her forehead, "that better?"

Rachael nodded, "do you think it'll all blow over after you take the test and it's negative?"

Brooke shrugged, "hopefully. No one else knows and I know the group won't say anything. A month from now no one will remember."

"What am I going to do," Rachael asked.

"That's a question only you can answer but I can tell you that I'll be by your side no matter what you choose."

"I can't have this baby," she finally said.

Brooke nodded, "who's the father?"

Rachael gulped hard, "I don't know. I think it happened one night after I got too drunk at the bar."

"Were you," Brooke had to swallow, "raped?"

She shrugged, "I don't remember."

"Oh God," Brooke pulled her friend close. Now more then ever she had to protect this secret. It wasn't that she didn't believe that her group could keep the secret but it was the fact that she had made a promise. Rachael had sworn her to secrecy and although Rachael wasn't as close to the group as she was to Brooke, she was still a friend. She wanted to tell Nate and the gang, she truly did, but her principles were ingrained too deeply. She had changed, for the better, and she wouldn't be going back to who she had been. She had made a promise and God help her she would keep it.

10pm

Lucas had left Haley in the kitchen to play beer pong with the other cheerleaders so he could get some fresh air. He took a seat on the back porch and looked out onto the docks. He hadn't seen a part of North Carolina that he hadn't loved yet.

"Hey," Brooke's voice broke him out of his thoughts. He looked down and to the left where a small stool was concealed by the winding porch. Brooke was sitting on the stool looking out at the same docks, a plastic cup in her hands.

"You're not drinking are you," Luke asked.

She grinned, "no, Nathan has been watching me like a hawk. This is orange juice."

He didn't move, just looked at her profile. She really was quite beautiful, everything he had never known he wanted in a woman but at the same time his mind was all ready starting to stray from her. She wasn't his and she never would be, and that was okay because she was his friend and he knew that she'd always be there for him.

"You make that sound like a bad thing. The guy is only going to be getting more protective of you in the next few months," Luke replied. He didn't remember much from ninth grade health class but he did know how a girl got pregnant, and how long she stayed pregnant.

"Luke," she turned to look at him, "I never took a pregnancy test. When we get back to Tree Hill Peyton and I are going to get one."

"Were you too scared," he asked.

Brooke wondered why everyone kept thinking that she was so damned afraid. She sighed, "I wouldn't want to do that alone."

"Why are you telling me," Luke asked.

She grinned, "because Nate and Peyton have kind of made this into a group epiphany. We'll all be there when the results come in."

"Are you okay with that? That sounds really personal, like only you and Nate should be there," Luke told her.

"I think that everything will turn out okay so I don't mind. Plus it's really not that uncomfortable for me. We've all seen each other at our worst. When Jake broke his arm in eighth grade he cried like a baby and we all stayed with him, when Peyton's goes to the cemetery we're with her, when Nate got beat really bad by Dan the one and only time we were all there. I guess it's only fair that everyone should see me pee on a dinky little stick."

"They've seen you at your worst," Luke replied. When she looked at him with an enquiring brow he continued, "they've seen who you used to be before you became the magnificent woman before me."

"Ah," she sighed with a grin, "you are a poet."

Luke laughed and pulled her until she was standing, "let's find the others and get you back to the hotel. You need your rest."

She rolled her eyes but stopped him suddenly, "you took what I said earlier seriously right? Don't underestimate Haley, she can burn you if you're not careful. Until I can crack her shell I don't trust her not to hurt you."

Before Lucas could reply Haley's voice came between them, "you warned him away from me?"

"Haley," Brooke was all ready making her way up the stairs toward her but Haley had made a b-line into the house.

Luke and Brooke finally caught up with her in the living room. They watched in horror as Haley pulled the plug to the stereo.

"Haley, what's going on," Nathan's voice came from across the room.

"You want to warn him away from me," Haley looked right at Brooke, "why don't you warn him away from yourself! You don't even know me anymore Brooke. You let me go, you let our friendship go the second you walked into Nathan's bedroom that day."

"Haley," Peyton tried to coax her down.

"No," she yelled and turned back to Brooke who stood in absolute shock, "you are the bad friend in this scenario. And the slut! That's right little miss, goody-two-shoes, captain of the cheer squad got herself pregnant!"  
The gasps were plenty. Everyone knew Brooke, if not as a cheerleader, then as a Davis and if not as that then as Nathan Scott's girlfriend.

"Haley," Brooke's eyes filled, "stop!"

Haley grabbed someone's drink and raised it above her head, "have a great life Brooke, I'd offer you a drink but that wouldn't be appropriate for someone in your condition."

She chugged the drink and stormed out of the house. The silence was deafening. Brooke looked around her and for the first time she could remember people were looking at her with disgust. Now she truly understood how Rachael felt. If Rachael decided to keep her baby she would get stares like this everyday.

"Oh God," she turned to Luke, who was as shocked as the rest of them, "go after her Luke. Make sure she's okay."

"No, I want to make sure you're all right," he was livid right now. He didn't understand Haley. She obviously loved Brooke like her sister, but she always managed to be at her worst around her.

Brooke cupped his cheek, "go! If you never do anything for me again, go make sure Haley is okay. She's hurt, I hurt her. This time it was my fault but I know she won't listen to me so you'll have to do me this favor."

He nodded curtly and waited until Nathan got through the crowd and had Brooke in his arms to shield her from their stares.


	12. The Path Toward Righteousness

The next morning as they rode back to Tree Hill the silence seemed to thicken with every mile. Everyone on the bus thought that Nathan and Brooke had made the worst mistake of their lives, that she was pregnant. Brooke realized that even if she did say that it wasn't her pregnancy test no one would believe her until a few months passed and she didn't get any bigger. Even then some people would spin the gossip wheel and call it a textbook abortion.

She sighed and leaned on Nathan's shoulder. He kissed her hair, "it'll be okay baby."

"I know," but they both heard the doubt in her voice.

Haley sat in the front of the bus staring straight ahead. She wasn't proud of what she had done, but she had been hurting. She couldn't believe that Brooke would warn Lucas away from her like she was some type of leper.

"You hurt her," Luke's voice was bittersweet.

"I hurt both of us," Haley admitted. Last night Lucas had caught up with her on the beach. Haley felt her heart quicken.

_Luke's hand grasped her upper arm and spun her around. The second his eyes saw her face his gaze softened. The tears that ran down her face took her mascara with it and her face was all red._

_"Haley," he only managed her name before she buried herself in his arms and took possession of his lips. Luke did have a fantastic mouth, it was warm and inviting with a trace of beer. He groaned deep within his throat and introduced her tongue to his._

"You two need to make up, Hales," his hand caressed the part of her throat exposed from her tee-shirt.

Haley nodded, it was time. She couldn't keep hurting Brooke because it always backfired. She almost snorted, hurting Brooke always ended up hurting her worse, it wasn't worth it.

"Yeah," she leaned back and let Lucas hold her weight, thinking that maybe one day she'd let him help with the baggage of her past and its sins.

9999

"Come on Davis," Jake knocked on Nathan's bathroom door again. Peyton and Brooke had locked themselves in the bathroom the moment they had gotten back from CVS.

Nathan grinned at his best friend, "I think you're confused. I'm supposed to be freaking out."

"Then freak out, will you! I won't freak out if I have to calm you down," Jake replied and knocked again.

"Jacob," Peyton's voice held a warning, "stop knocking for one second!"  
Jake took a step back from the door and looked at Nathan. Nathan's eyes had widened, "she called you Jacob."

"And did you hear her tone," Jake asked.

Nathan pulled a hand through his hair, "I'm scared."

"Don't be, borrowing trouble never helped anybody. Let's play some Madden until they get done," Jake suggested.

Finally, what seemed like hours later, Brooke and Peyton came out of the bathroom. Nathan didn't even bother to pause the game as he rose. Brooke smiled at him, "it was negative. I'm not pregnant."

"Thank God," before Nathan could even react Jake had Brooke in his arms and was spinning her around. He laid a big kiss onto her cheek and finally released her just to gather his girlfriend into his arms.

Nathan held Brooke tenderly and let go of a huge sigh, "if you had been pregnant I would have been with you every step of the way, but I'm glad you're not."

"Me, too," Brooke agreed. Now she would just have to ride out the storm that was sure to come at school.

9999

"So what do you do alone in this big house," Lucas asked. He was still taking in every detail of Haley's private studio. Apparently Haley was more serious about her music then anyone knew, "and when did you get this studio done?"

Haley lazed in the doorway with a half smile on her face. She liked the fact that Lucas didn't know everything about her, that she was still so new to him, "my parents send me an allowance once a month. One year when I spent most of my time living with Brooke at Nathan's house and Peyton at Jake's house I saved my money. The studio was created about two years ago. My parents haven't been home long enough since then to notice it."

"Wow, I don't think I've gone more then a few weeks without seeing my mom and that's only because I was at sleep away summer camp," Lucas explained as he plucked at a guitar.

Haley rushed forward, "be careful, she's a beauty."

"She?"

"Yes," Haley gave him a goofy grin, "her name is Lola and she is my pride and joy."

Luke put a warm hand on her hip and grinned, "you need to get out more if you're starting to name your instruments. Do you talk to them too?"

Haley playfully pushed him away, feeling completely light hearted, "don't make fun of me Lucas Scott!"

"Who's making fun? Okay, okay, I'm sorry," as they walked out of the studio Lucas stopped, "will you play for me one day?"

"I think I'll have to," she whispered.

He kissed her, again and again before pulling away, "just tell me…"

"Tell you what," she questioned, her lips mere inches from his.

He grinned, "tell me Lola doesn't talk back when you speak to her."

Haley pushed him away but she walked away laughing.

9999

Peyton laid with her head on Jake's chest the next morning, snuggling into him, enjoying the feeling of his arms around her. Sometimes when she allowed herself to think about the thoughts that plagued the outskirts of her mind, she wondered why Jake chose her. Was she dating a crazy man? Why would he choose a girl with such issues?

"Stop," Peyton glanced up at Jake. He had spoken to her but his eyes were closed and his breathing was still steady and normal beneath her ear.

"What," she wondered.

He finally opened his eyes, "whatever you're worried about, stop."

"You didn't even open your eyes, how do you know I'm worried," she asked.

His fingers trailed a path up her side that upped her temperature, "You think I need to have my eyes opened to know you're worried? I've loved you too long not to know."

Peyton's heart constricted, "how is it that you always manage to say what I want to hear?"

"Because," finally one of his fingers brushed the side of her breast, "you're my girl. That's my job and my pleasure."

"Oh, Jake," she moved up and kissed his lips tenderly. Inside she realized that this was how it should always be.

"Peyt," Peyton sat up abruptly when her bedroom door opened to reveal Haley.

"Oh my God," she turned so her back was to the couple, "I am so sorry. I should have realized Jake would be here."

"It's okay," Jake rose and pulled on his shorts. He pushed down his erection with one hand and moved toward the door, "I'll be in the living room playing the game."

When Peyton had Jake's shirt on, which hung close to her knees she sat on her bed crossed legged, "what's going on? Come here to gloat because you hurt Brooke?"

"No," Haley turned. She looked staunchly at her toes, "I came here to start my apologies."

"What," Peyton was just confused now.

"After Brooke caught me and Nathan you tried to reach out to me but I cut you off. I'm sorry for everything I said and the way I acted."

Peyton rose, her fists curled by her hips, "what's the game Haley? You'd better be done messing with us, and by us I mean everyone in my group. You have caused enough pain."

"I know I fucked up," Haley's eyes finally met Peyton's, "I'm trying to apologize for that now. I don't want your pity or your forgiveness, this is for me. I can't move on until I finish this."

"Move on to what," Peyton asked.

"Look Peyton, you tried to stay my friend, to keep our group together and I denied you. I'm sorry I let our friendship go, especially when it was obvious you needed the stability that we'd given each other forever. I'm sorry."

Peyton watched Haley turn and despite her intuition telling her to stop she grabbed Haley's wrist, "if you're apologizing because you're finally trying to be the girl I've always known you could be then you're forgiven. But if you're apologizing because it'll help you in some sort of sick twisted way that's going to hurt Brooke even worse then be ready to run. You don't want to know the sort of monster I can become when someone pushes my family too far…and Brooke is my family."

"I know," Haley whispered, Peyton nodded and released her hand.

As Haley walked past the living room where Jake was playing his X-box his soft voice stop her for one moment, "we missed you Hales."


	13. Don't Feed The Monsters In Your Head

**Tamarindo, thank you for your awesome reviews. I think you'll like this one ******

Brooke placed one foot out of her car and then the other. She turned to put her keys in her bag and rose. Everyone stopped. The court was full, buses were pulling away, yet everyone stopped. She could feel their eyes boring into her, seeing through her skin into her secret soul that very few people ever got to see. She took a deep breath, she would get through this day. She was Brooke Davis and she was strong.

As she walked through the halls she heard the insults, "whore! Slut! Stupid cheerleader!"

They wouldn't phase her, she was better then all of them. She would never judge any of them because of a mistake.

"Hey Brooke," Bevin smiled at her sheepishly, "we have to talk."

"What's up Bevin," Brooke asked tossing her hair back so her fringe wasn't in her eyes.

"We've named Haley the captain of the squad since you're obviously unable to cheer," Bevin told her.

"What? You can't just replace me like that without at least calling a meeting," Brooke told her. Inside her heart was breaking.

"We can and we did," Bevin argued.

"I'm not even pregnant," she growled.

"Okay," Bevin looked at Brooke's belly, "I may be a bit ditzy but I'm not blind."

Brooke watched her walk away before she looked down at her belly, before her very eyes her flat midriff grew. She felt the weight of the baby on her hips and lower back. She gasped in shock and placed a hand on her stomach. She wasn't huge, apparently only five or six months along but she had grown in a matter of seconds.

"That's the bell, Miss Davis, you better get going if you want to get to class on time," Principal Turner's voice pushed Brooke out of her thoughts.

"It's only right next door," Brooke told him absentmindedly.

"Waddling doesn't get you where you're going very fast," he reminded her before walking away.

Brooke made her way to her History classroom. She sat down but found that the desk wouldn't fit over her swollen tummy. She pushed a hand through her hair and held back her tears.

Her teacher was late and everyone was talking. She felt like she didn't belong, like an alien. She bit her bottom lip but when she heard his voice everything seemed better.

Nathan stood in the doorway, "what's wrong?"

Brooke was about to reply when Haley's voice sounded behind her, "nothing, just some trash taking up all the space in the classroom."

Brooke couldn't believe it until she saw him walk to Haley and kiss her. The kiss was almost exactly like the one she had witnessed before and it sliced into her heart just as deeply as the first time. She stood awkwardly, her nose flaring, "Nathan what the hell are you doing?"

Nate tensed and turned. He looked her over in complete disgust, "didn't we have this talk before? You're not supposed to talk to me in public. I told you that you're little brat wasn't mine!"

Shocked, Brooke put a hand to her stomach and felt a flutter within her. Her baby, her and Nathan's baby, had just moved. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Instead she grabbed her books and left the classroom.

"Don't come back, cow," Haley's words shook through Brooke's body as she tried to speed walk to the bathroom.

Inside the bathroom Peyton was washing her hands. Brooke leaned against the door, 'thank God, P. Sawyer. I don't know what's going on but Nathan was kissing Haley and apparently I got booted off the squad!"

"Look, I don't know what possessed you to talk to me but you should stop. Haley's my best friend, I don't owe any loyalty to you," Peyton pushed past Brooke which tipped her a bit too far. Brooke wasn't quite steady with the weight in her middle and fell. Peyton didn't even bother to help her up before she left.

Brooke spent a long moment on the floor, her hands splayed on her tummy. Her baby was kicking now. She felt so heartbroken, so tired. She just wanted to sleep. She managed to get herself up and made a bee-line for the parking lot. Whatever was going on it would all look better when she was better rested. She wasn't quite paying attention to where she was going and fell again. This time she sat for a long time. Her tears were threatening to drown her and she hadn't even shed them yet.

"Brooke," she felt a strong hand on her arm. She looked up and smiled at Jake. He helped her up and grabbed her bag, "here."

"Thanks, Jake," Brooke murmured.

"Go home, they'll massacre you if you stay," before she could ask what he meant he began running toward the school building.

Brooke waddled through the parking lot hoping not to run into anyone else but luck was not on her side. Lucas closed the door of his Mustang and walked toward her. Suddenly his kind face turned into a sneer, "you actually showed your face here? I don't know if that's courage or stupidity."

"Just get out of my way, Lucas," she spat out. She was tired, sick to her stomach, and her back ached.

"Don't act like a bitch," he told her.

"Get out of my way," she repeated. She placed her hands on her lower back, making her huge stomach even more prominent, "I don't know what the hell happened to the world but I'm over it."

"What happened," he laughed out loud, "was that you came into all of our lives."

Suddenly everyone was surrounding her, it was dark, there was a storm rolling in, she could feel the thunder shaking the ground. Lucas was still in her face, "you warned me away from her because you knew it would hurt her! Who's the bitch now? So perfect, aren't you? You're the idiot who got yourself in this situation!"

"Why do you always have to take control of every situation," Peyton's face was in front of Brooke's, "can't you manage to let people run their own lives? You have to be a part of everything! I wish you had died instead of my mother!"

Brooke gasped in shock. Before she could even process what her friend had told her she felt the first startling pain deep in her back, "Peyton!"

"What kind of friend are you? When was the last time we really sat down and talked," Jake asked quietly. His eyes were hooded, "you're supposed to be the little sister I never had. Do you ever even think about me? I used to worry about you…no more!"  
Haley sneered in her face, "well, well! There's the idiot cow who got herself in trouble. Did you think that you would win? I told you I'd get Nathan and I did. It wasn't because I went after him either, it was because you're a lying, cold bitch and he finally saw it. You dropped our friendship after one mistake, well I'm dropping you. Do you even remember what I was going through when you caught me and Nathan? Do you remember the night before? Of course not because in the blink of an eye you dropped a girl you had called sister less then twenty-four hours before. I win," she pushed Brooke and then grinned down at her, "you lose!"

Brooke sobbed, the pain in her back was only intensifying. It was moving to the bottom of her abdomen and she felt wet, stickiness between her legs. She shivered when she realized she was in labor, "oh God! Nathan!"

His face appeared in front of her, staring down at her with disgust, "how could you let this happen? Are you trying to ruin my life? I don't want anything to do with you or this bastard."

"Nathan," she reached a hand to him, "please! Help me!"

He turned his face, "you're not important to me anymore Davis. I'm throwing you away like you threw away your friendship with Haley. Like you threw me away. Did you think I wouldn't notice that you hold yourself back? You will never forgive me, but now I don't care."

"I forgive you, I forgave you long ago," Brooke cried out and squeezed her eyes shut in agony.

Nathan turned back his head and to Brooke's shock spit in her face. He disappeared and she was left on the ground, sobbing her pain into the night. The rain started and soon she was soaked and shaking. She clutched her stomach as the pain became more intense. Suddenly she felt the overwhelming need to push and as she felt the spill of life coming from her she tossed her head back and screamed.

8888

"Davis! Brooke, wake the fuck up," Nathan brutally shook his girlfriend until her eyes fluttered open. He looked into her eyes and groaned. It had been a long time since she'd had once of her epic nightmares. They still scared the fuck out of him.

"Nate," her body began to shake. Not little quivers but the shakes that started in her fingers and moved up until she was thrashing around in his arms. Nathan wiped away her tears as they fell in torrents.

After a few moments Nathan pressed his lips to her forehead, "you have to breathe, baby. You have to calm down, you're going to make yourself sick."

"Oh God," she managed to sit up. Nathan quickly carried her to the bathroom and held her hair as she vomited uncontrollably into the toilet. He didn't know what had triggered this episode but he did know it was one of the worst nightmares she'd ever had.

Nathan gently moved her to the wall and started the shower. He didn't bother to pull off his shorts or her tee-shirt. He thrust her under the hot water and stood behind her to support her. After a while her shivering slowed, "what was it about?"

"I was pregnant and you were so mad. Haley told me I gave up on our friendship without a fight," she didn't want to go into detail, it would just hurt him.

Nathan helped her pull the shirt off and then massaged soap into her back, "Haley doesn't love me, she never did. Not the way you do. You gave up on a girl who betrayed your trust, but we both know you would have forgiven her if she hadn't of went off the deep end and started acting like a bitch."

Brooke almost smiled. Nathan wasn't very forgiving when someone caused her pain, "she's hurting Nathan. I did give up too easily. I need to find out what happened."

"What you need to do is get some sleep," he reminded her, "it's only three."

"I don't want to face everyone," Brooke admitted.

"I'll be with you every step of the way," he promised.

Later that morning Brooke had to run home to change because all of her close had been dropped off at her house by the dry cleaning agency she used.

"I'll meet you at school, at our parking spots," he told her.

She kissed him good bye and left to get ready for school. As he was getting ready to leave to meet Brooke his kitchen door opened. He put down the carton of orange juice he'd been about to drink out of, "Haley."

88888

Brooke looked at her watch again. It was getting really late, classes would start in a few minutes. She had tried to call Nathan but he wasn't picking up. As much as she wanted him by her side she couldn't wait forever.

Brooke placed one foot out of her car and then the other. She turned to put her keys in her bag and rose. Everyone stopped. The court was full, buses were pulling away, yet everyone stopped. She could feel their eyes boring into her, seeing through her skin into her secret soul that very few people ever got to see. She took a deep breath; she would get through this day. She was Brooke Davis and she was strong.


	14. Forgiveness For Sale

"What do you want? You know what," Nathan held up his hand, "I don't want to know. I'm not interested in being your pawn to hurt Brooke again."

Haley stepped into the kitchen and quietly closed the door behind her. Her hazel eyes connected with Nathan's eyes, "I'm sorry."

Nathan's sneer dropped to open mouthed surprise, "what?"  
"You were one of my best friend's forever and you're right, I used you. I'm not sure that I ever loved you. I hazard even to say that I was capable of loving anyone."

"Why the sudden change of heart? It's barely been a day since you publicly humiliated me and Brooke."

"Lucas," she shrugged with her own look of incredulousness.

Nathan took one menacing step toward Haley. He hadn't been raised to harm a girl but Haley was pushing him. First using him, then hurting Brooke and now she was freely admitting that she was fucking with Lucas.

"Stay away from my brother," he hissed.

Haley took a step back, "he looks at me and he doesn't see the bitch that tried to steal the king from his queen. He doesn't see tutor girl, or even Haley James. He sees my soul and he likes it."

"I don't trust you. I offered you back a small friendship when I asked you to tutor me not even two weeks ago and you tried to use me again. I want you to stay the hell away from my brother, from my girlfriend, from my friends and from me. Now get the hell off my property before I call the police!"

Haley stood her ground, "I just came to apologize, Nathan."

"I don't care why you came here," as Haley turned to leave he called her name. When she turned his sneer was back in place, "remember what I said."

909

Peyton walked into school an hour late. She had spent a significant portion of her morning still mulling over Haley's words. Peyton hadn't known Lucas for very long but Brooke had a knack for seeing the real person and she obviously liked what she saw when she looked at Lucas or she wouldn't keep him so close. Maybe Lucas could heal their broken relationships.

"You're late," Jake's arms snuggly wrapped around her waist. He kissed her temple and walked behind her before moving to the side to toss a lazy arm over her shoulder.

"I know, I was just thinking," she replied.

Jake sighed, "I saw Luke earlier, he said that Haley had talked to Nathan this morning and now she wasn't picking up her phone."

"I honestly can't find it in my heart to care just yet. I've spent a significant portion of time despising what she's done, so it's hard to stop now," Peyton admitted.

"I think she was just looking for redemption. That's admirable, especially under the circumstances."

"Something just doesn't ring true," she mentioned and pulled open her locker, "not even a day before she came to my house she embarrassed the heck out of Brooke. Is it even possible to change that quickly?"

"Maybe it's been a long time coming," he suggested. The bell rang, Jake looked up and then grinned, "come on, I'll walk you to Calc."

909

By the time lunch came around Nathan had just finished being yelled at by his coach for being tardy, yet again. He was in search of Brooke. He assumed she had gone in on her own and felt bad because he had promised to be by her side.

"Hey, Jake," Nathan tapped his shoulder and then sat beside him, "have you seen Brooke?"

"Actually she was just here a few minutes ago. She was acting kind of weird. She asked me if I could remember the last time we really talked and then we sat here forever just talking, you know? It was nice but she was definitely acting strange."

Nathan blew out a sigh, "I promised to be with her today but I got caught up."

"Yeah, Luke told me that Haley came to see you. She swung by Peyton's on Sunday and asked for forgiveness."

"Did Peyton kick her teeth down her throat," Nate asked.

Jake laughed, "no, but she let her know what would happen if she was just trying to hurt you and Brooke again. That girlfriend of mine is scary when she wants to be."

"Mine too, if you get her peeved enough," he sighed again, "I told her to stay away from all of us. She said that Lucas was the reason she was changing, that he could see her true self and yada yada! I don't know! All I know is that I want her to stay away from all of us."

"Listen man, when Brooke caught you and you knew you were in the wrong, what would you have done if she hadn't forgiven you," Nathan scowled at the question. Jake played with his watch, "all I'm saying is that even when the crime seems unforgivable, you just have to…forgive."

909

Luke tapped his foot in agitation. He had been texting and calling Haley all morning and she still hadn't replied. They had both known that her talking to Nathan probably wouldn't go well that's why he had told her to wait it out until a better time, when his wounds weren't as fresh. She had disagreed and he did understand why. It was the band-aid theory. If you pull it off fast it doesn't hurt as much, apparently she had been wrong.

"Are you listening to a song in your head or are you just irritated," Peyton whispered. Their study hall teacher was really strict about silence for at least half the period.

"The latter," he replied. He looked over the blond before going on, "Haley went to talk to Nathan this morning."

"I know, Jake told me," she remarked.

"I'm worried. We knew Nathan would be one of the hardest to make amends with."

"Try the hardest," Peyton corrected. At Lucas' look of confusion she continued, "Brooke has been looking for an excuse to forgive her forever. Brooke wants to be on team Haley but Haley hasn't let her. Nathan is like a wolf, he wants to protect his mate from everything, even if it means taking out the female trying to take over her spot. He'll never forgive Haley for using him to hurt Brooke. She could've done anything she wanted to him and he would have eventually forgiven her, but the second her actions caused him to hurt Brooke she lost any chance."

"He's a good guy he has to forgive her," Luke told her. He hadn't known his brother for too long but he knew that he had a good heart.

Peyton shook her head sadly, "he'll forgive her the day he forgives himself."

"Shit," Lucas banged his hands on the table startling everyone around him. He wanted the Haley he'd seen to finally come out. He wanted the group he'd grown so close with to accept her again. According to Peyton that didn't seem likely until Nathan forgave Haley. Suddenly Luke had a thought, if there was one person on the planet who could make Nathan change his mind it was Brooke. If he wanted the group to accept Haley, which would only happen with Nathan's approval, then he had to get Brooke on team Haley. And for Haley to agree with it.


	15. Those Who Live In Glass Houses

Nathan finally caught up with Brooke outside of the gym before their respective practices. She was surprised to see him, he could tell because she wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him hard, "I was worried something happened to you!"  
"No, I got held up," he backed up just a bit and pushed her hair out of her face, "Haley stopped by this morning."

Brooke's eyes widened slightly, "okay?"  
"She asked for forgiveness but I kind of told her to stuff it," he admitted.

Her eyes softened, "you're such a nerd. Why did you do that?"

"I don't trust her and she admitted that she's interested in Lucas!"

"I thought as much," Brooke nodded more to herself then to Nathan, "if there is anyone who is capable of fixing this fine mess we've gotten ourselves into its Luke. He has a good heart, just like you. You're bigger then that Nathan. We all make mistakes."

"I'm not interested in forgiving Haley. I want her to stay away from all of us, most especially you and Luke. She even asked Peyton and Jake for forgiveness and Peyton threatened her too," Nathan told her.

Brooke looked at her watch, "we have to go."

They walked hand in hand until they were outside the two doors, one leading to the boys locker and the other to the girls locker. Nathan kissed her lips, "was this morning terrible?"  
"Yeah," she nodded, "but I got through it. I don't owe anybody any explanations but I will explain the situation to the squad because they should know the truth. As for the rest of the school, they can say what they want. I'm strong."

Nathan looked her over as if seeing her for the first time. He realized that she was strong. Everyone in the group liked to think Brooke was the weakest because they liked to baby her, but Brooke was slowly letting everyone know that she was strong all on her own.

"I love you Davis," he told her.

She winked, "and I love you too Scott!"

811

"Okay girls," Brooke looked over her girls. They were sitting on the bleachers looking at her, some of them seemed to have their gazes fixated on her tummy. She tried not to notice that Haley was missing, "everyone was at that party on Saturday. I'm going to say this once and only once, so listen good. I did go to Walgreens on Friday night and I did buy a pregnancy test. I did take a pregnancy test on Sunday morning. I am not pregnant."

"Thank God," Bevin sighed out, "how would you have been a cheerleader with a big ol' baby bump?"  
Brooke grinned, "it doesn't matter now. It's a moot point. I hope everyone is willing to move on now."

The girls nodded and Peyton winked at her. Brooke nodded then clapped her hands, "all right then, let's stretch!"

The guys on the basketball team began to move to their portion of the gym. Brooke hadn't even realized that they had been crowding around to hear her news.

"Good job, Nate," one of the guys told him.

Nathan nodded with a grin. Suddenly Lucas came to his side, "what did you say to her?"

He didn't pretend not to know what Lucas was talking about, "I told her to stay away from us, all of us."

"Man," Luke sighed, obviously agitated.

"Look, you don't know her. She's conniving, she'll use you and hurt you without any remorse," Nathan tried to explain.

"No, you're the one who doesn't know her. When was the last time you talked to her? I know that you got tutored by her, but Nathan when was the last time you _really_ talked to her? Did you ever even try to figure out why she turned on Brooke?"

Nathan couldn't say anything. His brother was getting upset, it was obvious. A thought crept into Nathan's head, he took a step forward and whispered, "do you _like_ her? Seriously?"

Luke refused to answer mostly because he wasn't sure. Everything seemed to have happened so fast. One second he was pining after a girl he couldn't have the next he was intrigued and kissing the girl's mortal enemy.

"I don't know," he finally answered.

"Scott and Scott, let's go," Whitey's voice yelled over.

With one last heated gaze the brother's ran toward the team to begin practice.

811

Practice wound to a close but Brooke was waiting until all the girls left to lock up the locker room. Peyton walked to her, "are we still on for tonight?"

"Yeah, we'll be there," Brooke replied with a wink. She watched Peyton leave and then smiled as Rachael walked toward her, "how's it going buddy?"

"Well I've been yacking like no one's business, my tits feel like rocks and I don't think I've had this much gas since my brilliant idea to go on a wheat grass and beans diet," she replied.

Brooke scrunched her nose, "I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yeah, actually," Rachael walked close to her, "I have an appointment on Thursday morning."

"What time? I'll pick you up," Brooke told her.

Rachael's eyes teared up almost immediately but she hastily blinked them back, "did I mention the hormones?"

"Come here," Brooke pulled her close for a quick hug, "everything is going to be fine. I will be by your side every step of the way."

"Okay," Rachael took a deep breath and pulled back, a fake smile plastered on her face, "I'll call you later, okay?"

"Yeah," Brooke watched her friend walk away and felt her heart ache for her. She didn't realize how long she had been standing there until she felt Luke come up to stand beside her, "hey, Luke, I heard about what Nate told Haley, is she okay?"

He shrugged, "she won't pick up her phone. Any idea where she would be?"

"The Haley I used to know would be locked up in her studio baring her soul," Brooke replied.

Luke shook his head in disbelief, how come he hadn't thought of that, "thanks, Brooke."

As he was speed walking to the exit Brooke called out to him, "are you coming to Peyton's tonight?"

"If everything goes all right then yeah, I'll be there."

"Call me," she called as the door closed behind him.

"Where was he going," Nathan's voice sounded behind her.

Brooke look up at her sweating boyfriend, "to the studio."

Nathan shook his head, "I told him that he couldn't trust her. You think he'd trust his brother over her."

"Nate, I told him where to find her," Brooke admitted.

"What," he sounded very surprised, "I told you that I didn't want her around him!"

"He is a grown man, Nate. Plus, I don't think she's that bad. Treachery isn't contagious, it's a choice," she told him.

"That's great," he threw up his arms in anger. He stepped toward her but still ended up yelling, "she is going to screw with him the way she screwed with us! Do you want that for him? You say you like him, I know you must love him if you've allowed him into the group, so why are you helping him get his heart broken? You know she is just going to hurt him!"

"No," she yelled back, "I don't know that!"

"Damn it," he threw down his duffle bag, "why do you have to be so God damned stubborn? You can't save everyone Brooke! Some people are just bad, and no matter how much you want them to be good they just aren't!"

"But she's not bad Nathan, maybe a little misguided but not bad. She is hurting. She lost her best friends, her social group, her reputation and everything else she's ever known because of a mistake. Show a little pity for Christ's sake!"

"I do have pity, you'll see plenty of it when I'm helping my brother scrape his heart off the floor after she gets done trampling over it. And you'll see it again the day she decides to hurt you again and you're not prepared for it!"

Brooke turned away from him, "this is the bottom line Nathan: Lucas wants to be with Haley, even if it's just as a friend, I want to be her friend again and you need to get over it. Everyone deserves a second chance!"

"Well don't come crying to me when she stabs all of you in the back again," he snatched his duffle bag off the floor and marched toward the door.

"I won't," she yelled as he slammed the door. She stood there for a long time, until the janitor turned off the lights. As she stood in the dark she grabbed for her bag, "shit!"

811

"You guys want to talk about it," Peyton asked as she looked from Nathan to Brooke. Nathan was lounging on the chaise of her living room, a scowl on his gorgeous face. Brooke was sitting cross legged in the lounge chair, her arms crossed over her chest.

Jake grinned, ignoring them, "is Lucas coming?"

Nathan shrugged and Brooke rolled her eyes at her boyfriend. Peyton grinned, "then we may be having a double feature if the vote is tied. Our choices are _The Patriot_ or _The First Wives' Club_."

"Patriot," Nathan mumbled but gave Peyton a small smile.

She grinned back, "I vote _The First Wives' Club_."

"The Patriot," Jake voted.

Normally Brooke would vote for the action flick just so she was sure it wasn't a movie she wanted to see because she wanted to make out with Nathan. But she wasn't feeling like making out, "I guess it's a tie."

"Hey guys," Lucas came in without knocking, as most of Peyton's friends did.

"_The Patriot _or _The First Wives' Club_," Jake asked.

"The first," Luke replied.

Before Peyton could say anything Haley came around from behind him, "I vote for _The First Wives' Club_."

…to be continued


	16. Redemption

**AFTER PRACTICE- MONDAY**

Lucas parked in front of Haley's house but waited a moment before going inside. She would probably be upset and he didn't know how he would handle that. He didn't have all that much experience with crying and/or angry girls.

He approached the door wearily and knocked, when no one answered he decided to open the unlocked door. He walked through the first floor and when she was no where to be seen he crept up the stairs. Haley had said that her parents were never home but he would hate to have the first time he met them be the same moment her father beat the hell out of him thinking he was an intruder.

Lucas stopped in front of the studio door and looked in. Haley was sitting on a stool in the recording booth, playing her keyboard, "…I've become much too good at being invisible/ I'm an expert at play it safe and keep it cool/ But I swear this isn't who I'm meant to be/ I refuse to let my life roll over me/ Let me feel/ I don't care if I break down/ Let me fall/ Even if I hit the ground/ And if I cry a little/ Die a little/ At least I know I lived…"

"That is really good," Lucas whispered.

Haley looked up in surprise before rising, "what are you doing here?"

"You wouldn't pick up your phone," he held up his own cell phone, "I was worried."

She turned off her keyboard. He realized immediately that she wouldn't meet his eyes, "you shouldn't have come here Luke. I talked to Nathan he told me to stay away from you. He said I wasn't trustworthy, and I think he may be right."

"What are you talking about? You're trying to make everything right, that's admirable," Luke argued.

"Yeah, I guess but it might be best if I stay away from them," Haley told him.

"By them do you mean me," he gently grabbed her arm before she could walk past him.

Haley tossed her honey blond hair back and stared into his light blue eyes, "yeah, I guess I do. I'm no good Luke. I hurt the people I love and I hurt myself. That can't be normal or right."

"Then change Haley, you make it seem like you can't redeem yourself!"  
"I can't," she replied.

"Of course you can. Nothing is so horrible that you can't be redeemed. Brooke wants to forgive you, she's been trying for a while now. Why won't you let her?"

Haley pulled away from Luke, "just go, Luke."

"What aren't you telling me Hales," he asked.

Her wide hazel eyes seemed to open for just one moment. More then anything she had ever wanted before Haley wanted to tell him. Her body ached with the stress of holding it in for so long. She sat down in one of the two swivel chairs in the production portion of the studio, "sit down Luke. I need to tell someone."

Lucas sat, his eyes never leaving hers, "okay?"

She took a deep breath and started from the beginning. As her story ended she finally looked Lucas in the eye, "…you know the rest."

Lucas barely took a full breath before he was out of his chair and dragging Haley into his arms, "oh my God."

Haley nodded as her tears soaked his tee-shirt, it wasn't just hers to carry anymore. Lucas had taken the weight and was going to bear it with her forever.

909

**MONDAY NIGHT MOVIE- PEYTON'S HOUSE**

"Well this is uncomfortable," Peyton mumbled. Haley and Lucas were standing hand-in-hand in the doorway of her living room. Brooke was looking surprised out of her mind, Nathan looked pissed and Jake was just grinning. She almost rolled her eyes, when most other people had a deep, insightful emotion Jake was just smiling…God, she loved him!

"Haley," Brooke rose.

Before either girl could say anything Nathan was in front of Brooke, "get the hell out of here Haley!"

"Nathan," Brooke put a hand on his back, "stop!"

"Nathan," Jake was rising now also, because his best friend was obviously very tense.

"Get the fuck out of here," Nathan reiterated this time his voice was low and menacing.

Luke stepped forward, standing in front of Haley. Everyone in the room took that in. No one thought anything of Nathan pulling the protective stance on Brooke, but Lucas doing it to Haley signified that there was something going on between them. Peyton arched an eyebrow in surprise, "Nathan, she is welcome in my house. As long Brooke is okay with it."

Every eye in the room turned to Brooke, but she was only looking into one dark blue set. She wouldn't be put on the spot like this with two very testosterone filled Scotts protecting their respective women. Putting her hands on her hips she looked around, "Peyton, Jake, Haley stay here. Lucas, Nathan, kitchen, now!"

As the door was swinging closed behind Brooke she heard Haley utter, "very uncomfortable."

Both guys were standing toe-to-toe, fist curled at their sides. Brooke rolled her eyes, "not that I don't love to see two young, sexy, Scotts argue but both of you are at arms for reason that haven't even been discussed yet."

"I told him in plain English that I didn't want Haley around you and he deliberately brought her here when he knew you would be here," Nathan quickly glanced at Brooke but his gaze burned into her, "I'll tolerate a lot of shit, but I won't tolerate you being in a situation where you could get hurt if I can help it."

Brooke's gaze softened, but only for a moment, "you're such an ape, Nate, and I love you for it. But that's no reason to get in the poor girl's face and swear at her."

"I don't care what your reasons are but I do know that you'd better stay out of her face," Lucas told him.

"Oh, shit," Brooke heard Peyton mutter from the door.

"You gonna make me," Nathan asked.

"You'll find out won't you little brother," Luke's sneer was almost identical to Nathans'.

"Boys," Brooke got in between them and pushed them until her hands were on both of their chests, her arms as far apart as possible, "Nathan James and Lucas Eugene!"

"James," Lucas asked with an arch of his eyebrow.

"Eugene," Nathan almost snickered.

"How did you know my middle name," Lucas asked her.

"I'm Brooke Davis," she told him with a shrug, "I know both of you are really mad right now but I can only think of one way to resolve this and it requires both of you to be willing to listen and communicate with something other than your fists."

"What do you say," Luke asked his brother.

Nathan looked into Brooke's eyes and knew he was lost the moment she pouted and whispered, "please."

"Fine!"

909

"This is so much better then a movie! It's been so long since we've had a real meeting," Peyton grinned around her dining room table.

Jake finished pouring everyone their glasses of wine and sat across from Peyton. He was an avid fan of Battle Ship so he could only take notice of the strategic way that the table kept everyone apart. The table was rectangular. Nathan and Luke sat at the ends, Peyton and Brooke were sitting side by side and he was sitting beside Haley. He and Brooke were closer to Nathan and Haley was closer to Luke. He nodded to himself, very strategic, Brooke was good.

"Okay, Haley, go ahead," Brooke took Nathan's hand and squeezed gently, "we're listening."

Haley look at Lucas, he nodded so she took a deep breath, "I made a lot of mistakes. One of the biggest was that I took my spot in this group, my relationships with all of you for granted and betrayed all of you."

When she hesitated Lucas gave her a small smile, "go ahead."

"I was jealous of you Brooke. I thought I could find a measure of peace if I were you; If I had your boyfriend, and your squad position."

"Why," Peyton shook her head at Brooke's question. The girl would never know how many girls wanted to be her, were jealous of her, "you're an A-student, a singer, a tutor with a brighter lit future then mine."

"But I wasn't a Davis, I wasn't as rich, as fashionable, as quirky," Haley wouldn't meet Brooke's eyes, "I wasn't the queen of Tree Hill High."

Brooke closed her mouth, she had been introduced to people in other social circles as the queen of Tree Hill High so she really couldn't dispute Haley's accusation.

"Somewhere in my mind the idea formed that if I had Nathan all of my problems would go away. When you caught us, the very second, I knew that I had hurt you and I was sorry."

"Then why did you try again a few weeks ago if you knew you were wrong back then," Nathan asked.

Haley's eyes held steadfast to Nathans', "because I still wasn't convinced I was wrong."

"Why did you out Brooke at the party," Peyton asked.

"Because I had just found out that she warned Lucas away from me," Haley admitted.

"You bitched at me because I warned him away," Nathan questioned Brooke.

"No you also threatened Haley, I told Lucas to be careful," Brooke looked at Haley, "I wanted to believe in you but until I was sure I didn't want Lucas to take a chance on getting hurt."

"I understand," Haley agreed. Under the table Lucas held her hand firmly in his was squeezing it gently, "I was hurt that you would think I could hurt him."

"You've known us for years and you hurt us," Nathan pointed out.

"Don't act like I was the only one, Nathan," Peyton and Brooke snuck a look at one another. Finally the Haley they knew was coming out. The out spoken, blunt and always up for a debate Haley, "it takes two to tango and you certainly weren't pushing me away!"  
"I think it's about time you two tell us exactly what happened," Peyton told them and then took a big gulp of her wine to prepare herself.

Nathan looked over to Brooke, "are you okay?"

The moment Peyton had said her words Brooke had paled. They were going to be reliving her version of hell. Was she okay? Not really.

"Yeah, let's just get this over with."

Peyton slid Brooke's glass closer to her, "take a sip, B. Davis, I think you're going to need it."

"I guess it started two months before you caught us," Haley began, there was only one pair of eyes she could look into as she told this story. Lucas nodded slightly, "I had been tutoring Nathan in Math for a few weeks formally. We usually met at his house so it was pretty much the harmless flirting that we all did. Then one day we went to my house because Dan and Deb were fighting. I admit that I initiated the kiss but he deepened it. From that day until the day you caught us, except for a few days, we met and made out."

"Two months," Brooke turned her face to look at Nathan, "everyday for two months?"

Nathan nodded, "I'm sorry."

"Maybe you should tell your side," Jake whispered. The look on Brooke's face practically paralyzed him. He had seen that look the day she had come to his house a wreck, barely a few minutes after seeing Nathan and Haley together. She hadn't told him what had happened but he didn't need to know. He had just held her.

"She had been tutoring me," Nathan began but then stopped to swallow all of his wine and allowed Jake to pour him more, "it had been around the time we had been fighting everyday. You were acting like a bitch and I was acting like an asshole. You were so heartbroken because your parents had just set up shop in L.A. and told you that you couldn't come. I was pissed all the time because Dan was pushing me constantly and you remember the day he beat me."

"Yeah, I remember. I swore I'd kill him myself if he ever laid a hand on you again," she nodded.

"Haley was supportive and she didn't pick fights all the time. The day she kissed me was the day after we got into that blow out because you had just humiliated some girl who spilt something on your skirt or something. I called you a bitch and you flipped out and slapped the fuck out of me."

"And you put your fist through a window," Peyton remembered that fight.

Nathan nodded, "she kissed me and I kissed back. She told me she loved me and she was calm and seemed like she really just wanted to chill. Not to be one half of the most popular couple on campus."

"Is that what you think you meant to me? What us being together meant to me," she asked.

"At the time, yes."

Brooke took another sip of her wine and waited for him to continue, "the things she said were so nice. I admit that for a small amount of time I thought that being with you was a mistake, that Haley and I were better together. Then you caught us and I looked at her, ready to tell you that we were done but I didn't see love in her eyes anymore. I saw satisfaction in the fact that she had hurt you. And then I saw the love in your eyes, the pain from my betrayal, and I knew that you were it for me."

Peyton gently rubbed Brooke's back, "you okay, Davis?"

"Did you fuck," her question shocked everyone. Her voice didn't seem right, Lucas thought. When she looked up her eyes were hard and he had a quick glance of the Brooke Davis they had all known before.

"Brooke-" Haley began.

"Did you or didn't you," she asked staunchly.

"What do you want? All of the sordid details," Nathan asked, clearly irritated.

"Yes," Brooke's voice rose, "did you fuck her?"

"No," he told her.

Her eyes softened immediately, pain replacing the hard armor she had covered her heart in. Haley finished Nathan's sentence, "we never ever had sex."

"Thank God for small favors," Peyton muttered.

"What did you hope to accomplish by apologizing to everyone," Jake asked the unasked question.

Haley gave Lucas a small smile, "I want to move on. I'm so tired of being the willing whipping boy for this group. You guys don't even know it, but I've been punishing myself. Hurting Brooke just backfires because I, the 'smart' one, never saw the closeness of our relationship having any bearing on what I did to her. Every single time I hurt you I hurt myself ten times as bad."

"I know, that's why I didn't understand why you were doing it," Brooke admitted.

Peyton looked at Nathan, "what do you think Nate?"

He hadn't taken his eyes off of Brooke since she had asked her question, "I'm so sorry Brooke. I fucked up. Haley's right, it does take two. I thought she was the one but she isn't. You are, you always have been."

Brooke cupped his cheek, her eyes full of tears, "if you ever feel that way again I need you to tell me, no matter how hard it'll be. I want to be the girl for you Nathan. I love you so much."

"I'm sorry," he repeated and this time twin tears accompanied his words.

"I'm sorry too," Haley agreed and then she was crying too.

Lucas gently rubbed Haley's cheek. Peyton nodded, "so now what?"

Brooke rose and kissed Nathan's mouth, "both of you are forgiven. Haley," she waited until she had her friend's attention, "you are forgiven. Now prove me right and become the girl that this group has always known you could be."

909

The next day dawned gray and windy. Everyone had gone home after that enlightening discussion. Peyton had spent the night just sitting with Jake, finishing the few glasses of wine left. Brooke and Nathan had talked, really talked. Lucas had spent the night at Haley's place. They hadn't had sex but they did kiss before they fell asleep in each other's arms.

"Something doesn't ring true," Brooke murmured to Peyton as they walked toward the cafeteria.

Peyton nodded, "she's not telling us something."

"I don't know how to approach her though. We just had this huge discussion last night and yeah I forgave her but she won't be willing to talk to me, or you, just yet."

"What we need to do is get to her," Peyton opened a bag of chips and stuffed one into her mouth.

"But how," Brooke wondered.

"Hey, ladies," Lucas smiled as he walked toward the table where Haley was all ready sitting on her end.

"Lucas," both girls said at the same time, each one grinning.

"I'm so glad it's lunch time, I am so hungry," Brooke announced as she sat at the table.

"I'm famished," Peyton agreed.

"All those heart-to-hearts," Jake explained.

Nathan looked down the table where Lucas and Haley were sitting. To everyone's surprise at the long table of basketball players and cheerleaders he called down, "yo, Luke, you two coming up here or what? We saved you seats."


	17. Author's Note III

Hey, everyone! Thanks for reading, I hope you're getting a lot out of this fic. It has been a blast to write. Anyway, I wanted to write and acknowledge the odd note that I left the last chapter on. It has a purpose and I think you'll all be entertained by the coming chapters. Stick with it and review when you can!

Thanks

-Liz


	18. There Are Pieces Missing In My Soul

Thursday morning dawned worse then Wednesday. There was a quiet rumbling and the day wasn't bright in the least. Brooke lay on her back, looking out of the window beside the bed in Nathan's bedroom.

"What are you looking at," Nathan asked her.

Brooke smiled as he pulled her close, wrapping an arm around her waist and dragging a heavy thigh over her legs, "the weather is so gray. I wonder if the sun will ever come out again."

He snuggled softly on her cheek, "baby, don't you know you're my sun?"

"Oh, good answer," her turned her head and kissed him.

000

"Rach," Brooke called up the stairs of Rachael's house. Like most of the rest of them, her parents were absentees, but she was lucky enough to get a heavy allowance like Brooke.

"Hey," Rachael walked out of her kitchen. She was wearing a pair of sweats and a tee-shirt, "you're early."

"I figured you might want to get this over with," she shrugged, but her eyes were studying Rachael.

"I do. I just want this to be a distant memory," as they left the house and Rachael got into the passenger side of Brooke's car she pulled her hair back, "so how did the meeting go?"

"Nathan finally forgave Haley. It was hard but I think hearing the whole story, him telling the whole story, helped him to forgive himself. I knew he was trying to make it up me everyday but I didn't realize that he hadn't forgiven himself. I love him, I just want him to be happy," Brooke told her.

"He is happy. Any fool could see that Nathan is a completely different, happier person when you're close to him. I just hope all of you know what you're doing with Haley."

"You never saw her before the whole falling out," Brooke reminded her.

"That's true, but I have seen her be nothing but nasty to you. The entire I've been here Haley has berated you, looked down on you and acted completely superior. I don't care how close you guys were in the past I don't trust it."

Brooke nodded, her attention on the road, "I have to give her this chance Rachael. She and I were too close for too long for me not to give her this. Plus I think she seriously wants to move on. My only issue is that she said she only went after Nathan because she was jealous. I don't believe that, Haley was never one to be jealous."

"Seriously," Rachael had seen Haley be nothing nut jealous since moving to Tree Hill.

"Before you knew her she was wrapped up in her own life, when we could pry her out of the studio she was still seeing music notes in her head. I can't put my finger on it but suddenly she changed."

Brooke thought about the years that they had been friends before the whole fiasco. All she could really remember was that one day Haley had changed, she had been acting like she had a secret. In her nightmare Haley had asked if she remembered the night before Brooke had caught her with Nathan. As a matter of fact Brooke would never forget that conversation. But suddenly she did remember the nonverbals Haley had been giving out, the hints that something more was going on.

"Shit," Brooke hissed. She wanted nothing more then to go home and write down every memory she had of that night.

"What," Rachael asked.

She took a deep breath, "this whole situation just sucks. Let's get you through this."

"Thanks again," Rachael took Brooke's free hand and held onto it. Brooke didn't mention how sweaty it was or the fact that it was shaking uncontrollably.

000

Two and a half hours later Brooke began to write down her memory of that night. Rachael was sleeping soundly in Brooke's bed because the doctor had told her to take her prescribed pain pills and had warned her she would be extremely drowsy.

Brooke knew that she had caught them on a Friday because she had rushed over to Haley's house after practice to see why she hadn't been there. So the night before would have been Thursday. On Thursdays Brooke tended to spend time alone with Haley because Thursday was Jake's family dinner and Peyton usually attended with him.

"_Hey, tutor-girl! What was up with you at practice, you seemed so off! We have reputations to protect my cute little friend. It is imperative for all of us to be on point," Brooke walked into Haley's room talking. Haley slammed her notebook closed and pushed it beneath her pillow while quickly wiping at her tears. Brooke stopped immediately, "what happened? What's wrong?"_

"_Nothing," Haley sniffed, "I'm just…you know, stressed with midterms and my parents."_

"_Oh, Haley, don't let your absentee parental unit get you down. If they don't want to be around then it's their loss," Brooke wrapped an arm around her friend, hoping to make her feel better._

_Haley nodded, "what's up anyway? Where's Nate?"_

"_He crashed Jake's family dinner but you know Mrs. J didn't care, Nathan is like her third son," Brooke grinned, "just like you're the second daughter of Deb and Dan's."_

_Haley's tentative smile fell, so Brooke asked the question that had been on her mind, "Haley you've seemed different lately. Is something going on that you want to talk about?"_

"_No," her answer was altogether too quick._

"_Hales, don't lie, give me all the sordid details. Is there a boy," Brooke asked._

"_You should call Nate, I'm sure he's done with dinner by now," Haley suggested._

_The thought crept up, ugly and terrifying in Brooke's head, "Haley…is something going on between you and Nathan?"_

"_No," Haley replied easily, "I've got a guy."_

"_Really," Brooke's eyebrow shot up._

"_Yeah, he's amazing. When I'm with him all of my problems disappear," Haley told her._

Brooke's cell vibrated beside her as she was writing down the whole conversation. She looked at the display and smiled before flipping it open, "hey, what's up?"

"I just wanted to invite you over for dinner, sweetie," Deb Scott's voice was enough to make Brooke want to cry. Deb had really stepped up and helped Brooke through everything, she was really like a mother to her.

"Yeah, I'd love to, would you mind if I brought a friend," Brooke asked.

"No problem, just make sure you get here in time to set the table. It's your turn," Deb was grinning, Brooke could hear it in her voice.

She laughed, "okay, Deb, I'll be there."

Around the time she hung up Rachael began to stir and Brooke realized it was close to three, soon Brooke would have to get to school to lead practice.

"Hey sleepyhead," Brooke crawled beside Rachael on the bed and looked at her friend.

"Hey," Rachael smiled but her eyes got watery immediately, "it was pretty bad. Were you there the whole time?"

"You don't remember," Brooke asked, when Rachael shook her head Brooke smiled, "I never let go of your hand."

Rachael couldn't form the sound around her thank you because she was all ready sobbing out her agony.

"Oh, Rach," Brooke pulled her friend close and held her.

000

Brooke ended up cancelling practice. She had told Peyton that she was feeling under the weather, that the past few days had caught up with her, and it was true. Until she figured out what Haley was hiding she would be pulling a lot of all nighters.

"Hey, Deb invited you over to join all of us for dinner," Brooke told Rachael.

"Do I know Deb," Rachael asked as she applied her make-up. She had insisted that she would be okay and looking okay was the first step to actually being better then okay.

"Yeah, I think you met Deb at Nathan's birthday party in October," Brooke replied.

Rachael froze, "was Nathan's father there?"

"Yeah, he gave Nathan and Luke their car keys that night. I know he's kind of skeezy, but he's actually really protective of Nathan," Brooke wanted to add that he had become so much more protective of Nathan after he had beat him. She thought that Dan Scott was terrified that his son would turn his back on him and he'd be alone because Deb would leave him too.

Brooke was snapped back from her thoughts as Rachael rose, not standing straight, "what are you doing? You're supposed to be resting!"  
"I know, but I think I'm going to eat a Lean Cuisine, take another pill and pass out," Rachael told her.

"Okay, well let me drive you home," Brooke offered.

000

Peyton opened Nathan's bedroom door expecting to find anything except Brooke on her knees in front of a naked, and obviously pleasured, Nathan Scott. Jake bumped into her from behind, he took in the scene and grinned, "way to go Nate!"

Brooke turned around and Nathan grabbed his junk, "ever heard of knocking?"

"We just got done with my family dinner," Jake told Nathan.

Nathan stalked to the bathroom and slammed the door. Brooke rose and shrugged, "what's up?"

"No shame," Peyton muttered and sat on Nathan's computer chair.

"Did you think I'd developed shamed," Brooke grinned, "oh, my friend, you are so naïve."

Nathan reentered the room, "why are you guys here?"

"Somebody's a little crabby because his nookie was interrupted," Peyton muttered.

Jake just grinned, "Peyton said she and Brooke had to talk. Apparently I'm supposed to distract you."

"Thank you Jakie," Brooke pinched his cheek and dragged Peyton out of the room. They made themselves comfortable in the study.

"So what did you determine," Peyton asked. Brooke handed her the pages of what she remembered from that night. Peyton silently read them.

"Okay, something was definitely going on. I think we need to try and think about Haley when the affair would have began," Peyton watched Brooke wince and gentled her voice, "you forgave her Brooke, I know this stings, but we need to figure this out."

Brooke nodded and thought back to two months before she had the conversation with Haley, as Peyton talked aloud Brooke thought. Nothing came to mind.

"Hello, ladies," Dan greeted them as he walked through the study toward the office.

"Hello, Mr. Scott," both girls replied in unison.

Peyton watched him close the door and then whispered, "he's so creepy. I've known him my whole life and I still think he's the silent stalker type. I'd hate to be caught in a dark alley with him."

Brooke almost laughed until the details rolled through her head. Peyton took Brooke's hand, "you okay, B. Davis? You got pale all of a sudden."

Brooke nodded, she had gotten pale because she knew. She inhaled deeply, her nose flaring, as she held back her tears, she knew.

000

Rachael opened the door of her house to see Brooke on her porch, "you're just in time I was about to take another Tylenol and pass out."

Brooke took both of Rachael arms into her hands, "you need to be honest with me, okay? No matter what just tell me the truth and I will be by your side no matter what. I promise."

"What's wrong, B," Rachael asked nervously.

"Did Dan Scott rape you? Was Dan the father of your baby," Brooke asked, her voice lower and husky.

Rachael's eyes filled with tears. They stood in her doorway for minute upon minute, their eyes never leaving one another. Finally Rachael sucked in a breath and her tears fell as she nodded, "yes."

"Oh my God," Brooke immediately hugged her friend close.

"I told him no," Rachael sobbed out.

Brooke just held her and said, "oh my God."


	19. The Beginning Of A New Chapter

Lucas held Haley close as she slept quietly on his chest. He hadn't spent a full night away from her since Monday. Either he stayed at her house, telling his mother he was at Nate's, or she snuck into his room, which really wasn't that difficult because he had a door leading outside.

She snuggled more into his side and he held his breath. Something had drawn him to Haley, almost the same way that he'd been drawn to Brooke. Not to say Brooke wasn't amazing but the reason her heart was bursting to capacity was because she had Nathan. He truly believed that she would be a mess if they ever broke apart, but then again, so would Nathan. But Haley was a quieter person, with more depth then you could ever guess. He was drawn to her complexity and innocence he supposed.

He subconsciously tightened his hold on her, he would never let her get hurt again. For the first time since he had moved to Tree Hill he resented 'the group' and their inability to protect her. They had let her go and she had been suffering ever since.

"You're so tense," her voice was sleepy.

"I'm so mad that they let you go and didn't even bother to figure out what happened," Luke told her.

Haley propped her head up onto her hand so she could look Lucas in the eye, "I don't blame them. I mad a bad decision going after Nathan. I hurt Brooke, no matter what, I shouldn't have hurt her like that. It wasn't her fault at all. It also wasn't Peyton's fault, she tried to reach out to me but I wouldn't let her."

"I want to hurt-" before Lucas could continue his sentence Haley placed a hand softly on his lips.

"Don't, Luke. Let it go like I have. I want to move on," her hazel eyes were pleading with him.

He nodded morosely but made no promises.

151

Luke was walking down the hallway on Friday morning, his thoughts on the whole fiasco that was the group he was beginning to think of as his family. Yeah, he was mad, but at the same time he loved being a part of the tight knit group. He also loved that he had just passed Haley talking to Jake and she had been smiling.

Someone bumped into him. He helped to keep her steady as she murmured, "sorry."

"Brooke," her startled gaze leapt up to him.

"Hey, I didn't realize it was you," she told him.

"Hey," Luke wouldn't let her walk away. He took her wrist and gently pushed her hair from her face. She was really pale, with dark smudges under eyes and she looked…haunted, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," her voice was rough, the way it had sounded the night he had spent watching movies with her and she'd been crying all day.

"You've been crying," he argued.

Brooke shrugged, "no biggy, just the pre-period blues."

"Don't," he wouldn't let her go. She was hoping to embarrass him into letting her go but what she didn't know was that Luke wasn't one to embarrass easily.

They stood there for a long moment, their eyes never leaving one another, as they waged a silent war. A war Luke refused to lose, something had hurt her and he was determined to find out what.

"What's going on," Peyton's voice sounded behind Luke.

"Yeah, what's up," Nathan's voice sounded behind Brooke.

"Later," Brooke murmured and Luke finally let her go.

Nathan snaked an arm around Brooke, "where did you run off to last night? I missed you."

"No where," she lied, "just to finish some last minute business." Truthfully she couldn't even consider sleeping under the same roof as Dan Scott ever again.

"Did this business include a trip to that place in Greenville," Nathan asked.

Brooke managed a grin, "I told you the next time I take a trip to Madame Naughty's Shop for the Bedroom Intellect that you would be accompanying me."

"Promises, promises," he grinned as he walked her to class.

"What was that all about," Peyton asked as Luke escorted her to their study hall.

"She looked really peaked, I was worried," Luke replied.

Peyton nodded, "we've been trying to figure out what to do about Haley. We feel like she's keeping something from us and we want to know so we can help her."

Lucas nodded, "you should talk to her."

"I think we'll have to double team her, Haley could never lie to both of us," Peyton told.

He grinned, "can I watch you double team her?"

Peyton smacked his arm but grinned back, "maybe, if you're lucky!"

151

"How are you," Brooke questioned Rachael as soon as the girl approached her at cheerleading practice.

Rachael held up her doctor's note saying she didn't have to perform due to "overt menstrual cramps", "I've been better."

"The doctor said the cramps were normal and as long as the bleeding wasn't excessive then it was fine," Brooke reiterated the line she had used the night before.

"I never thought about kids before but now I'm pretty sure I never want them. If birth pain is worse then abortion cramps," she shrugged, trying to be as nonchalant as possible.

Brooke held her hand for a moment, "I want you to stay at my place."

"I couldn't," Rachael denied.

"Yes you can, and you will. You've been through something horrible. I know you're used to acting tough but I know this whole situation," she lowered her voice, "the abortion and the rape, are hurting you."

The other girls began to approach them so Rachael broke contact, "I'll meet you there okay?"

"Yeah, there's a spare key under the welcome mat and the alarm code is 1973," Brooke watched her walk into the locker room and took a deep breath. She didn't have the slightest clue how she was going to help Rachael, she didn't know how she was going to talk Haley into divulging her secret, she sighed because apparently she didn't know anything.

"Hey, babe," Nathan walked out of his locker room and smiled as he saw her leaning in the doorway of the girl's locker room.

"Hi," she hoped her smile seemed real.

He wrapped an arm around her waist and dropped a sweet kiss onto her lips. When he pulled away he grinned, "after the game do you want to stop at Bevin's party?"

"Actually I told Rachael she could stay at my place while her house is being, um," she thought hard, "sprayed!"

Nathan frowned, "she can come too. And you know I don't mind staying at your place."

Brooke felt the first trickle of fear that the secret she was now keeping would be enough to hurt her relationship with Nathan. She couldn't tell Nathan because then Rachael's secret would be out for sure because Nathan would flip out on his Dad. Everyone in Tree Hill would take notice of one of the richest families being torn apart. But at the same time she felt the strong urge to tell Rachael to take Dan to court, to make him pay for his ghastly sin against her.

"She's not feeling good and I promised her that we'd do all sorts of girly things after the game," Brooke replied. On Fridays the cheer squad perfected their cheers for the seven o'clock game while the players went over small drills and what each play meant.

"Are you feeling okay," Nathan rubbed the dark circles under her eyes, "ever since you left my house yesterday I've had a bad feeling."

"Come on, captain," the girls walked past them, giggling and talking the whole way.

Brooke nodded, "it's just been a few crazy days too many. I love you."

He grinned and followed his team onto the court, "I love you too."

151

Brooke looked at her girls, winked at Rachael who was sitting on the bleachers. They'd done a harder practice then anticipated but Brooke was satisfied that at the game they would show the other cheer squad up, "good practice girls. Tonight, Bevin we're doing ponytails with blue ribbons that means that you should tie the ribbon into your hair on your head, I know last time we had a bit of a communication problem. Also Rachael is going to be out for the game so Stacy, you're going to have to step up your back spring tumble. Haley, good job today! See the rest of you in the locker room no later then 6."

Haley stopped in front of Brooke, "thanks for that. The girls still think I'm a raving bitch."

"You did do a good job," Brooke told her but she winked.

"Look Brooke, I just wanted to say that I'm really glad we cleared things up," Haley told her.

She was so obviously nervous and all Brooke wanted to do was gather her in her arms and tell her it would all be okay if she'd just tell her what really went wrong, "me too! Hey, Peyton and I are going Christmas shopping tomorrow. Do you feel up to joining us?"

"Yeah," Peyton threw an arm around Brooke's shoulder and grinned at Haley, "we're going to drive to Charlotte and buy all sorts of nasty underwear to put on as a cheap Christmas gift for the boyfriends."

"Do you feel up to joining," Brooke asked again, "then we can talk about if you have a boyfriend to wear nasty underwear for."

"Lucas and I," Haley began but a slow blush started on her face and spread.

"Exactly the conversation we'll have in the car," Peyton chuckled.

"Go hit the showers," Brooke told her friends. For the first time in a long time she felt like everything was going to be okay. But then she looked over to the bleachers and saw Rachael. She realized that things wouldn't be okay for a very long time.

151

Brooke slowly crept through Haley's house looking for the girl. She had opted to pick her up first hoping for some alone time before picking up Peyton. She walked through the familiar house where just one month before Haley had stated her intent to steal Nathan. Oh how times did change.

"Hales," Brooke gently pushed open Haley's studio door and found her straddling Lucas with her tongue in Lucas' mouth, "well, are you still congratulating one of Tree Hill High's star basketball players?"

The two broke apart like they had been caught by a priest. Haley blushed to the roots of her honey blond hair but Lucas only grinned, "morning, Brooke."

"I just have to go get my bag," Haley slid past Brooke.

"You've done her a world of good," Brooke told Lucas quietly.

He rose, "we're still going to have that talk, don't think I forgot."

Brooke smiled at her friend, "I'm okay Luke."

"Sunday night," he cupped her cheek, "at my mom's café. Over dinner you can tell me."

She smiled into the eyes of the man that she thought would one day be her brother-in-law and nodded, "five at Karen's Café."

"Ready," Haley asked.

Brooke nodded, "yep, I have all of my questions ready to be asked the moment I hit the automatic lock button in the car."

Luke gave Haley one last kiss and watched the girls drive away with a grin.

151

Brooke was driving, Peyton was in the passenger seat and Haley was in the back, but all of them were singing to a redone version of 'Missing You' by a local kid named Chris Keller.

"He's good," Peyton remarked.

Brooke nodded in agreement but Haley shook her head, "his ego is bigger then North Carolina and South Carolina put together."

"You've met him," Brooke asked.

"When I went to his record store to buy a cheap new adapter he reamed me out for not going on tour," Haley replied.

"Do you have enough songs for that," Peyton asked curiously.

"Yeah, I've got tons from-" Haley's voice broke off.

"Awkward," Brooke told her.

"Yeah," she moved on, "anyway, he's an ass."

"Speaking of asses, what about Lucas' fine ass? Are you tapping that," Peyton grinned.

"Excellent change of subjects," Brooke told her best friend.

Haley shook her head, "it's not like that with Luke."

"It looked like that when I caught Haley straddling him in a chair with her tongue doing a very interesting dance with his," Brooke told Peyton.

Peyton gasped, "Haley James! Were you frisking Lucas Scott's mouth with your tongue?"

"Oh God," Haley groaned but laughed with them, "yes, okay! Yes, we were making out!"

"But are you sleeping with him," Brooke reminded her.

"No, we do sleep together, but all we do is sleep," Haley told them.

"I would so tap that," Peyton mentioned. She laughed out loud when Haley smacked her shoulder.

151

All in all the shopping trip was successful but as Brooke sat in the passenger's seat watching the landscape flash past she could only think of the discussion she'd had with Rachael that morning. She had been getting ready while Rachael had been soaking in a bubble bath.

"_I think you have to tell the cops," Brooke told her._

"_And say what? Oh, hello, Mr. Officer, I was raped almost three months ago by the mayor and I was pregnant with his second bastard child but I aborted it. I'm sure that would go over well. Beside the fact that my reputation is less then sterling. Everyone thinks I'm a big slut," Rachael told her._

_Brooke huffed, "someone has to believe you. You were raped, he should pay!"_

"_Look, B, I know you mean well but I'm not going to testify and bare my business like that to the whole town. I just want to forget it ever happened."_

She could hear the exasperation in Rachael's voice so she let it go but she still had to convince her that turning Dan in would be the right thing to do. But at the same time she understood why Rachael couldn't do it. Everyone would talking about her, judging her. For Brooke's part she worried that if Rachael did turn Dan in then Nathan would be crushed, his whole world turned upside down by a convict for a father and the inevitable divorce Deb would file for immediately. She worried that Nathan would think down on her for not telling him immediately. Brooke sighed, was life really supposed to be this hard?

"What are you thinking about, B. Davis," Peyton's voice called to her from behind.

Brooke turned so she could see Peyton in the back, "I'm thinking how happy I am that we're all back together."

Haley tentatively took Brooke's hand and squeezed, "me too."


	20. Long Overdue

Christmas vacation came faster then anyone anticipated. Soon everyone was finishing up shopping and getting their plans finalized. Rachael had left school a week early to spend the vacation in Greece on a sunny beach. Brooke had agreed that it was a good plan to get away for a while. Rachael had remained staunch in her decision not to discuss the rape with anyone. And Brooke had also had her dinner with Lucas. Halfway through she realized Lucas knew Haley's secret and he wasn't telling. Halfway through Lucas realized that Brooke wasn't telling her secret. And so they had stalemated.

"My mother wants to know if you're coming over for Christmas Eve dinner and staying," Nathan asked Brooke.

"I plan on coming over for dinner," Brooke replied.

Nathan sighed, "you haven't spent one night over my house in three weeks!"

"Yeah, but that just means I don't have to stifle your moans when we're getting frisky because we're at my house or Peyton's," she grinned at him.

"You're the loud one," he whispered into her hair.

She frowned up at him, "you speak blasphemy! Anyway, the whole crew will be at your house for dinner. Then we're meeting up late on Christmas at Haley's house since my parents have decided to return and my house is crazy."

Nathan took a deep breath. Brooke had basically been staying at Peyton's, which wasn't a problem because Peyton let them use the guest room, but Nate couldn't understand why the woman wouldn't just come back to his place. She had spent months at a time there and suddenly she would barely step foot on the property.

"Her parents aren't coming home this Christmas either," Nathan asked. Peyton's father very rarely made it home in time for Christmas.

Brooke she her head and took allowed Nathan to lace their fingers as they walked down the hallway. Only two hours until vacation began. Maybe with two weeks of vacation Brooke could get Haley to spill.

911

Lucas watched as Haley pulled yet another book out of her locker and stuffed it into her backpack, "you do know that we only have two hours left until Christmas vacation. No one is actually expecting you to be productive."

"Well I expect myself to be productive," Haley replied.

Luke rolled his eyes playfully and tried not to let his gaze roam down her v-neck as she bent over. He got a hard on just thinking about all the nights he'd spent in the last few weeks pressed up against Haley's luscious curves. Her tight ass and ample breasts and tiny waist and…

"Hey," Haley was suddenly waving her hand in front of his face, "where'd you go?"

He hoped he wasn't blushing as she slammed her locker closed, "nowhere. I'm just glad school's almost over."

"Only two more hours," Haley repeated as they began to walk.

911

"Why is that we always have to sit through a lecture an hour before we get out of here for two weeks," Peyton asked. She looked behind her toward Brooke and Haley and grinned, "they act like we're not going to drink at the next big party because they said so."

"Well if that ain't the beginning of a textbook alkie," Haley teased her.

Brooke rolled her eyes playfully and leaned back on Nathan's strong legs. He was sitting with Jake and Luke going over the next game they were playing against the Plymouth Warriors. The coming game would be a make or break game and they all knew it. But she had faith in them and in their ability to pull out a win.

"The party is going to be awesome," Brooke told them all. She was convinced that this was a reunion party and it would break all the records. After exchanging gifts late on Christmas afternoon Haley had agreed to host a party at her house.

"We have to go shopping," Haley reminded them.

Peyton grinned, "I'll bring the music, Brooke can bring the booze and you can move the furniture and cover it."

"Or have the boys do it," Brooke advised her.

"Have the boys do what," Jake asked.

Peyton grinned up at her boyfriend, "help move Hales' furniture so it doesn't get ruined."

"We can stop by later that morning because we have morning practice at five anyway," Nathan told her.

Haley smiled. It was amazing how quickly weirdness had changed into comfortable again. The other day Brooke had walked in on Haley and Nathan in the tutor center, she had just smiled and told them that Monday movie night was on and left. Maybe it was because it was abundantly clear to everyone that Haley wasn't interested in Nathan. Peyton had made the comment that Haley's adoration of Nathan had been like flipping on a switch and just as suddenly she had flipped it off.

"Well then you can take your butt home tonight, there's no way I'm going to be woken up at four in the morning," Brooke told Nate.

He grinned and winked at her. He never woke Brooke up because they both knew she slept sounder then anybody else on earth, "if I go home you'll end up sleeping with Peyton."

"That's right," at Lucas' look Brooke continued, "Brooke Davis never has to sleep alone."

"AKA, she doesn't like to be alone," Jake told Lucas.

Brooke stuck her tongue out at him but didn't dispute his claim. For the last few weeks it had been hard for her to sleep and completely impossible when she had been alone. She felt like she had most of the pieces of a puzzle but randomly she'd find out she was missing some so she couldn't complete it. She also didn't know how it would turn out. She could honestly say that she had never felt so anxious before.

911

Nathan hung up with Brooke fifteen minutes before his mother's Christmas Eve dinner. For the life of him he couldn't figure out what was going through his girlfriend's head. He did know she was keeping something from him, he always knew. He was worried that whatever she was hiding was effecting their relationship in ways that he couldn't understand or stop.

"Nate, come help me set the table," Deb's voice traveled up the stairs. He threw his cell phone down on his bed and went to do his mother's bidding.

911

Lucas held Haley's hand as they approached the house he had lived in. Now he could barely stomach being in a twenty mile radius of it. Haley squeezed his hand, "I can't do this Luke."

"Yes you can, you're strong, but if you don't want to then we can leave right now," Luke told her.

Before Haley could tell him either way, Peyton and Jake came up behind them. Peyton threw an arm around Lucas' shoulder, "hey buddies, why are we talking out here in the cold?"

When neither of them answered Jake took Peyton's hand, "maybe they want to talk alone, babe."

Haley smiled her thanks to Jake as he dragged his girlfriend inside. She looked at Luke and validated when she noticed his anger. She reached out for his hand, "let's do this."

"Okay," he agreed as he took her offered hand.

911

"Where's Brooke," Deb asked as she placed the last serving bowl on the table.

"Probably out doing last minute shopping," Dan offered from the head of the table.

Nathan shrugged, obviously agitated with his girlfriend, "she said she'd be late but wouldn't tell me why."

Haley held Lucas' hand under the table trying to suck his strength into her own body, "I think she wanted to do some last minute touch-ups on some of the decorations for Winter Formal."

Winter Formal was a week away and everyone knew that Brooke was the chairperson for the decorating committee; she would make it a night to remember. Suddenly the front door swung open. Everyone watched as Brooke dropped her purse and coat onto a nearby chair and rushed inside. Peyton cringed as she noticed her best friend was speed walking in stilettos.

"Sorry I'm late, I just had to add these cute little reindeer decorations to the gym for formal," Brooke told them and took her spot across from Nathan and to Dan's left. She all ready felt her appetite leaving her because she had to sit so close to Dan Scott.

Deb smiled down at Brooke, "I'm glad you made it, now we can pass around the food!"

As dinner got underway Keith and Dan actually made nice and were joking around about the old days. But when Keith mentioned how Dan had played his worst game during the last game in high school, Dan got pissed, and not too surprisingly the dinner went sour from there.

"Keith," Karen gently kicked her fiancé under the table.

"Dan," Deb hissed at her husband.

Dan slammed a fist on the table and Brooke was shocked when she felt Haley practically jump out of her skin, "you don't know a damn thing about me or that game!"  
"Dad, it's not even that serious. Whatever happened is done and finished now," Nathan tried to tell his father.

Brooke winced on Nathan's behalf because she'd seen Dan angry before and when you added a few glasses of holiday wine it could only get worse. She held Haley's hand, for some reason the girl was positively shaking but Haley snatched her hand away.

"Don't touch me," Haley told her and without another word she stood and ran out of the house.

Brooke and Lucas shared a look before Luke stood. He bent to Brooke, "stay with Nate."

"I think I know what's serious enough to fight for," Dan yelled at his son.

"Don't yell at my son," Deb shot back immediately.

Jake stood took his plate and Peyton's hand and made for the stairs. They'd wait this out in Nathan's bedroom where they always did when this happened. Brooke nodded as they walked past.

"Mom, Dad," Nathan yelled at both of them.

"Don't you see what your pushing and anger is doing to your son," Keith chimed in.

Brooke wanted to weep for Nathan. He had gained a relationship with his brother and his uncle but that relationship was helping to destroy his father.

"Nathan, go upstairs," Deb's eyes weren't leaving her husband's.

"I'm not going to leave you down here with him," Nathan replied.

Karen rose, "Keith, maybe we should leave."

"I'm not leaving her here with him either," Keith replied.

"Mom, let's just go," Nathan begged his mother.

No one expected that Dan would clip his son in the side of the face. But as shocked as Nathan was he expected Brooke to flip out and caught her right before she landed on Dan, claws bared.

"Get her upstairs, and both of you stay there," Deb told her son. As Nathan was dragging Brooke up the stairs he heard his mother's scariest voice.

"If you ever touch my son again…" Nathan closed his bedroom door on that.

Peyton and Jake were still eating but Peyton rose, her food dropping when she saw his all ready swelling cheek, "tell me that son of a bitch did not hit you again! I will fucking murder him!"  
Nate pushed Brooke into a chair, "you can't try and attack Dan, he's ten times as big as you. He'd kill you!"  
"I told you," her voice was husky but determined, "that if he ever touched you again I would kill him."

Jake clapped Nathan's shoulder, "you're at my place or Peyton's until this blows over."

Nate nodded but was still looking at Brooke, "promise me you will never do that again."

"No, I can't promise that," she refused to promise something that she couldn't keep.

"Damn it, Brooke," he yelled at her, "I won't have you putting yourself at risk!"

"And I won't have someone beat up my boyfriend especially his father," she retorted.

"He's my father," Nate was begging her to understand the impossibility of his predicament.

"That does not give him the right to hurt you," Peyton argued.

Brooke nodded, "I will not stand on the sides and watch him bang you up because you refuse to fight back. I'll fight back for you!"  
"No," he yelled again, "just stay the fuck out of it. I don't want you involved."

"Don't want me involved," she was taken aback, "I'm up to my chin in involvement! Stay out of it? Fine, you don't have to tell me twice Nathan Scott."

All three of them watched as she stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

911

Brooke didn't know where she was going, she just drove and cried. She cried for Nathan because he would never have it in his heart to stand up against Dan. She cried for Rachael because no matter what her bad tendencies were no one deserved to be raped. She cried for herself because now she knew for a certainty that she had to get Rachael to tell her secret and Nathan would hate her.

Somehow she parked in front of Haley's house. She walked in without knocking and walked into the living room where she knew they would be. Haley and Luke looked up from the couch, both of them obviously surprised, "what happened Hales? Just tell me."

Haley took in her friend's puffy face and rose, "what happened?"

"Dan hit him again and he told me to stay out of it," Brooke replied, but she was stiff, unwilling to show emotion, "now tell me what happened. Why did you seduce Nathan? Why did you really try and hurt me?"

Luke rose too and held Haley's hand, "tell her, it's time."

"Dan raped me," Haley spat out the words.

Brooke took a hesitant step back, mouth dropping wide, "no!"  
Haley took a step forward, "I had been staying with you and Nate for a month. You left early to see Nathan off to his bus for his away game. He attacked me while I was in the shower. He raped me!"  
"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you hate me," Brooke asked even as silent tears began to slide down her face.

"It wasn't fair," Haley spat out, "you took showers alone in that house all the time and he never touched you. He never even looked at you that way. I didn't know what made you so fucking special that he did that to me instead."

"Nathan," Brooke asked.

Haley was crying now too, "he was the link. I was upset that Dan chose me over you, I wanted you to hurt the way I was hurt. I'm so sorry."

"Oh my God," Brooke wrapped her arms around Haley and held her close, "I'm so sorry I didn't see it."

"Nathan," Luke took a step forward and both girls swung around to see a disheveled Nathan staring in shock.

"Nate," Brooke took a step forward, weary of how he would react.

He seemed shocked, "I came to make sure you were okay. To apologize for being an ass."

"Baby," Brooke didn't know if she should touch him and her thought was confirmed when he flinched from her hand.

"Dan," he was staring hard at Haley as he stuttered, "Dan, raped you?"

Haley nodded, "yeah."

It seemed like it took forever for Nathan to react. Suddenly he rushed forward and gathered Haley into his arms, "I'm sorry."

The tears began again and this time everyone was crying as Haley allowed herself to lean on her two oldest friends and her newest friend.


	21. Allies In Agony

The party was cancelled. Brooke had spent the rest of Christmas Eve with Haley, feeling she would welcome her support now more than Nathan would. Brooke had texted Peyton saying that she should come immediately. The moment Peyton walked in she was informed and had insisted on staying also. Luke had went back to the house with Nathan and backed his bag. Deb was oblivious, thinking that Nathan had left because of the fight. Brooke wondered if it was her place to tell Deb. Nathan was going to stay with Jake's family. Brooke wanted him to stay with her but he was all ready pulling away.

For Nathan's part he didn't mean to make feel Brooke that way. In fact Brooke never entered his mind the whole long night. Jake had been told the whole story by Luke, who had decided to stay over after his mother was called, and now both guys were eyeing Nathan like they expected him to snap at anytime. Truth be told, Nathan felt like snapping. He had broke his girlfriend's heart, disowned an old friend, and it was all a result of his father raping Haley. That thought stunned him as it really sunk in, Dan Scott, his father had raped Haley. What the fuck was he supposed to do now?

007

Haley looked up from the magazine article she had been reading on her favorite overstuffed chair in her living room. Brooke was back. Over the last three days since Christmas Eve Brooke had been doting on her constantly, always around just in case Haley needed her. In short, Brooke was driving Haley crazy.

"No, before you ask," at Brooke's look of surprise Haley continued, "I'm not thirsty or hungry. I don't feel overly depressed and I'm not in any danger of harming myself or others."  
Brooke walked forward and sat on the chaise beside the chair, "I just worry that you don't think you can depend on me."

"Tigger," Haley used her oldest nickname for Brooke, hoping she would take the hint, "I'm okay. I mean, I'll always be scarred but I'm still going to live. Plus I've started seeing a therapist, at Luke's suggestion, and it's really helping."

"I'm glad," Brooke took her friend's hand, "I think you should testify against Dan."

Haley took her hand back in her surprise, "are you serious? Air all of my dirty laundry to the entire town? No, thank you! They would tear me apart, he's the mayor and I'm just a teenager who has a reputation for being bitter and stealing her best friend's boyfriend."

"Haley, Dan hurt you! He did things to you that you didn't welcome or ask for, he deserves to be punished," Brooke told her.

"And what about Nathan? And Luke? Dan is their father, you know how dirty he is, he'll take down both of them with him!"

Brooke gently rubbed Haley's hand, hoping to soothe her, "what if he does this again? If he thinks he can get away with it then what's to stop him next time?"

"Brooke, I was in his house, in his shower, I was practically begging for the psycho to rape me," Haley's eyes began to fill, "I doubt any other girls will be in his shower. I was the idiot who trusted him."

"This is not your fault, do you hear me Haley James? This is not, in any way, shape or form, your fault. Dan is a sick man and deserves everything the legal system can dish out on him," Brooke told her. She wanted to enlighten Haley, to let her know that Rachael hadn't been naked in Dan's bathroom yet she had been raped, but she knew that Rachael wouldn't have that.

"Hey, ladies," Luke walked into the living room and tried to keep from sighing. It seemed like every time he entered this room he had to comfort some combination of the women in his life as they cried. He motioned to them and both girls accepted his invitation to be held.

007

Nathan had been wondering when Brooke would show up. Of course they had seen each other in the past few days but Nathan had been in his own world and Brooke had seemed miles away. Now she was standing in the doorway of the guest room in Jake's house where he was spending his nights.

"I'm trying to talk Haley into pressing charges," Brooke told him quietly.

Nathan nodded, he wanted to tell her to get Dan locked away forever but he was still his father. When Nathan didn't answer Brooke took a seat on the desk chair, "how have you been, Nate?"

"Well my father is a rapist, the friend that I've been scorning for a year was his victim and I spent my Christmas in a hotel with my mother watching her cry when I told her I wouldn't be coming home," he didn't know where it was coming from but suddenly he felt very bitter and very angry and Brooke was looking like a good target for all of it. She hadn't even seemed surprised by Haley's announcement!

"I know you're hurting Nate, and I wish with all of my heart that I could take that away from you, but I can't."

"That's right you can't," he watched as Brooke's eyes widened in surprise, "so maybe it would be better if you left."

"Nathan-"

"Brooke! Right now I'm not feeling up to making sure that I don't say anything that's hurtful because right now I just want everyone to hurt as much as I do. So go!"  
Brooke put her hand on his shoulder, about to tell him that she would do whatever he wanted as long as he didn't push her away but he moved away from her, to the other side of the room, "go!"  
She had no choice, she turned and without another word, she left.

007

Luke growled into Haley's throat after a long hour of making out. It was the first time he'd had time alone with Haley since she had told her secret to the group. Either Brooke or Peyton was always around, or dragging Haley somewhere, because neither of them wanted her without them. Peyton had said that now that they knew the truth they were trying to make up for the lost year.

"You know that any day now you can take this further, I wouldn't stop you," Haley's voice was quiet but playful.

He sighed, he didn't have the heart to sleep with Haley, at least not until he knew she was feeling what he was feeling. He happened to think that she was one of the strongest women he'd ever met, that she deserved someone better then him, someone who was as brave and strong.

"I want you," he admitted.

"And I want you, add a condom to this scenario and I think we'll be all set," she whispered.

He groaned and nipped gently at her throat, "you're a witch!"  
"You wanna see a witch," as she asked her hand made a trip down south for a quick visit, just as Brooke walked into the bedroom.

"I always seem to find you two in a compromising position," Haley snatched her hand away and turned to look at Brooke in her doorway but before she could yell at her she noticed her face.

Lucas must have also because he sat up, "what happened?"

"What are you talking about, I was just coming to see if Haley wanted to embark on some retail therapy but obviously I caught you guys in the middle of something," she winked but even then Haley wasn't buying it.

"How did your visit with Nate go," Haley asked, she was sitting up by now.

Brooke shrugged, her bright face drooping, "no more then I expected I guess. Anyway, what do you two want to do today team?"

Luke shrugged his shoulders, he knew what he wanted to do but he damn well wasn't planning on doing it in front of Brooke, "I actually have practice in about an hour before Friday's game. I told Jake that I'd come over to his place so we could drive with Nathan to the gym."

Both Luke and Haley noticed how Brooke's face dropped again at the mention of Nathan. Haley rose, "did something happen between you and Nate?"

Her eyes filled but she clamped her bottom lip between her teeth to get herself under control, "no more then I expected! So Haley if Luke is going to practice then that leaves us with a million hours to shop until practice tonight."

Haley and Luke exchanged looks, when he nodded Haley picked up her bag, "let me put on my shoes and we'll drive to Greenville."

"We have to pick up P. Sawyer," Brooke told her.

Haley nodded and flashed Luke a grateful smile. Luke's heart skipped a beat in reaction.

007

"So what'd you do to Brooke," Jake asked the question as he pulled his car out of his driveway with Luke in the back and Nathan in the passenger's seat.

"What do you mean," Nathan was looking out his window, seemingly oblivious.

"She interrupted Haley and I together and basically begged her to go shopping with her," Luke told him.

"And then she interrupted Peyton and I together and the moment Peyton tried to say no to shopping her eyes filled up like she was on the edge. There is only a few people on this earth that can make her react like that and sense it wasn't Haley I figured it had to be you," Jake explained.

"She's just trying to heal me like this isn't a big deal. Like I don't need time to figure out what I'm going to do, and how I'm going to tell my mother. Eventually my mother will want to know why I refuse to come home and when I have to tell her then her heart is going to break," Nathan argued.

"Your mom will be surprised but she's a strong woman Nate. I only lived with you for a few weeks but she was always able to hold up against Dan, I don't think this situation will weaken that if anything it will make it stronger," Luke told him.

Nathan shook his head, "and what about my dad? If I confront him God only knows what he'll do, my mother, Haley, would probably never be safe. This situation just sucks and Brooke doesn't get it."

"Then explain it to her so she gets it," Jake replied, "just like you're explaining it to us."

He didn't say anything to that, he just stared out the window wishing that somehow all of his problems would disappear.

007

"These cheese fries are so good," Brooke moaned into the community fries in the middle of the table. They were in a mall in Greenville, NC, enjoying some fries and good shopping.

Peyton nodded and made eye contact with Haley. Haley blinked both eyes in a silent response of yes. Peyton scooted closer to Brooke, "so what did Nathan say?"

Brooke's face tensed, "nothing much, he basically told me that he was hurting a lot and that only time would heal his wounds."

"First of all, Nathan has way too much pride to talk about his hurt, especially with you because he hates to put his problems on you," Peyton told her in immediate response.

"Second of all, you can't lie blatantly to our faces, we know you too well," Haley added, "he hurt your feelings."

"He told me that I didn't understand and to get out. He's never pushed me away like that before, it was like he couldn't even look at me," Brooke told them.

Peyton frowned, that didn't sound like the Nathan Scott she had grown to know over the past year, in fact it was reminiscent of the Nathan Scott she had known before Dan raped Haley. Haley squeezed Brooke's hand, "he's just trying to figure out how to handle all of this, just like all of us are."

"You shouldn't have to handle this, Dan should never have laid a hand on you," Peyton interrupted Haley.

"Exactly," Brooke was suddenly squeezing Haley's hand, "there is no excuse for what he did. You should go forward with the truth, Haley."

"You two just don't give up! It wouldn't be you two up there having everyone interested delving through your business. And who are we kidding? Dan is the mayor, nothing bad can happen to him. In the end it would be his word against mine and I'm just one kid."

No one said anything for a long time after Haley's outburst. There was nothing to say. Peyton and Brooke were steadfast in their belief that Haley should step forward, both believing that they would be with her every step of the way. Haley was just as steadfast in her belief that she would just go on with her life. Even if it meant living it in fear.

007

One week after Christmas, and four days since the last time Brooke had tried to communicate with Nathan face-to-face. Four days of Brooke either sleeping in between Haley and Luke at her house, or his, or in between Peyton and Jake at her house. Four days of Haley's mind racing with the decision of stepping forward or not. Four days of Nathan agonizing over what to tell his mother, and what to do with himself.

Haley was in her studio gently strumming on Lola when Brooke walked in. She set Lola down and rose, as she approached her friend she wiped her hands on her thighs, "what's up? You promised to give me a few hours peace."

Brooke cupped Haley's cheek and gave her a small smile, "I brought someone here Haley. I hope you'll give her a chance."

Haley's hazel eyes widened in surprise, Brooke was not acting like her usual self, "who?"

"I'll give you a hint," Rachael walked into the studio and looked around before settling her eyes on Haley, "not your biggest fan."

"Why would you bring her here," Haley asked Brooke, angry at her supposed best friend.

"Don't get huffy with her," Rachael was protective of the very few people she called friends, "she asked me to come over and try to talk you into turning in Dan."

"You told her," Haley yelled.

"Yeah she told me the very basics, that it had happened to you too," Rachael replied.

Haley stilled, "me too? You mean…Dan raped you too?"

"Not only did he manage to rape me, but he knocked me up!"

"Oh my God," Haley did the unthinkable and pulled Rachael's tense form into her arms.

Brooke moved two more chairs over, "let's sit guys. I'll go grab some wine, are your bottles still in the basement?"

Haley nodded absentmindedly as she sat, "I'm sorry."

For the first time Rachael actual was witnessing Haley being a human being and was feeling amazingly close to her, "me too. I'm sorry for both of us."

By the time Brooke had poured their first glasses of a deep red wine Haley was almost done with relaying her story, "…the only way I could get it out, to make it fair, was to try and take Nathan. By hurting Brooke because Dan wouldn't hurt her, only me. I'm sorry, Brooke."

"Stop apologizing for that," Brooke told her, "there is no reason for you to be sorry. Something horrible happened to you and because of it you made bad choices. I do not blame you in any way. I never believed that you changed for no reason, I was just waiting for you to let me in."

Haley gently laid her hand on Rachael, "tell me your story. Do you want some more wine first?"

Rachael held up her glass, this Haley was a girl that she could learn to like, "there's not a lot to say. I went to Nathan's birthday bash on the beach. I drank too much, as usual, and started making out with a guy. He was irritating me so I told him to get lost and started walking down the beach. I guess in hindsight I shouldn't have walked as far as I did, as drunk as I was. He came out of nowhere, he didn't speak to me, he just put his hand over my mouth, dragged me to the pier and raped me. When he was done, he just left me there. My legs were wide open and I was crying, he just stood up, zipped up his fly and walked away."

"I know," Haley swallowed, "when he took me out of the shower, he put his hand over my mouth too. But when he did it to me, he told me never to tell Nathan about it or my life would get worse."

"I can't believe that scumbag would even bring up Nate," Brooke was mad on everyone's behalf.

"The point is that I understand why you don't want to come forward, because they're the same reason I didn't want to. But now that I've had time to consider it, I don't want anything more then to see that asshole behind bars being bitch raped by a Hispanic gangster named Jose."

"Well," Brooke gave Rachael a look of surprise, "I guess it's better that you're verbalizing and getting it out."

Haley didn't say anything for a while, she sat and sipped her wine. Finally she looked at her friends, and she did consider Rachael a friend now because no matter how much Brooke loved her no one in the world understood what it was like to be raped by Dan Scott except Haley and Rachael. They were sisters in their experience, "if you want to do this, if you promise to take every step with me, both of you and Peyton, then I will press charges."

Rachael took Haley's hand and Brooke's, "we'll all be in it together. He can't touch us if we stick together."


	22. The Ending Of An Era

Since Rachael was home in time for New Years Eve she went to work at getting her house ready for a huge party. After the new year she and Haley would be walking into the Tree Hill Police Station to report two rapes by the mayor. So until that day, they were going to party. Peyton and Luke had been informed about their plans, but everyone was waiting to let Brooke tell Nathan. It wasn't that anyone thought he would think they were lying. Even if he didn't know Rachael enough to believe her he did belief Haley. The problem was that he seemed to be cutting himself off. They couldn't imagine how he would react when the trial got underway.

Luke had been at Rachael's all morning after practice with Jake helping to move her furniture. Nathan had decided to stay at the gym and practice a bit more, as if Whitey wasn't pushing them hard to maintain their undefeated stance.

"Hey boys," Brooke entered Rachael's house unannounced. She smiled sweetly at Jake, who rolled his eyes.

"I don't know what she wants to talk to you about, but she wants to do it privately," Jake pecked Brooke's cheek as he made his way to the kitchen.

Luke settled on the last couch they had to move, "what's up?"

"I was thinking that you could talk to Nathan, give him the heads up," Brooke asked, a hopeful look on her face.

"Don't you think it'll be better coming from you?"

"No," she admitted honestly, "since Nate found out he's been steadily pushing me away. I don't think me delivering the news that not only had Dan raped Haley but also Rachael and that they were both pressing charges would go over well."

"You didn't tell him about Rachael," Luke was surprised, "you knew about it for a long time."

"But Rachael had sworn me to secrecy," Brooke explained.

Lucas realized that Brooke must be an amazing friend. She had kept a secret that was quite possibly the biggest secret anyone could keep. But she also looked scared, as if everything was verging on his answer, "yeah, I'll talk to him. Let him know so he's not surprised when the news hits."

Brooke gave Lucas a hug, "thank you."

He watched her walk up stairs where Rachael was, and sighed, his brother had no idea what his attitude was doing to Brooke.

1111

Lucas walked into Jake's room unannounced and caught his brother in his boxers about to pull on his shirt. Nathan nodded to Luke in acknowledgement of his presence but ignored him from there.

"Brooke asked me to come over," Luke told him.

Nathan looked at Luke again, "she doing okay?"

"Maybe you should go see her, or at least give her a call. She misses you."

"Yeah," but then Nathan shrugged, as if there was nothing he could do about it.

"Well she wanted me to let you know that Rachael has come forward as another rape victim of Dan and that after the new year both girls intend on pressing charges. You might want to tell you mom so she's not surprised," Luke told him. He was weary because Nathan didn't seem to be at his best lately and seemed very close to the edge of snapping.

Nathan took a step toward Luke, "Dan raped Rachael too?"

Luke nodded, "yeah, father of the year that we have."

"What the fuck? How many more girls are going to come out of the woodwork? I have to tell Mom," Nathan muttered and pushed his fingers through his hair in agitation.

"She just thought you would want to know," when Nathan didn't respond Luke felt his anger rise but he couldn't make Nathan lean on anyone. He couldn't help Nathan through it because he was holding himself apart from everyone.

111

"Hey, Mom," Nathan knocked gingerly on the door of Deb's office at the organization where she worked.

Deb rose from her desk and motioned him forward, "shut the door."

Nathan allowed her to pull him into her arms and wished that he was five again. That it was perfectly acceptable for him to remain there, "hey, Mom. How have you been?"

"I'll be better when you decide to move back in," she told him but gave him a kiss on the cheek anyway.

"That's why I'm here," Nathan began.

"You're moving back in," Deb smiled.

"No," he replied hastily, "I don't think I'll ever be able to live in the same house with Dad ever again."

Her gaze softened, "after what he did to you at that dinner table, I understand. To be honest that was the last straw for me too. I told him that if he didn't get therapy for his anger that I would leave and take you with me."

"Mom," Nathan took his mother's hand and sat, making her sit beside him, "on Monday Haley and Rachael Gattina, a girl who goes to school with us she's a cheerleader, are going to the cops and pressing charges against Dad."

"Why," Deb was confused. What did this have to do with Nathan coming home?

"They're pressing charges against Dad because he raped them," Nathan spit it out.

Deb sat in a shocked stupor. She had known that Dan had some bad in him but she had never realized that he was truly evil, "he…raped your poor friends? When, how?"

"According to Haley it was the last time she spent the night at our house, and according to Rachael it was the night of my birthday on the beach," Nathan told her the information Lucas had relayed to him.

"Oh my God," Deb's eyes filled with tears, "we got into an argument that night at the beach house. He went for a walk to cool off and came back an hour later. He was so happy and carefree."

He felt his heart constricting deeply within his chest. Why the hell was it his duty to break his mother's heart? Deb wanted to puke until all of the sudden and agonizing pain came out.

Nathan watched in horror as his mother went to her knees and vomited into her trash basket, crying at the same time. He realized that he was just as powerless to stop her pain as he was in stopping his own.

1111

Karen Roe sat in her café waiting for Keith. He had promised to come back here after her went to see Deb. Around twelve that afternoon Nathan had called, obviously upset, asking for Keith to come to his mom's job and help him out. Two hours later Keith had called to relay all of his information to her and she had insisted that he set Deb up at their house. Since she had moved to Tree Hill Deb had reached out to her, hoping that they could all be a family despite Dan being an ass and the initial awkwardness between Nate and Luke. Karen counted her as a friend but wasn't afraid to admit that she was glad Deb was finally getting away from Dan.

"Hey, mom," Luke walked into the café with Haley behind him, "do you mind if we crash your waiting game?"

"What do you mean," Karen asked.

"Keith called me and told me what was going on. Go on home and help her and Nate, we'll close up," Luke told her.

Karen rose immediately, she and Keith had raised an exceptionally sensitive boy, "thank you Luke and Haley. Just make sure the door's locked behind you."

Luke watched his mother leave and then smiled at Haley, "I know where she hides tomorrow's pie of the day."

"Sounds delicious," Haley agreed, but as they ate their pieces she was quieter then usual. When Lucas questioned her about it she replied, "I'm really fucking up Nathan's life."

"No, Dan is fucking up his own life which is affecting Nathan's life. If anyone is fucking up Nathan's life it's Nathan," Luke told her.

"What do you mean," Haley asked.

"He's turning into a completely different guy," Luke explained.

Haley shook her head, "no, it's worse. He's turning into the Nathan he used to be."

111

If there was one person Nathan did not expected to walk into Lucas' bedroom as if she owned the place it was Rachael. He didn't want to see anyone, or maybe he just didn't want the shame that came with being Dan's son.

"What are you doing here," he asked.

Rachael closed the door behind her, "nice to see you too, Scott."

Nathan sat up on his make shift bed on the floor, "can I help you?"

"I suppose Lucas told you what's up," she began.

Nathan nodded, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you weren't the asshole who did it. But you are the asshole who's breaking your girlfriend's heart just because you can," Nathan thought that she was all together too blunt.

"My relationship with Brooke is none of your business," Nathan told her.

"I think it is. It is when you consider that Brooke has been my side for over a month helping me, and holding my hand through my abortion and taking care of me afterward," Rachael was a blunt, graphic person by nature but even she realized his shock, "she never told you, did she?"

Nathan swallowed, "get out, Rachael. My mother will be in here in a second and I don't think she can handle seeing you yet."

Rachael nodded, realizing she probably just made the situation a lot worse.

111

Saturday night brought half of Tree Hill High to Rachael's house. The booze were plentiful and the music was jumping. Brooke had begged Nathan to come but he had refused, well if you call a refusal hanging up the phone.

"I just wish he'd let me support him," Brooke explained to herself as she walked up from the basement with another shipment tub full of jungle juice.

"Talking to yourself now, B," Rachael asked playfully as she took the tub from Brooke and put it unceremoniously on the counter of the kitchen.

"Pretty much," Brooke nodded. She put a hand on Rachael's shoulder, "how are you holding up?"

Rachael shrugged but smiled when the group walked in along with most of the basketball players and cheerleaders, "hey, guys. Grab a drink."

"Let's play 'I Never'," Bevin squealed.

Peyton rolled her eyes, "that game always ends up getting someone in trouble."

Brooke laughed but it died on her lips when she looked toward the kitchen door and saw Nathan walk in. Everyone crowded around him, people did that to him, flocked around.

"We were about to play 'I Never'," Tim told him and handed him a cup.

Nathan smiled but everyone in his group realized he was pissed. Brooke realized that he was seething, "Nate, do you want to go talk?"

"No," he took a sip of his drink, "I want to play. Since when do you ever miss an opportunity to get drunk?"

Everyone laughed, thinking he was joking, but Brooke was hurt. His eyes were hard, he wasn't teasing her, he was aiming barbs at her.

"I never had sex with a vegetable," Bevin took a sip and laughed with everyone else.

Nathan laughed and then looked at Brooke, "I never withheld information from my boyfriend that was extremely important and then vied for everyone's pity when he got pissed. Better drink up Brooke."

Brooke stared into Nathan's eyes and no one moved. She took a long gulp of her drink, "anything else, Nate?"

"Yeah, I never pretended to be a goody-goody and let my boyfriend think I was pregnant when a simple conversation would have cleared up every misunderstanding and given him a head's up about what was to come," his voice rose.

"Nathan," Luke tried to pull him away but he resisted.

"Well I never scorned any one of my friends because I fucked around on my girlfriend and for some reason pushed all of the blame on the girl as if it wasn't mutual," Brooke told him. Haley shook her head, everyone was probably very confused. Suddenly Brooke was defending Haley's bad past, she almost wanted to laugh at the craziness of it all.

"You had no right to keep it from me," Nathan told her, fairly growling.

"Well maybe if you'd grow a pair I wouldn't have to be so worried about how you'd take it because God's knows you wouldn't take it like a man," Brooke yelled back.

"Bitch," he hissed.

"Asshole," it was the first time Nathan had shown her any emotion since Christmas Eve and she was feeling more then happy to let him know how she felt.

"Cunt!"

"Bastard!"

"Brooke," Peyton tried to pull her out side but she was having none of it.

"Whore," Brooke's mouth opened in wide mouthed shock before threw all of the contents in her cup at him.

"Fuck you, Nathan Scott," she wretched her arm from Peyton and marched outside. But Nathan wasn't letting her go.

He followed her into the backyard until they were far enough back and then he took her arm and swung her around, "how could you not tell me? How could you let me believe you might be pregnant? How could you not tell me my father got a girl pregnant by raping her?"

"I couldn't tell you, I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone," Brooke's voice was growing huskier every second.

Nathan knew what that meant, he knew she was about to break down, "I'm not anyone, I'm me! I'm Nathan Scott, your boyfriend, and the son of that bastard. You should have told me, Brooke."

"I will not apologize for being a good friend, for being dependable. You know you would have flipped if I had told you."

"I didn't flip when Haley told us!"

"Because she's Haley, you knew her and loved her, you didn't know Rachael as well. You would have flipped on your father and God knows what he would have done to Rachael, or you, or your mother. I couldn't tell you!"  
"I'm supposed to be able to trust you Brooke. I can have anyone else in my life who's going to betray me," Nathan told her.

Suddenly Brooke sucked in a deep breath, "what are you saying?"

"I'm saying…I'm saying I can't be with you anymore, not if I can't trust you enough to tell me the things that matter. And not if you can't trust me enough to give me your burdens and secrets," he whispered it out, every breath like someone was stabbing him in the heart.

"Nathan," she took another deep breath, ice cold fear written in her eyes, "you can't be serious! We can work this out."

He shook his head and turned to look toward the house. Peyton was threatening anyone who was trying to come outside but the rest of the group and Rachael was standing in open mouthed shock at his words, "it's over, we're over."

"Nathan," she called his name as he walked away but he didn't turn to look at her.

As he walked past Rachael and Haley he nodded, "do what you have to do."

Rachael nodded curtly but Haley just stared in shock. Her words earlier were like some evil prophesy because she wasn't looking into the kind, blue eyes of the Nathan Scott she and their group had grown to love but the cold, blue eyes of the Nathan Scott who had roamed the halls of Tree Hill High with the queen bitch. She was looking at a Nathan who didn't care who he hurt. She was looking at a Nathan Scott who didn't realize he was walking away from his angel of mercy, the love of his life.

Lucas got to Brooke at the exact moment that she fainted and gently lowered her to the ground, he wondered if the pain from a broken heart was enough to make someone faint. But Nathan kept walking, every heart beat was like a hammer to his chest, every breath was his world closing in around him and every thought was of either his father forcing himself on Haley or Rachael. As he walked he decided that he wouldn't care anymore, not about his father and now, not about Brooke. It hurt too much when he did.


	23. Author's Note IV

So I have a huge favor to ask everyone who reviews. In your next review I need you to vote. Here are your two options:

a.keep going with this fic, showing everything that occurs in my normal, detailed manner

b.start another fic that fast forwards these characters, with these problems, to the fall of their junior year (complete with some flash backs, and the results of most of their problems including what happens to Dan, what Deb ends up doing, if Lucas and Haley hook up, and if Nathan and Brooke get back together)

Rest assured that either way, drama is around the corner no matter what. I'd appreciate your vote because I write this fic to entertain each of you. Tell me what you think.

Thanks

-Liz


	24. Digging Yourself Deeper

**The votes are in. We'll be continuing as we've been going. Thanks again for voting and reviewing!**

Nathan had been serious when he had broken up with Brooke. By Sunday night everyone who went to Tree Hill High had heard of their huge fight. By Monday night everyone in the town knew that Mayor Dan Scott was being sued by two teenage girls who claimed he had raped them. By Tuesday morning it was official that Nathan and Brooke had separated. By Tuesday afternoon Nathan was all ready receiving propositions from girls that had called themselves Brooke's friends. By Wednesday everything felt like it was falling apart in rapid cessation.

Brooke sat in her study hall, her mind on a million different things. She would be going with Haley and Rachael to visit their lawyer because the hearing to determine if there would be a trial would be Thursday morning. What she wanted to do was march across the classroom where Nathan was sleeping and beat him until he got it through his stupid skull that they belonged together. She also wanted to scream and cry that life wasn't fair.

"Hey," Jake laid a hand on Brooke's shoulder and squeezed, "he'll come around Davis. He's just hurting really bad. A month from now you know he'll be apologizing every other minute for this shit."

Brooke put her hand over Jake's and nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She was afraid if she spoke all of her insecurities would start babbling out. She couldn't break down now. She had remained strong since her fainting spell on Sunday. Haley and Rachael needed her to be strong until Dan was behind bars. Peyton needed her to stay strong because she had been leaning on Brooke since her mother's funeral all those years ago, Brooke didn't dare take herself away from Peyton. There were entirely too many people who needed her, she only wished that she could add Nathan to that list.

0000

Lucas looked up from where he was washing his hands in the boys' bathroom. He hadn't expected Nathan to come in. It was amazing how well you could avoid someone you lived with when you wanted to. Nathan had been nothing but cordial to Lucas and his family, even though he had been very protective of his mother. Honestly Luke respected the fact that he was stepping up as the man of his family. What he didn't respect was the fact that Nathan had publicly broken up with Brooke and was now making no secret of the fact that girls were throwing themselves at him. So Luke had avoided him at all costs.

"Hey, man," Nathan greeted him.

Luke frowned and dried his hands, "hey."

Before he could leave Nathan grabbed his arm, "why are you avoiding me?"

"Because you're an ass," Luke replied honestly.

"Because of Dan?"

Luke shook his head, "no, our father is not the reason you're an ass, but you are using him as an excuse to be an ass. You're an ass because you're too dumb to see that you're ruining the one relationship that could save you."

"Did Brooke put you up to this," Nathan asked, he almost choked on her name.

"Put me up to what? Going to the bathroom at 9 am? No, Nathan, whatever you may think about Brooke she wouldn't ask me to stake out the bathroom."

Nathan took a deep breath, "I'm sorry if my issues with Brooke have been hindering our relationship. I hope that we'll still be close no matter what happens to Dan."

"Nate," Luke took the shoulders of his brother and wanted to shake him, "you're my brother. We're family, nothing can change that. But I don't have to like the man you're becoming."

"I can't be with someone I don't trust," Nate offered that one sentence.

Luke nodded, "maybe she's better off then. She's deserves better."

Nathan watched his brother walked out and wanted to put his fist through the wall.

0000

Peyton walked over the table where the cheerleaders were sitting. Since Brooke and Nathan's break up the old table had been split in half, the basketball players on one table and the cheerleaders on the other. It was hard on everyone because they had been such a cohesive unit before and now no one knew the rules.

It didn't help that randomly a girl would go up to Nathan at lunch and start talking to him right in front of everyone. Brooke, the soldier that she was, continued on as if seeing him talking to someone else in that manner wasn't killing her.

"Hey, B. Davis," Peyton sat beside her.

"Hello, P. Sawyer, I hope you are ready for practice tonight. The first play-off game is always exceedingly crucial! If we're going to be cheering our men to victory then we have to be on target on Friday," Brooke told her.

Peyton was worried about her. On the surface she seemed fine but she knew her best friend well, Brooke was holding on to a lot of pain and it had only been a few days.

"We have to make an announcement," Haley whispered to her friends as she sat on the other side of Brooke. Haley was pale, as if she'd just seen a ghost.

Brooke took Haley's hand, "what happened?"

Haley's eyes were full but before she could explain a group of kids, who were probably just looking for attention, came out onto the quad laughing. Haley lowered her head, "damn!"

All the basketball players and cheerleaders were looking toward the group as they began to staple up posters of Haley and the question: "does this look like someone who didn't want it?" The picture was rather revealing of Haley in a bathing suit on the last vacation she had taken with the group.

Brooke glanced at the other table and nodded at Jake who was all ready holding Luke back. She rose, as she walked toward the group she felt his presence beside her. This group of kids had no idea what they were coming up against. As Brooke and Nathan stopped in front of the group of six or seven Nathan ripped one of the posters down. They all abruptly stopped laughing.

"I don't know what makes you think that you can take all of us but all of you are sadly misinformed," Brooke began, her voice low and menacing, "you will take down every poster that you have put up in a timely fashion."

"Or what," someone dared to ask.

Brooke looked into Nathan's eyes and nodded. For that moment they were in sync, he spit on the ground right in front of the red headed leader, "or everyone in this group will lose a few teeth."

"And worse then that, you will be the social lepers of this school. We determine who is cool enough to go to parties, to be cheerleaders, and who is acceptable to date. Don't think for one second that any of you will have even a small chance at rising to popularity if Nathan or I mark you. The rest of your time at TH High will be the worst of your life. Now I will say this one more time," Brooke warned them.

Nathan took over, "take down every poster and they all better be down and thrown away before my basketball practice because if my team is late because we had to track any of you down then everyone of you will be more sorry then you can imagine."

Their little game had ended and so they turned, took down the few posters they had put up and left the quad, with the intent of taking down every poster.

As suddenly as it had stopped everyone had begun to talk and play around again. Nathan looked down at Brooke, looked like he wanted to say something but shook his head. She watched him walk away and had to put a hand on her chest because it felt like her heart was bursting out of her chest to follow him.

0000

"That's what I'm talking about," Rachael grinned as the squad stretched, "I love being popular."

Peyton nodded, "it has its perks. Did you see them though? They've always been a power couple."

"He'll come around," even Haley didn't sound sure. Brooke came out of the locker room the same time that Nathan came out of his. They both stopped and looked at one another for a moment before Nathan continued on. Brooke took a deep breath and walked toward her squad.

"All right ladies, everyone take a seat Haley and Rachael want to make an announcement," Brooke stood in between the two girls as they began to speak.

"I know everyone's heard about what happened to us," Haley began.

"So we thought we'd give everyone a general message," Rachael's gaze was daring anyone to piss her off.

"We were raped by Dan Scott. That has no bearing on his sons. Lucas and Nathan were not privy to it and plan to appear in court to support us. Lucas and I are a couple and as you know Brooke and Nathan broke up. We hope that none of you will be decide to become a part of the gossip wheel."

Brooke nodded to them after they sat, "I hope that ends the constant discussions now. Rachael and Haley deserve some semblance of privacy during this time, and support."

Immediately the other girls began to circle them, to hug them and offer their apologies. Brooke smiled at her squad, proud to call herself their leader. But as she looked toward the basketball players her smile disappeared because she had been proud to call herself Nathan Scott's girlfriend and now she wouldn't have that comfort anymore. She sighed, honestly she didn't care what her title was, she just wanted his arms around her.

0000

"I'm nervous," Haley whispered as she waited with her group outside the courthouse.

Brooke squeezed her hand gently. Everyone was there with the exception of Nathan and Deb. Even Karen and Keith had come. Jake's father had agreed to represent their case because he had known Haley for years and was disgusted with Dan. John Jagielski patted Haley's head, "the judge will rule to go to trial. She's a smart cookie, and young too!"

"Look who showed," Peyton mumbled to the group. Everyone looked up to find Nathan, wearing a suit, with his mother on his arms.

Immediately Deb stepped forward and took Haley into her arms, "why didn't you tell me? I would have killed him myself."

Haley buried her head on Deb's shoulder, her surrogate mother for so long, and took in her comforting scent, "I missed you."

"We're glad you came Deb," Karen stepped forward and introduced her to Rachael.

Deb hugged Rachael too, "I'm sorry."

"We all get one get out of jail free card, maybe I was yours. Now you can get the hell away from him," Rachael told her. She looked to Deb's son and nodded, "thanks for coming."

"We support you in what you two are doing," Nathan told her simply.

"Deb," Brooke murmured her name as she was pulled into the older woman's arms, "I know this has been so hard for you."

"It has, but I'll make it through," Deb pulled back but kept her hands on Brooke's shoulders, "women like you and me, we survive."

Brooke didn't have time to question Deb about what she meant or to talk to Nathan, who had moved over to talk to Luke and Jake because the deputy was calling them back into the courthouse.

"On this day January fifth of 2005 I, Judge Elise MacGuire, find the case of Haley James and Rachael Gattina against Dan Scott has enough evidence to be directed to a trial case," the judge nodded her head in the direct of Haley and Rachael, "Dan Scott will be placed into the custody of the City of Tree Hill with a bail set at fifty thousand dollars."

"Thank God," Haley whispered, her hand gripping Rachael's.

Rachael squeezed back and watched as Dan stood up and the deputy placed the cuffs on his wrists.

"Nathan," Dan called to his son as Nathan rose with Deb to leave.

Deb tried to get in front of Nathan but he wasn't allowing it, "don't you dare try and talk to my son!"

"My accountant has the money for bail, call him for me," Dan pleaded.

Nathan shook his head, "you raped one of my best friends, while she was under my protection. You made her afraid to confide in me. You're not my father."

"And you're sure as hell not mine," Lucas added before pushing Nathan toward the door.

"What about you Brookie, you gonna help me out," Dan's voice was harsh.

Before anyone could react Nathan was trying to fly over the railing and into Dan. Lucas, Jake and Keith had to restrain him while the deputies were trying to maintain order.

"You don't get to talk to her," Nathan yelled, "you don't talk to her, you don't think about her, you sick son-of-a-bitch, I'll fucking kill you myself if you ever-"

The rest of his angry ranting was cut off as he was dragged out, Deb and Karen behind him. The deputy was still trying to pull Dan out the other way. Peyton got fairly close to him, "congratulations, you just made the stupidest move you could have made, you threatened Brooke, now you've lost him."

Brooke watched as Dan was pulled out, her thoughts a confused mess. Why had Dan gone after her? If anything she had expected him to direct any comments at Haley and Rachael. Then it occurred to her, he didn't know that she and Nathan had broken up. He had deliberately been baiting Nathan because he had known he would react that way. He was trying to help decrease Nathan's chance of being a successful character witness because of his sporadic temper. He had known that Nathan would flip out if he mentioned his girlfriend. But that begged the question, why would Nathan react that way to someone he professed to care so little about?

0000

Brooke quietly snuck into Luke's room. She was planning on a sneak attack, like finding Nate in the shower and corning him until he came to his senses and realized that she loved him more then life itself. That mission was aborted within ten seconds because the room was dark and she tripped over Nathan's sleeping form on the floor.

The bedside light flashed on and Nathan groaned, "damn it, Luke, how many girls sneak in here a night?"

Brooke looked up and realized that Haley was in bed with Luke. She smiled, "so I see that this isn't a unique idea."

"I don't like to sleep alone either," Haley gave her a small smile.

"Fair enough," Brooke replied.

Luke yawned to cover the sudden urge to laugh out loud. Nathan was sitting up on the floor, Brooke beside him, "the parents and Deb are out doing something or other so the living room is yours if you need to talk."

"I have nothing to say," Nathan promptly replied.

Brooke's eyes conveyed her sudden hurt at his words, "give me a chance!"

"I'm not interested," he insisted.

"Nathan," Haley's voice, soft and pure sounded harsh. She was their innocent cherub.

He rolled his eyes, "fine, five minutes."

"Forget it," Brooke's pride rose up, "if I'm such a terrible inconvenience."

"Good," he agreed and settled back down.

Her eyes filled despite her inner struggle to hold it in. She turned on her heel and left slamming the door.

The sudden quiet in the room was surpassed by the growing agitation, "go see if she's okay," Haley whispered to Luke.

Nathan rose suddenly, rolling his eyes, "I'll go!"

0000

"Brooke," Nathan called down the block. He had never met a woman with the ability to run down a whole block in stilettos expect her. He caught up to her and she finally stopped.

"Why," she asked.

He frowned at her back, "why what?"

"Why did you try and attack him? If you hate me so much then why did you try and attack him for me?"

"Because I don't want him to think that it's okay to rape anyone," Nathan explained.

Brooke shook her head, denying what he said, "no, you tried because you love me Nate. And I love you, more then anything. I can make everything up to you. I'll apologize everyday if you need to hear it that often."

He turned her and had to fight to contain his emotions when he saw her tears. He wondered if it would ever get easier for him to tell her that they were done, he suspected that it wouldn't, "I don't want to be with you anymore."

"You can't mean that," she denied.

"I do, Brooke, I don't want you," he turned and very slowly made his way back, trying with all of his might to drown out her sobs.


	25. Say Goodbye To The Game

With the trial date set for Valentine's Day and Dan safely in prison until then everyone took a collective breath. For a while everything went back to a semblance of normalcy. Except for a few key changes: Nathan had suddenly decided that he didn't want to play basketball anymore. He said it was because he didn't want to anymore, Luke thought it was because he didn't want any connection to Dan. Without the Raven's other star player they quickly and quietly lost their season. While it was sad and a bad way for it to end, no one was really surprised. Brooke had lost her spirit, Nathan had lost his love of the game, and the world had pretty much tipped upside down.

"Brooke," Haley called as she and Peyton walked through her house.

"Brooke Davis," Peyton called.

"In here," Rachael's voice sounded from the kitchen, "bring some of the booze from the study. We're going to need it."

Haley and Peyton walked into the kitchen a few moments later and stopped in their tracks. Brooke was in full melt down mode. She was wearing her pajama's, her hair was a mess, and she was stuffing her face with spoonfuls of Butter Pecan ice cream.

"Jesus, I haven't seen her this bad since Brian from the Backstreet Boys got married," Peyton muttered to Haley.

Haley went about doing what she did best, mothering. She poured four shot glasses full of brandy, "to calm us all down."

Brooke took her shot and then continued to sniffle. This method was a tried and true method for picking yourself up when life seemed to be giving you low blow after low blow. In the past weeks Nathan had denied her every attempt to reconcile their differences. After the hearing to determine when the trial date would be had been the last straw.

She had caught him as he had been walking to practice alone.

"_Nathan, wait up," she had caught up to him and stayed in step beside him despite the fact that his strides were massively longer then hers._

"_What do you want now," he asked not even sparing her a glance._

"_I want you to come to your senses but since you're not ready I guess I just want you talk to me. We used to be friends Nathan. Before we were ever anything else," Brooke reminded him._

_He stopped, "are you saying you want to be my friend?"  
"I always considered you my best friend," Brooke admitted. And it had been true Nathan had been more then a boyfriend, more then a mere high school sweetheart. He had been in her heart long before high school. _

_He started to walk again, "I don't want to be your friend."_

"_Why not?"_

_He stopped and turned to her, "when will you get it through your head that I don't want to be with you? Let me make this perfectly clear. I don't want you as my girlfriend, or as my friend. I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to look at you or hear you, I don't even want to know you!"_

_Even he had seemed shocked by his words and his depth of passion. And for the first time Brooke didn't argue back. He didn't want to know her. _

_She swallowed hard and nodded. There was simply nothing left to say. Nothing to argue for, she didn't want this Nathan Scott back, she didn't even recognize him. _

"Oh my God, I cannot believe he said that," Peyton gasped.

Brooke nodded and tears ran down her face again, "it's really over. He doesn't want me anymore."

Peyton and Haley shared a look, Brooke very rarely gave up on something when she really believed in it. But now she sounded like she truly was letting it go, and it was tearing her apart.

"Take another shot," Haley poured another for Brooke and then herself. This was some tough shit. Even when she had been trying to get Nathan she had still never pictured him with anyone beside Brooke.

Rachael dabbed at Brooke's tears as Haley poured another shot. Peyton shrugged her shoulders, "it's Friday, basketball is over, let's get sloshed!"

"The best idea I've heard all day," Brooke agreed, she took the bottle under her arm, her ice cream in one hand and sniffled her way into the living room.

1111

Luke, Jake, Keith and Jake's father were helping Nathan and Deb move into their new home. Their new condo wasn't nearly as big as the old house but neither of them had wanted to remain in a house where Dan had committed his worst sins. It was a nice neighborhood and the house was nice. It had four bedrooms and a big kitchen, and Nathan still got his own bathroom. Not that he'd be showering with anyone for a long time.

Since his last talk with Brooke he had been doggedly avoiding the female population of Tree Hill High. He didn't want to make this transition any harder for her, but he had been afraid he'd have to sleep with one of the groupies for her to get the take home message.

"…so Haley and Brooke turn around and dropped it right there in the middle of the kitchen," Jake was cracking up as he relayed the story to the other men.

John nodded his head, "my wife had a fit and grounded all of them. Like they were our kids, but the girls adhered to all of the rules until the two weeks was up."

Nathan smiled he remembered that story but as he thought about it he could only see Brooke. She had become a professional at making herself scarce; he hadn't seen her for more then a brief second in weeks.

"I think that's it guys," Nathan smiled at the group of men.

The guys nodded and Keith clapped Luke and Nathan on the back, "what do you guys say to pizza?"

"Sounds good," Nathan agreed and tried to push down his thoughts.

1111

"Okay, seriously, why are we here," Nathan finally put his foot down and asked his captors.

Peyton and Haley grinned, "we are here, at this fine establishment because we haven't had time with you in a long time."

"Tell me she is not going to show up halfway through dinner," Nathan frowned.

"No," Peyton shook her head and refused to speak another word about it.

Haley signaled him to look through his menu, "I've been waitressing here after school on Fridays since basketball ended and I can tell you from experience that Karen makes an amazing roast chicken."

Nathan was still mulling over Peyton's quick and decidedly angry response, "you promise?"

Haley didn't pretend not to know what he was talking about, "tonight she's out with Luke and Jake, like you're out with us. They made plans to go to the restaurant on the docks."

"Okay," he looked over the menu.

The tension slowly slid way as the three friends talked and joked. It was almost like old times except it was rather obvious that they were divided. But for a moment it didn't matter because Nathan could look at them and see the girls he'd known for more years then he wanted to acknowledge.

"I used to love your braces," Peyton told him dreamily, her earlier tension gone for now.

"Really? I hated them, I was convinced that they would never come off," Nathan told them.

Haley laughed out loud at her thought, "remember when you had that huge piece of broccoli stuck in your teeth at summer camp during the camp photo?"

Peyton laughed with her and eventually Nathan joined in. It was the first time he'd laughed in a long time.

1111

Brooke tried to stop herself from being dragged from Jake's truck to the chair at the restaurant but one thing she figured out was that basketball players were stronger then they appeared. Luke plopped her unceremoniously onto the chair and sat down with Jake.

"I'm not hungry and I'm a mess," she huffed.

"You also haven't hung out with us in a long while," Jake added.

"And you also haven't been eating well," Luke shook his head in disapproval.

Brooke pulled her sweater up shivered, "it's cold."

"Because you're nothing but skin and bones. Damn, don't you eat at all Davis," Jake asked.

Brooke thought of the copious amounts of ice cream she'd been eating since the last time she'd spoken to Nathan and shrugged, "some."

"You have to take better care of yourself," Luke chastised her gently.

"It's hard to remember. I have so much going on and sometimes I just forget to eat," Brooke lied. The truth was that food was unappetizing. Why should a chocolate cake or a piece of roast taste good when her taste buds were numb. All she could remember was numbness. If she thought about the pain then it would consume her.

As the evening wore on Brooke grew more comfortable, remembering why she had considered Jake a brother and Luke a trusted new friend. They took her mind away for a moment and she actually found herself eating some of the steak they had ordered for her.

The evening grew warmer so Brooke slipped her sweater off, she didn't notice the boys as they glared at her ridiculously skinny arms. It was obvious that she had lost too much weight.

Afterward they insisted on buying her ice cream for dessert. When Luke noticed Nathan and the girls at the stand he quickly directed Jake and Brooke toward his mother's café where she sold some basic soft serve.

But the girls and Nathan had noticed them. Nathan stood in shock, "what the hell happened to her?"

Peyton refused to answer, her mouth set in a hard line of disapproval. Haley just sighed, "she doesn't eat much, she doesn't have an appetite."

Nathan just shook his head, her arms had been disgustingly thin, and she had seemed so disheveled, he'd never seen her like that. Not even on her worst day when her parents had upset her and she and Haley hadn't been speaking.

"You told her you didn't want to know her, Nathan. Did you expect her to take that well," it was the last time Peyton would mention Brooke for the rest of the night. Her take was that if he wanted to know then he'd talk to her himself.

Haley sighed again this time even longer and followed the pair as they began to walk down the pier.

1111

Brooke had gotten his text message around midnight. She arrived at the River Court in time to see him sit on the picnic table, his ball between his ankles.

"You said it was important," she was proud of herself for keeping her voice so strong and steady.

He looked up and into her eyes and in that small moment she remembered every single emotion she had ever felt for him burning through her until they finally rested in the gaping hole that had once held her heart.

"You need to take care of yourself," Nathan muttered.

Her eyes widened, "what?"

"You can't go on like this. I don't know who you think you're going to be able to be strong for if you end up in the hospital because of malnourishment."

"You cannot do this," Brooke told him quietly.

"What," this time he was confused.

"You can't tell me that you don't want to know me and then text me out of the blue and tell me to take care of myself! Either you want to be on my side or you don't. You cannot keep playing with me like I'm a yo-yo."

"You can't keep going like you are! You have to eat," Nathan had risen.

Suddenly she understood, she took a step back, "do you think I'm doing this for you? Do you think that you're effect on me is so powerful that I would chose to starve myself if I couldn't have you? Or worse, I would starve myself to get your attention?"

He shrugged and she could only release one bitter chuckle, "well let me tell you. I haven't eaten because I haven't been hungry. I used to think that I couldn't go on without you but I was wrong. I don't know why you're punishing yourself or why you pushed me away but I will tell you one thing, it's over."

"Brooke-"

"No," she held up her hand, "I went to you over and over, crying and begging for you to take me back. I dropped my pride and my reputation and my shield for you! And now you think that I'm starving myself because I can't have you. I haven't had an appetite because every time I think of how I begged I want to puke. Every time I think about how I cried for you I want to vomit. I can't eat because I make myself sick, Nathan. Thinking about how I let you rub my face in the dirt over and over makes me sick, literally, to my stomach."

Nathan's mouth dropped open as he watched her tears well up and swell over. She stood in front of him, fifteen pounds thinner then was healthy, her hair a mess, no make up, yet as her self-respect grew to palpable sizes she had never seemed more gorgeous.

"Everyone is so amazed about how I'm obviously the one suffering while our break up has had no effect on you. Not anymore. I don't need you to feel good about myself. I don't need you to feel validated. I don't need to feel your arms around me at night and I don't need the security of your love. I'll be just fine on my own," she took a deep breath but even then her voice was cut out by sobs, "I don't need you, Nathan Scott. I deserve better!"

Nathan watched her walked away and even after she was long out of sight he was still standing there. The wind picked up and his ball rolled to his foot. Absentmindedly he shot the ball toward the hoop. It missed, it was a shot that he had knocked over more times then he could count yet he had missed. Brooke had said that he wasn't affected by their break-up. She didn't know that he was affected in one of the worse ways he could be; his game was gone.


	26. Your Wish Is My Command Now Live With It

Valentine's Day, a day made for lovers, was a day spent inside of the courthouse for the group. Opening arguments had stated each side clearly. Dan was contesting not guilty on both counts, it was going to be a he-said-she-said, Haley and Rachael could only hope their character witnesses were powerful enough to sway the jury. In short order John, Jake's father, had Haley relay her story. Dan's lawyer, a savvy son-of-a-bitch with a taste for the fine life had no qualms about biting into Haley's story.

"So was there anyone home when Dan allegedly raped you," his name was Don Ranger, Haley would have thought he was attractive if he wasn't so damned arrogant…and representing the very scourge of the Earth.

"No, no one was home when Dan raped me. Brooke and Nathan were at school waiting for his bus and Deb was in Virginia at a conference," Haley replied.

"Why didn't you go to the bus," Don asked.

"It wasn't mandatory for all cheerleaders to go. Most only went because their boyfriends were on the team," Haley explained.

"So there is no one who could defend on your behalf that Dan Scott was even in the house with you," he asked.

"No, but-"

"No more questions," Don told the judge, completely cutting Haley off.

Rachael faired no better, he cut her story into ribbons even making her wonder if Dan raped her. He was good! She glared at her enemy across the room and nodded her asset, he had hired the best. But she would be damned if she let him win.

The judge called a half hour break. The girls spent most of that time listening to Brooke and Peyton try and cheer them up and the boys semi-circling around them so some of the crowd would be cut off.

"We need a witness," Haley sounded like she'd almost lost faith.

"A witness would be good, but not completely necessary," John told her.

Brooke squeezed her hand, "bad people pay, Hales, its all a fact of the universe."

"What makes you an expert," Haley laughed uneasily.

"It's karma," Brooke replied with a shrug, "you get what you give."

Haley nodded, something had changed in Brooke. She believed Brooke, something in Brooke was strong, and Haley was going to hold on like it was her anchor.

2222

Peyton had been called up to the stand first to contest as a character witness for Haley. She had been uncomfortable just hearing the trial, now being a part of it, she was shaking.

"How long have you known Haley," John asked Peyton gently.

Peyton was glad he got to question her first, "for close to seven years. I joined our group of friends when I was nine."

"Tell us about her," John told her.

"She's kind hearted and pure. She's like a mother, she likes to make the people she loves comfortable and safe," Peyton replied.

"What do you mean by pure?"  
"She's the innocent of the group. She was always the person who was the odd man out in a fight and who wanted to get married and have two point five kids," Peyton grinned at Haley.

"Has she ever changed your opinion of her?"

Peyton frowned, "about a year ago she had a falling out with our group. She had tried to take Nathan away from Brooke and had been caught."

"Did this change in Haley occur after the Riverside/ Tree Hill away game," John asked.

Don rose, "objection, your honor, leading the witness."

"I'll rephrase," John smiled at Peyton again, "when would you say this change occurred?"

"After Thanksgiving, so it would have been after the Riverside/ Tree Hill away game," Peyton told him.

"No further questions," John winked at her before sitting.

Don stood gracefully, "so Haley only tried to steal Nathan once?"

Peyton said nothing for a moment before she spoke, "no, she tried again a few months ago. But she's redeemed herself. She explained the whole situation."

"Is it possible that Miss James was just tired of being social ostracized? That she made up this ludicrous story just get back into your good graces?"

"Absolutely not," Peyton really was frowning now, "that's not the Haley I know."

"As opposed to the Haley you haven't really spoken to in a year?"

"That's not fair!"

Don shook his head with a grin, "life isn't fair. No more questions your honor."

2222

The judge had called it a day after Jake's testimony had went much the same way as Peyton's had. Haley and Rachael both knew they were in trouble, without real physical evidence it was very possible that the charges would be dropped. And worse, Dan had finally set bail. One thing was for certain, no one was going to be sleeping good in Tree Hill that night.

"So we're doing double occupancy," Karen looked at the group of teenagers in her café and then squeezed Deb's hand.

"What do you mean," Rachael asked.

"Until this is over and as long as Dan is on bail we don't want any of you living alone," Deb still couldn't get over it. Rachael's parents had point blank refused to take time out of their busy schedules to support their daughter. Haley's parents hadn't picked up their phone or returned any messages. Haley insisted that they were probably just out of range, as usual.

"Peyton, we were assuming you'd be staying at Jake's house," Deb winked at her, "now Rachael and Brooke will stay with me and Haley will stay at Karen's. We just figured it would be better for Haley's character to stay away from any house Nathan's in and that Haley would feel safer with Luke anyway."

"There are going to be rules," Karen told Lucas, who had been grinning at Haley.

Nathan glanced at Brooke, she hadn't complained about living in his house. He wondered if her little speech from the other night had been a joke. He sighed, who was he kidding? He was hoping against hope it was a joke.

2222

"You all right, B," Rachael whispered from her side of the bed that night.

Brooke nodded, "yeah, I'm going to be okay. I'm not quite there yet, but I will be. It's my goal."

"Is it hard to be in the same house, right next door to him," she asked.

She didn't speak for a long second. Was it hard? Brooke hadn't ever been able to relate to torture until she had taken her shower knowing that Nathan was less then ten feet away from but didn't want her. Yeah it was hard but she said, "kind of. We've made our peace. He doesn't want me and I refuse to spend my life waiting for him, pining after someone who doesn't realize what a prize I am."

Rachael didn't say anything for a long moment, "in my old school there was a boy. Back when I was a fat ass. He loved me for me but I could never see what he saw. When I got expelled from that school I left him behind too. I can't even imagine what you're going through right now. You're amazing."

Brooke was surprised to feel Rachael take her hand and even more surprised when she felt herself squeezing it back. Neither of them said anything. Sometimes silence spoke louder than words.

2222

Nathan took the stand on the Friday after Valentine's Day. He had prayed that neither side would require him to testify. For some reason he had believed his father would do the right thing and leave his son out of it.

John's questions had been easy, he'd known Haley forever and suddenly she had changed. She was a good person who wasn't prone to excess or changing her character periodically. However when Don questioned him he had been surprised.

"How often to you get into altercations?"

Nathan blinked, inadvertently his gaze shifted to Brooke, he had been ready to kill Dan when he had tried to speak to her. She nodded ever so slightly, obviously she could still read his mind. Had his father really gotten him to take the bait and attack him just so he'd be a bad character witness?

"As often as necessary, I suppose," Nathan replied.

Don was surprised by his answer, "when is it necessary to react with physical violence?"

If Dan was going to hit below the belt then Nathan would do the same, "after my father hits me."

The silence was palpable. Suddenly the judge was pissed and called both counselors to her, "not only do we now have two rape charges against minors, now we have physical violence and endangerment of a minor? Counselor you'd better advise your client to call his accountant, his bail has been raised to seventy-five thousand dollars."

Brooke was next, and it was obvious that she hated being there as much as Nathan. Don tried some of his mind games on her, make her second guess herself, "where did you meet Miss Gattina?"

"The first time I talked to her was at Tree Hill High School," she continued on honestly, "but the first time I saw her was at a bar in Greenville, making out with some guy."

"Knowing that she has a reputation for coveting older men and getting severely intoxicated, what makes you think she's being honest about Dan Scott raping her?"

"Because she's a smart girl," Brooke smiled at him, "she normally holds a shield up to protect herself. Very few people get to see who she really is because it's her way of protecting herself. I can't dispute the validity of her thinking. She is a girl who is terminally blunt and will tell you what she thinks despite your feelings. Also, she has no reason to lie. She's all ready very popular, very rich and very beautiful. And despite the fact that she has a reputation she's never gotten pregnant before. If she has a reputation for being severely intoxicated yet she's always remembered a condom then why wouldn't she that time?"

Don conceded her victory, she was his first worth adversary, "after Haley tried to steal your boyfriend twice, how can you trust her?"  
"Because one thing is obvious; people do not just randomly change. You can't be a perfectly nice girl who adores and dotes on her friends and then suddenly turn your back on them for no reason. Her change happened after the away game, she had been alone in that house with Dan and everyone knows that he is evil. He has a record for beating his son and there are a lot of witnesses to that."

The day had ended with Brooke still on the stand, she would have to go back on at the next date. John gently ruffled Brooke's hair, "you did good."

"I'm just glad I'm helping to put him behind bars," Brooke replied quietly. That had been hard.

2222

Brooke woke up on Saturday and slowly made her way out the door. Rachael had spent a significant time pacing last night over her cell phone. Brooke could tell she wanted to call her old boyfriend but had too much pride. She hoped that it would turn out better for Rachael then it had for her.

"Hey," Brooke bumped right into Nathan.

She practically jumped two feet back, "what?"

"I was just coming to wake you two up," he explained, "my mom made breakfast."

"Let her sleep, she was up late," Brooke explained.

Nathan watched her walk toward the bathroom and wanted to follow. He felt his feet trying to shuffle behind her but he knew he had no right, he had convinced her too well that he didn't want her.

2222

The girls were sitting in Haley's studio, enjoying their time alone, away from overprotective males. Lately everyone had been watching Haley like they were afraid she was going to melt into a big puddle of emotion. And if they hadn't been watching Haley they'd been badgering Brooke to eat better. Jake had actually started to join her for meals so he could remind her to take bigger bites.

Peyton was gently kneading some clay into a small sculpture of a man, Rachael was flipping through her magazine, Haley was strumming Lola and humming out a gorgeous song and Brooke was sketching furiously on a pad. Brooke was sketching? Everyone came to that thought together.

"Brooke," Peyton put her little statue down, "what are you drawing?"

She looked up and seemed to assess them before turning the paper over, "don't laugh."

"That's cute, I would totally buy that," Rachael told her.

Brooke looked surprised, Rachael wouldn't lie to her, "really?"

"Yeah, that's totally chic," Haley agreed. Brooke had always had an eye on fashion and it seemed like she was starting to use that eye to actually design now.

Peyton looked at the next one, "did you draw these on your own?"

"Yeah, I've had time on my hands," Brooke replied with a grin.

It was the first time they had seen that grin in a long time, too long.

2222

Brooke didn't want to talk about this. If there had been one thing that she hadn't wanted to talk about it was this. She glared at Don and he just smiled back, he knew she would have to give up this one.

"I'll ask again. Are you sure Haley hasn't won? You and Nathan have broken up, haven't you?"

Nathan made eye contact with her, but Brooke knew she wouldn't be able to do this if she looked into his deep blue eyes.

"No, Haley hasn't won because she knows my relationship with Nathan wasn't a game. Nathan and I split amicably. It had nothing to do with her actions and everything to do with the stress of finding out that his father was a rapist. The stress of believing it immediately because his father had a record of hitting him and just being an all around bad guy."

"Is it true that he broke up with you after finding out that Dan had allegedly raped Rachael? How do you know Rachael isn't helping Haley?"

"I don't know what kind of friends you have but my friends are honest people. Rachael and Haley couldn't stand each other for a long time. Quite honestly, this has made us all closer because now we know for a fact that family are the people you chose to call friends. Nathan broke up with me because we're two different people. That happens in high school, you grow apart. I will always have a place in my heart for him, he is an amazing individual with more love to give then he knows, despite Dan's attempts to beat that out of him."

After a few tense moments Don sat, "no further questions."

A few days later a pair of khaki slacks that had been tossed into the bottom of Dan's closet came into custody with the vaginal secretions DNA tested that revealed them to be from one Rachael Gattina. Without doubt Dan would at least be put away for having sex with a minor. It was over, as quickly as it had started.

2222

Nathan felt remorse in his heart because his father had been such a bad person. He wanted to believe the best in Dan, like he thought every son did. But now that it was over he felt an overwhelming need to tell Brooke the truth, about how he felt and why he'd pushed her away.

He knocked gingerly on the bedroom door beside his. Rachael opened the door, as he walked in she walked out, her ear glued to her cell phone. Brooke was on the bed sketching. Since when did she sketch?

"Hey," he greeted her.

She didn't look up, "we don't have to do this."

"Do what," he asked.

"You don't have to do this small talk thing because you feel guilty about me. I'm fine, I'm eating and I'm doing my homework. I'm doing everything expected of me," she still hadn't looked up from her sketch pad.

"I do feel guilty," he conceded gently.

"Don't," she finally looked up. Her gaze made him take a step back, it was completely devoid of emotion, "because I don't care."

"You don't mean that," he replied immediately.

She shook her head in disbelief, "what, are we switching places? Yeah, I do mean that. I don't care. You did a damned good job of pushing me completely out of your life. You're good."

He watched her walk into the living room in shock. This time Nathan was looking at someone he didn't recognize. There had never been a day since the first time he could remember seeing Brooke when she had looked at him with anything other then love in her eyes. Yeah, sometimes anger or sadness but it always mingled with love. Now she looked at him with complete indifference.


	27. The Fight To Save A Soul Pt1

Friday, March 7, 2005

Tree Hill High

Lucas stood behind Haley, who was on the side of Rachael, who was in front of Jake, who's arm was Peyton, who's hand was holding Brooke's tightly. They were all shocked but Brooke was seething with anger…

"I'm going to kill him," Brooke told them through clenched teeth.

Monday, March 3, 2005

Karen's Café

Nathan sat with Luke and Haley, eating one of the best breakfasts he had ever eaten in his life. He just didn't realize it because ever since Brooke had told him she no longer cared about him nothing had mattered.

"Nate, will you try and follow the conversation," Luke waved his hand in Nathan's face with a grin.

"Sorry," he took another bite of his eggs.

Haley and Luke traded a look. Haley put a comforting hand on Nathan's forearm, "how are you?"

"Fine," he replied, then he looked into her eyes and saw the trademark Haley-is-worried-big-time-about-you look, "why?"

"Ever since your Dad was found guilty you've seemed so cut off from us. I know that your heart is aching, I'm sorry," Haley told him.

Nathan smiled at her but it felt as if his face hadn't contorted in that way in a long time, "it's not Dan. He deserves what he's getting."

"Told you," Luke stuck his tongue out at Haley.

"That was mature," Haley grinned at him. At Nathan's questioning look she continued, "I thought you've been so miserable because of your father's situation, Luke thought that it was because of Brooke."

"She told me she didn't care about me," Nathan enlightened them.

"You did tell her that you wished that you had never known her," Luke reminded him.

"Yes, thank you, Luke! In case I forget that I said the stupidest thing in my entire life, I'm glad that you're around to remind me," Nathan's was getting irritated.

"Okay," Haley sent Lucas a scornful look, "that doesn't sound like Brooke. Tell me exactly what she said."

Nathan relayed everything about the last conversation he'd had with Brooke, not leaving out her looks or mannerisms, and he remembered it word for word.

"That's classic Brooke with her shields up to her chin," Haley murmured.

"So you think she's just hurting so she was lashing out," Nathan was begging for anything to hold on to, Brooke had been his hope for so long that he didn't know how to find any without her.

Luke shook his head, "I think she's working overtime to make herself not care. I don't think she wants to forgive you. I mean, she had been begging Haley to accept the fact that she had forgiven her. With you, she just can't seem to function around you. Quite honestly I think you're bad for her health."

"I don't fully agree with that," Haley interrupted her boyfriend, "I think she wants to forgive you but she's lost hope and faith in the fact that you'll come around. You did a damned good job of pushing her away. Now you'll have to work twice as hard to convince her that you'll never do it again, that you'll strive to make everyday with her the best day of her life."

"Wow," Luke and Nathan were both looking at her.

She blushed, "what?"

Luke kissed her cheek with a smile, "you should be a writer."

"I'm a musician, it's what I do," she replied. For a moment their eyes met and held. It seemed as if a silent exchange was occurring between them. Finally Nathan rose. Haley looked up in surprise, "where are you going, school doesn't start for another half hour."

"I know, but I forgot something," he lied.

Luke nodded, "see you in History?"

"Yeah, I'll be there," Nathan was telling him the absolute truth that time.

Tree Hill High School

Brooke hated History. Not just because Mrs. Smith wore ridiculously bad clothes or because it was at eight in the morning but because the first day of class they had all been assigned the seats they would sit in for the rest of the year. Guess who sat behind Brooke. It was pure torture to sit in front of Nathan, his scent seemed to creep around her and suffocate her.

When Brooke walked into class most people stopped to greet her. She smiled around, winked at a few people who probably swooned and then finally sat in her chair. She turned to her right, "hey, Luke, where's Hales?"

"She's in the bathroom," he replied.

Brooke nodded her head and sat up straight. She would not acknowledge the gorgeous boy behind her. She would not turn around and slither her way into his lap and have her way with him. She would not give him a lap dance. She would not lick the place on the side of his Adam's apple that would make him stand at attention.

"…Miss Davis?"

Her teacher's voice calling her snapped Brooke back to reality, "I'm sorry, what?"

"I was asking if what you were thinking about was more interesting then today's lesson," Mrs. Smith's voice was angry.

Brooke gave a little wink, "oh, yeah, if you get my meaning!"

Mrs. Smith huffed while the students laughed. Brooke had to snap herself out of this daylong fantasizing she'd been doing. It was getting her into more trouble then she was used to. She sighed and dropped her chin onto her fist, if only her life was more interesting. But then she shook her head slightly, interesting led to pain and she was one hundred percent not interested in anymore pain.

Tuesday, March 4, 2005

Peyton's Kitchen

Nathan was sitting with Jake in Peyton's kitchen. Peyton was somewhere else in the house doing some angry sketching so Jake had called Nathan over so they could chill.

"Why is she doing angry sketching," Nathan asked as he sipped his beer.

Jake took a hard gulp of his, "I pissed her off."

"How'd you manage that?"

"I told her the truth," at Nathan's look he continued, "we were at the boutique on Main St."

"Oh, I know where you're going with this," Nathan interrupted him.

"She tried on four hundred different dresses and they all looked fine. I don't know what the hell she wants from me! I told her they looked fine and she flipped out, I told her I'd go home and she flipped out again. I don't get it, she doesn't want my opinion so why does she ask and why couldn't I go home?"

"If you went home you would've played on your X-box all day and you wouldn't be getting punished," Nathan replied.

Jake nodded at his words, "she's smart."

"Yeah, Brooke used to-" he cut himself off. He had to stop, he wasn't with Brooke anymore. All because he was a stupid idiot with shit for brains.  
"How you doing anyway," Jake asked slapping a hand on his shoulder.

"I fucked up with her," Nathan admitted.

"Duh," Jake replied.

"I don't know how to work this out. I fucked up royally and now she doesn't want anything to do with me. She doesn't even care enough to hate me," Nathan told him.

"You know what you need to do," Jake sat again and finished his beer, "you need to catch up with her, tie her to the bed or something and spill your heart. Then of course you should have some seriously long, satisfying sex. You know, the kind where she won't think of bitching for at least for a few hours."

"Jagielski, where are you," Peyton's voice came from the living room.

Jake snatched his beer and Nathan's and threw the cans into the trash can, "in here, baby."

Peyton walked in and was surprised to see Nathan, "hey, Nate, how are you?"

"I've been better," he admitted.

She nodded and cupped his cheek affectionately, "well, you should tie her to a chair or something and just tell her everything until she listens. But first you should be sure that you'll never be fucking up like that again. I'd have to kill you."

Nathan nodded, "I'll leave you to dish out your punishment."

Jake grinned until Peyton scowled at him, as Nathan was leaving Peyton stopped him, "and afterward you should have some serious steamy you and her time."

"Good luck," Nathan called back to Jake as he closed the door behind him.

Brooke's House

It was beginning to be a problem. Sleeping, focusing, and on top of that she was beginning to see him everywhere. She'd be talking to Rachael and suddenly Nathan's head would pop up. She'd be watching America's Next Top Model and there Nathan's head would be, floating in the middle of Los Angeles. She'd be in bed, so tired she could barely move but as soon as she closed her eyes he'd be there. Her heart still had a persistent and steady ache. She didn't remember what it was like to live without it now.

"Ah," she screamed out loud. She pulled out her ever growing pile of designs and looked at them. The only time she seemed able to focus was when she was sketching out her designs or working on them in some way. It was getting later and she still hadn't been able to stop thinking about him. She pulled out some material and some scissors, it was time to do the one thing that could take her mind of the whole damned situation.

Wednesday, March 5, 2005

Tree Hill High

Rachael watched as Nathan told yet another groupie that he was one hundred percent not interested. The girl just put her hand on his chest. She shook her head and marched toward the pair. She got in front of Nathan and in the girl's face, "you're touching someone who doesn't belong to you."

"From what I've heard he doesn't belong to anyone," the girl licked her lips.

"Honey, put that away, no one wants to see it. He said he wasn't interested and he's not. Now step off before I have to make you," Rachael told her.

"Who are you," the girl asked with obvious contempt.

"I'm Rachael Gattina, you know my cheer captain Brooke Davis. And I'm sure you know me, but if you don't I'm sure you'll never forget me," Rachael slapped her out of the way and began to walk, Nathan behind her.

"Thanks, she wasn't giving up," Nathan told her as they walked through the hall.

Rachael looked up at him, "look, she's hurt. She's put herself in a nice little shell to protect herself and doesn't plan on coming out for a long time. You better have a whole arsenal of ways to get her back because she is certain that you are all wrong for her. But the one thing you know about Brooke is that when she loves it doesn't just disappear. You tried to squash it but it's still there, maybe a little torn up, maybe a little battered, but it's there."

Nathan watched her walk away in wide eyed surprise.

Thursday, March 6, 2005

Karen's Café

Brooke was sitting with the girls eating a baked potato and steak. It was the first time they had been able to catch up in a while. She was enjoying the banter and the shop talk.

"I cannot believe they're breaking up," Haley wailed.

"I know, Angelina is such a hussy," Brooke agreed.

The big story of the day had been that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were breaking up and he was sleeping with Angelina Jolie.

"Who the hell saw this coming," Rachael shook her head in disappointment.

"I hope she goes all crazy 'Waiting To Exhale' style on him and if he sues her and I'm in the jury I'll be like, 'burn baby, burn, you suck Brad Pitt'," Peyton was probably more upset then everyone else.

"And Britney Spears," Brooke began.

"What about her," Haley asked in confusion.

"Mark my words, she's too naive, she'll be the typical Hollywood crazy in a few years," Brooke told them.

Peyton rolled her eyes, "yeah, right."

"How are you guys enjoying your dinner," Karen asked from behind the counter, they were all sitting at the counter so they could face the television and watch E!.

"It's so good," Brooke replied.

Karen smiled, it was good to see Brooke filling out again, she had been too thin for a while. The door chimed behind them and Karen focused on the stranger, "can I help you?"

"Yeah, I was wondering if you could help me with directions. I'm not from around here," the stranger replied.

Rachael's breath hitched as she turned around, "Mouth."

The boy was tall and lean, with spiky hair and a huge grin, "hey, Rach."

"It was awful," her voice broke on a dry sob.

"I know," he nodded and Rachael launched herself into his arms.

"Who's that," Peyton whispered to Brooke.

Brooke smiled, remembering, "her man from her last school. He loves her just because she's who she is."

Haley smiled but then frowned when her cell phone vibrated, "I have to take this, guys."

"He's cute," Peyton said. Jake walked into the café and motioned for Peyton to come over. They had still been arguing since the other day and it looked like he was ready to make up, "I'll be right back."

Brooke looked around and realized Haley had gone to the back to talk and Karen was taking care of other customers. She was alone, as usual.

Deb's House

Nathan had been unusually quiet during dinner and Deb thought she knew why. Karen had enlightened her to what had been going on between Nate and Brooke, as told by Haley, Karen's newest waitress.

"Honey, I want to talk," Deb began.

"Mom, we've had this talk," Nathan teased her good-naturedly.

Deb smiled but put her fork down, "I heard that you broke up with Brooke and that you were rather mean to her."

His face dropped, "yeah. I was a real piece of work."

"Why would you say all those things to her? She's been your best friend since you were infants!"

"I know," he shrugged, "I just didn't want her to think that we had a chance."

"But you're so miserable without her, and now I hear that you alienated her enough that she doesn't want anything to do with you. True friends are so hard to find. Do you really have so many that you can afford to throw away a few?"

"I'm not good enough for her," Nathan finally admitted.

Deb was taken aback by that, "why do you say that?"

"My father raped two of her best friends. My father used to beat me and I never lifted a fist to defend myself. I'm from bad blood and I'm a coward. She's brave, and courageous and beautiful and everything that I'm not. She deserves someone as amazing as she is."

"No," Deb rose and pulled Nate up with her, "you are not a coward. You were in the most impossible situation. How could you hit your father back when you'd been raised to believe he was a demigod? You did what you could and as for your bad blood. Your blood doesn't make you into the man you are. Your genetics, your history, they can shape you but only you can choose the man you'll become. Is that man someone who'll hurt his best friend because his self-pride is broken and bent?"

"She said she didn't care anymore," Nathan's eyes were full of tears.

Deb smiled, "you know Brooke better then anyone else in this world because she's let you into every cavern of her heart and soul. Do you really think she doesn't care?"

"She's hurt but her love isn't fickle, it doesn't end," Nathan admitted.

"Then get your mind right, baby, and go after your dreams," Deb wiped away his few stray tears and then her own, "now I have to tell you something."

"Go ahead."

"I'm filing for divorce," she whispered.

Nathan laughed out loud and lifted her and spun her around, "thank God!"

Friday, March 7, 2005

Tree Hill High

Lucas stood behind Haley, who was on the side of Rachael, who was in front of Jake, who's arm was around Peyton, who's hand was holding Brooke's tightly. They were all shocked but Brooke was seething with anger…

"I'm going to kill him," Brooke told them through clenched teeth.

**To be continued…**


	28. The Fight To Save A Soul Pt2

Monday, March 10, 2005

Tree Hill High Gymnasium

"Come on Davis, you and I both know the truth," Nathan was talking to her from across the gym.

Brooke's eyes remained cold and hard, "all I know is that I don't care."

"That's not true, I refuse to believe that. You admitted it last night. I fucked up but I know you love me because even when we're not near each other my heart is calling to yours. I'm so in love with you I can't see straight. Do you hear me Brooke, I love you. Be the strong woman that I know you are and swallow your fear. You know I'm the guy for you and I know without doubt that you are the girl for me," even from their terrible distance she could see his honesty and feel his passion.

The thunder outside echoed in the dark gym as Brooke opened her mouth to reply…

XOXOXOX

Friday, March 7, 2005

Tree Hill High

Lucas stood behind Haley, who was on the side of Rachael, who was in front of Jake, who's arm was around Peyton, who's hand was holding Brooke's tightly. They were all shocked but Brooke was seething with anger…

"I'm going to kill him," Brooke told them through clenched teeth. Hanging from the rafters of the school was a huge banner that read: Brooke, I'm an ass, forgive me. It wasn't a small poster either, it stretched multiple feet and the letters were probably as tall as Brooke.

Everyone was staring at her but she didn't care, there was only one person on the entire face of the planet who she wanted to see. She began to march toward his familiar face, as she was speed walking she passed Rachael's man, "hey, Mouth, enjoy your visit to Tree Hill High. Nathan James Scott, basketball locker room, now!"

Nathan tried to hide a grin, at least she wanted to talk to him, even if it was just to yell. Phase 1 was complete.

Mouth walked up to the group, "so I take it that's the Nathan you've been talking about."

Rachael nodded and then grinned, "she's gonna whoop his ass."

"Without doubt," Peyton agreed finally closing her mouth, and they all started forward.

XOXOXO

"You are never to do anything like that again! Take it down. Take it down now! Can you even put up a banner with the word ass on a school? Just take it down," she yelled at him.

Nathan watched her pace in front of him and felt overwhelming waves of longing to hold her. She stopped and stomped her foot and then swore when she stubbed her toes on the bench. Nathan helped her sit and then squatted to look at her toe. The moment his hand touched her bare foot the world stopped. He looked up and into her eyes and watched her swallow, "forgive me?"

For a long time she couldn't speak, he could practically see her thoughts behind her hooded eyes. Suddenly she yanked her foot away, "you are not going to do this to me. You are not going to try and be my friend or be my boyfriend after you yanked my heart out of my chest and tap danced all over it!"

"Just hear me out," he begged.

"No," she put her finger in his face, he winced, Brooke Davis was pointing the pissed finger in his face, "I don't owe you a damned thing. Now take down that banner and refrain from ever speaking to me again. Do you understand?"

"I was an ass, there is so much that I have to tell you. So much that you should know," his voice was pleading and Brooke almost let him speak because when he pulled out his puppy dog eyes she just wanted to melt.

"No, I don't need to know anything because I don't care Nathan. I don't care about whatever you have to say. I'm not going to let you say all of your bullshit just so you'll feel better. I want you to hurt as badly as you've made me hurt. But now I'm fine because I don't care. Now you will take down that banner. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I understand," he watched her limp out and his hopes fell.

XOXOXO

Karen's Café

"How'd it go," Deb asked Haley as soon as the teen entered.

Haley began to tie her apron on and smiled at Karen, who was also intrigued by the drama. It reminded her so much of her teenage years, "so Brooke saw it and flipped. I don't know the details of the exchange because she took over the locker rooms. She actually kicked a gym class out and they couldn't change, but none of the teachers even dared to yell at her about it. All I know is that she bruised her toe somehow and that Nathan said that he hadn't won her back yet."

"She needs to give him a hard time," Karen told them and poured Deb some more coffee.

"I agree," Deb added, "he's so stubborn. Now he has to face the master of stubbornness."

Nathan walked in, dejected and sad. Karen smiled, "what are you doing here?"

"Haley asked me to be here," Nathan replied.

"Yeah," Haley smiled at Karen, "do you mind if I borrow your roof and miss work for like two hours?"

Karen lifted an eyebrow in question but Deb cut in, "I'll help out. I've got nothing else to do."

"Are you sure," Karen loved her friend but was also well aware that she had been born rich and her job included a comfy chair that she could sit in all day.

"A little hard work never hurt anyone," Deb replied, "you kids go ahead."

Haley smiled her thanks and pulled Nathan up stairs.

XOXOXO

Saturday, March 8, 2005

Rachael's House

"Why is it that you refuse to close your blinds," Mouth groaned as he woke, "no one in the world likes to wake up to bright light in their eyes."

Rachael snuggled on his chest, Mouth was probably the scrawniest guy she had ever slept with but he was also the guy who had slept with her when she had weighed her most, "I love the light."

"Since when? You've always been a lady of the dark," he replied.

"I missed you," Rachael told him with a smile. In public she wasn't a touchy feely person who liked to tell her man how much she loved him, but in bed she was the most giving person. She could be herself.

Before he could reply and tell her how long he would be staying the door burst open. Brooke stood in the doorway, "you're supposed to be the friend that doesn't have anyone in their bed so I can come over anytime and share."

"You can definitely come join this party," Mouth told her with a grin.

Rachael slapped his chest and grinned as he sprinted toward her bathroom. She sat up, pulling the sheet to cover her breasts, "what's up B?"

"Nothing, can't a girl come by and visit," Brooke asked and pouted as she sat on the bed.

"Yeah, right, it's," Rachael paused and looked at her clock, "nine in the morning. Tell the truth, you're missing him. Did you get any sleep at all last night?"

"Maybe," she continued to pout.

Rachael squeezed her hand, "listen to what he has to say. It couldn't hurt."

"That's just it," Brooke was about to bare her soul when Mouth came back out.

"Can I join," he asked.

Rachael grinned and Brooke sighed inwardly. She couldn't interrupt anymore, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Why in the world would they plan the Spring dance on a Sunday," Rachael asked.

"So no one drinks," Brooke shrugged, her good natured mask on, "but you know we will. Won't be the first time I've gone to class with a hangover!"

"Are you sure you wanna go," Mouth asked. He recognized need when he saw it. She seemed strong, like Rachael said she was, but he could also feel the sadness emanating from her.

Brooke nodded, his voice was so kind. She understood completely why Rachael had allowed this one guy to see her true self, he seemed deserving. But then again Brooke had thought Nathan had been deserving and she had been wrong. She could only pray for her friend's sake that Rachael had better judgment.

XOXOXOXO

Deb's House

Brooke was sitting in her car in Deb's driveway. She had been sitting there for a while trying to make herself make a decision. On the one hand she wanted nothing more then to storm the house and tell Nathan she would do whatever he wanted she just wanted to be with him. But she didn't, not really, because she never wanted to be the weepy, shell of a girl she had been before. She wanted to be with him with the new self-respect she had found. She wanted to be assured by God himself that Nathan would never hurt her again.

A sudden knock on the window startled her, she looked up to find Deb and rolled the window down. Immediately Deb wiped away the tears Brooke hadn't realized she had shed. Brooke sniffed it back. She wouldn't break down, she had been good since that day at her house with the girls, she wouldn't cry again. She was strong!

"Go home, honey, you're not ready to decide anything right now," Deb whispered.

Brooke nodded and shifted into reverse, "thank you."

Deb watched her drive away and shook her head, her son had put himself and Brooke in a fine mess.

XOXOXOXOX

Tree Hill Gymnasium

"Why am I here," Luke asked as he looked around the gym he had spent so much of his first few months of Tree Hill in.

"Because you're my boyfriend and I am a cheerleader," Haley replied absentmindedly.

Luke looked confused, "I understand why I would need to be here if it the dance was actually occurring now. Why am I here to decorate?"

"Because we are just poor little girls and you are our strong men," Peyton replied, answering Jake's unasked question, "there's no need for us to do any crazy heavy lifting if you're here."

Just then Brooke ran past them yelling, "didn't I say that the posters should be hung from the rafters? Do you think I talk just to hear myself speak?"

"What crawled up her butt," Haley asked.

Peyton kept folding her designated napkins, "I have a feeling that Nathan's little act of love hasn't settled well with her."

"Little," Luke, Haley and Jake asked in unison.

"Big, little, whatever," Peyton shrugged, "either way it forced her to speak to Nathan and to hear at least a little of what he had to say."

"What neither of them realize is that this is a fight to save a soul," Haley mention as she sorted through the cups.

Peyton nodded but Jake was curious, "what do you mean?"

"Nathan thinks this is about making things right so they can be happy, Brooke thinks this is about holding herself back so she doesn't get hurt again and she thinks that will solve all her problems. This is about the fact that they belong together. This is a fight to save the soul that they share."

"She is definitely a songwriter," Luke told Jake with pride.

Just then Nathan walked in and looked around. Haley took a seat, "this is going to be so much more interesting then anything else we would have been doing tonight."

Peyton, Jake and Luke nodded in agreement. Nathan spotted Brooke and stalked over to where she was pointing to the rafters and yelling at some sad freshmen, "Davis!"

She turned around, her hair flying, in surprise, "what are you doing here?"

Nathan bent his head down and captured her lips with his own, he felt his heart thud painfully in his chest because in her moment of shock she had kissed back. Finally, hands on his chest, she pushed him away, "what are you doing?"

"I was kissing you," he replied.

"You can't go around kissing whoever you want without their permission," Brooke chastised him but unconsciously she sucked in her lower lip just to get one more taste of him.

Nathan couldn't help but stare at her mouth after that, "there's no one else I want to kiss."

"That may be so, but you cannot kiss me like that," Brooke argued.

"I have to go," he suddenly told her, she was still reeling from his first kiss when he cupped her cheeks and pulled her close for one more long kiss, "I'll see you tomorrow. I love you Brooke."

She just stood there as he left in shock. Her heart was flipping out, doing cartwheels and tumbles everywhere. She felt tingles in her toes and in the roots of her hair, not to mention her stomach had hit the floor the moment he had walked in.

"She is _so_ still into him," Peyton began to fold her napkins again.

"Oh yeah," Haley replied.

XOXOXOXO

Sunday, March 9, 2005

Brooke's House

It was somewhere around four in the morning when Brooke realized that she hadn't slept. How could she? The imprint of his lips was like a permanent stain on her soul. How the hell was she expected to keep up her front and stay safe from all of the pain he could put her through if she let him run around and kiss her? She couldn't risk it, Nathan had broken her heart without a qualm she could never trust him with it again.

She rose and pulled out the huge roll of fabric that had been in a bedroom close to hers that had become a sewing room. She didn't look at the pile of clothing that held a label that read: Clothes Over Bros. She didn't consider the fact that she was making a new dream of hers come true, because the old saying was true. Nothing mattered without love. But what whoever wrote that hadn't known was that love hurts.

XOXOXOXO

Lucas' House

Luke gently woke Haley. His mother was an extremely early riser so Haley had to wake up early the days she came over to stay with him. She snuggled into him, "what?"

"Wake up," he kissed her awake and then felt her hands going for a walk.

"Umm," she moaned out but was startled into sitting up when Luke's door flew open. What she saw in front of her made her heart hitch.

"Brooke," Lucas was all ready climbing out of bed and toward her.

Haley hadn't realized it was raining but Brooke was soaked and shivering. Haley grabbed a towel from the back of Lucas' door and pulled it around Brooke.

"It hurts," she cried out and fell to her knees between them, the pain endless. Nothing could stop it this time. She had been sewing for three hours but her mind wouldn't stop going back to him. She needed him, no matter how much she claimed she didn't care, she did. She couldn't stop loving him but she couldn't make herself trust him again either. This was so unfair. It felt like her soul was trying to rip itself out of her body to go with him when her head knew perfectly well that he'd just crush her again.

Her sobs only grew heavier and more upsetting, they seemed to match the weather. It was getting darker instead of lighter with the day and Haley knew that she couldn't help her. She had to get it out. Luke bent down and held her as she shivered and cried.

"Listen to me," Haley bent with them and ran a comforting hand over her hair, "you have to stop trying to fight your emotions. Just take a second and look at them, examine them. Figure out what you really want and then make a move. No one is expecting you to make a decision before you have time to really consider it."

"I want it to stop. I want him to have never made me doubt my faith in him. I want him to stop pretending like one big apology and a few kisses are going to mend my heart after he put it through a shredder. I just want to breathe, you know? To just really sit and take a breath but I can't because I can't breathe without him. How can I choose not to be with him when I can't breathe without him?"

Luke looked over Brooke at Haley. He had been waiting for Haley to make the first move for so long and just when she'd been about to Brooke had a crisis. He wasn't upset with Brooke but he was wondering if the universe was trying to tell him something.

"Let's get her to the bed," Haley told him gently, her eyes telling him that they would take it up later.

XOXOXOXO

Tree Hill Gymnasium

The Spring dance's motto was "A Place Where Your Dreams Can Come True." Brooke almost wanted to puke over her handy work. The gym had been transformed into a room that was straight out of a Parisian garden, made for love to blossom and for hopes to become reality. Brooke took another hard sip of the spiked punch.

Rachael danced with Mouth, some people had questioned Rachael's choice in a mate but she didn't seem to care. In fact she had slapped a loud mouthed freshmen who had dared to insult Mouth for no good reason.

"I don't want you to leave," Rachael whispered to him, afraid someone would hear how desperate she'd become since Dan had raped her.

Mouth held her close, amazed at how lucky he was to have gained her trust, "what if I didn't have to leave?"

"It doesn't matter, you have to get back to school. Your parents are mad as it is," Rachael replied.

"What if I told you my parents have decided to move here," he asked.

Rachael looked into his eyes, "don't play games with me."

"You know I wouldn't," he replied.

She threw her arms around him in surprise and happiness. Meanwhile beside them Jake was holding Peyton close as they danced. She had decided to wear her mother's dress, it was a gorgeous green but it was her spirit that made it beautiful. His beautiful blond angel.

"I'm sorry that we've been arguing so much lately," he told her.

"Me, too, I've been really cranky and overbearing," Peyton admitted.

"Well that's true but I've been insensitive and so wrapped up in keeping Nathan's spirit up that I haven't been paying as much attention to you as I should have," Jake told her.

"Let's do better," Peyton asked.

Jake smiled as he bent to kiss her rose colored mouth, "I can agree with that."

Luke smiled over Haley's head at the two. They had been having rough times but it appeared that Brooke's amazing talent for decorating and throwing a party was better then any of them had thought. If he knew anything about making up it appeared that Jake and Peyton were doing just that. He looked over to where Brooke was standing alone during this slow dance and wished the same for her and Nate.

"Why isn't anyone trying to dance with Brooke," Luke asked.

Haley snuggled, "beside the fact that Nathan put out a message to every person with a penis to stay away from her, she's giving out classic don't-you-dare-approach-me signs."

Luke reveled in Haley, she smelled amazing and tonight with her hair curling everywhere and her figure hugging gown she looked every inch a nymph, "what do you say we get out of here?"

"Just what I was thinking," Haley replied with a grin and began to pull him toward the exit.

"Excuse me, ya'll," Bevin's excited voice interrupted the magic of the dance, "I'd like to make the announcements for Spring Dance's prince and princess."

Brooke rolled her eyes and gulped the rest of her punch, "Nathan Scott and Brooke Davis!"

"Shit," she muttered. But then she saw Nathan moving toward the middle of the floor and her feet started to move without her consent. They'd danced like this a million times before so they knew exactly what the other was going to do and exactly where they fit best against each other. He smelled so good.

"I was worried that I wasn't good enough for you because I have a fucked up family, and I was too cowardly to stand up against Dan," he whispered.

Brooke didn't say anything for a long time, "are you telling me you think you did this for my own good?"

"For what I thought was your own good, but then I realized you're a big girl, you can make your own decisions and I shouldn't be using you as an excuse to be even more cowardly. I want to be the man that deserves you, let me try."

Brooke leaned on him for a long time, "you hurt me. I don't want to care about you. I don't want to hate you and I sure as hell don't want to love you. But consequently I vary between the two. This morning when I was too tired to move but I couldn't sleep, I hated you. When I think of the fact that I've spent more time with you then any other person on the planet, I love you. When I was crying so hard that I couldn't breathe and my body ached, I hated you."

"Let me spend every day making it up to you," he begged.

The music ended and Brooke pulled away with a simple, "no."

XOXOXOXO

Karen's Café

"Why are we on my mother's roof," Lucas asked. Haley peeled her hands from Luke's eyes to reveal her surprise. Luke laughed out loud at the mini golf green she had built on the roof, "how?"

"With a little help from Nathan I had this place up and running," Haley replied.

"So now I'll have enough time to practice so I can kick your ass," Luke told her.

"You wish," Haley replied.

Luke looked down at her and felt something curious happen in the middle of his chest. He'd admired Haley's strength, and been awed by her talents but he'd never felt this feeling with her before. It made him want to lay her down on the fake grass and show her that rape wasn't sex. That rape wasn't making love to someone you loved. That when two people came together physically it could be more magnificent then anything else on the planet, maybe even the universe.

"I love you," Lucas whispered as he cupped her cheek.

Her eyes widened and then she looked up with a smile, "it's snowing!"

XOXOXO

Monday, March 10, 2005

Tree Hill High School

Brooke had gotten a phone call that morning from Nathan begging her to come to school despite the fact that it was an official snow day. The snow had started around ten last night and hadn't stopped. She didn't know why she had agreed to come. She should have left last night as it was and let them both move on. But something happened to her rational brain when he called and said he needed her.

She walked toward the gym where the light was on. Nathan could always find a way of getting into the gym. As she approached the door she heard an eerie burst of thunder from the south and the snow began to turn into hard, cold, rain.

She ran the last few feet and jumped into the gym. The moment she walked in she realized that no one had clean up after the dance. Her Parisian garden was a heap of paper, easily torn apart, like her heart.

"I'm glad you came," Nathan's voice sounded behind her.

Brooke turned, "you said you needed me."

"I do need you, I need you in my life, beside me, forever," he explained.

She rolled her eyes, "is that really the best you've got?"

"No," he stopped in front of her, "I have years of love. I've got faith. I have faith in us."

"Well I don't! Maybe it is high time I let you know this Nathan, I'm not willing to get hurt again. I don't have faith in you," she yelled at him.

They both stood in shock at her outburst for a long moment before Nathan pulled her to him and kissed her. It wasn't the kind, compassionate kiss he had given her on Saturday. It was passionate and hard and it seemed to mingle with the thunder and the growing sound of sleet and hard rain.

"No," she pushed away, "you are not going to do this to me again."  
"I love you and I will never give up on you, on us," he stood to his full height meaning every word with every fiber of his being.

Brooke turned on her heel, she couldn't handle this. Before she had time to consider that the weather was getting worse she was all ready outside, drenched. The rain was hard and soaked her to the bone; occasionally she felt hard sleet. The thunder boomed and the lightning flashed and she realized in startling clarity that she could very well get struck. But what did it matter! Everything was messed up. She and Nathan were never supposed to be an issue, they were supposed to be her constant.

"Are you fucking stupid," Nathan's voice behind her startled her but not as much as his arms lifting her and carrying her back to the gym. He dropped her unceremoniously on the lowest bleacher, "what the fuck is wrong in your head? It is freezing, we're having an ice storm and it's thundering and lightning!"

Brooke shivered and just stared at him. Her entire body ached to be in his arms, she was so sick of fighting herself. But she knew it was for her own good, her heart wouldn't take another break, it would simply shatter.

He bent down and cupped her cheek, "don't do shit like that. If I lost you…"

"You'd move on to the next groupie," she filled in.

"I never touched any of them," he promised.

"I don't care Nathan. How many times do I have to yell at you and tell you. I don't care about you," she repeated, begging herself to believe it. She rose and walked to the other end of the gym. She couldn't think when they were so close to one another.

"Come on Davis, you and I both know the truth," Nathan was talking to her from across the gym.

Brooke's eyes remained cold and hard, "all I know is that I don't care."

"That's not true, I refuse to believe that. You admitted it last night. I fucked up but I know you love me because even when we're not near each other my heart is calling to you. I'm so in love with you I can't see straight. Do you hear me Brooke Davis, I love you. Be the strong woman that I know you are and swallow your fear. You know I'm the guy for you and I know without doubt that you are the girl for me," even from their terrible distance she could see his honesty and feel his passion.

The thunder outside echoed in the dark gym as Brooke opened her mouth to reply, "I'm afraid."

She had yelled the words at the exact moment the electricity went out but neither of them moved, "I am too. I'm afraid I won't be good enough for you, I'm afraid that one day you will really convince yourself that we're not meant to be, I'm afraid I'll end up like Dan."

With every word he spoke he took a few steps toward, "I'm afraid that I'll never get another chance to prove to you that I can be the Nathan Scott that you need me to be."

"I'm afraid that you'll take what's left of my heart and destroy it because you don't have enough faith in me to tell me about your insecurities," Brooke yelled at him, this time her tears were spilling over, but it felt as if every tear trail represented her pain flowing from her, "I'm afraid that I'll never be able to let you back in and we'll both lose out. And I am deathly afraid that if I don't get to have your arms around me one more time I will shrivel up and die."

Nathan caught her up into his arms and held her to him and felt her arms squeezing around his neck as she sobbed, "I love you so much Brooke. More then you could ever know."

"I love you too, so much," she agreed.

And in that dark gym, in the worst ice storm Tree Hill had ever seen, a day after the dance, their dreams came true.


	29. Come Back To Bed

"I love ice," Brooke murmured into Nathan's neck the next morning. Tree Hill had shut down. The town had never had over three inches of snow in any given winter so a freak northern ice storm was unheard of. Everything was cancelled, school, games, shops were closed and most of the power was still out.

"Why," he asked sleepily. Brooke had kept him up for hours. They had made love so many times he could barely move but his heart was thumping wildly, still unable to believe that he had the girl of his dreams in his arms.

"Because now we don't have to move," she replied.

Nathan squeezed her a bit, "if it had been a perfect day out we still wouldn't have moved."

"I love you Nathan, I can't tell you how much, in how many words," Brooke told him.

Nathan felt himself grow rock hard at her words. They still had things to talk about, to get straight, but for right now they were exactly where they needed to be, doing what they had to do. His lips moved over hers hoping he was conveying his adoration. Judging by her moan, he assumed that he had.

0000

Haley smoothed her hand over Lucas' chest again. She loved how muscular he was. The only other guy she'd come close to being with, of her own free will, was Nathan and he was much leaner then Lucas. She almost stuck her tongue out, just thinking of herself with Nathan caused a fleeting sickness. It was insane to her that just a few months ago she had believed that they were supposed to be together.

"What are you thinking about," Lucas asked.

Haley smiled around his dark room, the power in Tree Hill was still off. She loved the stillness, the complete lack of sound.

"I'm thinking that I'm ready," she replied.

From beneath her Lucas stilled completely, "what do you mean?"

"I mean that I'm ready for you to show me the difference between _that_ and making love with you," Haley whispered.

"In order to make love the two people have to love one another," Lucas had admitted his feelings but Haley had yet to.

"Well then it's lucky that I'm in love with you too," her lazy grin only got larger as she saw his genuine and complete happiness.

Suddenly he rolled over until he was looking over her, "you are so beautiful. I want you, more than anything, but I don't want to rush you. I'll still love you even if you're not ready today."

"What if I wasn't ready tomorrow either," she wondered.

"Then I'd still love you even then, and even if you weren't ready ten years from now. I didn't fall in love with you because of sex, I fell in love with you because you're amazing, the type of person I strive to be," his eyebrows were drawn together in seriousness and he was looking into her eyes as he spoke every word.

"That's why," she smiled at him, "I know I'm ready. Because even if it turns out I'm not, I know you won't forsake me."

Lucas seemed to assess her as his blue eyes caught and held her hazel set, finally he bent his head and caught her mouth. A few hours later, as Haley lay sated in Luke's arms, thanking the Gods for Karen and Keith being away, she remembered that she hadn't heard from Brooke in a very long time.

00000

"You looked amazing on Sunday night," Mouth told Rachael. She was walking in from her bathroom, her body slick from her shower.

"You've told me that a million times," but she was grinning because the compliment never got old.

"I say it because it's true, you were the most stunning girl there," Mouth told her.

If she were the type she surely would have swooned by now. His words were so amazing to her because she knew that every time he saw her he didn't see the Rachael everyone in Tree Hill saw. He saw the fat girl who had let her attitude and anger go and let him in. He saw the girl that no one in the entire world except for a select few got to see.

Mouth caught her off guard and pulled her onto the bed and into his arms before she had a chance to fight back. He held her tightly, "when I heard about what happened…I've never felt rage before, Rach, never in my life. But when I got your message and we talked that night, I wanted to kill him. I wanted him to stop living."

"Don't," her voice was small, pleading.

"What you went through," he squeezed tighter, afraid of his own thoughts, "was unforgivable. He shouldn't be allowed to live, he shouldn't be allowed to function."

"It wasn't that bad," Rachael tried to assure him.

Mouth's hand went to her stomach and he felt her stop breathing, "he gave you a child that you had to give up. He took any semblance of innocence you had left. He took your options. I hope that he lives the rest of his life in the worst agony possible, or better still, I hope he just dies and burns in hell."

Rachael shook, her body was trembling. She felt it coming, the unending wave of unfairness that washed over her. That she should be the unlucky one in the wrong place at the wrong time. And then it finally came, with one small hiccup she began the long, healing cry that would cleanse her, finally, of Dan Scott. Mouth just held her as she sobbed and trembled and rocked. And then he held her, when hours later, she stopped. He held her while she was in her second shower of the day. He held her as he gently made love to her. And in his way, he healed her.

0000

Peyton stretched gratefully before extending the Marlboro red to Jake, he took a fleeting drag and then another before finally stamping the cigarette out. Neither of them smoked, it was a nasty habit, but after any marathon sex sessions they had begun the ritual of smoking one cigarette together. A habit that Brooke would cringe at and Whitey would kick his ass for.

"Good stuff," Peyton told him and rose.

Jake followed and together they brushed their teeth. It was funny because they were both completely naked. Plus Jake had the amazing talent of making his penis flop around on a whim which he did vehemently while they were seeing to their dental hygiene.

Peyton ended up spitting out a mouthful of toothpaste at his antics, which in turn caused Jake to do the same. Before long she was backing him into the shower, what the hell was one more time after twenty-four hours? But as the day wore on Peyton remembered that Brooke had been alone after the dance and probably still was.

0000

"Oh yeah, baby, I'm gonna-" Nathan's words were cut off as Brooke's bedroom door was slammed open.

"Holy shit," Luke's eyes were wide as saucers. Brooke screamed in surprise.

Haley tilted her head to the left before asking Lucas quietly, "can we do that?"

"Good position," Rachael commented from behind Haley.

"Tricky though," Peyton agreed.

Jake grinned at Mouth, "welcome to the family!"

"Does anybody fucking knock ever," Nathan asked. He didn't want to move because if he did Brooke's legs would fall and they'd all see her goodies.

"Okay people, down stairs," Haley directed the traffic out of the room and after one last peek closed the door behind her.

Nathan looked down at Brooke who looked thoroughly put out, she was so adorable that Nathan just took possession of her left leg once more and with a nice trick of the hips determined to finish them off.

Fifteen minutes later Brooke and Nathan walked into the living room where everyone was sitting. Peyton, Rachael and Jake were talking while Mouth and Lucas were playing on the chest set and Haley was gently tapping the keys on the piano. Everyone looked up when the pair entered, Nathan in his shorts and Brooke in a long tee-shirt and what appeared to be his boxers.

"What the hell are all of you doing in my house," she asked right off the bat.

"We were worried that you were all alone," Peyton replied.

Brooke smiled at that, "ever hear of a cell phone, worrywort?"

"We were going to cook you dinner," Haley pouted.

"With no electricity," Nathan asked.

"She has a gas stove," Haley replied promptly, "and what the hell are you doing here?"

Nathan grinned down at Brooke, "I think everyone knows what we were doing."

Brooke hit his chest with the back of her hand, "Nathan and I have reconciled out differences."

"Since when," Luke asked.

"Since yesterday," Brooke shrugged. Then she looked up at the guy she loved and turned humble, "nothing really mattered except being together, everything else will come in time."

"I love you," he murmured into her hair.

"Can we get to the food," Jake begged.

Peyton rolled her eyes, "he makes it sound as if I'm starving him."

"Let me go get changed," Brooke gave in.

That night they spent their time as a group in Brooke's house with candles and a fireplace to light their features as they ate their food and enjoyed each other's company. Around eight that night the lights came back on.


	30. Acceptance and Neglect

Back to reality, Nathan thought a few weeks later. He and Brooke had been floating in some surreal bubble for the past two weeks. Days were spent in school staring at each other in the classes they had together and thinking about one another in the ones they didn't. Nights were spent in her bedroom…or her kitchen, or her living room, or her bathroom. They had talked a bit more about what Nathan had told her about feeling like he was less of a person because of his father, but all in all they had been avoiding the big getting back together speech. For the time being they were just Nathan and Brooke, together, the way they should be. But as Nathan eyed the piles of shirts, sweats, dresses and underwear in the room beside Brooke's that had once been a guest room he realized that a lot had happened in the weeks they had been apart; things that Brooke should be talking to him about. It was definitely time to get back to reality he thought again.

"Nate," Brooke's voice sounded in the hallway.

"In here," he called back.

She came in and looked around, the room was still a bit chaotic from the last night she had spent in there sewing furiously, "what are you doing?"

"These are amazing," he looked up, "did you design these yourself?"

Brooke stepped forward and smiled down as she gently smoothed a red dress that she thought would look superb on Rachael, "I designed them and sewed them. I had a lot of time on my hands."

"They're amazing," he repeated.

"You coming with me or are you going to meet me at school," she asked.

Nathan stared at her hard, "tell me about these. When you started and what you plan to do with them."

"Never mind," she overrode him, "school starts soon."

"Brooke, don't discount these just because you created them when we were going through a rough time," he hit the nail on the head.

"Look, we'll talk later, but if I'm late for History one more time I'm going to fail," she finally got her way, Nathan begrudgingly dropped the yellow panties he'd had in his hands and followed her out of the room.

0000

Lucas was waiting for Haley on one of the very rare days she was running late. He was standing in her hallway, pacing when he noticed that her answering machine was blinking. He pressed the play button and listened in surprise: "March 6, 2005 at 2:20 pm, hello, this Damien Duke, a producer for Southern Belle Records, I've just received a copy of your demo and would like to discuss the possibility of signing you onto the label to record your first album. Please call me back at 1-252-791-0002, extension 47. Thank you!"

"Luke," Haley murmured behind him.

He turned in surprise to look at her, "you're getting signed?"

"I don't know, I was surprised to hear from him. I didn't send my demo out," Haley explained.

"You have to do it," Luke declared immediately.

"Actually, I don't," she replied.

"Haley, this guy is a producer for one of the biggest record companies in the South," Luke reminded her.

She sighed, "yeah, I know, but I don't want to sign. I'm happy strumming Lola in my spare time. I don't need a record to feel validated."

Luke shook his head in surprise. Haley was telling him that she wasn't taking the biggest opportunity ever afforded her.

"Come on, we're going to be late," Haley told him.

Luke followed her out of the house but he was still thinking about what he'd learned.

0000

Nathan sat beside Jake at the recently revised group table. Everyone seemed happier together again. Soon Lucas joined them. Jake looked at both of them, "all right, Nate you can go first."

"Brooke started designing and sewing a clothing line. Her clothes are amazing but she won't talk about it. I think it's because she created it while she was still so upset about us," Nathan replied immediately.

Lucas nodded, "somehow Haley's demo got leaked and Southern Belle Records wants to sign her but she won't. I don't have a clue why."

"She has stage fright," Jake replied.

Luke's eyes widened, "how do you know that?"

"She had to sing a solo in seventh grade choir and puked in front of everyone," Nathan supplied.

"She just doesn't seem the type to let anything stop her," Luke was realizing that while he was steadily learning more and more about Haley, the people in their group knew infinitely more about her then he did.

"As for Brooke, you're probably right. When she decides to forgive someone and give them her all she cuts out everything that might remind her of when she wasn't with them," Jake told Nathan.

Nathan huffed and then put his head on top of his crossed arms on the table, "I'll have to talk her into telling me."

"Good luck," Luke replied immediately. Then he sobered, "and I'll have to get Haley to do a live performance. Once she realizes how easy it is and gets comfortable maybe she'll record."

This time Jake smiled, "good luck."

0000

"I think I have a solution," Nathan walked into Lucas' room as he said the words barely a week later. He was surprised to see Lucas at his laptop typing furiously. He was either really behind on an essay or he was writing an angry letter to someone, "who's the letter to?"

"It's not a letter, it's nothing," Luke replied. He shut his laptop and turned his swivel chair so he could look up at his brother, "what's up, little brother?"

"I have a solution," he repeated. He sat on the edge of the bed, "do a fashion show of Brooke's clothes to Haley's music."

Lucas' mouth fell open, "you do realize neither of us will get laid for months?"

"I know Brooke, she won't budge on this and I know Haley equally. There is no way she'll just jump into a live performance, this is a perfect solution," Nathan told him.

"How will we get a hold of all the clothes and know how to put them together? How will we get Haley's demo?"

"You underestimate the abilities of our female friends, Peyton and Rachael want both of them to succeed as much as we do. If worse comes to worst, I can get the clothes, Peyton and Rachael can put them together and get the cheerleaders to model and if you can send Haley's music to my computer then I'll make a disc and we can play it," Lucas could almost see the wheels in his brother's head spinning.

"Where would we have this show," Lucas asked.

Nathan grinned, "I'm glad you asked!"

It took Luke a moment before he began to shake his head vehemently, "my mother would never go for it."

"As a matter of fact," Nathan grinned, "she already has."

Luke stared in awe at the Nathan in front of him. He was truly a sight to behold when he was fighting for something that he was certain was right for Brooke. He wanted to sigh in relief, Nathan and Brooke were going to be okay.

"If we do this," he leaned forward, "then we'll have to be stealth about it."

0000

"How's it going," Peyton asked as she sat beside Brooke on her bed.

Brooke took a long sniff of her room, "it smells like smoke in here you should stop burning those incense."

Peyton steadily ignored her comment, "so I was wondering if you had completed that blue dress yet."

"The one with the sequined hem and the halter neck," Brooke asked. She had created a lot of blue dresses because the color had reminded her of Nathan's eyes. She almost sighed at how corny she was.

"Yeah, because I'd like to buy it," Peyton told her.

"Nathan put you up to this," when Peyton didn't deny it Brooke stood, "I knew he wouldn't let it go. I don't want to get into all of this. You don't need to buy the dress I'll give it to you."

"Your clothes are amazing Brooke, I want to buy it because it would be worth the money. You are worthy of the title fashion designer," Peyton explained to her.

Brooke sighed, "I'm not interested. All I want is to be with my friends and boyfriend, get through high school and have a good time."

"You are not the good time girl anymore Brooke. You have sustenance and you know it. Why are you trying so hard to deny your obvious talent?"

"Because fashion only became my talent when Nathan and I were at our worst, I'm not interested in doing something that reminds me of every second Nathan was being a jerk and I was in so much pain."

Peyton looked at her friend and wanted to ask her how she had gotten through, how she had managed to land on top. But that was a conversation for another time.

"I want to buy that dress Brooke, will you please let me?"

Brooke looked her over and finally she smiled, "yeah, but your money is just going to charity!"

"Sounds good," Peyton agreed.

0000

Rachael walked into Haley's studio and practically gave Haley a heart attack when she tapped her shoulder. Haley had been bent over her bass, creating the back bone of her song, the deep penetrating voice in the background.

"Are you trying to kill me," Haley asked and gently put her bass down, "poor Mercutio would have been crushed!"  
"Seriously Haley, you have to stop naming your instruments," Rachael told her seriously, with a look that bordered on disgust.

Haley rolled her eyes, "so what brings you to my humble abode?"

"I wanted to ask you a favor," Rachael replied, Haley nodded her head for her to continue, "I want to throw a killer party but not the usual. I want live entertainment, I want you."

"What? No way," Haley felt her body tense as she thought of the last time she had been singing alone in a crowd. She could still see the principal's face after she had puked on his shoes.

"Look, Hales, you are a good musician. I want something that'll drive everyone crazy because they know their party won't begin to compare to mine," Rachael explained.

Haley considered Rachael a friend, she really did, but she didn't even love Brooke or Lucas enough to sing in public, "I'm sorry, Rachael, but I don't do live entertainment."

"Then how about your songs," she asked.

"I thought you wanted live entertainment," Haley replied, "and I really don't want my stuff out there."

"Okay, if I promise not to tell anyone who the amazing songstress is will you let me play it," Rachael asked.

Haley sighed, Rachael could be worse then Brooke sometimes. They were both amazingly apt at making her do things she didn't want to do, "fine!"

0000

A week later Brooke slammed Haley's studio door behind her. Haley looked up, startled, and stared at her friend, "my boyfriend is up to something and I have the sneaking suspicion that your boyfriend is involved."

"I agree," Haley nodded and turned her keyboard off.

"The question is what. It's almost April, my birthday all ready came and yours is up next but why would Nathan be involved? It's not Valentine's Day or Prom, so with that in mind I have come to a dead end. Do you have anything that would be a reason for them both to be involved," Brooke asked as she paced.

Haley shook her head, "nope. I figured that Luke would tell me in his own time but he hasn't even hinted at anything being amiss."

"I think it's about time we stonewall them," Brooke told her.

She gasped, "are you sure?"

Brooke nodded her head, "I'm sure that it's the only way."

0000

Jake sighed and looked at Nathan and Luke as they sat beside him. He was getting a little tired of being the therapist for their girl problems, "you first Luke."

"She's not talking to me, she's staunchly refusing to speak a word to me until I tell her what we're planning," Luke replied.

Jake looked at Nathan who just sighed, "the same."

"The show is going down on Saturday, stick it out guys. Leave me it to me about getting the girls there," Jake told them, "you just get what you need."

"Thanks," Luke sighed.

Jake liked to think that he would be too busy with Peyton to figure out how to get Haley and Brooke to go to Karen's Café but he wouldn't be. He wondered if it would appropriate to use them for therapy now, but as the girls approached he decided it wasn't.

0000

Haley opened her front door expecting to find Luke there, again, begging her to speak to him, or kiss him, or…other things, but was surprised to see Jake. She took a long look at him, trying to assess whether he was there for Luke or not. What she saw was how tired he looked, how he seemed sadder then usual.

"What's up, Jake," Haley asked, searching his face for any clues.

He shrugged, "I was just coming over to visit."

"Visit," she questioned. She wondered where Peyton was.

"Yeah, can't a guy just visit one of the girls he's known since forever," he asked.

Haley tugged the door open wider, "come on in."

Jake took a seat in her living room and then sighed, "maybe I should call Brooke."

"Do you need to tell us something," Haley asked.

He just nodded and flipped open Haley's cell phone, "hey…Brooke, it's Jake…can you come over to Haley's house…I need you guys to be with me when I do this…Brooke? Brooke?"

"She's probably all ready in her car," Haley told him drily. Brooke could probably sense what Haley was seeing. Something was clearly unsettling the very laid back Jake Jagielski.

Not more then ten minutes later Brooke shoved open Haley's front door and practically ran into the living room. She stopped and assessed both of her friends before sitting down beside Jake on the couch, "just tell me, and I'll help anyway I can."

At that moment Jake did want to tell her but then quickly pushed it down. He rose, "I want you two to come with me."

0000

Brooke, Haley and Jake took a seat on the side of the runway that had magically appeared in Karen's Café. Haley was shocked, she had been at work last night and there hadn't been a runway…unless she was going crazy.

"What is this," Brooke's question broke off as spot lights shown on the runway and Nathan appeared.

"I'd like to thank everyone who came out tonight," Nathan smiled at the packed room but wouldn't dare a look at his girlfriend, "without any pomp and circumstance I'd like to begin the first ever Brooke Davis fashion show, the entire show tonight will be done to Haley James' first album."

Haley and Brooke took one look at each other and then at Jake before both of them got ready to jump up and kill someone. Good thing Jake had seen that coming and was sitting in between them so they couldn't get far.

"Let's meet Peyton," Luke read from the pre-written card Peyton and Rachael had made, "she loving the lyrics of Haley James while staying comfortable in the style of Brooke Davis."

Peyton strutted down the runway in the blue dress Brooke had given her and winked down to Brooke as she stopped, twirled and gave a sultry pout to the audience. Brooke looked nervously around but then felt a thrill when she saw a senior eyeing the dress and counting her money. A very popular senior wanted to buy her dress. Brooke wanted to swoon!

Haley watched in awe of the designs even as she sunk lower in her chair. She had known Brooke had been designing but she'd had no idea Brooke had been creating her own line. But for all the pride she felt for Brooke she was still very embarrassed.

"Sit up," Jake whispered comfortingly in her ear.

"Watch as Bevin struts in her Brooke Davis sweat suit, ready for another hard practice, as she listens to 'Watch Over Me' by Haley James," Haley almost groaned. That song was not finished! She was going to kill Rachael for taking that song. When she had been making the CD Rachael had probably added it in when she wasn't looking.

Haley's ears perked as she heard someone murmuring behind her, "are you listening to these lyrics? I want this song more then I want the sweat suit!"

"I'll take the sweat suit," her companion giggled amicably.

Haley's heart raced and soared into the sky. They liked it, they liked her! She had just put her soul out there and these girls had experienced it and wanted more!"

A half hour later the show wound to a close, there was a strange silence as Jake smiled at his two friends, "I'm proud of both of you!"  
"And now ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce the designer Brooke Davis and the musician Haley James," Nathan smiled at Luke as the two girls rose to a round of applause. Haley and Brooke made their way to stage.

"Thank you very much for coming and we hope you enjoyed it," Brooke told the audience.

Haley nodded, "thank you so much."

The applause only grew as everyone rose and then Nathan was wrapping Brooke in his arms, "don't be too mad."

Brooke held him tight, "I'm not mad, but you're right. We need to talk about all the little things now, it's time."

A few inches away Lucas held Haley to him fiercely, "are you gonna hit me with Lola or Mercutio?"

"No! I would never harm them," Haley snuggled into his neck, "but I am definitely going to punish you after we have sex."

"Make love," Luke corrected her and caught her lips with a kiss.

Rachael smiled adoringly at the couples before running, as fast as she could in the pumps she had worn with the red dress Brooke had made, into Mouth's waiting arms, "I missed you."

"You looked amazing babe," Mouth told her.

"Thank you," she smiled, her heart was doing back flips and she was turning into the sappy girls that she hated but it didn't matter.

Jake rose as Peyton approached him in the last evening gown that she had modeled. She looked gorgeous, truly magnificent. He wished that he could tell her how gorgeous she was but he knew she wouldn't welcome the compliment.

"You did good," she acknowledged.

He nodded, thinking that this was more awkward then anything else he'd ever had to be a part of, "so, I was thinking maybe you and I could go eat some dinner?"

Before she could reply her eyes were riveted to the door. When Jake turned his head he wanted to groan out loud, why did she have to show up now?


	31. What Cruel Joke Is This?

"What do you want," Jake hissed his question at her. She almost felt bad for what she was putting him through, but then she thought of the blond haired bimbo who he'd been in love with the entire time. Every time she thought of Peyton Sawyer she wanted to hit someone, preferably the blond slut. She had always been territorial and now was no different.

"I want to talk," she replied instantly.

Peyton glared daggers at her, "I think I'm going to go home."

"No, Peyton, let me get rid of her," Jake begged Peyton.

"Get rid of me," she questioned while cocking one bronze eyebrow.

Peyton snatched her arm from Jake's grasp, "yeah, I really want to go."

"I'll call you later," Jake told her, remorse written all over his expressive face. After Peyton left he turned back to her, "why do you keep coming around? I told you that I wasn't interested."

"You sure were interested that night, weren't you," her sarcasm was deliberate and hit its mark.

"That was a drunken one night stand, one that I'm not even sure led to your predicament," Jake told her. He wasn't a mean guy by nature but he knew when he was being played.

Nikki smiled as she rubbed her swollen belly, "you're the father Jake, no doubt about it. So you might as well get used to the idea."

0000

"Spill," Brooke and Haley hijacked Peyton and led her into an empty hallway the next day. Everyone had noticed Jake talking to Nikki and her very obvious condition.

Peyton knew what they were asking about and couldn't have lied if her life had depended on it, "she's pregnant with his baby."

"Nikki Smith is pregnant," Brooke paused for dramatic purposes, "with Jake Jagielski's kid! How could that happen? How far along is she?"

"She says she's five months, so she would have conceived right before Christmas," Peyton had done the math a million times in her head. Jake had cheated on her.

"Oh my gosh," Haley whispered in shock.

"That does not sound like Jake," Brooke replied, "he must have been tricked!"

"No Brooke," Peyton swallowed the tears bitterly, "it means he must have been unsatisfied, I wasn't enough."

"Are you two broken up," Haley asked, she rubbed Peyton's arm unconsciously, wanting to take the pain away.

Peyton shrugged, "I guess we have to be. I don't understand how this happened. We didn't have a blow out like you and Nathan did. We didn't just move apart. We've been in love, or I've been in love the whole time!"

Brooke watched as Haley led Peyton away toward the girl's bathroom and squared her shoulders, something was amiss and she was just the girl to put it right.

0000

"Your turn," Luke told Jake quietly as he sat beside him and Nathan.

Jake sighed, "maybe two weeks ago Nikki came to my house and right in front of Peyton announced that she was expecting a baby and that it was mine."

"What," Nathan felt a jolt of unexpected electricity fly through his body. He had probably never been as shocked. Jake wasn't a cheater, this couldn't be true.

Luke asked the question, "did you cheat on her?"  
Jake looked at his friends, the saddest look on his face, "yes."

For a long moment no one moved and then Nathan rose and snatched his back pack up, "are you serious? She hasn't felt enough pain in her life? You had to add on to it?"  
"I'll make this right," Jake determined.

"You can't," Nathan hissed, "because it's a kid! You can't make this right with her because you got another woman pregnant."

"Nathan," Luke's voice was just as powerful as his brother's. Him flipping out wouldn't solve anything.

Nathan looked Jake in the eyes, "you especially were the one who was never supposed to hurt her!"

"I could say the same about you and Brooke," Jake retorted.

"Don't," Luke stood and held Nathan back.

"I'll see you later," Nathan told his brother, but refused to even look at Jake again.

Luke sat, Jake looked so dejected, "tell me the whole story."

"It was right before Christmas, Peyton and I were having another argument. I'm not sure if anyone has noticed but we've been fighting a lot lately. Not that I don't get it, everyone has been going through a lot but me and Peyt have been dealing with some shit. I went out to the bar with Brooke, she had to leave at eleven and then I was alone. I got drunk, really stupid drunk and I don't remember the rest."

"You don't remember sleeping with her," Luke asked.

Jake shrugged, "I don't even remember how I got home."

Luke studied his friend. Jake looked miserable and he had the feeling that there was more to this story and he was just the guy to figure it out.

0000

Brooke was waiting for Nathan outside because he'd been sentenced to detention after smart mouthing a teacher. When he finally came out he grinned at his girlfriend, "you waited."

"Yeah, I was with Peyton and Hales but Haley thought it would be better to get her home, she almost had a panic attack," Brooke explained.

"I have to go see her after dinner," Nathan remarked.

"You're so protective," she murmured as she snuggled in his arms.

Nathan tightened his arms around her, "I could kill Jake. How the fuck could he do this?"  
"I don't know, but what I do know is that both of our friends need us right now while things work themselves out," Brooke replied.

"What," Nathan pulled Brooke back a bit, his dark eyes intense, "you aren't seriously going to speak to him? He hurt her Brooke, he cheated on her."

"Something isn't right," Brooke replied almost instantly, "I can't believe it!"  
"Well believe it," Nathan told her. It hurt him that Jake had done it too but his anger was just as palpable. He was protective of Peyton because shit always seemed to happen to her. She didn't deserve this, the huge amount of gossip that would start, reliving her pain everyday that she saw Nikki.

Brooke didn't answer Nathan, she just knew that something was wrong. Jake wasn't a cheater, he didn't lie, something had to have happened. She couldn't let it go, something was wrong!

0000

Peyton laid on her bed after finally getting rid of Haley. Not that she didn't appreciate her friends hovering, but she just wanted to be alone. She just wanted this to be a dream. For the first six months after her mother had died she had dreamt of a world where her mother was alive and well. She had the sneaking suspicion that she would be doing the same about Jake. Haley had asked if they were still together. She had no idea. Nothing was the way it should be.

"Peyt," the sound of Nathan's voice made her smile despite the sad state of her love life.

"You either came here to punch walls and ask for my permission to kill Jake or to sit with me and give me that look that you know will make me cry," Peyton told him and didn't turn to the door.

Nathan gently turned her, "how about both?"

Peyton was crying before he even pulled her into his arms. At least Nathan wasn't going to let her down. He was strong and constant…what she had always thought Jake was.

After several minutes Nathan pushed her back gently and waited until she was sitting on her butt looking at him before he spoke, "I will kick his ass!"

"No," Peyton replied immediately. Nate and Jake had been friends forever, she didn't want their issues to pull them apart. As angry as she was, as sad as she was, she didn't want to ruin their relationship.

"I want to put the look on your face on his," Nathan admitted.

"And what will that solve? Nikki will still be pregnant, Jake will still be the father," Peyton grinned despite her pain. Nathan could always do that to her.

Nathan cupped her cheek, felt her sadness wash over him, "my mom agreed to let you stay at our place for as long as you'd like."

"I couldn't," Peyton's heart hitched. She hadn't slept alone in so long. She was always either at Jake's house or he was at hers.

"You can," Nathan smiled down at her, one of his best friends, "and you will."

0000

"Hey, sexy," Luke whispered into Haley's ear. She was at the stove stirring some delicious smelling spaghetti sauce.

"Hey, I just got back from Peyton's house. I didn't want to leave her," Haley told him.

Luke could feel Haley's sadness. She was such an empath, she always felt other people's pain intensely, "I can't believe it."

"I know, but for Peyton's sake we have to be strong," Haley replied.

"What about Jake," Luke asked.

"What about him? I hate to say it but I think we'll have to cut him out. Peyton has been through so much, she doesn't deserve to have his mistake rubbed in her face everyday."

Luke leaned on the counter, "I don't think I'm willing to discount his friendship so easily."

"I'm not discounting it," Haley argued, "but I feel for Peyton. She needs us to be on her side."

"Doesn't Jake need the same thing?"

"No," Haley's voice conveyed her disapproval, "he doesn't."

"Brooke forgave you despite Nathan's protests," Luke reminded her.

Haley's eyes narrowed angrily, "maybe you should go."

"Hales," Luke stood straight.

"No," she put her hand up, "I need to think okay? Just let me have more then twelve hours."

He nodded and grabbed his bag before kissing her hair, "I love you Hales."

"Me too," she agreed quietly.

0000

Jake's cell phone vibrated, when the display number popped up as Nikki he threw it across his room. He hurt, it felt like his chest was caving in. His best friend was pissed at him, Hales was mad at him, and worst of all Peyton was hurt _because_ of him. He had never imagined that he would be the one who would do that to her. He actually embraced his hurt because if Peyton was sitting home hurting then he wanted to be doing the same. He would walk over live embers for her.

"Jake are you coming down for dinner," his mother called.

"No," he replied. He pulled his covers over his head and moaned. He just wanted this to all be a seriously demented dream. After a few minutes he felt someone burrowing under the covers with him. With one long sniff he smiled despite himself, "well, well, well, Brooke Davis, don't you have a boyfriend?"  
Brooke finally was all the way under, then she laid her head on his chest, "you fucked up buddy."

He sighed, "I know."

"Are you okay," she asked the question as a way of opening up the conversation, a way of saying that she hadn't made any decision about what side she was on yet.

"Every time I think of how I fucked up I want to puke, every time imagine her at home crying I want to bait Nate so he'll kick my ass. I deserve it," Jake whispered back.

She snuggled on his chest and smiled when she felt his arms holding her. She heard his cry rising before it came out and within moments he sobbed out loud. She tightened her hold around him and cried with him. She couldn't expect to get to the bottom of this until he got some of his pain out. And to be honest, Jake had been with her the moment after she had discovered Nathan and Haley, she owed him. But beyond that she loved him and she felt his pain just as keenly as Peytons'.

"Oh God," he groaned and buried his face in her neck.

Brooke rubbed his back as they laid under his covers and continued to cry right along with him. She had to get to the bottom of this.


	32. Planning A Revolution

Lucas looked around the empty parking lot, when he spotted the green buggy he pulled up beside it. Brooke was sitting on the hood of her car, waiting for him.

"Hey, what were you thinking meeting me here, in the middle of the night? You should have waited in the car," Lucas scowled at her.

Brooke smiled and gave him a quick hug, "don't go all Neanderthal on me, I have one of my own sitting at home!"

"How is my little brother doing? We haven't really talked since last week when the news leaked," Lucas told her.

"I know," she murmured, "he's not pleased that I'm still talking to Jake. Peyton's hasn't really changed. When she hurts she keeps it in and then randomly something triggers a crazy reaction. I can only hope that it happens when Jake is around, because even though they're not doing that great he's always been the only person who could calm her."

"Okay," Luke situated himself beside her on her hood, "why did you call me?"

"Because you're the only other person in our group who thinks that something is seriously wrong. I don't think Jake did it and if he did then I don't think he fathered her child," Brooke admitted what had been in the back of her mind since she'd found out.

Luke nodded, "he says he doesn't actually remember sleeping with her."

Brooke's eyes widened, "why didn't he tell me that? I asked!"

"No offense," Luke grinned at her, "but I don't care how close you are, you're still a woman and guys don't tell anyone except significant others the details of their past sexual encounters."  
"We need a plan," Brooke ignored his comment.

"Like what," he asked.

Brooke just smiled, "you have a lot to learn about planning a revolution."

He watched her swing around until she was sitting with her legs crossed. He had a feeling it would be a very educational night.

0000

Brooke sat in her car and looked at her cell phone for a long moment before she finally answered it, "hey baby."

"What are you doing," Nathan asked. He was staring at the ceiling of his dark room.

"I'm about to get ready for bed," she replied.

"You're not alone, are you," Nathan didn't like her to be alone, he knew she hated it too.

Brooke sighed, "no."

"Tell me you're staying at Luke or Haley's house and you are not staying at Jake's," Nathan could feel his anger starting up.

"He's my friend Nathan," Brooke replied.

"He's a cheater," his voice was strong but he had hissed.

Brooke almost smiled, "is Peyton with you?"

Nathan looked down at the curly hair on the pillow beside him, "yeah."

"Take care of her, I'll pick her up tomorrow morning," Brooke told him.

"I don't like that you're there," Nathan reminded her.

"I know, we have to talk too," she wanted to feel his lips on hers more then anything right that moment, "I love you."

"I love you too. Be careful, I don't trust him anymore," he whispered.

"I will," she snapped close her phone and got out of her car. She smiled at Jake's parents as she walked up the stairs and walked into Jake's room without knocking.

Jake looked up from where he was reading his history book, "hey, Davis, what are you doing here again?"

"You know I don't like to sleep alone," Brooke replied as she entered his bathroom. She came out a few minutes later with freshly brushed teeth and her pajamas on, her hair in a messy ponytail and her face bare of make up.

"Come on," he smiled as she climbed over him, knowing that she preferred to sleep in between the wall and a warm body.

"Stop studying," she groaned.

Jake put his book down and got serious, "I have to tell my parents sometime."

"Let's not rush anything," Brooke replied.

"They deserve to know. I should have told them as soon as Nikki told me," Jake told her.

Brooke laid her head on his chest, he was so different from Nathan. While Nate had the same strong pecs and arms, he was also smooth, Jake was hairy. If she didn't consider him a brother maybe she once would have dated him. Of course that would have to be in a world where Nathan Scott didn't exist because God knew she'd loved _that_ boy since forever!

"Look, Jake, Luke and I don't think that this story is really accurate. Something is wrong with the whole scenario. Let us try and get more information, if we have nothing to dispute her claim by Haley's birthday then tell your parents," Brooke knew he would agree before he did because she knew that he wanted a reason to hope.

He tightened his hold around her shoulder, "thanks for being here Davis."

"Thanks for letting me be here," Brooke replied. He laughed at that and soon both of them were asleep.

0000

Luke was standing at Haley's locker teasing the spot behind her ear that made her jump around and giggle when Brooke walked past him, seemingly normal but he noticed her wink. It was time!

"I gotta go," he whispered into Haley's ear before kissing the spot.

She shivered, "you better be around for study hall so we can get together."

He grinned his answer before following Brooke down the hall. She stopped and spoke a few words to Nathan. Nathan smiled down at her and cupped her cheek before giving her a tongue kiss that made Lucas want to blush, and he was no prude.

"Hey man," Nathan was still staring down into her eyes.

Luke smiled, "you could at least look at me when we're talking. Besides her eyes aren't anywhere near as nice as my girlfriends'."  
"You're obviously blind, my girlfriend's eyes are entrancing," Nathan gave her one last peck on the side of her mouth before saying his good bye.

"I'll walk you to class," Luke offered her, knowing Nathan would be more receptive to getting right to class if he knew she was being escorted. Honestly the boy was so overprotective; Luke wondered how Brooke managed to not feel stifled.

When Nathan was out of sight, Brooke threw her books into her locker, slammed it shut, grabbed Luke's hand and began to pull him toward the nurses office.

It was common knowledge that Nikki Smith's best friend was Julie Stern, a girl who spent her study halls in the nurse's office pretending to be sick so she could go home early. When they got to the door Brooke smiled up at him, "we'll make this short and sweet."

He nodded and was prepared when she slumped against him in an apparent faint. He lifted her into his arms and stormed into the office. The nurse looked up in shock, "what happened?"

"I don't know! I was walking her to class for Nate and she just got light headed and passed out," Luke hoped he looked scared.

"Put her down here," the nurse demanded.

As the nurse fussed Lucas had to stop himself from smiling, Julie was sitting on the other bed, watching the whole scene. He put his lips close to Brooke's ear, looking distraught and upset, and said loud enough for Julie to hear, "wake up, baby. Please!"

Brooke opened her eyes and looked around. Luke thought she was a first rate actress, "what happened?"

"You got light headed and fainted. Let me get you some water," the nurse rose and went to the sink in the other room.

"Is it the…you know," Brooke and Luke sent a significant look to her midsection.

She shrugged, "I don't know. Nate doesn't know, does he?"

"No," Luke put his hand on her stomach, "we'll tell him together."

Brooke turned to face Lucas and winked before mouthing, "good job, she totally bought it!"

He bent down and kissed her nose, she was a force to be reckoned with. He was only glad she his friend because he'd hate to be her enemy.

0000

Part two, Brooke thought when she spotted Nikki at the food court of the mall. This part only required Luke to walk somewhere nearby with Haley. Brooke could only thank God that Haley had needed to buy some new guitar picks and she took all day to buy them.

She chose a table somewhat nearby, her phone rang accordingly and Brooke frowned, "hello…what? You saw him doing what?"

Nikki glanced over and was obviously listening to her conversation. Brooke imagined that her friends would think she was crazy if they knew she was totally talking to herself for the sake of her grand plan, "he was supposed to be in love with me…what am I going to do now…Nathan will be livid when he finds out about the baby…It's not his!"

Brooke snapped her phone shut and pouted while rubbing her belly in comforting circles. Suddenly Lucas walked past her, his hand holding Haley's. Haley smiled and waved, "we're still on for tonight right?"

"Yeah," Brooke replied. Poor Haley didn't even realize she was helping to save Jake and Peyton's relationship. Brooke purposefully pouted more and right as she working up some good tears she felt a chair tilt toward her.

"Just tell him that it's his even if it's not, it worked for me," Nikki grinned and then rose to meet her friend.

Brooke waited until she was out of sight to make sure her phone had been recording. She grinned, thinking she was surely a genius.

0000

"So the newest gossip is that Luke is the father of your unborn child," Nathan told Brooke when she walked into his room.

Brooke laughed out loud, "I'm pregnant again?"  
"Apparently," Nathan laughed with her and then pulled her into his arms, "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," Brooke agreed. She wasted no time pushing her hands under his shirt and gently scratching his ripped abdomen.

"You said we were going to talk," Nathan reminded her.

"After?"

He laughed, "no, now!"

Brooke sat and prepared herself, "let's do it then!"

Nathan pulled her into his arms and shifted them until he was leaning against his pillows and head board and she was comfortably in his arms, "why did you forgive me?"

"Because you're the love of my life, Nate. I knew you were sorry, I'm willing to bet all my money that you'll never hurt me that way again. I have faith in you, I always did, even when I didn't want to," she explained.

His grip tightened around her waist, "what about your clothes?"

"Designing and sewing were the only things that took my mind off you. The day before we made up I had been sewing for hours and I had made a zillion pieces but then I looked around and it was seven in the morning suddenly. I realized that none of my clothes mattered, I couldn't keep numbing myself up. And then I just broke, I barely got to Luke's house before I just collapsed. I didn't want to do anything with my clothes because they reminded me of that day. That pain," she shivered.

"I am so proud of your accomplishments," he admitted quietly, "you've always been amazing. Brooke Davis the captain of the Varsity Cheer Squad, the dance team captain, the most popular girl since sixth grade, and then a designer. You're so beautiful on the inside and out, that's why I was worried I wasn't good enough."

"You are good enough," she turned and looked into his eyes, "you are good enough for whatever you determine to get. You deserve the best!"

Nathan cupped her cheek and ravished her mouth with the kind of passion that he could only compare to his love for the game. He felt her smile and heard her moan, "what about the talk?"

"After," he asked. Brooke smiled against his mouth and agreed.

0000

"Will you be okay," Luke asked as he stopped in front of the bar.

Brooke nodded, "if everything goes according to plan then this should be when she finally admits it. Just make sure you get Jake here."

Luke squeezed her hand, "good luck!"

She got out and made her way inside and ordered a shot of Tequila. Brooke took her time walking to her regular table and then downed her shot. She had spotted Nikki the moment she had walked in. She was standing with Julie. It was becoming more apparent that she was pregnant so she wasn't getting many glances from the guys, while Brooke had attracted most of their attention the moment she entered.

Brooke ordered up her second shot and was surprised that Nikki approached her so quickly. Nikki sat in the chair across from Brooke with her back to the door. Brooke opened her phone and speed dialed Luke's phone, knowing he'd put it on speaker phone so Jake could listen, "hey, what's up?"  
"Should you be drinking," Nikki asked.

"I don't care anymore," Brooke replied. She knew this would be her most amazing performance. She thought of the day Nathan told her he wished he didn't know her and felt the clench in her chest and the tears in her eyes.

"Okay, calm down," Nikki looked around, making sure no one noticed.

"He says he's in love with Haley. He told me he wasn't into her when I told him I didn't love Nate," Brooke explained.

"How far along are you," Nikki asked.

Brooke shrugged, "who cares? After tonight it won't matter."

Nikki shook her head, "look honey, you can make this situation work for you."

"How," Brooke asked, refraining from taking another shot.

"I slept with this guy, obviously, and he knocked me up. Then I found this honest respectable guy who was totally drunk here a few months ago. I slipped a little something-something in his drink, poof, the next thing you know he thinks we slept together and the baby is his," Nikki grinned, obviously proud of herself.

Before Brooke could reply Jake walked around the table and stood beside Brooke, "really?"

Nikki opened her mouth in shock, "oh my God!"

"I think you'd better get out of my life," Jake told her. He was trying really hard to stem his temper. He held up the phone, "we recorded you saying that."

"We are not done," Nikki hissed and took off, Julie trailing behind her.

Jake tugged Brooke into his arms, "thank you Davis."


	33. Meet Your Worst Enemy

Peyton sat in steadfast anger. She could not believe that Brooke would do this to her. Why would her best friend set up a meeting with Jake for her, when she knew what he had done? Brooke sighed and sat beside Peyton on her couch, "you'll forgive me in time. This is what's best."

"I think that you should stay out of her business," Nathan's voice surprised Brooke. She rose, ready to defend her actions. Since the night she had caught Nikki in her lie a few days had passed. Haley's birthday was approaching and Brooke knew that Lucas was planning something amazing for her. She didn't want Haley to be pissed at him when he was trying so hard to make her happy. Brooke could deal with Nathan.

"I think you should know all of the facts, I think she deserves to know them," Brooke replied.

Before Nathan could retort Peyton rose, "what do you mean? What facts?"

"He never slept with her, it couldn't possibly be his baby because he never cheated!"

"What," Peyton reared back in surprise. She had expected Brooke to tell her to forgive like she had but having a child with another woman wasn't something she'd term forgivable. She felt a pang of hope in her chest.

"How do you know," Nathan asked, "for all we know he could have been cheating for months."

"No," she took a deep breath, "he had never met Nikki until that night. And if you want to blame someone so desperately then blame me. I took Jake to that bar, I left early. I opted out of the tried and true buddy system."

Nathan took a deep breath, "that still doesn't prove a damned thing!"

"Maybe this will," Jake's voice had everyone turning toward the doorway. He snapped on the recording and they all listened in silence.

"Why was she talking to you about this," Peyton asked, shell shocked.

"Well," Brooke looked at Nathan with a sheepish glance, "I made her think I was in a relationship with Lucas and that he was in love with Haley after all. She gave me some advice, probably thinking I was the same old Brooke Davis who didn't give a fuck."

"You started your own rumor," Nathan wondered.

Brooke grinned toward Jake, who hadn't taken his eyes from Peyton, "I'd do anything for my friends."

"She drugged you," Peyton stepped forward, sadness in her voice, "poor baby!"

Nathan put his arm out, preventing her from going toward him. Jake took a step toward him, "you'd better let her through. I'm not in the wrong."

"You hurt her," Nathan replied.

Brooke rolled her eyes. Nathan seriously had a protective nature that made her want to smack him sometimes, "baby, this isn't our business anymore."

Peyton moved around him and launched herself into Jake's arms. When his arms squeezed around her small waist she whispered into his neck, "thank God."

0000

Lucas passed Brooke and Nathan as he was walking toward his locker. He stopped momentarily, just long enough to crack a grin when Nathan teased him about him knocking up his girlfriend. Haley's birthday was approaching rather quickly and if everything went as planned Haley would never forget this birthday.

"What'cha thinking about," Lucas smiled down at Haley as she hooked their arms together out of nowhere.

"Just you and how much I enjoyed last night," he replied.

"Really," she practically purred. It was amazing, when she stopped to think about it, how lucky she was. She'd gone through some trying times, times that had haunted her, but she had persevered and gotten extraordinarily lucky. Lucas really loved her, it was in every action he took and every word he uttered.

"So you got Friday off right," he questioned her again.

She rolled her eyes, "I don't need a birthday party."

Lucas smiled; she thought she was getting a group party. Little did she know how much more he was planning. Suddenly he stopped; there was a guy by his locker who was going through the locker beside his but his stuff was in front of Luke's locker, blocking it.

"Hey, man, do you mind moving your stuff," he asked politely.

The guy turned and barely glanced at Lucas before he looked at Haley, "hey, baby, you look good enough to eat!"

"Eww," she squealed, she turned to Luke, "I'll see you History."

Luke watched her walk away before he turned back to the guy, "I don't know who you are, but that was my girlfriend. Stay away from her."

"Sure, whatever you say," the guy grinned as he watched Luke stalk away.

0000

Peyton spent a majority of her time in Math smiling at Jake and rubbing his thigh, she hadn't let him sleep in a while. It was amazing how liberating it was to know your boyfriend hadn't fathered a child with another woman.

She looked up from his brown eyes long enough to see the new kid who the teacher was introducing. He was tall, probably Jake and Luke's height, with dark hair, dark eyes, a huge grin and a body she'd have to be blind to ignore. But despite that it was Jake that made her heart beat.

"Class this is Felix de Leon," the teacher announced.

Felix made his way to the back behind Peyton and when class was underway he moved forward, "you smell good gorgeous."

Jake swiveled on his chair, "do you even see me? Back off buddy."

He took one last sniff of the air, winked at Peyton's disgusted face and then turned his attention to the rest of the classroom before he spotted her. She was seriously beautiful. She was doodling in her notebook, her long dark hair was hanging down her back and her bangs were pinned back, he saw the hint of a dimple and inexplicably his heart dropped. Felix sucked in a breath, what the hell was wrong with him?

0000

"This completely gross guy," Haley began her sentence as she walked up beside Brooke and Peyton. But Peyton was all ready starting her sentence, "this asshole hit on me in front of Jake!"

Brooke smiled at her friends, "new guy? And no one told me? Why's he gross?"

"He's a perv, you can tell," Peyton replied.

"He'd kind of be cute if he didn't reek of asshole," Haley added.

"Wow, I guess I'll have to see him so I can let him know the rules of the place. Does anybody else think it's weird that either Nathan or I always end up talking to the new kids? I think we might be taking our positions too far," Brooke laughed at the absurdity of it all.

Felix watched as she laughed with a few of the girls he'd hit on earlier. She was short and petite, which was interesting because he'd always gone for the Latinas with curves everywhere. But she did have curves too, she was simply heart stopping. Finally the blond with the crazy curls spotted him and instantly scowled. The beauty turned toward him before telling her friends she'd be right back. As she walked toward him he could only suck in one breath. She was truly stunning.

"Hey, I'm Brooke Davis captain of the Varsity Cheer Squad," she extended her hand with a dimple filled grin.

He shook it, his game leaving him as he stared into her beautiful eyes, "I'm Felix de Leon."

"Of the lion," she had actually done okay in Spanish.

"Yeah," she smelled good too.

"Well I'm kind of one half of the unofficial welcoming committee here at Tree Hill High. You see, we have really well laid out rules. Well not rules, just a way of making your years here more pleasurable," he stared at her mouth and wondered what it tasted like, "anyway, one of the big ones is that you can't go around randomly hitting on other guy's girls. Especially guys on the basketball team, that can only lead to trouble and add to that the fact that the girls are cheerleaders. It can't turn out well. So I think you'll be fine, if you keep our chat in mind."

Felix took a step toward her and cupped her cheek before bending down and capturing her mouth. Her mouth was opened in shock and he took advantage, greeting her tongue with his in a slow and sexy sweep. His hand was going down toward her perfectly round ass when he felt a hand on his shoulder turn him and his jaw met a fist.

He swung back and felt a solid connection but before he could get in another hit or get hit, she was in front of him. She put a hand on the guy's chest, "Nathan, stop!"

"Who the hell are you," Felix asked. He was tall and pissed.

"Her boyfriend, who the fuck are you? You know what, it doesn't matter I'll beat your ass anyway," Nathan took a menacing step forward but stopped when Brooke got in his way again. Felix noticed how he softened, it was obvious he didn't want to hurt her accidentally.

"He's Felix de Leon, the new guy," Brooke replied before slapping Felix hard across the face. When he faced her again, his cheek stinging she grabbed his chin, "no one kisses me without my permission. That's another rule you'd better learn. Nathan, let's go."

Felix watched as the other guys he'd met crowded Nathan, they all must be on the team, Felix thought. But as the group walked he did notice that Brooke was the head. He almost groaned, everyone was staring at him, but he didn't care because he still had the taste of her in his mouth. Brooke Davis was quite a woman.


	34. Surprise Surprise

April 17th dawned gorgeous. The sun came up at 6:30 am, there was a slight, warm breeze, and the temperature was a comfortable 65. Haley sighed as she woke up and stretched. It had been a while since her birthday had dawned quite so beautifully. She looked over and smiled at Lucas. Soon she would have to leave the house and pretend to come back to pick him up for school. Haley had the sneaking suspicion that Karen and Keith knew that she stayed over fairly often.

"Stop thinking so loudly," Luke muttered and rolled over.

Haley smiled down at him, he was not a morning person. But he was her one and only. Luke had done more for her then she had ever dreamed for. He had gotten her back to her family, he had instilled courage inside of her and had stuck beside her for the duration. When she thought of how lucky she was her eyes welled and it became hard to breathe.

"Okay," Luke swung an arm around to hold her. When their faces were a few inches apart he opened his eyes, "how do you manage to look so damned sexy in the morning?"

She grinned, she'd have to add that to her list: Luke had a way with words, "just lucky I guess."

He laughed and then kissed her, "I could love you forever, Haley James."

"So could I, Lucas Scott," she agreed.

0000

Jake rolled over to his side and finally opened his eyes to the sunlight. For the past week or so, she hadn't been sleeping and it had been taking a toll on her. He hadn't seen her really smile for a while it depressed him. Peyton was looking out the window, her eyes serious, "what's up Peyt?"

"I just worry sometimes," she replied.

"About us?"

"No," she replied quickly, "I think I've gotten the take home message from that experience. Always give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt."  
He pulled her close to him, "was that the take home message?"

"I'm worried about everyone," Peyton finally admitted.

"Why, is something up," Jake knew Luke was planning a huge dinner for Haley's birthday, but beyond that Brooke and Nathan seemed to be okay, except for the new kid that had set his sights on Brooke. Rachael and Mouth were joined at the hip and possibly more in love then anyone else Jake had ever met.

Peyton looked at him, "I feel like something's coming. You know what I mean? I just _feel_ it!"

He nodded, "I know what you mean."

She let him hold her until the alarm went off and even then she longed for his arms as she stood in her shower.

0000

Brooke quickly and efficiently broke into Haley's house while she was out with Lucas going something or other. She had agreed to help but had required time alone to do it! Lucas had explained to her in vivid detail, the way only a writer could, what he wanted the night to look like. Her dining room was supposed to become a vision of dim lights, candles, good china and bold colors to make the mood really mesh.

She sighed at how romantic it would be, when her phone rang she didn't bother to check the caller i.d. before snapping open her phone, "hello?"

"Hey, gorgeous," Brooke sighed at the voice on the other end.

"How did you get my number Felix? And why are you calling me? One slap wasn't good enough," she asked.

"Everyone knows your number," he replied and paused for a beat, "so I was wondering-"

"No," she interrupted him, "whatever you want, the answer is no. I'm not interested. I have a great boyfriend Felix and if you don't stop then I'm afraid I'll have to let him, and the rest of the guys, loose on you."

"I'm not afraid of him, I'm willing to do anything I can to get you," he admitted.

Brooke sighed again before snapping her phone closed. It looked like she'd have to call in the big guns, "well, time to get to work," she told herself. With a small clap of excitement she headed toward the dining room.

0000

Haley smiled around the table a few hours later. She was sitting in Peyton's kitchen, a huge chocolate cake in front of her, and all of her closet friends surrounding her. Brooke was hopping along, obviously excited although Nathan was trying to calm her.

Once Haley had blown out her candle Brooke was seriously beside herself, "open my presents first!"

"What about the cake," Haley asked with a laugh.

"It'll still be here when we get to it," Brooke replied.

Two presents were in front of her, obviously wrapped by an expert. The first one, and the larger of the two, was a clothing box. Haley pulled out a light blue, silk nighty with lace on the hems and beautifully intricate straps, "Brooke this is gorgeous, where did you get it?"

Brooke shrugged but Nathan wrapped an arm around his girlfriend, "she made it."

"My very first Brooke Davis item of clothing," Haley smiled at her best friend and then opened the other gift. This one took her breath away. She looked from Brooke to the circle pendent, "Brooke!"

"As corny as this is going to sound," Brooke bent so she was eyelevel with Haley, who was sitting, "the circle doesn't end, it's continuous, like our friendship."

"Brooke," two fat tears welled up in her eyes.

Brooke covered Haley's hand with her own, "let's not allow this circle to have any holes this time."

Haley nodded before drawing Brooke into her arms, "I love you Brooke."

"Me too," Brooke agreed and then pulled back so she could stand with Nathan. He put his arms around her and held her close, his hand gently massaging her scalp and he continuously kissed her temple. His girlfriend was so amazingly giving and forgiving.

In short order, Haley got a star named after her from Jake and Peyton because, "you're a star Hales. Never forget that, I know we won't."

But when Haley opened her gift from Lucas there was just her set of house keys. She looked up, completely lost, "what's my key doing in here?"

"Did you think that this party was your only birthday surprise," Brooke suddenly asked.

Haley just nodded but Lucas grinned, "the real surprise is at your house, and that's where you're getting my real present."

0000

Haley looked around her dining room in awe. As soon as they had gotten to her house Luke had handed her a dress box and told her to go change. The gown she was wearing now was another Brooke Davis original, she made a mental note to kick Brooke's ass if she didn't follow through with designing her clothes. But now she was standing in the doorway and knew that Brooke had had a hand in this. The room had completely changed. The curtains were thick and deep red, the carpet, a deep blue, the dining table had amazing silverware and china and the food smelled delicious. But it was Luke, standing at the table smiling, shrouded in the candle light that took her breath away.

"This is gorgeous," Haley whispered.

"No," he stepped forward and took her hand as he looked her over in the gown Brooke had made at his request, "you are gorgeous."

Lucas pulled out her chair for her and when she was seated he gently pecked her exposed collar bone before moving to the middle of the table to serve her food. When the smell of the roast duck and fresh vegetables hit her nose her mouth began to water. And like earlier she knew Lucas had drawn on their friends. She knew because this meal positively reeked of Jake Jagielski. Then Lucas gave her a portion of macaroni and cheese and she laughed in happiness.

"Thank you so much Luke. This has been the best birthday ever," Haley told him.

"It's not over," Luke replied.

"What more could you possibly do?"

Luke bent over and at first Haley thought he had dropped something but as he settled on his knee her heart fell to the floor and her head burst in shock, "I could ask you to marry me," he finally replied.

Her mouth fell open in complete shock. She had never, ever, expected this. She blinked a few times before she finally focused on him again. He looked hopeful and worried because she had looked shocked. But she also saw love and passion and then she thought of how much she loved and appreciated him. He had become her best friend, her advocate, her lover. Everything she had ever wanted her husband to be. Haley released a breath before launching herself into Lucas' arms, "of course!"

0000

Everyone, excluding Lucas and Haley, was enjoying their evening at Rachael's house for a party. It would be one of the last big parties of their school year because May 15th would be their last day. Then would come some summer parties but none of those mattered if the right people weren't there to see you.

Peyton, Rachael and Brooke had been standing in the living room sipping their drinks and talking when Felix approached. Rachael's eyes narrowed, "skeeze alert!"

Brooke turned just in time for him to run into her mouth with his again. But she was better prepared, she pushed him back, "what the fuck? You cannot keep kissing me and calling me. I'm not interested!"

"Everyone's interested," Brooke thought he was a cocky motherfucker.

"Well I'm not. To me you are just another guy who's trying to get in my pants and it's not going to work because I love my boyfriend. Do you hear me Felix? I love him."

"Well he obviously doesn't love you if he could cheat on you with your own friend," Felix brought up the material he had heard through the grapevine.

Brooke pointed her finger and poked his chest. Peyton shook her head then, this guy didn't stand a chance because Brooke was pissed now, "you don't know a damned thing about it! Don't walk onto my turf and think that you'll get the run of the place because you're confident. I'm far more confident and I have my actions to back that up. You think you know me Felix, but you don't. You see the happy little Brooke Davis but you don't know where I've been or who I used to be. I could tear you apart."

Nathan appeared out of nowhere, "you okay, babe?"

Brooke looked at Nathan, "yeah, let's go, okay?"

He nodded and walked with her toward the other end of the room. When they were about halfway there Nathan turned to look Felix in the eyes when he put his hand in her back pocket. Felix stood, transfixed, steaming in anger.

Peyton just shook her head with a grin, "its okay gorgeous, not _everyone's_ interested," and walked away.

"You'll probably want to get out of my house now," Rachael added and followed Peyton.

0000

Lucas looked up from the floor where he was lying with Haley, the table cloth covering them. After his proposal they hadn't quite made it to the dinner or the bedroom. Haley snuggled into his chest, "this has been the best birthday ever."

"I'm glad," he replied and pecked her hair.

Haley sighed, "really, Luke, the best."

He held her tighter, "we don't have to get married right this second, we can have a long engagement. But if you wanted to, I would marry you tomorrow."

"I was hoping you'd say that," she replied.

"What do you mean," Luke asked.

"Well I'll have to get my parents to sign off on it and you will too, but if both sets of parents do then we could get married next weekend."

Luke grinned, "how do you know all of this?"

"When you were taking your power nap after the first time we made love, I got a bowl of macaroni and cheese and researched," she replied.

"I love you," he laughed in her hair, feeling more exhilarated then he ever had before. Everything seemed perfect, like nothing could ever go wrong again.


	35. Did You Really Think The Pain Was Dead?

Karen was standing in her kitchen while Keith was sitting at the table, sipping his coffee, when Haley and Lucas walked in. She knew immediately, as mothers do, that something was up. She sat beside Keith, "morning kids, how was your birthday party Haley?"

Haley smiled at Lucas, "really great. Better then I could ever expect."

"That's good," Keith put his hand on Karen's, he sensed the shift in the air as well.

Lucas put his arm around Haley and smiled, "we have something to tell you guys. Really something to ask."

"Go ahead," Karen replied and held her breath.

Haley opened her mouth but Keith interjected, "are you pregnant?"

"No," Lucas almost shouted. He shook his head and then laughed at his own behavior, "no, she is not pregnant."

Karen released her breath, "thank God. That's what I thought too."

"No," Haley laughed too but then grew serious, "but what we want to talk about is serious."

"Okay," Keith agreed. He all ready could deal with it if it didn't involve teen pregnancy.

"I've asked Haley to marry me," Lucas told them.

The silence in the room stretched. Keith looked at Karen and she gazed back in confusion, "you mean a long engagement?"

"Like one that will last until after college," Keith added.

Haley smiled down at Luke, "more like this coming weekend."

"This weekend," Karen repeated. Was she seriously being asked by her sixteen year old son to grant her permission in marrying his girlfriend of less than a year? She rose and grabbed the emergency scotch. She poured it into a coffee cup, "don't you think this is moving rather fast?"

Luke watched his mother pour the scotch he had only seen her touch twice in his whole life. He knew that she wasn't pleased, "we're in love."

Karen added coffee into her cup and gulped it down in fast order, "Keith?"

"I have to agree Luke. If you're in love then it'll last until after college, or at least until after high school."

Haley took a seat, "I know you guys think we're a bunch of ridiculously naïve high school kids but we're not. I've been through a lot, I've had to grow up faster then anyone should have to. I'm ready to be married."

"And where would you live? How would you eat? You working one day at the café a week and Luke helping to fix the odd car with Keith," Karen asked.

"My parents said that we could stay in my house, but I would be expected to keep a certain sum in savings and we'd have to get a prenup," Haley replied.

Karen huffed in consternation, "what is wrong with the two of you?"

"Karen," Keith tried to stop her but sensed that it was too late. She was going to fly off of the handle one way or another.

"No! Really, what is wrong with you two? Living off your parents and saving some money! Is that how you two think the real world is?"

Keith rose and took Karen's hand, "we're going to go discuss this. We'll call you on your cell phone when we're done."

Luke nodded at Keith, trusting him to be objective if nothing else. He rose and took Haley's hand, "come on Hales, let's go see Brooke."

0000

Brooke walked through her house and practically jumped out of her skin when she passed her living room and saw Lucas and Haley sitting watching television.

"Oh my," Brooke put a hand to her heart, "what are you two doing here? Not that I don't love to see the lovebirds."

Haley rose and looked her friend over. Brooke was wearing a pencil skirt and a very conservative dark brown blouse, "where have you been?"

"No where," Brooke replied. She didn't tell anyone that every once and again she went to her old Catholic church and tried to get her sins forgiven. Brooke stepped out of her designer Chinese Laundry heels and asked again, "what are you doing here?"

Haley lifted her left hand, it barely took Brooke a second to process the ring, "oh my God, you got married! Luke I said I'd help you with dinner not an elopement!"

Luke laughed as Brooke grabbed Haley's hand to study the ring, "we're engaged. We want to get married this coming weekend but we're waiting to see what my parents say."

"Let me guess," Brooke looked into her friend's eyes, "your parents all ready signed off."

"Got it in one," Haley whispered, "tell me you're happy for me."

"Oh Hales," Brooke wrapped her arms around Haley, "I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you," Haley buried her face on Brooke's shoulder and cried.

After a while Brooke sat Haley down and then hugged Luke, "congratulations!"

Luke held her tight. It was easy to put your faith in Brooke Davis because she was such an anomaly, a city unto herself. If Brooke was happy then there was no way his mom could stay mad for too long.

0000

Luke sat in shock as he listened to what his mother was saying. Was she really standing in front of him telling him that she wouldn't stand by him if he followed his heart, the one thing she had always told him to do.

"I never thought you were a hypocrite," Luke whispered.

Karen closed her mouth on the words she had been about to say. The words she had hoped would change his heart. Keith shook his head, "Luke!"

He rose, "you're telling me that you won't give me your blessing?"

"More then that, I'm telling you that I will not give my permission," Karen replied.

"Fine," he rose and felt the comfort of Haley's hand in his, "then we'll find another way."

They began to walk away but Karen's angry voice still could stop him short, "Lucas Eugene Scott, we are not finished with this conversation."

He turned his head, "yes we are. If you're just going to tell me that you don't want me to be with the girl I love then I'm not interested."  
"We're not saying you can't be together," Keith replied immediately.

"We're not even saying that you two can't be engaged," Karen remedied, "we just think you two need more time to figure out if you want to get married."

Haley squeezed his hand and whispered, "maybe she's right."

"Don't you go losing faith too," Lucas whispered back. He looked his mother in the eyes one more time. It broke his heart that they were at odds like this but he firmly believed that he was doing the right thing, "I'm sorry you feel that way Mom."

"Lucas where are you going," Karen asked as they began to walk toward the door again.

He felt his eyes swell with tears, "I've gotta go Mom. Please forgive me, I love her."

"Lucas," she called his name again but the door had closed, he was gone.

0000

Luke and Haley burst through Brooke's house only to find her asleep. Sometimes both of them forgot that she was an actual living person who needed to sleep and eat and sustain herself. Nathan had his arms wrapped around her and his head was lolling over hers. She was snuggled onto his chest on her couch, compared to him she looked so small.

"Should we wake them," Haley whispered.

Luke shook his head no but Brooke's eyes were all ready opening. She gently slid Nathan's arm from her waist and sat up. Before rising she gently soothed his hair and kissed his temple. She pulled a blanket over him and motioned for them to join her in the kitchen.

"It didn't turn out well," she voice was rough with sleep.

"We're sorry to disturb you," Luke replied.

Brooke shrugged, "they'll be more days to sleep in with him. We do it all the time. Tell me what happened."  
Haley reiterated the story in short order. Brooke looked over to Lucas and repeated his words, "please forgive me, I love her? Oh my goodness, that was so sweet."

"Focus," Haley replied but inside she felt an inner tremble at his words.

"Well since you appeared to have decided that you're going to do this one way or another then maybe you should tell me what you have to do to circumvent your mother's permission. I know you researched," Brooke winked at Haley.

"I can apply for emancipation but there's a chance I could lose," Lucas replied.

"And waiting isn't an option," Brooke had to be sure.

Haley looked at Lucas and smiled, "if necessary, but I want to marry him today, this very instant. I want to be bound to you."

Luke kissed her lips and Brooke felt her inner girl squeal at how adorable this all was. How romantic! The swing door opened and Nathan appeared, "hey, baby, what are you doing up?"

Nathan wrapped his arms around her and snuggled his face into her throat, "I always notice when you leave me."

"Hey Nate," Haley and Luke greeted him.

Nathan shifted so Brooke was sitting on his lap on the stool at the island, his arms wrapped around her waist protectively, "hey, guys. What's up?"

"Brooke hasn't told you," Luke asked.

She shrugged, "it's your good news to share, not mine."

"We're engaged," Haley lifted her left hand.

Nathan snagged her hand and looked at the ring as if expecting it to be candy, a joke, "damn bro, I said I'd help with the party not with an engagement."

"You two are perfect for each other," Haley replied with a small grin.

Luke told his brother the whole sordid tale and was rewarded with a small nod of understanding, "well, I guess if you're determined then you could drive to Canada or Mexico."

"It's not legal in another country," Haley reminded him.

"Yeah, but if you have the ceremony in a different country then most counties allow the marriage to go through in the states," Nathan replied. All three of them stared at him in surprise.

"How do you know that," Brooke asked.

He shrugged, "maybe I've considered the idea a time or two."

Brooke laughed as he kissed the back of her neck, "yeah right."

"Really," he whispered.

She turned in his arms and looked him in the eyes. After a moment she turned back, "we are going to have a long talk Nathan Scott."  
"That just might be crazy enough to work," Haley told Luke, her eyes never leaving his.

"And if you really want emancipation get her pregnant," Nathan added. At all of their stunned faces he shrugged sheepishly, "too much?"

Luke nodded and Brooke just sighed, "yeah, just a bit."

0000

Felix watched as the girl approached him. Normally he tried to be polite when he told a girl he wasn't interested but he was still in a miserable mood. He wasn't just mad at Brooke, to be honest he liked when girls played hard to get, but he was pissed at that smug-as-fuck Nathan Scott. He wanted to trump him so desperately he could taste it.

"Hey," the girl began.

"Look honey, I don't do chicks with buns in the oven," Felix told her and then turned his attention back to his beer.

She put her hand on his shoulder, "I heard it through the grapevine that you're looking for a way to get to Brooke Davis and Nathan Scott."

He swiveled, "so what if I am?"

She hefted herself up onto a stool and offered her hand, "I'm Nikki Smith, and I have a plan that could be mutually beneficial."

0000

Jake found Peyton standing on the porch. The North Carolina wind was gentle and warm. But even in her tee-shirt and his shorts he could tell she was shivering. Through the weeks they had been rebuilding their relationship, trying to figure out how it had cracked so easily at the first real test. They had both mistakenly thought that their relationship was rock solid. It was with unease that he realized how easy their small empire had crumbled.

"What are you doing honey," he asked.

Peyton leaned back onto his chest, "I still can't manage to shake this feeling."

"You still feel like the world is going to fall at our feet," he asked.

"Seriously," she voice dropped, "something coming."

"Maybe you're just still in shock from Luke and Haley's announcement," he referred back to the surprise dinner at Haley's just hours before.

She shook her head and her golden curls flew everywhere, "I just know something is up, can't you feel it?"

Jake just held her tighter, hoping against hope that she wasn't prophesizing the next great divide in their group. He thought that they had all gone through too much in a short period of time and that they just weren't used to good things happening anymore, and he told her so.

"Maybe," she prayed he was right, "because what I feel scarier then anything else I've ever felt before."

0000

Brooke woke up in a cold sweat. Something wasn't right, she twisted from under Nathan's arm and went onto the porch leading from his room. The air was warm but her bones felt cold. Something was very wrong. She prayed that she was being ridiculous, that her mind was just running away with her but what she felt was scarier then anything else she had ever felt before because she knew without doubt that involved her and her entire group.


	36. Ending Up With The Right Regrets

As the weeks wore on and the end of school loomed Peyton and Brooke's feelings of uncertainty only grew. There didn't seem to be much to support their fear but they still felt painfully aware of something out of their control. Lucas felt the same way but for different reasons. He was still living at his house but the tension was palpable. He hadn't really spoken to his mother in longer then he could remember. He knew Keith was trying to repair the rift but to be honest, he didn't see how it could be fixed.

"Hey Broody," Brooke's voice had Luke turning from his locker. She looked like she hadn't been sleeping in weeks. According to Nathan, Brooke had been getting up periodically, and the same from Jake about Peyton.

"Hey," he threw a congenial arm around her shoulder as they began to walk, "wanna talk about it?"

"Nope," she shook her head but grinned at him.

"Seriously," his grin disappeared, "what's up Brooke? Nathan says you haven't been sleeping."

Brooke shrugged, "I just feel like shit is going to go down, you know?"  
His eyebrows shot up at her words, she didn't normally talk slang but it was obviously the only way she could explain her feelings, "I think you two are just in depression and disappointment overdrive. This year has changed everybody in our group. Hell, I wasn't even in the group at the beginning of the year and I'm still changed. My mother, the person I've been closest to my entire life, isn't talking to me."

"How is that going? Are you and Haley okay," Brooke asked.

"She's sad because she thinks my Mom doesn't like her. I don't think my Mom hates her I think my Mom's mad at me. She thinks I'm just being stupid and young. I want to marry her now because we both truly believe that we'll be together forever. That's the same feeling that someone ten years older then us would get. You know what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, you're saying that you've weighed your pros and cons and that you've got the same issues someone older then you would have. You feel like your problems ten years from now won't outweigh or be all that different from the ones now," Brooke replied.

He nodded, "you get it, I wish my mother could."

"Do you get where she's coming from though," Brooke turned to stand in front of him as they got to the doorway of her classroom, "she's worried that you'll ruin your relationship. She's worried that you'll lose yourself in this whole relationship and forget to advance yourself. She thinks that you don't know the life lessons that almost all of us in the group had to learn early, including Haley. That you have to stand on your own if you honestly expect yourself to support someone else."

Luke nodded and squeezed Brooke back when she gave him a hug. He had a lot of thinking to do and a relationship to repair.

0000

Peyton sat beside Brooke as they stretched in Gym, surprised that she had even shown up, "hey, did you sleep last night?"

"Nope," Brooke looked her best friend over, "you?"

She shook her head, "I think our boyfriends may be right. Maybe we're borrowing trouble because that's all we've had lately."

"You know what," Brooke bent over and touched her toes, "we have two spectacular boyfriends. We have big houses, and great cars. We have an amazing group of friends. We have to stop all of this. We've both been doing this for weeks and nothing has happened."

"Exactly," Peyton agreed.

Brooke sat back up, "we are chronic pessimists!"  
"Do you know what a pessimist is," Peyton asked.

"That doesn't matter," Brooke waved her hand.

"Sorry I'm late," Haley told her teacher as she sat beside Peyton.

Rachael looked over her shoulder and grinned, "that would explain the engagement ring."

Brooke giggled and Peyton had to cover her grin with a cough. Haley scowled at Rachael, "keep it to yourself, Gattina."

"Whatever you say but I should warn you that your fiancé is playing basketball down the gym and he looks good enough to give you palpitations, not good for a baby," Rachael turned and laughed as Haley playfully threw a pen at her.

Haley looked down toward Luke and sighed, "he is gorgeous."

"Down girl," Peyton teased her.

"I can't help it. I want to marry him so badly. But more then that I want him and his mom to be okay. I think I'll have to talk to her," Haley told them.

"I agree," Brooke told her, glad that Haley had come to that conclusion on her own.

"Should I tell Luke?"

"No," Peyton shook her head, "this is a delicate operation, one that a male would screw up in less than three seconds."

Haley nodded her head and with one last peak at her fiancé turned back to begin upper body stretching.

0000

"Ready to start this," Felix felt his inner flutter of surprise when Nikki talked behind him. He looked around and pulled her into a stray classroom.

"You are not supposed to talk to me here, remember?"

She rolled her eyes, "we need to start this soon. If I'm going to get my outcome then we need to act quickly."

"What about mine," he asked gruffly.

"After I get Jake then everything will fall into place and Brooke will need a shoulder to lean on," Nikki replied. She almost sneered. The boy honestly thought that Nikki wasn't going to retaliate on Brooke. She was the bitch who had tricked her. She deserved everything Nikki could throw at her, and Nikki was a formidable foe.

Felix nodded, "fine, then let's get this started."

Nikki nodded, her plan would be successful this time. It had to be, it was a life or death chance.

0000

Nathan watched as Felix stared at Brooke. He was unaware that Nathan was behind him. The way that they were faced made it easy for Nathan to stand behind a pillar and watch. Felix was obvious in his stance in front of him, but Brooke was oblivious to him. Before Nathan could act Brooke turned and locked eyes with Nathan. She smiled and began to walk toward him, her eyes never even looking at Felix.

"What are you doing baby," Brooke wrapped her arms around him.

Nathan watched Felix as he held Brooke to his body, tightly and protectively. Felix flexed his fist and stalked off, "just looking at you. I love watching you."

"Well thank you," she told him. She laced their fingers together and as they walked she leaned in to him, "listen, I'm sorry that I've been keeping you up with all of my nonsense."

"It's not nonsense if it bothers you," he cupped her cheek before they sat with the group and kissed her.

She kept her eyes closed for another moment to let the feel of his lips on hers melt in, "you taste delicious."  
"Yeah, well you could use this," he laughed and handed her a stick of gum.

Brooke smacked his arm and grinned as they sat.

0000

Haley took a deep breath. This was something she had to do, woman to woman. She had to do this on her own, but as she took her first step in Karen's Café she wished that Luke was beside her. Karen looked up from the counter and stopped moving, her eyes wide.

"Haley," she greeted her.

"Hi, Karen," she took the heavy steps forward until she was close enough to sit on a stool, "I was hoping we could talk."

Karen nodded, she still wasn't pleased but she saw something very sincere in Haley, "okay, the lunch rush just finished. I don't anticipate any other customers until later."

Haley took a deep breath, "I'm sorry, Karen."

Karen's eyes widened, she had not been expecting that, "for what exactly?"

"We dropped our intentions on you and never even bothered to explain why we wanted to get married. We gave you a tremendous shock and never bothered to let you deal with it," Haley explained.

"Thank you," Karen felt herself growing less tense, "do you want some coffee?"

Haley nodded and waited until it was in front of her, "I'm not out to ruin Luke's life and future, or my own."

"You both are so young," Karen told her.

"I know," Haley agreed, "and Luke does too, he's just being stubborn. But I think we're ready. I can't promise that I won't ever make a mistake or that I won't change and it won't work anymore. But I can tell you that I have weighed every pro and every con and I still want to marry your son more then anything. And can you even promise those things years later, at your age, or my parent's?"  
Karen looked at Haley, really looked at her, and saw her calm influence, her rationality and practicality, "I have to talk to Keith about this. I don't want to make a mistake Haley. I don't want to ruin his life or yours. This isn't just about Lucas, it's about you."

"If I may," Deb stepped fully into the café. When she was seated beside Haley, "I am a poster child for adolescent marriage and pregnancy. You see how well that worked out. I'm not saying Luke is like Dan, because he's not, but people can change and that's less likely to occur if you're older."

"You're less likely to change," Haley asked in disbelief.

"Everyone changes," Karen remedied, "but it's less likely to be a dramatic change."

Haley nodded, "I understand that you have to speak to Keith. I have to speak to Luke too. Thank you Karen and Deb."

When Haley had gotten into her car Deb smiled at Karen, "these kids surprise you."

"She seems so much older," Karen replied.

"These kids, particularly the girls, have gone through a lot. They had to grow up fast when their parents went on permanent vacations."

Karen nodded, this would be a harder decision then she had first believed.

0000

The moment Lucas walked through his door he knew something was different. He had begun to feel it as he had been driving Haley to Brooke's where she was intending to stay the night. She seemed quieter, just as loving, but definitely in a deep thinking mood.

"Lucas," his mother's voice made him snap to attention. She was speaking to him?

He walked into the kitchen where she was sitting with Keith, their fingers interlaced on top of the table, "yeah?"

"Sit down," Keith told him.

Luke's heart began to beat rapidly, "what's wrong? Is someone hurt?"

"No," Keith replied, he smiled at Karen and squeezed her hand, "go ahead, sweetheart."

Karen took a deep breath, "we are willing to give you and Haley our blessing, and my permission."

His eyes must have popped wide open because Keith snickered at his face. Luke took a second, "wait, you're suddenly going to agree? What happened to us being too young and naïve?"

"You both are too young," she replied, "yet you are both old enough to make your mistakes. I can't stop you, and I can't wish you ill because you're my son and I want everything to work out for you. I can only hope that you two are truly committed enough to deal with the trials of marriage."

Luke felt his heart jump, felt the swell of tears in his eyes before he rose and pulled his mother to him, "I missed you Mom."

Karen wrapped her arms around him and felt her own tears, "me too, baby, me too."

0000

Luke burst into Brooke's bedroom and stopped in surprise. It wasn't the fact that Peyton was present and painting at an isle, or Brooke who was sewing something with a very serious expression. It was the fact that Nathan was sitting at Haley's feet and was painting her toes.

"Why the hell do the people in this group lose the ability to knock," Nathan asked as he scowled from the floor.

Haley grinned, "you've been found out Nate."

Luke pointed down to Nathan, "one day soon we will discuss this."

"What are you doing here anyway Broods?"

Luke smiled at Brooke and then turned his attention to Haley, "she signed the papers, we can get married."

Haley jumped up, although Nathan protested because she had destroyed his work, and into Luke's arms, "that is amazing!"

"She told me that you changed her mind. When did you talk to her? What did you say," he asked.

"Just girl talk," Haley shrugged.

Peyton and Brooke grinned at one another. This was yet another reason that their emotions had to be out of whack. Everything was progressing perfectly with everyone. Everything was going to be all right. It had to be.


	37. Silent Volcanic Eruptions

Before Nathan had even fully wakened he knew that Brooke was down stairs in the library working on Haley's wedding dress. She and Haley had picked out material and ever since then Brooke had basically been MIA. There were only six days until Saturday May 17th. The day that Luke and Haley had chosen to be their wedding day, which meant that Brooke was on hyper drive. She and Peyton had plans to finalize with caterers, and other companies, bridal parties to attend, a bachlorette party to create and finals to finish.

He made his way down the steps and sure enough, he found Brooke in front of the mannequin. There was a tape measure in her mouth, a needle in her hand and a frown on her face, "morning, baby."

She stood up and stretched her lower back, "hey! What are you doing up, your first final isn't until noon."

"I thought I'd ravish my girlfriend this morning," he replied.

"No way," she kissed his lips and got busy measuring the bust, "your girlfriend has two bands to call, entertainment to finalize for the bachelorette party and is officially out of tampons. Guess which one you get to help with."

Nathan began to back away but Brooke looked up and shook her head, "come on baby, that is so embarrassing."

"Why is it embarrassing? It's a natural part of life," Brooke replied.

"Not mine," Nathan told her.

"It is as long as you're which me. I left a post it stuck to a twenty dollar bill on the kitchen table, just find the box that matches the words on the post it," as Nathan walked away dejectedly she called, "I love you."

0000

Nathan wondered how there could be seven billion different brands and such for tampons. Why in the world did a woman need that much fucking selection? He hid his face as an older woman walked by but when he looked up he was surprised to see Jake and Lucas standing beside him.

"What are you doing here," Luke asked.

"My girlfriend forced me to go on a fucking thirty day search for this," Nathan held up the post it.

"Oh," Luke just grinned, "that sucks."

Jake looked over the boxes and picked one out, "here you go."

Nathan checked the words and looked up at Jake in amazement, "how did you do that?"

"I have two sisters and an OB/GYN for a mother," Jake replied.

As they walked toward the cash register Nathan asked Luke, "what do you want to do for your bachelor party, besides a stripper and beer?"

"Haley and I agreed to no strippers," Luke told them.

Jake and Nathan laughed. At Luke's look of confusion Jake smacked his back, "dude, do you even know Brooke and Peyton? There is totally going to be a stripper."

"You really think so," Luke asked.

"If I know my girlfriend, and if Jake knows his, then you can be assured that there will be a naked man," Nathan replied.

"And you two are okay with it," Luke asked.

Nathan put the tampons on the conveyer belt, "we're getting a stripper so I figure its fair. Plus I trust them."

"Nathan, Luke and Jake," Deb smiled at all three boys.

"Hey mom," Nathan bent and kissed her cheek.

She glanced at the conveyer belt, "Brooke?"

"Yeah," he rolled his eyes.

Deb patted his cheek, "you're a good boy. Oh Luke, I was so pleased to get an invitation to your wedding."

"You helped her out a lot during the trial," Luke replied.

"You two are good kids," Deb told them. Luke gave her a hug and felt his heart begin a fast rhythm. In less then a week he'd be marrying Haley.

0000

Tuesday was a rough day. Almost everyone had two finals and yet they still had a ton of finalizing to do. Not to mention Brooke, who couldn't manage to get Haley's dress just right. Wednesday was better. It was the night of their respective parties. Everyone met at Haley's house before dividing.

"Have fun," Haley told Luke and added a kiss.

He gave her a long hug, "don't do anything I wouldn't do."

She winked and then was being pulled by the girls out of the house toward the huge Hummer limo out front. Luke watched as they all filed in, "will they be okay?"

Nathan laughed, "come on, let's crack the keg before he decides to run after them."

Lucas obediently followed the guys back into the house. They spent an hour or two taking turns playing Madden and NBA Live. Then after everyone was at least marginally drunk they squeezed into two vans and headed off toward the biggest strip club in Carolina.

0000

Haley stepped out of the changing booth in neon pink booty shorts and a black and pink bustier, "this is so not me Brooke."

"Hot Mama," Bevin called out.

Everyone laughed and Brooke looked her over, "Haley, you are hot!"

"Plus it doesn't matter if it's not you," Peyton added, "because you won't be wearing it for long."  
All the girls hollered and Haley just blushed scarlet, "you guys!"

"Come on tutor girl," Brooke motioned for her to go change, "we still have a few more stops to make."

0000

Lucas stared at the woman who was standing above him. Her legs were on either side of his hips and she was quite naked. He gulped and took another sip of his beer, "this…this is amazing."

"I'd say so," Nathan replied and tucked a single into the thong of the woman in front of him. He was a guy, he responded to simple things, but his heart was still in the very capable hands of his girlfriend, wherever she happened to be.

"Can I take you home honey," Tim's question had everyone looking at him, "what?"

The stripper shook her head, "honey, I'm a stripper not a whore."

"You are an idiot," Nathan told him.

"Why, what's the difference?"

The stripper huffed and accidentally kicked Tim in the stomach on her way down from the table. One of their friends and fellow basketball teammates fell over laughing, he was ridiculously drunk. Lucas and Nathan just laughed.

0000

Haley took another shot and felt it burn down to her toes, "dude, I can't drink anymore."

"Yes you can," Brooke began to say but the limo slammed to a halt.

A moment later everyone was outside with the driver and Brooke was pissed. Haley tried to comfort her but she wasn't having it.

"It looks bad," the driver told her.

"Let me explain supply and demand. I supply the credit card and I get to demand service," Brooke told him through clenched teeth. Haley didn't see her wink at the driver.

Suddenly a tow truck pulled in front of them. Haley sighed, "thank God."

The man who got out was attractive but that wasn't what got Haley's attention. He barely looked at the limo but stated that he, "knew what was wrong."

"Can you fix it," she asked.

"Hold on," he put his tool box down and that's when Haley realized it was a stereo. As the techno beat came blaring out he ripped his pants off and began to gyrate toward her. All the girls screamed and giggled in complete surprise.

"I'm going to kill you," Haley whispered to Peyton and Brooke.

0000

"Jeremiah was a bull frog/ Was a good friend of mine/ I never understood a single word he said/ But I helped him drink his wine," Luke paused and then smiled at Nate, "and he always had some mighty fine wine."

Nathan waved his hand in front of his face. Luke reeked of booze, "you are drunk man."

Luke allowed Nate and Jake to prop his arms on their shoulders, "joy to the world/ all the boys and girls!"

"And tone deaf," Jake added.

Luke looked around, "where are we going?"

"We're going to get you back to Hales' house and into bed," Nathan told him.

Behind them Mouth and Skillz were dragging Fergie, who had found himself in a similar position, "Haley is going to be pissed at you!"

"I think she's staying at Brooke's house until the wedding," Jake called back.

"Good thing," Jake scrunched up his nose at Luke's breath, "because he is really, truly hammered."

0000

Thursday was the rehearsal dinner. By the time it rolled around everyone was over their respective hangovers, although Tim still complained of a stomach ache. Karen had agreed to have to the dinner in her café. With Brooke's help the café became a wonderland of soft lighting and floral scents. The tables had deep red table clothes and Karen used her best china.

Brooke did many rounds to make sure everything was perfect. She wanted Haley and Luke's day to go off without a hitch, she wanted perfection. Finally Nathan rose from his seat beside Luke's chair and gently took Brooke's arm before spinning her into his arms. She smiled up at him, "it's not dancing time yet."

"You need to sit down and get something to eat," he reminded her.

"I know but I don't want Haley to have to worry about anything," Brooke replied.

Nathan kissed her lips and backed her toward her side of the table. The table was long with the three bride's maids, Haley and Luke and then the three groom's men. Brooke sat because she knew when her boyfriend wouldn't budge. She took a bite of the chicken cordon bleu that Jake had prepared and felt her mouth watering, "Jake this is amazing. How did you do this between the History final and the dinner?"

He shrugged, "I'm gifted. Peyton is a very lucky woman."

Peyton laughed and winked down to him. She rose and tapped her fork gently on the glass, "I'd like to propose a toast."

Everyone hushed as Peyton turned toward Haley and Luke, "Saturday will be the best man's and the maid-of-honor's speech so I figured I'd throw mine out tonight. Haley, you are an amazing woman. What you bring to this relationship is your unfailing love, your empathy and your ability to recognize hurt and to heal. Lucas, you just joined our group not even a year ago but I all ready feel like you were the missing piece. You bring your positive attitude and your fighting drive. I wish you both only the best. I can't wait to see how much more in love you two fall as the years go on."

Haley and Luke both rose to her and then sat again as Jake rose, "Lucas, as Peyton said you haven't been with us for all that long but somehow you were a piece we had been missing for years. You healed each of us individually and then as a group. Hales, I have known you forever and I have to say that you have blossomed into an amazing and talented woman. You have always been my Hales, a little sister to me. I couldn't have found better mates for the two of you."

By the time Jake sat Nathan had to scoot over to Brooke, who was dapping her tears, "I love weddings."

"It's not the wedding yet," Haley dapped at her own tears.

Nathan squatted so Brooke could hide her face in his shirt and smiled at Lucas, "you see why I couldn't wait for your wedding? She's completely vulnerable."

Brooke slapped his chest as he laughed at his own teasing. She didn't stop to really feel the strength of his heart beneath her hand or to really sink into his warmth.

0000

Friday night was a group night. They ate together and drank some wine before the boys left for the night. Right before midnight Peyton and Rachael went up stairs to bed. Brooke and Haley sat and drank another glass of wine and talked. They mostly talked about their futures and their hopes and dreams.

"…and I want it all with him," Haley concluded with a smile, "thank you so much for making everything go so smoothly. I couldn't have done anything without you."

Brooke smiled and rose, she held out her hand, "come with me."

Haley took her hand and followed her into her library. When she snapped on the lights her jaw dropped. The dress that was on the mannequin was so perfect.

"Oh my God, Brooke," Haley's tears ran over and down her face. She walked over and touched it in awe. It wasn't huge or ostentatious, it was off white, with pearls sewn in and it was long sleeved but off the shoulder. It was her fantasies come true.

"Do you like it," Brooke asked, watching her to see any signs of lying.

Haley looked at Brooke and tilted her head in shock, "how could I not love it?"

Brooke smiled as Haley hugged her. Everything was going to be perfect.

0000

Felix sat in Nikki's car outside of Lucas' house. Tonight was going to be the last night that he was going to be socially ostracized, he would have Brooke and Nathan would be out of the way. Nikki had similar thoughts except she knew without doubt that soon she would have Jake all to herself.


	38. Wedding Bells And Death Tolls

Lucas watched as Haley stood against the white wall, her face contorted in pain and her mascara running down her face, her dress bunched up beneath her. She slid to the floor with one long anguished cry before burying her face in her hands and sobbing uncontrollably.

Lucas sat up in looked around the room, he wanted Haley, where was she? The light turned on and Nathan rubbed his eyes, "what the hell are you awake for, it's only six!"

"I just had a nightmare about Haley," Luke replied.

Nathan sat up, they were sleeping head to foot in Luke's bed, "it seems to be going around."

"Nightmares?"

"Brooke has always had nightmares but lately they've gotten pretty bad. There was no way I was going to let her stay alone until Hales said she was going to stay with her," Nathan told him.

"She was crying in her wedding gown," Luke admitted finally.

Nathan sighed, "look man, in six hours you are going to be the proud husband of the future pop star, Haley Scott. Don't go borrowing trouble."

"James Scott," Luke looked at his brother, "she's going to be Haley James Scott."

"I like it," Nathan nodded his head after a moment with a grin.

"Have you ever considered Brooke Davis Scott," Luke had picked up on Nathan's comment weeks before when he had mentioned Haley and Luke getting married in Canada.

Nathan shook his head and laid down again, "so what if I have? I know we're not getting married any time soon. Brooke has a lot to prove before we can."

"Like what," Luke laid down too.

"She wouldn't ever admit it but she feels like she has to prove she can be a successful person to her parents before she'll allow herself to really move on. That's why I pushed Clothes Over Bros."

"Clothes over what?"

Nathan laughed, "that's what she decided to call her line. She said it was an old saying she and Peyton had forever."

"So my fiancé will be wearing Clothes Over Bros to our wedding," Luke asked.

Nathan nodded and laughed out loud again, "looks like it," his cell phone rang and he was still smiling when he answered it.

0000

Brooke stood paralyzed in shock at the scene before. Her heart simply ceased to beat. Suddenly she looked around a white room, her heart was pounding wildly now. As she looked down at Nathan, so still, her head split and she screamed as loud as she could.

"Brooke," Haley shook her friend awake.

"Nathan," Brooke swung up in bed screaming for her boyfriend.

Haley wrapped Brooke in her arms and tried to get her to breathe with her, "it's okay, Brooke. I'm right here."

"Where's Nathan? Is he okay," she asked.

"He's staying at Luke's house, honey, you know that."

When she could finally breathe again and was fairly certain that she wasn't going to vomit she lifted her cell phone and called him. When he answered she could hear the smile on his lips, "hey, baby."

"Hey," her heart began to slow.

"Have another nightmare," he asked.

Brooke smiled, "yeah. I just wanted to be sure you were okay."

"I'm fine, do you need me to come over?"

"No," she squeezed Haley's hand, "I have a bride to get ready. I'll see you later okay?"

"I love you Davis."

"I love you too," she closed her phone gently and then looked at Haley, "I'm sorry."

"I thought you were over your nightmares," Haley snuggled with her.

Brooke shrugged, "they come in surges. But no worries, now that we're up we can get the process started."

"It's only six," Haley pouted.

"There's no time like the present! Hop in the shower tutorbride and prepare for the best day of your life."

0000

"Okay, seriously, do we need to all be in the living room getting dressed when this is a twelve bedroom mini mansion," Peyton asked.

"There are only four of us," Rachael reminded her.

Peyton looked around the once clean room at all of the puffy material, hair stuff and make up, "how do four girls acquire this much shit?"

"A quarter of it is yours," Brooke reminded her as pushed another pin into Haley head. Haley yelped, "you'll thank me when your hair stays put all day long."

Haley sighed, it was ten minutes after nine. Two hours and fifty minutes until she would marry the man of her dreams, "I'm nervous."

"Don't be," Rachael told her, "there are scarier things then getting married. We're walking examples of that."

Peyton scowled at Rachael, "lovely time to bring up that!"

Rachael shrugged and Haley had to laugh, "I'm so happy all of you are bride's maids. It wouldn't have been the same without each of you."

"Thank you," Rachael gave Peyton her back and proceeded to pull up her dress, "zip me."

"Okay," Brooke lifted the mirror in front of Haley's face, "this is the bride."

Peyton and Rachael smiled while Haley looked at herself. She had never seen this side of herself. She was…glowing! The style Brooke had put her hair in was accented by soft waves and her make up was light but it made her shine.

Peyton stepped forward and gently clipped a pearl necklace around Haley's neck, "this was my mother's. Daddy says that she wore it the day they got married, so now it's your something old."

Before Haley could respond Rachael went to Haley and took her hand, "this was my grandmother's ring. She loved it and she was the only person in my family I loved," the ring was a gemstone with a deep silver background.

"My borrowed and blue," Haley asked with tears swimming in her eyes.

Rachael nodded, "your borrowed and blue."

"And now for something new," Brooke revealed the diamond hair clips and Haley gasped. On the edges of them were small diamond angels. Brooke began to sniffle as she cupped Haley's cheek, "I am so happy for you."

Peyton wrapped her arms around Haley from behind and Rachael took her side and Haley began to cry in earnest. Brooke sniffled louder, "your make up!"

"I don't care, come here and give me a hug," Haley pulled Brooke to her and held her. She let her happiness roll over all of them. This was going to be the best day of her life.

0000

Luke paced. Nathan and Keith were sitting on the couch watching in amusement. Jake and Skillz stood on opposite parts of the room making sure they would catch him if he made a run for it. He was obviously sweating in his fitted tuxedo, yet another addition from the closets of Clothes Over Bros. Brooke had really outdone herself.

"Okay, Skillz and Jake, do you want to go get Luke a beer," Keith asked as he rose. As they were going toward the door he told them, "but if Karen asks you're getting him ginger ale."

When they had left Nathan and Keith pushed Luke onto the couch. He looked at them with a deeply disturbed look, "I can't do this! We're only sixteen!"  
"Now you decide to think about that," Keith replied with a laugh.

"How could I have been so ridiculously stupid? We're only sixteen," Luke jumped up but Nathan held him back from the door.

"Do you love her," Keith's question was softly asked.

Luke looked at him in surprise, "of course."

"Then sit down," Nathan replied and pushed him down.

Skillz and Jake returned with the beer. Keith opened it and forced Luke to take it, "while I tell you this I want you to finish at least half of that. It's not easy to love a woman. They're temperamental, emotional, and most of the time they're wrong. They'll use you as a pounding bag and piss you off a majority of the time. But they'll also love you unconditionally and be your biggest fan. If you love Haley then you're willing to deal with all of that. If not, then you should go cancel this before it gets started."

Luke finished off the beer and after a deep breath he rose, "I have to go brush my teeth. If Haley smells beer on me she'll kill me."

Nathan smiled and directly his brother toward the small bathroom.

0000

The waves that crashed on the beach were peaceful. Somehow Haley and Brooke had managed to create a wonderland on a small stretch of beach. There was a small veranda where the priest and Luke stood, and many small white chairs with enough space in the middle for Haley to walk. Luke felt like he was in a dream.

Suddenly someone turned on soft music, it was beautiful and floated like the pianist was a nymph creating the music that sirens sang. Luke watched Rachael walk down, and then Peyton and then Brooke. As she took her place she winked at him. He smiled, all of the girls looked beautiful. Their dresses were a bright red with halter necks and some kind of flowy skirt that made each of them look amazing even though they were all so different.

"Look," Nathan's whisper made Lucas turn toward the end of the aisle where suddenly Haley had appeared at Keith's elbow.

Luke sucked in a breath and felt his heart stop for one long moment. She was absolutely, without one doubt, the most magnificent woman he had ever seen in his entire life. Her form grew blurry as his eyes filled with tears. He knew, at that very moment, that he was making the right decision. Haley was the right woman for him and doubted that would ever change. How could he ever even think he would feel these overwhelming emotions for anyone else?

"You're crying," Haley's soft voice reached him before he looked down. She was by his side, where she belonged.

Brooke sniffled loudly, which earned a small chuckle from those in attendance and handed Lucas a tissue. He wiped his eyes and smiled down at her beautiful face, "you look beautiful."

"You look pretty good yourself," she replied. Lucas had never seen her smile so hugely.

The service began and continued in a beautifully scripted way with the soft waves in the background. Finally the priest spoke the words that everyone had been waiting to hear, "I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Lucas E. Scott. You may now kiss your bride."

Luke bent down and captured her mouth, his whole heart growing and throbbing. Every word of his vow had only intensified his deeply seated emotions. Haley was his whole world. Nothing mattered, not basketball, not the group and all their drama, for a moment he was free in his love for his wife.

"I love you," Haley cried against his lips. He delved deeper into the kiss, provoking many chuckles among the crowd. Finally they turned and began their journey down the aisle. Brooke walked with Nathan behind them, although Nathan spent the whole minute of the walk handing her new tissues because she had soaked the others. Jake and Peyton walked behind them and Peyton was doing much the same for Jake. Finally Rachael walked with Skillz, as she passed Mouth she winked and whispered, "I love you."

He nodded, his grin was huge as he clapped.

0000

The reception was in full swing hours later. They had pitched a huge white tent lower down the beach, behind Deb's old beach house to be honest. She hadn't been inside of it since the day Nathan had told her what Dan had done. The lightening wasn't bright but mixed with candles and the lowering sun, it didn't matter.

Finally, after the dinner prepared under Jake's direction, Nathan rose and tapped his glass, "I'd like to make a toast. Haley, you're one of my oldest friends. You are amazing. You're talented and smart and capable. I truly believe that you are an angel. You've helped me despite any difference we had. I love you, Hales."

"Nathan," Brooke was all ready handing Haley the tissue as she spoke his name.

"And Lucas, who knew last September that I would be toasting to my older brother at his wedding? You are more then a friend to me Lucas. You're one of my best friends, a confidant, but the most important thing you are to me is a brother. I wish you nothing but happiness. I love ya, man."

Luke rose and embraced Nathan. They pounded each other's backs in suitable ape style and had Brooke and Haley crying harder. Finally after a harsh gulp of champagne and a quick redo of her eyeliner Brooke rose, "Haley…oh God I promised I wouldn't cry again! Okay, I'm all right, thanks P. Sawyer. Hales, you have never looked as stunning as you do right this moment. Everything about you just shines. You're married!"  
Everyone laughed and Brooke took another long moment to get another tissue, "all right. I love thee, I love but thee; with a love that shall not die; till the sun grows cold and the stars grow old. William Shakespeare wrote that. When I read that I realized that there wasn't much that I could say in a speech that would be more explanatory then those words. I hope that you'll take those words and live by them. But more then hoping, I know you two will because true love always finds a way. I don't have to waste hope on you two, you guys are the ones who supply me with it. I love you both."

0000

"Are you ready," Felix asked, gazing into the tent.

Nikki huffed uncomfortably, "yeah, let's just get this over with."

He finally looked at her. Her face was flushed and she was breathing heavily, "you okay?"

"Yeah," her voice was ice cold, "just don't screw up. We only have one chance at this."

0000

Lucas had been dancing with Brooke when it happened. He had seen Jake's intense gaze toward the flap of the tent. Brooke had sensed it and had assessed the area, "shit, for some reason Nikki's here. I should go!"  
"No, you're all ready too involved, if we want her out of her calmly then you can't go near her," Lucas sighed in relief suddenly, "Nathan's going with him!"  
Brooke nodded curtly and resumed the slow dance, "I can't believe she would have the nerve to show up to your wedding and try to crash it…bitch!"

Luke laughed and held her closer, mostly because he was afraid she'd decide to go outside after all, "just cool it. Peyton and Haley are talking to Peyton's Dad, they didn't notice."

The dance finished but as Brooke was walking back toward the bride and groom table she noticed a person she hadn't been expecting to see, "he did not show up here too!"  
"Shit," Luke muttered as Brooke stalked toward the flap and outside. He glanced at Haley, she was laughing with his mother, and followed Brooke.

0000

"What the hell is going on," Brooke's voice was like steel. Luke walked up behind her and noticed that Nathan, Jake and Nikki were on the pier.

"It's about time that we really talk," Felix replied.

She pointed her finger but before she could yell at him Luke's hand was on her shoulder, "why are they on the pier?"

Brooke's mouth widened, she turned back to Felix for only one moment, "you, stay!"

"Wait," before Felix could finish the statement Brooke turned and punched him in the jaw, dropping him. Lucas stared in surprise, "let's go, Luke!"  
As the approached the pier they could both hear Nikki's shrill voice getting more anxious. She turned and rolled her eyes at Brooke, "what the hell are you doing here? Can't he do anything right?"

"Are you saying," Brooke slid forward and in front of Jake until she was so close to Nikki that her pregnant belly skimmed her own abdomen, "that you two came to crash the reception together?"

"I'm saying that you deserve to get bitch slapped," Nikki looked at Jake over Brooke, "and you deserve the same."

"Why, because I never slept with you? Damn it, women do not make sense," Jake was clearly agitated.

"Calm down, man," Nathan told him. He was very nervous about Brooke being so close to Nikki. He had to defuse this situation, "why don't we go back to the beach and talk about this?"

"Good idea," Brooke was still looking Nikki in the eyes, "Nathan take Jake back in there. Don't tell Peyton what's going on, she'll come out here and whoop her pregnant ass."

"Yeah right," Nikki was backing down.

The tension was thick but Nathan figured that he should go about this one person at a time. As he was approaching the end of the pier toward the sand he heard Nikki's words, "you have no idea how I entertain the idea of fucking Nathan."

Nathan turned around and knew without doubt that Brooke would be pissed, "you should keep your mouth shut."

"Or what," Nathan and Jake both looked down and finally noticed that the upper bars at the water's edge of the pier were removed, if Brooke moved back anymore she'd fall over. While the waters weren't as harsh as usual there were still tons of rocks down there that's why it wasn't a swimming portion of the beach.

Nathan was working up her name on his tongue when Nikki pushed all of her weight into Brooke and watched in horror as the love of his life fell backwards toward the water with the most horrific scream he'd ever heard.

"Brooke," Jake held Nathan back, but didn't even realize he was doing so. Subconsciously he was stopping his best friend from suicide. It took every ounce of the strength Jake had to hold Nathan back.

Without preamble Nikki's own momentum pushing Brooke caused her to fall over with her and then another piercing cry mixed with the first. Felix came running up beside Jake and Nathan. Lucas turned, the horror of the last three seconds shocking him, "call 911," and jumped in after them.


	39. Ashes To Ashes: Haley and Peyton

It's funny how I thought that day would perfect. That the Gods would look down on me and grant me that one small favor. Oh, how wrong I tend to be. I didn't even realize what was happening until after the ambulance had gotten there. Then I watched as they took out the bodies. I watched in horror as the love of my life, my husband, was rolled on a gurney to the back of an ambulance. I didn't feel Peyton's hand as it squeezed mine. I didn't hear Karen's sob of alarm and fear. I only could see Luke's cold, limp, body as it passed.

0000

By the time Deb drove me, Karen and Keith to the hospital Karen had gotten a hold on herself. She rushed in and asked every question that for some reason my frozen mind couldn't. Meanwhile Keith stood beside me. I had asked Keith to walk me down the aisle because when I looked at him I saw this amazing man who was sincere and loved his nephew like his own. But as I look back on that moment I realize that Keith had truly grown as a surrogate father. He had helped with the wedding and had actually welcomed me into his small family. He helped me snap out of my appalled silence.

"Haley," he turned in front of me and looked down with a serious face, "did you hear what the Doctor just said?"

I shook my head and croaked, "how could this happen?"

"Haley, the Doctor said that they're working on him now and aside from swallowing too much salt water and some bruises he should be okay."

"He's okay," I remember asking the question with confusion. Everything bad always happened to me, how could Luke be okay? I wonder now how I could think such a thought.

Suddenly another gurney was wheeling past me and I saw her. I hadn't even realized that she had been in the water. Her beautiful dark hair was plastered to her face. But it wasn't her face. Brooke was a vibrant person, full of color and life. It couldn't have been the same face as the one I saw, the one pale with blue lips. Keith tried to turn me as my gaze slid down but I saw it before he could stop me. There was a hole in her. My thoughts were jumbled and I heard a high pitched scream. I don't know how I it is that I found myself on the floor and I don't know how it is that I clenched my fist so tightly that I broke my skin without noticing. But after a moment it didn't matter because the world became blessedly black.

0000

It seemed like hours later when in actuality it was only forty minutes. I was finally allowed to see Luke. He was lying down, his eyes wide open and glazed.

"Lucas," Karen went to his side and squeezed his hand.

"Are you okay son," Keith asked, he was standing behind Karen, holding her up.

Luke nodded and then turned to look at me where I stood paralyzed in the doorway, "come here, Hales."

Before I was halfway to the bed I could feel the tears coming down my face. They came in torrents. I don't know how I made it to the bed before I collapsed in the chair beside it. His hand, still cold and clammy, cupped my cheek the way that he likes to do.

"What happened," I finally asked.

He blinked, "Brooke and I tried to defuse a situation with Felix and Nikki. Nikki pushed her over off the pier. Oh my God! How's Brooke?"

I opened my mouth to speak but I felt the rising; the uncontrollable tide. I turned and brought the waste basket to my lap as I vomited all of my wedding dinner into it. As odd as it sounds I looked into that trash can and saw my life. It was waste, a messed up jumble of a few good times and far more bad times.

"Mom," Luke looked at Karen, "you have to go make sure she's okay. I thought I saw blood."

"Luke," Keith began.

Luke's eyes widened, "what?"

"She's hurt Luke," I whispered the words. I looked into his eyes and knew that he would understand my pain because he loved Brooke as much as I did, "she's hurt really bad."

"How bad," he whispered.

Suddenly Deb burst into the room. Her face was pale and her mascara had run down the length of her cheeks, "Keith, please come, Nathan needs you."

I remember rising, "what happened?"

Deb looked at Lucas and then me, "Keith, please!"

They were both gone before I could move. I sat again and turned to my husband of less then twenty four hours. I feel guilty now for feeling the intense relief that I wasn't in Nathan's position, whatever it was.

What is it that I can possibly say to convey how I felt the moment I stood by Haley and watched as our two best friends got carried away by EMTs? How can I express the fear that lodge itself deep into my very soul and stained it a deep dark red?

The moment I heard the scream I knew that Brooke was hurt. I knew in the back of mind that everything that I had been dreaming of had a basis in my instincts. A word of advice…never ignore your instincts. They just might save your life, or your best friend's. I ran down to the beach even before I heard the second scream. The howl of a bitch. By the time I got to Jake's side he was literally straining and breathing heavily, holding Nathan back. I'll never forget the look in his eyes. It was pure, unadulterated agony. I've felt pain but I didn't recognize that. Somehow Jake managed to keep Nathan on the beach. I don't think Nathan knows that he had been crying. He could have filled buckets.

It's funny how the whole world slows down so that a few moments turn into hours. Haley appeared at my side and unconsciously I gripped her hand, I believe that just as unconsciously Rachael had held mine. We were a chain of gut wrenching fear. As Luke was pulled out I closed my eyes. He was blue. His face was pale and he had a nasty bruise on his head. I don't think Haley realizes to this day that she squeezed my hand so hard that she broke my pinky finger in my right hand.

I shiver now as I remember them taking out Nikki. She was conscious and screaming. Just to get this straight, I hate that bitch. I hate her! She deserved everything that happened to her. I can only wish that her pain and suffering had been worse. Everyone gasped in horror. Have you ever seen a rock jammed into someone's neck? I have. If it was possible and Rachael wasn't holding me back, I would have jumped on the gurney and finished the job.

I watched Deb lead Haley, Karen and Keith away. I don't think she realized that Brooke was still in the water. I guess she was praying like the rest of us that there hadn't been two female screams. But right as they began to leave, right behind the ambulance, they pulled Brooke out. What was so deeply disturbing about Brooke compared to the others was that she wasn't moving. Lucas had been breathing, you could see it in his chest, Nikki had been screaming, but Brooke was still.

I will never, ever forget looking down and seeing the jumbled mess that was her abdomen. Something had impaled her stomach. Her lips, usually so glossy and quirked were blue and her gorgeous hazel eyes were closed. I could feel my heart clench. I was a helpless little kid again and my father was telling me that my mother was dead. I'd seen death before, I was certain that I was about to see it again.

"Oh my God," Rachael's voice was rough. She fell backwards and I released her hand in an effort to get to Nathan. He was running toward her. He was shaking too, his whole body was a shivering mess and I realized he was wet too. Somehow he had gotten away from Jake and into the water.

"Brooke," he had screamed her name but you could hear in his tone that he was begging her to be okay. Begging her to come back.

0000

Mouth drove all of us to the hospital. I don't remember the ride. I remember trying to prepare myself for the inevitable. My best friend was dead. I had seen it myself, with my own eyes. Brooke hadn't been moving, her chest had been still. I will swear one thing to you, at that moment I was so certain of her death that I was wondering how we would get Nathan upstairs to the Psych ward to be on suicide watch.

Before Mouth had even stopped the car Nathan was out and I was with him. As we waited we saw Deb. Nathan slammed his fist on the counter and I realized in some awe that he had cracked it, "Brooke Davis."

"Are you a relative," the nurse had asked.

"I'm her boyfriend," he replied.

Deb walked over to us, "what happened?"

"Brooke was in there too," Jake replied.

"Oh my God," Deb stood beside her son, "I'm Debra Davis, her mother. He's allowed to know anything he wants."

The nurse looked suspicious but one does not question Mrs. Scott when she's pissed. The nurse looked at the computer screen and paled, "she just came in a few moments ago. They're doing everything they can."

"I want to see her," Nathan told her.

"That's not possible," the nurse replied.

At that moment I wanted to kill her. I'm not typically so violent but in that one short hour, I wanted to kill quite a few people. Anything to make the coming heartache easier to bear.

"When I know something, you'll know something."

Nathan sat beside me on the cold plastic chairs. I don't remember how it is that I came to be sitting, but I was. He was still shivering, I think we all were. My fingers crawled into his hand and held on tight, really, I held on for dear life.

0000

In the course of forty minutes a lot can happen in your mind. You realize that one friend is going to be okay. You worry about that one you haven't heard about yet. You don't expect to get news on the bitch who started it all.

"Are you Mr. Jagielski," Jake and I both looked at the nurse in confusion.

"Yes," his voice was rough. He was close to losing it.

"Mr. Jagielski, I'm sorry to inform you that Nikki Smith has passed away. We did everything that we could to save her, but her injuries were too severe. When we tried to remove the rock the main arteries that lead to the brain bled out too quickly. She lost tremendous amounts of blood."

"Wait," he rose, "why are you telling me this?"

The doctor looked as confused as we felt, "she had the cesarean before. Your daughter is in the neonatal ward."

"My daughter," I almost rolled my eyes. Was she still trying to lie in her death?

"Before we put her under she said that we were to put your name on the birth certificate as the father. As such, you are the primary guardian of the infant," the doctor replied.

We both were shocked but not even a moment later another doctor came out, "Mrs. Davis and Mr. Scott, I'd like you both to come with me."

That was the last I saw of Nathan for a long time. For a few minutes I began to believe that she was okay but then I saw Deb walk out of the back, sobbing, and knew that something had gone terribly wrong.


	40. Ashes To Ashes: Jake and Lucas

I have seen agony personified. I have seen my best friend racing to jump into a beach full of sharp rocks that could easily drag even a strong man like him under the water and hold him there. I have seen a lot in my short years on this Earth. What I never thought I would see, at least not until I was married with a huge career, was my daughter lying in an incubator. As odd as this may sound the moment I looked at Jenny's frail body and realized that she had no one else in the whole world, I knew that I wasn't going to let her go. She wasn't from my body but quite suddenly she was my daughter.

While Peyton was following Keith into the back room with Deb I had stood in the waiting room. If they were all just going in there to try and consol Nate as he mourned for Brooke because she was dead then I couldn't be there. In my mind I knew that I would be physically unable to watch that. My heart would simply shrivel. Nate has been my best friend forever and Brooke has always been my little sister. I have two older sisters, but Hales and Brooke were always my self professed little sisters. I've slept in the same bed with them as often as I've slept alone or with Peyton. If Brooke was dead then I wanted nothing to do with it. In a mind in shock the arbitrary thought that if you don't see it, it's not happening, seems highly realistic.

Eventually I got into the elevator and to the neonatal ward. The doctor who had found me had also given me a wrist band that allowed me access to the baby. I don't remember the nurse dressing me in the sterile gown or sitting beside the incubator, I only remember trembling. I happen to remember that because ever since I had seen Brooke's intestines lying uncovered in her ripped apart belly I'd been shaking.

"What do you want to name her," the nurse asked. I think that she thought I was mourning Nikki's death. I didn't tell her the truth. I didn't tell her that in the car I had fantasized about slitting her throat myself. I had watched her push Brooke, my little sister, my biggest ally, off the pier toward some of the rockiest parts of the beach.

Brooke had once said that Peyton and I should name our first kid together Jennifer because it would sound so good with her name, "Jennifer Brooke Jagielski."

The nurse took down the name and told me about her condition, how she was in some trouble. Her lungs weren't fully developed and there was a chance that she wouldn't make it. I decided that I could handle those odds. Jenny looked better then Brooke had. Isn't it funny how Brooke can still give you hope even when she's not around to speak to you?

0000

I looked up at the clock and realized that not only had an hour passed but Peyton was walking my way. The look on her face was enough to stop my blood cold. I rose and reached for her hand, I realized that her right hand had a bandage on it, "what happened?"

"I hurt my finger," she looked down at the incubator, "what are you doing in here Jake?"

"She has no one else in this whole world Peyton. Nikki lived off of her aunt, everyone knows that, this little girl needs a family," I replied.

"What about the father," the look on her face was so betrayed. I felt like the ass she must have thought me to be.

"Nathan needs you," she finally told me.

I didn't speak for a very long time. When I did, I didn't recognize my own voice, "how bad?"

Her beautiful eyes, the eyes of an angel, looked down at her hands as she replied, "she's in surgery. The surgeon said that she was the worst case he'd ever seen, he said that we should prepare ourselves for the worst. We have a long wait, Jake, and he needs you."

I took one last look at Jenny and rose, "let's go."

0000

The moment that I stepped into the waiting room on the operating room floor I saw them. It's funny how we all cling to each other in tragedy. I wonder if anyone else in the world has the kind of adhesion effects that we do on one another. Nathan was pacing, Deb was sitting with Karen and Keith, her tears still manage to surprise me. I had never seen Deb Scott cry until that moment, not even at Dan's trial. Haley wasn't there, I assumed that she was still with Lucas in his room on the Med-Surg. Floor.

"You're going to leave tread marks if you keep that up," I don't know where that comment came from. It slipped past my lips before I could stop it.

Nathan looked up and I wanted to puke. There's something you should know about Nathan, he's strong. If you ask him he'll say that Brooke gives him everything, at least when he's not being an ass. What he doesn't realize is that for as much as he depends on Brooke, she depends on him ten times more. Everyone in the group is guilty of forgetting that Brooke is a human being. In her mind we all come first then her needs. In Nathan's mind she comes first before everything. That's why he quit the team when he thought he no longer had her love, that's why he flipped out at the emergency room nurse, and that's why he was willing to risk his life to dive into that beach after her. In the mind of Nathan Scott there is only Brooke. I knew that if Brooke didn't make it Nathan wouldn't either.

You may wonder how I could make that assessment about high school kids and I would laugh…loudly. Brooke has been through so much shit that she might as well be thirty and Nathan would probably be thirty five. I had absolutely no doubt in my mind that they were meant to be together. Some things are predestined.

"It's bad Jake," his words slid over everyone. He had whispered but the truth of the actual situation hit us all like a ton of bricks. It was very much possible that Brooke wouldn't make it, "I saw her…it's bad. I can't lose her, I just can't."

I went forward and while this may sound gay to some it was completely necessary. I held Nathan up as he cried, he pounded my back until it felt like I had been beaten. I hope to God that I never see him that way again.

We waited and waited and still we waited. Hours went by like the steady drip of an icicle thawing. No one spoke, everyone knew that it was life or death. And when the doctor finally came out he spoke quietly to Deb, thinking she was Brooke's mother. Deb stifled a cry and turned to Nathan with the saddest look in her eyes. I closed my eyes and covered my ears like a little boy. I didn't want to hear her say it.

XOXO

Haley asked me why I did it. Why I risked my life, inside of my head I laugh at that. She would have done the same, as would Jake, Nathan, Peyton and even Deb. I was simply the closest to her. I had the better chance. Of course I couldn't manage to get that right. Who the hell dives into a beach full of rocks? Yes, I'm that idiot. I remember hitting my head and that's it. The next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital. Why did I do it? Because I had to try.

0000

The doctors wouldn't let me wait upstairs with the rest of my family, and that's what our group is, a family. Needless to say, I was pissed. From what Haley was telling me Nikki had died. That scared me because if Nikki could die, six months pregnant and in the prime of her life, then Brooke could too.

"You should go up and be with Nathan, he needs as many of us as possible," I whispered. For some reason every time I enter a hospital I whisper. I guess I've always been afraid, I've always been fearful. Until I met Brooke. I had fallen in love with her the first moment I saw her that day in Nate's kitchen. Of course that had trickled down to the love of your best friend. Brooke is indeed my best friend. The only thing that surpasses my love for her is my love for Haley. That was why I didn't rip my IV out and head upstairs.

"I'm afraid to leave you," she whispered back.

I looked her over and realized that she was still in her wedding gown. It was our wedding night and we were sitting in a hospital, "I'm sorry this happened Hales."

"It's not your fault. I just want this to be over I want her to be okay and I want all of this shit to stop. When do we get to catch a break?"

I hooked my arm around her waist and pulled her to me. She cried again, this time it was in frustration. It wasn't a magical fairyland that we were in, it was reality. It was cold and stark and truly enough to chill my blood to this day. I wanted to have the answer for Haley. I wanted to tell her that every thing would be okay. But I didn't want to lie.

"Listen to me Hales," I gently caught her chin and waited for her to meet my eyes, "everything could go wrong right now. Brooke could die. If, God willing, she gets out of this without a scratch, then we'll still have each other. If she…dies, then we'll still have each other. I know it and I think you know it too."

She nodded and for a moment I was transfixed by her eyes. The pools of the suffering. I had seen her eyes as she wept and not nearly enough times while she was smiling. I kissed her mouth, my wife's mouth, and brought our foreheads together gently, "Nathan needs you now."

"I love you," she rose and walked away without another word. She needed to keep herself composed until she saw Nathan. He would need composed, practical Haley, not the woman beneath, the one with the broken heart.

0000

What is it about Nathan and Brooke's relationship that changed my mind, that actually made me fall out of love with her? That was a question I asked myself as I waited. My feelings for her were still intense but just directed in a different way. Sometimes I think she knew how I felt those first few months. But if she did then she was certainly a good actress. Still, she managed to push me to Haley in some twisted way, knowing that we would connect. Brooke's good like that. She knows what you need and provides it.

I was startled by the knock on my door. A nurse walked in, she was shaking. I sat up, I barely felt the headache, "what is it?"

"You're needed on the surgical floor. You're brother is flipping out," she replied.

I got out of bed and managed to speed walk with her toward the elevator. As we stood she helped me put my socks on. It's funny how I remember that moment. As the doors opened I saw Deb crying and Nathan on the floor, Jake and Keith trying to restrain him, as he beat the living hell out of Felix.


	41. Ashes To Ashes: Brooke and Nathan

Brooke looked around her. She knew that she was in Tree Hill, she knew that she was on Fisher Ave., the street that she and Haley lived on. She knew this place like she knew she own face but it was different. She didn't remember getting there or why she would be there. It was all very strange. So she walked. Eventually she got to Haley's house. She entered without knocking, like always.

A little boy ran past her. He stopped long enough to peer into the living room and chuckle uproariously. He couldn't have been older then four but he was adorable. Blonde hair, hazel eyes and the cutest smile Brooke had ever seen. Suddenly Luke ran to the boy and lifted him in his arms.

"Where were you running off to little boy," Luke kissed his cheek as he gently lowered him to the ground.

Brooke smiled, "this is your son? You have a son?"

Luke ignored her, "come on, Ryan, Momma'll be home soon and we have to get this place picked up."

"Why are you ignoring me Lucas Eugene Scott," Brooke pouted.

He continued into the living room and the little boy followed. Brooke realized with no small amount of shock that he couldn't see her.

"Daddy, who is that woman," the little boy pointed to Brooke and she snapped back. Could the kid, Ryan, see her?

Luke turned and sighed, "that's a picture of your Auntie Brooke."

"Where is she," he asked.

Brooke watched him gulp. Where the hell was she and why wasn't Luke answering his son? She turned on her heel and left. As she slammed the door Luke felt a breeze across his cheek. It almost felt like when Brooke would kiss his cheek in hello with her normal hug. But he knew that it couldn't be.

0000

She wandered for a while. She didn't dare to go to her house. Tree Hill was exactly the same, but Luke had looked different, he had looked older. The same Luke, but his hair had kind of grown out but there were also little lines around his mouth. His eyes looked sad too. That broke her heart. She knew that Dan's trial had hurt him too. Luke had wanted another father, but at least he had Keith.

Brooke stopped suddenly, she hadn't realized that had walked all the way to Peyton's house. Before she could even greet Peyton she stopped. First because she had the suspicion that Peyton wouldn't see her and second because she looked like shit. Her hair was a tangled mess and looked light brown because it was so dirty. Her eyes were huge and glazed like she was high.

"What the hell have you done to yourself, P. Sawyer," Brooke whispered. Peyton had always been ridiculously thin but now she was a toothpick.

"I told you that you couldn't come here," Jake's voice had both women turning to see him on the porch.

"She's my daughter too, Jake," Peyton slurred and almost toppled over. Brooke quickly caught her arm and righted her. Peyton looked around, did the air smell like Brooke's old perfume or was it the booze and the blow?

"Was she your daughter when stole her piggy bank so you could buy some more drugs," he asked. Brooke sighed, this was a very unhappy Jake Jagielski.

Peyton began to cry, "I can't help it, I need it. Just let me talk to her, I'll be really quick, I promise."

Brooke's eyes widened as a little girl with the most gorgeous puppy dog eyes stepped from behind Jake, she was the image of Peyton without the eyes. She could only be a year or two older then Ryan.

"Brooke, go back inside," Jake's voice was gentle.

At the sound of her name Brooke gasped. They had named their daughter after her! Brooke ran forward and wrapped her arms around Jake, "thanks, Jagielski."

Jake felt his tense muscles unwind. He felt really good all of a sudden. His self-doubt and anger gone, replaced with calm. He put his hand on Brooke's shoulder, "Peyton, when you are sober you can come back to talk to her."

Peyton cried more, "I don't know how to stop myself."

"Be the woman Davis wanted you to be," Jake told her and then hustled his daughter back inside the house.

Brooke watched Peyton stumble down the street and wondered once more what the hell had happened that she had let Peyton get so bad. That she had let Peyton fall to her demons?

0000

Brooke decided to head back to Luke and Haley's house. By the time she returned the night was closing in on them. Before she even opened the door she could hear the argument. She crept through the house to the kitchen where she promptly ducked because a frying pan had sailed straight for her head. She turned from the mess on the wall to the couple arguing.

Haley was heavily pregnant and Luke was obviously trying to be accommodating to her mood, "why would you tell him that? Why would you tell him about her?"

"He's seen her picture up there everyday since he was born. He was bound to ask one day," Luke replied.

"Now I'll have to hear him asking everyday. Do you know how that's going to affect me? I can't handle all of this. I didn't even want this baby," Haley yelled.

Both Brooke and Luke's eyes widened. Luke stiffened and Brooke laced his finger with hers, giving him strength to hold it together. He looked down at his fingers in awe, "look, Hales, I know that things haven't been easy but I love you and I'm here for you. Maybe I don't tell you enough anymore. I love you."

Brooke smiled and nodded, that was good. She walked in front of Haley and put her hands on her tummy before bending down to kiss it, "be nice Hales."

Haley sucked in a breath as the baby fluttered within her. It felt like angel wings inside of her belly. She took Luke's hands and put them on her belly, "I love you too."

"Tell me you weren't serious. Tell me you want our daughter," he begged.

Brooke let them talk and made her way upstairs. He was staring at the plastic stars on his ceiling so she gently sat on the edge of Ryan's bed. Suddenly he looked at her, "hi Auntie Brooke."

"You can see me," she squealed.

"Course, you're my Auntie Brooke. What are you doing here," he asked.

"I'm not quite sure," she bent to kiss his cheek, "but I do need to go."

"Are you going back to heaven," he asked.

Brooke felt her breath leave her body, "heaven?"

"Daddy and Momma said you live in heaven."

0000

Brooke rushed through Tree Hill. She needed to find Nathan. Nathan would be able to see her. He had always been able to see the Brooke she hid from the vultures. She went to Deb's house but he wasn't there although she did see Deb making out with the cute guy who had been an assistant coach for the Tree Hill football team. She was about to give up when she found herself in the Tree Hill Cemetery.

She wandered past Peyton's mother's grave and past her grandfather's grave. She stopped long enough to press a kiss to the tombstone. Finally she found him. He was sitting beside the tombstone sobbing. Brooke stepped forward enough to read her name on the tomb. She sucked in a breath as ice cold realization came upon her.

"Why God? Why her? She was the best, she was amazing. Why did you give me an angel and then take her away," she watched him rise. He looked toward the star lit sky and screamed, "I hate you! What kind of God takes away the only good part of a man? How do you expect me to go on without her? Just take me too. Just take me, I need to be with her."

Nathan finally withdrew his hand gun from his pocket and looked at it, "I need to be with her again."

"Nathan James Scott," Brooke felt weak with sadness, "don't you dare."

He looked around startled, "I love you Brooke."

Brooke felt her tears trickle down her face. She wrapped her arms around his waist and nuzzled his chest, she heard his heart hitch as if recognizing that hers was near, "I love you too Nathan. Please don't do this. Be happy, move on."  
"I'll never move on," Nathan continued to whisper to the gun.

"I want you to stop this," she begged and realized she was sobbing now.

He brought the gun to his temple, as he did so Brooke looked down and realized that there was a growing red stain on her stomach. She lifted her shirt and watched her intestines slip out and fall to the dirt. As the gun exploded she screamed and then there was only a bright white light.

XOXOXOX

My mother turned to me and the look in her eyes stopped me cold. I saw Jake from the corner of my eye burying his face in his hands. She was opening her mouth to say something when I saw him. He was standing in the other doorway. My body, not even a second ago ready to hear if my girl was still with us, turned to stone. I felt my arm muscles flex, I pumped my toes, murder on my mind.

"How is she," I still can't believe he had the balls to ask that.

My mom tried again but I was all ready halfway to him. I tackled him, he hadn't been expecting it, and before we even reached the ground my fist was jammed into his jaw. I felt the raw power of knowing that I controlled how far this went, I controlled if that sick son-of-a-bitch lived to see one more day. Haley says that Jake and Keith tried to pull me off but I don't remember that. It's funny when you black out while you're beating someone's ass. It comes back to you as if you were remembering a good movie you once watched. Now I remember it all, he had never had a chance. My fist was bloody and it mingled with his blood. By the fifth hit the left side of his face was unrecognizable.

I think I was taking my fear and pain from earlier that day and turning it into violence. I'm not quite sure because despite trying desperately to get out of Jake's grasp and getting into the ocean for a quick moment I don't remember anything after I first saw them take her out of the water. Brooke had a nice smooth stomach. When Dan was really tripping me out and pumping me up I would lay my head on her stomach and just take in the feeling of her love. That stomach was ripped apart. She had a hole in her body. I could see the gurney from the middle of her stomach. I still vomit to this day when I think about it.

I digress, I was beating Felix like I should have that first day he hit on Brooke when the elevator opened and Luke wobbled out with a nurse beside him. Something clicked, maybe it's the bond of brothers, whatever it is Luke's presence calmed me enough for Jake and Keith to pull me off. Felix tried to sit up but was so fucked up that all he could do was cry and spit out blood. I sank back onto the carpet and looked at him, "get out! Get the fuck out, you have no right to be here!"  
"I never meant for this to happen," it was hard to hear him over his weeping.

Luke finally got to my side and practically fell down. I realized that he was still sick so I grabbed his arm and helped him to a chair, "you okay?"

"Yeah, but you can't go around beating people up little brother."

Finally my mother stepped in front of me and got my attention. The moments that I was pounding were probably the only moments of the day when I wasn't thinking of Brooke. She took my bloody hand and began to cry in earnest, "the doctor said that she made it. It's not certain but she didn't die in surgery. She's sleeping now, the next few days are critical."

"She's alive," I think I asked that, or it could have been Hales. My mother cupped my cheeks, "sit down, Nate."

I sat, I felt the hope I'd just gained taking a nose dive. My mother was about to tell me something she didn't think I could handle while standing. My heart constricted, "just tell me mom."

"They…she…" she took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes. I have to give that to my mother, she looked me right in the eyes and told me something that made my blood curdle and my heart drop, "the doctor had to remove some of her intestines and her right ovary. He said that her uterus was scarred. It's very unlikely that she'll ever be able to have children."

"Oh my God," Peyton's whisper was accompanied by her fainting. Luckily Jake caught her, but as I looked at him I realized that he was just as shocked as all of us who really knew Brooke. She had a plan, given a loosely made plan, but a plan nonetheless. She wanted to get married and then have some kids. I had always known that she wanted a big family because she had been lonely as an only child. Now her dream was gone.

"I need to tell her," I rose.

"She's asleep," Karen reminded me.

I shook my head, "no one else should tell her except me. She won't take it well from anyone except me."

"Honey, they don't even know if she's going to make it," my mother reminded me.

I looked at her with complete conviction, "she's going to make it. She's Brooke Davis, she's strong."

0000

I sat beside her bed that first night and next morning without a thought of anything other then her. The gang came and went but I sat on the chair beside the bed for hours. Finally as Luke was being discharged he entered Brooke's room.

"How you doing little brother," he asked gently.

"Not so good," my girl was bruised up and swollen, "I just wish she would wake up."

"Me too," I felt his hand on my shoulder. He didn't squeeze it or rub it, he wasn't trying to comfort me, only to be there. It's nice to have a big brother sometimes.

"It wouldn't be so bad if she would just wake up. I can handle anything if she's with me. I hope I do the same for her when I have to tell her."

"Nate, you saw her when you guys broke up. She was mess. If there is one constant, one thing we can all count on, it's your love getting through every situation. Brooke is so in love with you that most of the time she doesn't even see us."

I laughed at that, "Brooke always sees you and the gang. She's very protective of her family."

Luke laughed too before bending down and pecking her temple, "you better wake up soon Brooke, we miss you."

He left and I was alone with her again. When I was sure no nurses were going to pop in and Luke was gone I shifted myself into her bed, careful not to disturb her position, and stroked her cheek, "he's right Davis. You have to wake up because I can't live without you. I can barely live with you just asleep like this. I want you to know that I love you. Even when I was being the biggest ass you've ever met in your life, I loved you with everything. You know that I've never been good at explaining how I feel but I'll try, if you just wake up I'll try my hardest."

When she didn't move or speak I finally took the time to just let it all out. It's amazing how just being in the same bed with her can open you up and force you to look into your soul.

0000

It was three long days later when I finally went to take a shower that everyone showed up. It was an intervention. I walked back into Brooke's room in fresh clothes and everyone was there. Someone had opened the blinds and the morning sun was pouring in. Poor Lucas looked awful. His face was like looking at a Technicolor screen.

"What are you guys doing here," I asked as I took my post beside Brooke's bed.

Haley put her hand on my shoulder, "you have got to go home and get some sleep."

"Nope," I was determined to be there the moment she woke up.

"Come on, you're not sleeping, you're not eating," Jake reminded me.

As if on cue my stomach grumbled loud enough to shake the foundation of the hospital. Still I shook my head, "no. I'm staying until she opens those gorgeous eyes."

Everyone began to argue lightly over what to do next, how to get me out of the hospital. I felt a shifting and was startled when Brooke fingers, the one's that I had held for countless hours, twitched. Suddenly, in a very rough morning voice, I heard, "would somebody close the fucking blinds?"


	42. Tortured Souls

Brooke watched as Nathan fussed around her. She had been in the hospital for eight days, five of which she had been awake. Five of which she had known something was wrong. No one was talking, she knew that was Nathan's doing. She knew that Nikki had died and for the hour that Peyton had stayed with her while Nathan went to shower she found out that Jake was taking Jenny. She knew that he'd make an amazing father.

"You could sit down," she told him with a grin.

Nathan stopped and smiled down at her, "I love you."

Brooke smiled brightly, he had been chanting those words like a mantra for the past few days, "I love you too. Do you want to tell me what's up now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Let's not play that game, Nate. We both know that I know whenever you're keeping something from me," she winked playfully. She all ready knew that she had an obstructed bowel, whatever that was, and that she wouldn't shit right for a few weeks but that really wasn't a big deal. She sensed something more. Something that Nathan really wanted to keep from her. Brooke knew her boyfriend, he was really afraid she'd take it badly.

Nathan took a seat on her bed and gently rubbed her hand, "there is something I need to tell you."

"Okay," Brooke looked him in his eyes and felt her stomach flutter.

He could sense how nervous she was but he knew that he had to tell her. He never wanted secrets between them again, "while the doctors were inside of you…"

"Nathan," she wanted to cup his cheeks but moving forward upset her staples, "I know you love me. We fight for each other, together, always."

Nathan nodded and felt his eyes swell, "they took out your right ovary. The rocks scratched up your uterus; you probably won't be able to have kids."

Brooke's mouth opened in shock and she sat that way for many minutes. Her body lost all tone as her shock rode over her whole body. She felt her eyes fill with tears and even then she shook her head, "how is that possible?"

"The smaller rocks apparently got pushed down into your pelvic cavity, they were very sharp and very damaging," Nathan held her limp hand in his and moved forward, "Brooke, it's going to be okay."

"I can't have children," she repeated his words.

"We don't need children," he told her.

She snatched her hand away in horror, she turned tear filled eyes to him, "you want a son one day."

"I want you everyday," he promised.

"You'll resent me," she predicted. She looked around the room, looking for an indiscretion that would indicate that this was all a dream.

"Never," he denied.

"I guess we don't have to worry about birth control," her smile was so forced that it was actually ugly.

"Don't joke."

"How is this fair," she asked, "I've changed. I've been a good person."

"You have," he agreed.

"This isn't fair. I've been a good person," she cried.

Nathan wrapped his arms around her shoulder and held her as she cried. Every sob ripped apart another piece of his heart.

0000

"How is she," Peyton asked. Nathan looked like shit. Since the day he had told Brooke the truth about her condition he had been with her, in bed with her, wiping her chronic tears.

He shrugged, "as good as she can be. Maybe seeing you guys will help some but don't expect much from her."

Luke nodded and laced his fingers with Haley's as they all stepped inside. The room was dark but Brooke's outline was obvious. She was lying with her back to them and she was sniffling loudly and painfully, "Nathan?"

"I'm here baby," he gently lowered himself to her bed and put his arms around her, "the whole gang's here too."

"Hey Brookie," Peyton whispered.

Brooke's crying intensified, "I can't do this, guys. Not now, Nate, maybe later."

"It's been two weeks Brooke, soon you'll be home and you'll feel better," Nate whispered.

She let him dab her eyes with his tissue. Nathan was such a good boyfriend. He deserved far better then a girl who would never be able to give him children. She sobbed again, her body wrenching.

Nathan felt her bitter tremble and knew what was coming, he quickly brought the basin up and held her hair back as she vomited.

"Brooke," Haley slowly walked to the side where Brooke was facing, "you're making yourself sick."

"Hales," Nathan gently warned her away as he smoothed Brooke's hair back and wiped her tears.

Brooke shook her head as their eyes caught, "just go Haley. I can't see any of you now."

"I love you," Haley replied.

"I know," and the tears were even worse.

0000

Peyton walked dejectedly toward the neonatal ward. She tapped lightly on the window and got Jake's attention, "we need to talk," she mouthed.

Jake gently released Jenny into his mother's capable arms. He had told his parents that he had screwed up, that Jenny was his. They need never know otherwise. They had been less then thrilled but when he had told them he was going to step up and take responsibility they had been less angry.

He went outside of the doors and stood in front of Peyton, "how are you?"

"I'm confused Jake. I don't understand why you're taking on a child that isn't yours. In fact it's the spawn of a crazy bitch," Peyton replied.

"First of all, Jenny is not an it. She's a beautiful little girl. Second, she's no one's but mine. I don't care where she came from I'm all she has. Do you even hear yourself saying these things, Peyt?"

She sucked in a breath, "look, we just came from seeing Brooke. It's not good. We're going to be doing a few hour shifts until she gets out. Are you interested?"

"You know I am," he replied. He wasn't trying to push Peyton away but she wasn't even making an effort to understand where he was coming from.

"I'm coming over after dinner, can you maybe take over at ten so Nathan can get at least some straight sleep?"

"Yeah," Jake watched her walk away and didn't even realize that they hadn't kissed good bye.

0000

Peyton crept into the hospital room at six thirty. Nathan was staring at Brooke, who was sleeping, the look in his eyes made Peyton want to cry, "I'm here."

He looked up and rubbed his eyes, "she just fell asleep so she'll probably be out for the rest of the night because of the pain meds."

"We'll be okay, and I'll text you if she wakes up before that," Peyton promised.

Nathan nodded, he gently rubbed Brooke's cheek with his knuckle, "I don't want to leave her."

"You're not leaving her. You're taking care of yourself so you can take care of her."  
"Yeah," he bent and barely grazed his lips on Brooke's forehead before going to Peyton and repeating the gesture, "go easy on Jagielski, he's doing what he thinks is right."

Before Peyton could reply Nathan was gone and she was alone with her thoughts. She considered the fact that it was Jake's unfailing decency that drew her to him because she really raised herself. Jake had a moral foundation that would never include abandoning a child who needed him. That was all well and good, but it pissed Peyton off that Nikki was controlling her relationship through her child. Peyton just wished that Nikki was still alive so she could get a straight answer; why did she put Jake's name on the birth certificate?

"Must you think so ridiculously loud," Brooke didn't open her eyes but spoke quietly.

Peyton smiled and crawled into bed with her, "how are you?"

"I've been better," there was a hitch in her voice that she tried to cover up but Peyton heard it.

"This sucks," she told her best friend and pulled Brooke into her arms. The day of her mother's funeral Brooke had done the same for her, and then every year since. Peyton was glad to return the favor but sad that it had be returned at all.

0000

Brooke had adamantly refused to allow Peyton to text Nathan to tell him she was awake. She knew that he wasn't getting enough sleep because of her. He was worried she'd have another melt down. To be honest she felt like having a melt down. She had figured out rather quickly that while her money was good for her vanity, for her peace of mind she needed her family. She had dreamed of the day that she would be a huge fashion designer, and a soccer mom with Nathan by her side. It hurt her heart in the worst possible way that her future had been taken from her. She had honestly never felt so alone, or so empty. She tried to hold back now because Nathan and the gang truly worried too much about her, but she wondered sometimes if Nathan saw how numb she was becoming.

"I'm here," Jake walked into the room.

Peyton rose and Brooke watched as her friend swallowed. There was something about seeing your man that could give you palpitations, "hey."

He smiled and stepped forward, "hey, Peyt."

"Hi," Brooke murmured a small smile on her face.

Jake's eyes were on Peyton. She seemed warmer then she had just hours before, "how'd it go?"

"You know, Brooke's just being herself," Peyton replied.

"Thanks for talking about me like I'm not here," Brooke couldn't resist a grin.

Jake finally looked at her. His eyes went from molten hot to warm and tender, "how you feeling Davis?"

Brooke snuggled into his neck when he hugged her, happy to see him again, "I've been better."

Peyton, finally snapped out of her lust filled fantasy with Jake, kissed Brooke's hair, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye Peyton," Brooke smiled as Jake took a seat. She rubbed her hands, "let's see them."

"Are you sure," Jake sounded and looked skeptical.

Brooke nodded but when Jake handed her the pictures and she saw how small and gorgeous the baby was her heart constricted. She would never hold her newborn in her arms or watch Nathan as he rocked their child. It was truly over, her dreams would never be complete.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded and felt the numbness start to creep down over her tortured heart, "I'm fine. She is absolutely gorgeous, Jake. Truly, beautiful. Is she doing better?"

"The doctor says that if her lung capacity keeps increasing then I can bring her home in two weeks!"

Brooke sat back and selected one picture of the baby to keep, "what about Peyton?"

Jake shrugged, "I love Peyton. Either she knows that or she doesn't. If she loves me even a margin of how much I love her then she won't ask me to do the impossible."

"You know, sometimes it isn't about loving someone too little or too much. Sometimes it's about finding peace inside of yourself so you feel you like you deserve to be with a certain person or in a certain person's life. Peyton has to get her shit together inside of her head before she'll be able to feel comfortable loving you, Jake Jagielski, the father. Give her time, you've always had more patience then a saint, don't stop now."

Jake stared at her hard for a moment after her little speech. He wondered if she'd take her own advice, if she'd figure out a way to deal with her pain. Learning that you'd never be able to have children when you were still so young had to be hard. He felt her shell creeping, her pain was intensifying and he was worried she wouldn't let anyone help her.


	43. The Outskirts Of A Black Hole

On the fifth day of June Brooke was allowed to leave the hospital under the supervision of her "mother", Mrs. Debra Davis. Deb had made the appropriate phone calls to Brooke's parents, but not surprisingly they were unable to be reached. So it was determined that Brooke would be staying with them until the end of the summer. Brooke had refused but Deb was adamant.

"It's good to be home," Brooke whispered as Deb pulled the car into Park. Nathan helped Brooke up and stood close to her so he could support her while she walked. He hated to see her so weak and pale. Normally by this early part of the summer she would be tanned and road tripping to God knows where. She was walking bent over so she wouldn't disturb the fresh stitches the doctor had put after removing the staples.

"You're doing good, honey," Deb went forward to open the door and smiled as everyone yelled surprise.

Brooke looked around and tried to smile. She wanted to be happy, she would be okay, in a week she'd get the stitches removed and in three weeks she'd be able to start exercising again. She was going to be okay…at least physically. Spiritually, she wasn't so sure she'd ever recover.

Every time she saw Nathan she saw the perfect child that they would never have. She had consulted an OB/GYN and a reproductive specialist, it was all the same. Her uterus was so badly scarred that a fetus would never be able to plant itself. Should she try, she would have miscarriage after miscarriage, until the scarring finally closed off her fallopian tubes and prevented conception all together. There was nothing they could do. She would never get pregnant, never have a child, never have her dream.

"Brooke," Nathan's voice snapped her out of her morbid thoughts. His hand tightened at her lower back, "you don't have to go in, we can ask them to leave. I thought this would be a good idea."

"No," she smiled up at him but couldn't meet his eyes, "this is nice. It's been a while since I've seen everybody together."

"Everyone on the team and squad are here," Deb told her.

Brooke worked up her energy and wobbled forward with a grin on her face. A grin that made Nathan wince and the group frown over. Brooke Davis wasn't terribly convincing when she was in a lot of pain.

0000

Although Nathan had been hoping otherwise, as the weeks wore on Brooke didn't seem to be getting better. Sure, her stitches were removed and she could walk upright but she had lost her glow, the sparkle that was like a lighthouse to everyone, most especially Nathan. She spent a good deal of her time in the house, she sewed a lot and designed. It seemed like the only time that she was even a sliver of the Brooke he had known was when she was working on Clothes Over Bros. But at night when she thought he was sleeping he would hear her deep breaths as she tried to fight off the waves of helplessness. He hadn't seen or heard her cry since she had been in the hospital, he was beginning to think that was a bad thing.

On the other side of town Jake was in a similar predicament. He had brought Jenny home two weeks after Brooke had returned and hadn't really seen Peyton since. Taking care of a newborn, even with his parents and his sisters, was a tough job. But even when he was tired because she had been colicky the night before, when she smiled at him and he could see in her beautiful baby blues that she recognized him it was worth it. Jenny was his daughter, he couldn't even imagine life without her anymore. It was sometime during the first Friday of July that Peyton stopped by for the first time in a while. It was also a bad day, his parents had gone on vacation to Florida for a few days, his oldest sister was in Cancun with her sorority and his other sister was getting some sleep after taking half of the night shift with Jenny.

He had been waiting for a bottle to warm and Jenny was whimpering, a sure sign of screaming to come, when Peyton had walked into his kitchen via the backdoor. His mouth dropped open in surprise, "what are you doing here?"

Peyton's eyes widened as Jenny finally began a dedicated shriek. She looked ready to just backtrack out but seemed to find courage, "we have to talk Jake. We can't go on as we have."

"What do you mean," he asked. Of course he knew, she was finally going to call it quits. He didn't blame her, who would want to get tangled in a relationship with a man and his baby? But he had to admit that he had expected better from her. They'd been together for a longtime, he thought that their love could surpass all obstacles, apparently it couldn't.

"What's wrong with her," Peyton asked.

Jake sighed, the bottle was finally getting warm but he was holding Jenny in his other arm, "can you take her for a sec?"

Peyton reacted on instinct when Jake gently deposited the baby into her arms. She held her close to her body in surprise. She had never held a baby much less a screaming baby. But for some reason Jenny felt the difference in Peyton's hold and quieted as she finally found her fist and began to suck on it. Jake turned from the bottle in the sink to Peyton in awe, "how the hell did you do that?"

"I have no idea," she replied, her face so clearly conveying her own shock.

"Whatever you're doing keep doing it," he worked fast making sure the milk wasn't too hot and finally twisting the nipple into place. He put the nipple to Jenny's mouth and when she began to suck furiously he grinned, "we make a good team, Peyt."

Peyton, finally realizing the implications of that statement, handed Jenny back to her father. She finally got it! She had come with a prepared speech about them being in completely different worlds now and despite the ache in her chest she was going to cut him loose. She hadn't expected to feel the warm feeling her stomach at the sight of Jake cradling Jenny. But her hate of Nikki was still encumbering her, forcing her to leave behind the only guy who had ever given her heart palpitations.

"Jake," she began, her forehead crinkled in pain.

"Don't say it," he whispered, "let's talk when we can really sit and I can listen to you, and help you through this."

"No, don't you understand? You can't help me through this, this isn't a phase. I can't look at this poor child without feeling my hate inside of me. Every time I see her I think of the kids Brooke will never have, I think of Lucas an inch away a swollen brain."

"She's is defenseless in all of that," Jake replied.

"But her mother isn't," Peyton shot back.

"She is not Nikki. Jenny is a baby, Peyton, her slate is clean!"

Peyton shook her head, "you cannot expect me to just get over my emotions just because you signed on for a job that wasn't yours."

"Are you serious," Jake's eyes widened as he truly understood, "you would rather me coldly tell them she was nothing to me? You would have me put her into foster care, because of Nikki. Blood, genetics, doesn't make a person Peyton. It didn't make Nathan or Lucas or Brooke, it sure as hell won't make Jenny. I think you should get out."

"Jake," she wanted to apologize, to tell him that she really did love him but he slashed his hand through the air.

"I don't know you at all Peyton Sawyer, close the door on your way out," and with that he walked up the stairs leaving Peyton in his kitchen alone.

0000

Nathan walked into the sunroom and looked at Brooke. She was asleep, her design book on her lap. This was the closest to leaving the house and going out into the sun that she got nowadays. He wanted to take her to the beach but she had gotten so pale that he had immediately regretted saying anything. But he did want her to go out. She seemed to be wrapping herself in a cocoon, unwilling to come out for a breath.

He gently slid her book from her hand and was getting ready to lift her into his arms but her eyes opened, "hey."

She smiled, "hi. What time is it?"

"Only one, my mom isn't home," he mentioned. He had been with her at the appointment when the doctor had okayed her for light physical exercise and sexual activity. To be honest it wasn't so much about the actual sex as it was about being intimate with her again. She wouldn't let him hold her as much as he wanted and he thought that if he could just get inside of her maybe she would drop her shield.

"Where'd she go," Brooke asked.

Nate stood fully with her in his arms, "to Karen's Café to help out until closing since Haley asked for the day off."

"Don't you have basketball camp today," Brooke asked.

Nathan shook his head, afraid to tell her that he wouldn't be going to camp this year. He wanted to, especially since he could actually play again, but he didn't want to leave her for six hours a day, "nope, we have time off."

Brooke's eyes squinted in suspicion before it dawned on her, "you're not going?"

"Look, I don't want to fight," he gently put her down onto her feet.

"Don't walk away Nathan Scott, why aren't you going to camp?"

"I just don't want to this year," he replied. He was setting up shop to leave but when her small hand closed over his fingers he stopped. He turned and looked at her, the gorgeous hazel eyes he loved were wide and angry.

"How do you expect to improve if you don't practice? Nathan, what are you doing? Basketball used to mean something to you," Brooke implored.

"You mean more," he finally admitted.

Her face dropped, "please don't tell me you're not going to camp because of me."

He stepped forward and cupped her face, "I love you Brooke and you need me. Whether you want to admit it or not."

"Nathan," she swatted his hands away, "you need to go to camp. You know that Duke will look to see if you're as dedicated as everyone else. What is wrong with you?"

Nathan stood, dejected, how could she be so blind? He was in love with her and was in pain, she needed him. So it was with a bit of anger in his heart that he said his last comment, "you're starting to sound like Dan now."

Brooke gasped and before she even realized she was doing it she slapped Nathan as hard as she could across the face. She gasped again in surprise but then felt the pain of his implication. He had said she sounded like Dan and then she had just acted like him. And like with Dan, Nathan wouldn't retaliate, "don't ever compare me to that bastard."

"I'm sorry I said that," Nathan told her as he rubbed his cheek.

"Just go to camp, Nate," Brooke's eyes filled with tears, "don't you see that the only way we'll be okay is if you have something to hold onto?"  
Nathan looked into her eyes, they were shadowed, "what do you mean?"

"I'm damaged Nathan. The only way we will ever survive is if you have something that you love in your life to help you. I can't help you anymore Nathan, I can't be who you need anymore," she admitted.

"What the hell are you talking about woman?"

Brooke slammed her hand on the end table and winced, "I'm not the Brooke Davis you fell in love with. You'll always be enough for me but I won't ever measure up to who I used to be. I have a jagged scar on my body that is so unappealing that I can't manage to look into the mirror. I'll never be able to bear your children. I don't know if I'll ever be able to step foot on sand again."

"We can get through this together," he told her.

"Nathan, are you even listening," she screamed, "the girl in front of you isn't the girl you've loved for years. One day you'll look at me and realize that I'm not who you thought I was. I don't want you to lose everything Nathan. Go to the camp!"

Nathan watched her walk away in complete surprise. He had no idea where she had gotten the thought that she wasn't the same person. Of course she was the same person she was just healing, little by little. Didn't she realize that he wasn't going to leave, that he couldn't even if he tried?

0000

Haley walked into her parent's house and called immediately for Lucas. She knew that he had to be home because basketball camp ended at two. She had just spent an amazing day in the studio, cutting her first professional track with Southern Belle. Plus she had been asked to go over a duet with one of the company's younger artists.

"What's up baby," Lucas asked as he gently jogged down the steps.

"They want me to do a duet with another artist, they said my first track was gold," Haley replied as she threw her arms around his neck. If it hadn't of been for Lucas she would have never accepted the offer to create an album.

"Who's the other artist," Luke asked.

"Who cares," she replied with a grin.

He shrugged and smirked as he gently kissed her lips. They were still pleasantly in the newly wed state. Also known as, lots of sex, lots of food and lots more sex. Lucas was a satisfied man. Haley sighed in his arms and wriggled against him. Something about making music made her hot!

"It's the middle of the day," Luke muttered and ripped open her buttoned blouse apart to reveal the black bra Brooke had given her at her bridal shower.

"That's never stopped us before," Haley replied as she helped him remove his shirt.

Lucas tilted his head in agreement before attacking her mouth once more. He had to admit, his wife tasted fantastic. He grabbed her ass and lifted her so her legs were wrapped around his hips as he pushed her against the wall. With one hand, he unzipped himself and pulled the small scrap of underwear covering her to the side, thanking God for creating short skirts, and then without any preliminaries he thrust within her. Then he was thanking God again but for a completely different reason.

0000

Deb gently cleared away the last of the dishes from the dinner rush. It was good to do manual work for a change, to actually get up and just work. She had never thought she would be at a desk job, in fact she had dreamed of being an architect but she'd gotten pregnant with Nathan so young.

"What are you thinking about Deb," Karen asked as she counted the money in the drawer.

"I was just thinking about what to do with myself," she replied.

Karen stopped and looked up at her friend, "what do you mean?"

"Well Nathan will be going off to college soon, and now that the divorce has finally gone through I'm alone. I got pregnant so young, you know, I just wonder what I'm supposed to do. Nathan's whole education will probably be done through basketball scholarships so I don't really need to stay on at the organization."

"You know what," Karen smirked and pulled out a huge rolled paper, "I've been doing a lot of that thinking lately too."

"Really," Deb sat on one of the stools and watched as Karen unraveled what looked like the plans for a club.

"I've been thinking, there should be a place where kids can go to hang out. I've never been a fan of the house parties our kids frequent. Of course most of the nights would be for those over twenty-one because that would appeal to the college kids at the local university but then once every two weeks or something we could have teen night."

Deb looked over the plans in awe, "did you draw these yourself?"

"I know, they're really brass but I figure with a little help from a one time architectural major I could pull it off. Once the plans are finished I would just need to find a financial backer," Karen sounded more and more excited as the minutes ticked by.

"No need to look," Deb said after a moment and then extended her hand, "partner?"

Karen's mouth opened, "no, I didn't say that so you'd-"

"Karen," Deb smiled, "it's a good plan, one I would be willing to invest in."

Karen looked at her friend's hand and investigated her instincts. They were screaming at her to accept so she gently squeezed Deb's hand, "thank you…partner."


	44. The Earthquake That Woke The Dead

Two months later Brooke was coming out of the shower when she realized that she had forgotten her bathrobe

What do you do when you find yourself alone? That was Peyton's question. Jake wouldn't speak to her, which she had been expecting. She realized that she was being some kind of massive bitch. But it didn't detract from the fact that seeing Jenny reminded her of Nikki.

She spent a lot of time with Haley and Lucas, when they weren't going at like rabbits in heat. Seriously the two of them would be going through withdrawls during the school year when they couldn't do it anytime they pleased. Haley was working hard at Karen's and preparing for all the songs she would put on her album. Peyton spent a lot of time at the studio with her, changing around beats and producing. Southern Belle had actually offered her an internship for the summer after hearing how she'd helped Haley.

Technically things were going well but she missed Jake. She missed their easy loving, his ability to read her when she didn't even understand herself. She didn't pretend to think that there could be someone else for her. Jake had just the right amount of patience and tender loving that she needed.

So what was she supposed to do now? Just move on? She didn't know how.

0000

Brooke felt her face contort into a smile and felt the lie in her blood. Nathan was so worried about her but he didn't realize that she would never get better. He assumed that when the incision site was just one thin scar that she'd be well, but her injury had done more then taking her ability to reproduce, it had taken her femininity, her ability to relate herself to the female population. Without that she didn't know how to be a cheer captain, or the most popular girl or Brooke Davis.

"Stop," he whispered the word to her.

She blinked up at him. She had been lying on the bed they had shared for weeks. The bed where Nathan had held her the first few weeks when all she could do at night was think and mourn. The bed where Nathan had been turning from her to hide his erection. The bed where she was beginning the drastic disintegration of her relationship. For them, their love had begun in superficial places, one of which was the bedroom. Sure, they had more now but without her ability to be intimate with him it was all crumbling. She wanted him to be happy, she really did, she just didn't think she was up to the task of making him happy anymore.

"Stop," he took a seat on the bed, "whatever you're thinking about that's making you feel inadequate, just stop. I love you Brooke. I don't know how else to say it so you'll get it!"

"I know you do," and she really did know.

"I want to be with you," he cupped her face and kissed her. She felt the hot sweep of his tongue on hers and her body's instant awareness. She wanted him. She wanted to be herself. She wanted him to rip off her clothes and take her angrily. She wanted his anger to match hers, then maybe it would burn up her resentment and leave her fresh.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him to her ready to let him take the pain away for one God given moment. But as his fingers began to part her sleep shirt she tensed, afraid that her body would be too graphic for him to handle. Her hands stilled on his and pulled back enough to meet their foreheads, "you're beautiful Brooke. No scar will change what you look like in my heart."

"Beautiful," she questioned.

He chuckled tensely, "I don't see your looks in my heart baby. I see _you_. It's not just beautiful, it's blinding. It's the most gorgeous thing in the universe."

She stifled her small cry, wanting to believe him so fiercely that she ached with it, "can you just hold me?"

Nathan smiled, all he had wanted was her to need him as much as he needed her, and wrapped his arms around her. She held him in return. She didn't cry, she just melted into him so that they were one person. One single soul inhabiting the bodies of two flawed beings.

0000

Haley stood in appalled silence. She was trying to convince herself that she wasn't standing in front of Chris Keller. She had told her friends only the bare essentials of what had transpired between her and Chris. She'd told them that he had yelled at her but she hadn't told them that she had recorded a duet with him and had shared one moment of realization with him.

"Don't look so surprised Hales, you all ready knew we worked well together. The label recognized it too," he walked past her to the other seat in the sound proof room.

Haley turned, suddenly everything was too restrictive. She had recorded two songs and was very proud of them. She did know that any duet she did with Chris would sell but she didn't want to work with him.

"Haley," he called her name and waited until she turned to look at him, "let's go. Studio time costs money rich girl."

"Look Chris, I'm not interested in working with you again," she stated plainly.

He looked her over, assessing her with his arrogant gaze, "yes you are. You wanna know why? Because you're a musician. Your soul is that of a musician, you want to work with me again because we make beautiful music together."

"Everything okay in there," a producer asked.

Haley looked at the window, saw Peyton standing watching the exchange. She didn't want anyone to know. She didn't want to think about it could mean with her relationship, her marriage, with Lucas. In fact, she concluded with a stubborn tilt of her chin, it would mean nothing to her. She would appreciate his artistic abilities and walk away, back home where her husband was waiting for her with open arms.

From the back Peyton watched Haley and knew that whoever this musician really was, he was only going to add to the drama in their group. As if they had anymore room for it!

0000

Jake and Haley had been grocery shopping together the next day, a new ritual that made Haley smile. Jenny was at home with Jake's mother being doted upon and Jake got an hour to shop and breathe. Haley just liked the idea of shopping for her family's dinner.

"How is she," Jake wondered, obviously trying to be nonchalant.

Haley shrugged, "which one? Brooke is…empty. I know that sounds strange but she's seems so hollow. Peyton, well she's Peyton. She's trying to work through it. Painting, sketching, producing, alphabetizing her records. She knows she screwed up but she can't see past her resentment for Nikki."

"Jenny's a part of my life now and she always will be. She's not mine but she's certainly not Nikki's. Nikki's influence will never be on her. It's hard for me to think my Peyton could persecute a little girl for her mother's actions."

"Maybe the correlation is too much, did you ever think of that," Haley asked. When Jake just looked at her she continued, "Peyton's mom was a good mother but she died. Jenny's mother died. If Peyton was with you eventually you would want her to acknowledge Jenny as her own. If she did that then she'd be in her mother's place. You know she doesn't believe in happy, long lives. She knows tragedy and being too happy just means it hurts worse in the end."

Jake pulled two boxes of hamburger helper into the cart, "I love her Hales."

"And she loves you but she is deathly afraid of loving Jenny too," Haley gathered a few cans of soup and put them in the cart.

Before Jake could reply his cell phone buzzed. He glanced at the caller ID, "it's Nate."

"What's he want," Haley asked as Jake put the phone to his ear.

"Hey, Nate…what!...just hold on, Haley and I are on the way…yeah, we'll get Lucas on the way…yeah, and Peyton."

Haley felt her hand beginning to tremble as Jake snapped his phone shut, "it's Brooke isn't it."

Jake scowled, "her parents are back."

0000

Jake's pulled his truck into Deb's driveway and successfully parked behind a silver Lexus. He wasted no time getting out. Lucas pulled up onto the yard. He and Peyton got out and joined him and Haley at the door.

They heard the argument before they let themselves in. Brooke was curled up on the couch, she looked like she was in shock, her designs thrown everywhere. Nathan was standing in front of her looking every inch the protective wolf and yelling violently at Brooke's mother. Brooke's father was scowling down at Brooke and then looking back to Nathan.

"What's going on," Jake asked.

Nathan glanced over and visibly relaxed, "they're trying to take her off somewhere like they even care. She doesn't need to be whisked around the God damned country and world, she needs to rest and work through her depression."

"If she is depressed it's because of you," Lydia exclaimed.

"What," Nathan's flexed his fists, trying to calm himself.

"Nate," Brooke finally seemed to register the situation, she slipped her hand into his.

He turned, giving her all of his attention, "it'll be okay baby."

"Okay," Luke moved forward. Nathan had given him his chance. He would hopefully end this before Brooke's father and Nathan ended up in a fist fight.

Peyton slipped past Jake and carefully bent in front of Brooke. She rubbed her cheek, "hey, Davis, you gotta snap out of this. We need you right now."

Brooke nodded but tears slipped out of her eyes and Jake almost groaned. Brooke's father stepped forward as if to go to Brooke but Nathan snapped around. He blocked him, "you've done enough damage without adding to it."

"We've done damage? It was you," Lydia stuck her well manicured finger into his chest, "you were supposed to protect her. Where the hell were you when she needed you? We haven't damaged her, you have. You couldn't be more to blame if you had pushed her yourself!"  
There was complete silence. Nathan's eyes betrayed his rage, his anger and resentment, and his acceptance of her belief. He should have been there. He should have protected her better. She was his and he had failed her.

"What's going on," Deb asked from the doorway.

At the same moment Brooke rose and her hand covered her mother's fingers, "don't touch him."


	45. Barely Holding On

Two months later Brooke was coming out of the shower when she realized that she had forgotten her bathrobe

Lydia Davis looked down at the hand wrapped around her finger in complete surprise. No one moved. Deb was still in the doorway, Peyton was standing in front of Jake, Haley was beside Brooke's father and Lucas was right next to Nathan and Lydia. Brooke had grabbed her mother's finger from Nathan's other side.

"Brooke-" Lydia began, but Brooke cut her off with one loud expletive.

"No, mother! Don't touch him," her words were said with conviction.

Finally there was movement, Deb walked forward, "would somebody please tell what is going on in my house?"

"Your son has been verbally attacking my wife since we arrived to pick up our daughter," Brooke's father spoke with sarcasm.

"Not true, I've verbally attack you too today," Nathan spat out.

Deb knew her son well, knew his snapping point, "let's move this to the kitchen shall we?"

"We'll wait in here," Jake told Deb letting her know that he would be around if she needed someone to break up a fight.

"Good idea! Lucas why don't you come with us," Deb offered.

"Who is he," Lydia huffed when Brooke finally released her finger.

Deb grinned cheerfully, "my ex-husband's first son," and preceded them into the kitchen.

0000

"Quite honestly I don't understand why I have to explain our intentions. Brooklyn is our daughter," Lydia sniffed indignantly.

Lucas looked her over. She was pretty, it was obvious that in her day she was a force to be reckoned with. Brooke's height, petite, long dark brown hair but she had piercing green eyes. Eyes that were surrounded by flawless skin, plastic skin.

"Well between Nathan and I we've been consulting regularly with a therapist and helping Brooke to deal with her depression. I think you'll find that the therapist would agree that she shouldn't be moved about," Deb told them. She could make a career out of talking in polite society. She'd led that life for her entire life.

"Depression that wouldn't even exist if it weren't for-" Lydia's statement was cut off by Brooke slamming her hands on the kitchen table.

Lucas' eyebrows rose in surprise, identical to his little brother's at that moment. Brooke's nose flared, "watch it!"

"Mind your manners, young lady," Bill reminded his daughter sternly.

Brooke's eyes stayed glued to her mother, "if you say a negative word about Nathan I swear to you that you will find the day that you regret it."

"What have you done to our daughter," Lydia asked Deb at length.

"I believe that should be a question you can answer. You should have been here," Deb told her calmly.

"It was our misinterpretation that Brooklyn was mature enough to-" once again Lydia's sentence was ended.

"The first time you left on an extended trip she was twelve. You forgot to hire the nanny. Thankfully Brooke walked directly to my house. She stayed with us for three weeks, and you never once called," Deb reminded her just as calmly as before.

Bill's eye widened slightly, the only indication that he had heard Deb speak, "we want to take her to Italy with us for the rest of the month and then help her get settled with us in New York. We'll be based there for the next several months."

"I'm not going to Italy or to New York," Brooke told him. In all of her years she had never disobeyed a direct order from her father. Even though she had long ago accepted his lack of interest she had still wanted to please him.

"Brooklyn-"

Bill cut Lydia off this time, "you will do as I say young lady. Perhaps Deb is right, we gave you far too much freedom. You need to be with us again."

Nathan was getting ready to attack, Lucas watched as he rolled his shoulders. He calmly placed his hands on Nathan's shoulders.

Brooke's eyes filled with tears but they didn't fall. She looked into her father's brown eyes, "where were you?"

Bill's mouth opened in surprise. It took him a moment to recover, "what do you want?"

"I want to know," she rose, her hands flat on the table, "where you were. I was in surgery, I was in the hospital. I was in critical care, Daddy. They thought I was going to die!"  
"We couldn't leave Peru until-"

Brooke cut off her mother's excuse with one swift slash of her hand in the air. Cutting the air with force before banging her fist on the table and lifting her shirt to underneath her breasts. Lucas gasped at the jagged scar and then again when she shifted her sweats down to the top of her panties to reveal the horizontal line on her lower pelvis. The scar was red and her skin was still puckered around it, trying desperately to seal her up.

Nathan rose, now afraid of what she was doing. She hadn't shown this much emotion since the last time she had really cried in the hospital. He was afraid this was the last straw that would break her fragile back.

"Where the hell were you," she screamed, this time her tears fell in torrents down her face, "when I was ripped in half?"

"Brooklyn," Bill's eyes held such discourse and disgust that he turned away.

"When I was bleeding to death, when I was barely breathing, when I twelve, when I was thirteen? Where the fuck were you when I won my choreography award or when I learned to drive? Where were you when I was alive," she finally asked. She dropped her shirt.

"Brooke," Deb's voice sounded behind her suddenly.

She turned immediately and was engulfed in Deb's soft arms. Deb rocked her gently and murmured sweet words, "it'll be okay, my girl. One day it will be okay, my sweet, sweet, little girl."

Lydia stared at her daughter, being rocked in another woman's arms as her heart broke and beneath the years of booze and prescription drugs her heart, dusty and unused, began to throb.

"Brooke," Brooke finally turned to look at her father. He continued, "we never meant…"  
"I'm barely holding on Daddy-," she stopped abruptly and then corrected herself, "Bill."

The air in the room shifted immediately. Bill rose up, "you will not call me by my first name."

Brooke pulled away from Deb and moved forward. She hugged her mother's still form in the kitchen chair and then wrapped her arms around her father's waist. When he returned the hug Brooke's voice was strong yet quiet, "I never want to see you again."

He gently pushed her back so he could look at her face, "what?"

She took a step back from him, "I never want to see either of you again. You can cut me off. You can yell and rage. I'll apply for emancipation if necessary, and get it. But you didn't care about me before I doubt you will now. I can't let you two be my excuse anymore."

Brooke walked away toward the door leading to the living room. Lydia squeaking sound stopped her, "Brooklyn!"

"Never again," Brooke replied, never turning back to them, but they had heard her.

0000

Jake, Peyton and Haley watched Brooke walk calmly past them without acknowledging them, and out the front door. They all stared at one another as the voices from the kitchen began up again.

Peyton looked at Haley, "you go, you're the calm one."

After Haley had shut the front door behind her Peyton was alone with Jake. The entire conversation from the kitchen had been heard loud and clear from their position on the long couch. All of their hearts had broken a little when Brooke told her parents good bye.

"How's it going," Jake wondered his eyes focused on a vase behind the television.

"You know," she shrugged and glanced at him from the periphery.

Jake glanced at her, "what are you doing for the last day of the month?"

"I think I'm going to hang with Hales and Brooke," Peyton replied.

There was a tense silence as Nathan's grunt of anger was heard but there was no sound of breaking furniture so they dismissed it. Finally Jake turned to look at her. She looked thinner then he liked and she didn't look like she'd been sleeping. There had been many times when he had caught Peyton awake at five in the morning because her insomnia plagued her some nights.

"You look tired," he mentioned.

She snorted, "thanks."

"I didn't say you looked bad," he replied, "you're always beautiful but you look tired."

"Jake," she whispered his name.

"We can't keep pretending that we don't share the same abnormally close group of friends," he told her.

"I don't know how to just be your friend," she admitted at length.

Jake sat back on the couch, "me either."

"Can we try," she whispered after a few tense moments.

He took her hand and squeezed it as the Davises slammed through the kitchen door and toward the front. He nodded, "yeah, we can try."

0000

Haley had followed Brooke toward her car and had gently pried the keys from her cold fingers, "where ever you want to go, I'll drive."

Without another word Brooke got into the passenger side, Haley into the driver side and they drove. Haley drove around the country side, past Macgregor's Pond and into the thick forest, avoiding the local traffic as well as the highway.

"I've been bad," Brooke whispered, "Nathan needs me back."

"How have you been bad," Haley whispered back.

"Nathan needs me, Peyton needs me, Jake and now Jenny need me. You guys need me, I know that. I had the dream and everything was all wrong when I wasn't there," Brooke muttered.

"What dream," Haley asked, confused.

Brooke turned to her, "when I was unconscious I had a dream about you guys. I was dead and everything fell apart. I let myself fall into self-pity. I've always known that I had a group of family who needed me as much as I needed each of them. I'm sorry Haley."

Haley abruptly stopped on the side of the road and pulled Brooke into her arms, "don't you ever apologize for healing the only way you could."

"I have to make things right," Brooke determined.

"What you need to do," Haley began to drive again, "is take things slow. You need to really accept this or you'll destroy yourself."

Brooke nodded, Haley was right. She had to take care of herself and Nathan before she could expect to move on, to help the rest of their group.


	46. Author's Note V

Hey everyone

Hey everyone! I just thought I'd write to relay some facts. I'm having a technical glitch that is causing every chapter to have the same line from another one of my fics. So ignore the first line of the next few chapters and the last two. Sorry for any confusion! Also, I'm back! I'm hoping to take this fic even further. Stay tuned and if you get a chance please review with any requests, thoughts, or critiques.

-Liz


	47. The Plot Thickens

Nathan felt the familiar dip in his bed as Brooke crawled in behind him. The room was dark but he could tell, somehow, that she was better. Seeing her parents, letting them go had been what she needed to start fresh. It would be a long time before she was back to good but for now she was beginning to heal the festering wound that had cut her heart in half.

He turned and circled her in his arms, "did you drop Haley off?"

"No, I let her take my car. I was too tired to drive," she replied into his neck.

The familiar feeling of her warm breath in his neck made him feel like crying. Her mother's words had pierced his conscience. He was supposed to protect her and he had failed.

"You didn't let me down. You had no control over that situation. Don't even begin to think that you did," she whispered passionately.

He wondered how it was that she was so apt at reading his thoughts. His arms tightened around her, "I should have started toward you the moment that I noticed that the bars were missing."

"Wait," she sat up, staring at him through the darkness, "the bars were missing? Why would the bars at the end of the pier be missing? That's a complete safety hazard."

Nathan shrugged and sat up with her, "I didn't notice until I had Jake on the sand."

"That doesn't make sense, the county could easily be sued for that," Brooke continued.

"Why are we worrying about that? You need your rest," he reminded her.

Brooke laid back down but her eyes remained open even after she heard the repetitive sound of Nathan's deep breaths. Something else had been going on that day.

0000

Lucas held Haley in his arms as they laid in bed. She hadn't spoken since she had gotten home. He figured that she needed time to deal with the whole emotional day. Honestly he didn't care. There was just one thing on the planet that made him happy, truly happy, and that was his gorgeous wife. He thought to himself that he was very lucky.

"Anything bothering you," Luke finally asked.

"You mean besides the Davis family reunion?"

"Yeah, you seem distracted and agitated. How's the project with the other artist going," Luke asked.

Haley shifted until she was out of Lucas' arms, "fine."

"Hey, where are you going," he pulled her back and began to rub her back.

"Look, Luke," Haley sat up and stared at her husband through the darkness of their bedroom, "I'm just stressed. School will be starting up soon and I still have to finish this album before and Peyton and Jake are still on bad terms. Since Brooke has been sick I feel like I've had to take over her mother hen job and I never realized it would be this exhausting."

"You don't have to be a mother hen. I love all of them but they're all adults, they'll figure things out," Luke replied.

"That's just it, Luke, we're not adults. Theoretically we are because we're married, and Jake is because he has a kid but really we're all just sixteen!"

Lucas laughed at her, "I think we're all old souls. Consider our life experiences."

Haley sighed and laid back down, back into Luke's arms, "I just feel like everything is piling up."

"Actually," he rubbed slow circles on her arm, "things are getting better. Things really couldn't get worse for this group."

0000

"Haley, what is going on," Peyton's voice in the sound proof room was just making Haley more agitated. Chris had been pushing her to play harder all morning and what was worse was that Haley deserved it. She wasn't doing her best and she knew it.

"Nothing, Peyt, I'm just having an off day," Haley replied.

"Our little wife isn't feeling the decline after the honeymoon is she," Chris was looking at Peyton but questioning Haley.

"Chris," Peyton felt a tension headache beginning.

Haley glared at Chris, "will you get off my back all ready?"  
"Not until you play this song like it deserves to be played," he replied instantly.

"What do you want from me? We've done this song fifteen million times!"

Chris put his hands on Haley's shoulders and held firm, "sing this song like it's the last song you'll ever sing. Sing it like it's the last message you'll ever get to send to the person you love the most in your life. Sing it like it deserves to be sung."

Haley's eyes widened and she heard Peyton's gasp of surprise. In his eyes she saw the understanding. Something only two true artists could share. He understood her passion, fed off of it, and it made her sick to realize she did the same for him.

"Are you ready," Peyton asked quietly.

Haley nodded and the next recording was gold from beginning to end.

0000

Jake woke up knowing that he was lucky Jenny had slept so late. It was eight in the morning but for him, that was a good night. He also woke to the sensation of a warm body beside him. He smiled as he took in Brooke Davis' sleeping form. When had she arrived?

"Davis," he gently shook her.

"Hey," she turned and laid her head on his chest, "I came over for the six o'clock feeding you're always yapping about but found everyone asleep."

"So you decided to join," he asked with a chuckle.

She shrugged and finally opened her eyes, "I like to join the pack."

"No you don't," he disagreed, "you like to lead the pack."

"When's Jenny getting up, I want her to meet her Auntie Brooke."

Jake held her tighter, so thankful that he had her in his life, "probably in a few minutes."

As if on cue Jenny's sleepy cry was pronounced over the baby monitor located on Jake's night stand. Brooke sat up and ran ahead of him to the nursery. Jake grinned as he followed and peaked in right as Brooke adjusted Jenny in her arms, looking down adoringly.

"Hello, beautiful girl," Brooke told the infant.

Jenny's blue eyes focused on Brooke and she cooed. Jake smiled, "she probably needs a change."

"Nope, she's dry as a bone and quite a morning person," Brooke scrunched her nose and grinned.

Jake watched as Brooke interacted with Jenny as she fed her and burped her and felt his chest tighten. He and Jenny were so lucky to have Brooke Davis but he couldn't help but wish that they had Peyton as well. They had agreed to try friendship, the foundation of their relationship, but Jake had the sneaking suspicion that being friends would never be enough for the two of them. And nothing but absolute acceptance of Jenny would ever do for Jake.

"She'll figure it out," Brooke was still grinning into Jenny's face, "give her time."

Jake shook his head and took a bite of his cereal, "what really brings you here, Davis? Not that Jenny and I don't appreciate the company."

Brooke looked at Jake and took a breath, "Nathan mentioned that the two of you noticed that the top boards on the pier were missing."  
Jake thought back to one of the worst days of his life and tried to remember the details. He had been so furious with Nikki for ruining Haley and Luke's day but he had been even more upset when Nikki had taunted Brooke. It was true that Brooke had become a better person than she had been but everyone still knew that lurking below the surface was the Davis temper that was infamous. Jake had known that as soon as Nikki had mentioned Nathan, compounded to the fact that Nikki was trying to screw with the people Brooke considered family, that Brooke was going to blow and it wouldn't be pretty.

"Honestly, Davis, I don't remember. I can only remember-" he cut himself off as the creepy feeling of chills spread over his body.

Brooke smiled at him, "it's okay, Jake. I'm here, I'm alive and I'm going to be okay."

Jake smiled back at her and nodded slowly, "yes you are because you have Jenny and I to help you."

Brooke placed her hand in his and squeezed it, a sweet smile on her face.

0000

Nathan took a deep breath and looked at the text message he had just received. It was from Brooke telling him to have fun and that she loved him. He smiled, in the time that was passing Brooke was working harder with her therapist to overcome her feelings of sadness and depression. As usual, she was taking her life into her own hands to shape it into what she wanted it to be. He could only do the same. Now that she was back on her feet, going out more often, and hanging out with a different member of their group at any moment, he had to get his life back too.

He got out of his car and stared at the sign for basketball camp, he could do this. When he got to the gym everyone stopped and stared. Luke grinned and ran to him, "hey, little brother, I was wondering when you were going to show."

"Why is everyone staring at me," Nathan whispered.

Whitey was the first, his palms slamming together, it was a way of showing Nathan that he had persevered when most wouldn't have. The rest of the groups followed suit until everyone had gotten close enough to inquire after Brooke and asked after his own welfare. Luke kept his hand on Nathan's shoulder to support him.

"All right, back to work," Whitey told them after a few minutes, "you good to go, N. Scott?"

"Yeah, coach, I'm back," Nathan stripped off his shirt and ran toward half court.


	48. To Be Or Not To Be

School was a week away and with it came the Haley's favorite week, tax free week on all school supplies. It was a tradition for the whole group to get together for a serious day of shopping even though Jake and Nathan usually ducked out halfway through to play basketball. This year they had a new member, an old member, a baby member and a pair of broken up members.

"School supplies," Haley sang to herself and did a little jig.

Brooke stopped in the middle of the mall and stared at Haley, "there is absolutely no need for you to dance because you're buying some pens and paper. Jeez, Haley you get worse and worse every year!"

"Don't be angry because I'm a happy beginning of school student," Haley danced into Luke's arms.

Brooke rolled her eyes playfully at Peyton, "this is her crack!"  
Peyton's eyes were firmly on Jake's behind and she nodded in response. Jake was her crack.

Ahead of them Nathan and Luke were arguing tensely about which up and coming drafts picks would receive the MVP award in their division. Jake shook his head as he pushed the carriage holding Jenny forward. He could feel Peyton's eyes on him and wanted to turn around to kiss her senseless but had too much self control. He had to let her come to him, he couldn't push her into this, no matter how much he wanted to.

As the group approached Staples Haley's excitement grew to palpable levels. As she was about to jet forward and immerse herself in the fresh smell of college ruled paper she ran directly into Chris Keller.

"Haley James," he grinned down at her as he took her shoulders and righted her.

Her eyes widened in complete shock, "what are you doing here?"

He held up his notebook, "have to write out future hits somewhere."

"Hello Chris," Peyton said in a dry tone, "this is the other artist Haley is recording her duets with."

He winked in Peyton's direction, "Sawyer, my other favorite blond."

"Hey," Luke put his hand forward, "I'm Luke, Haley's husband. This is my little brother Nathan, our good friend Jake and his daughter Jenny and-"

Chris' eyes had gone from vaguely confused and amused to instant recognition as he made eye contact with Brooke. Together with Luke he said her name, "Brooke."

"You know each other," Jake whispered to Brooke.

Brooke nodded before stepping forward and giving Chris a long hug, "how ya been?"

"Brooke," Nathan called her, his hand out, trying to pull her back to the safety of his body.

"Shit, Davis, it's been a long time," he told her.

"Since when is your last name Keller,": Brooke asked as she pulled back.

"You know him," Haley's whole body stiffened.

"You could say that," Brooke looked into her friend's eyes and Haley knew instantly that she knew about the kiss.

"I gotta go," Chris told Brooke more than anyone else, he seemed suddenly sheepish as if all of his confidence had left him.

"He looked interesting," Luke told Haley as he tossed an arm around her and led her inside.

Nathan tucked Brooke into his side, suddenly uneasy, "do you have to introduce me as your _little_ brother?"  
Jake and Peyton shared a grin over the bickering and for a moment things were almost the way they used to be.

000

Haley was relieved when Brooke opened the door to Nathan's house. As usual Brooke had anticipated her arrival and was prepared. The living room table had a pint of ice cream, two spoons and comfy pillows laid out.

"Where's Nathan," Haley wondered.

Brooke grinned, "Nate decided that since we only have one more week before school starts that it is one hundred percent necessary to catch up on everything we missed this summer. Thus he is out planning a huge surprise that I'm sure will end with me rewarding him with a phenomenal blow job."

Haley tried to smile but the consequences of her long ago actions were weighing her down. She tucked her legs beneath her on the couch and pulled her hair into a bun before taking a spoonful of the ice cream, "you know?"

Brooke sighed, "about the time that you and Nathan had your little bout of lovin-"

"I wish you would not call it that," Haley groaned. The very act that had divided them for so long was something Brooke constantly made a joke of now.

"Sorry," but it was half hearted and ended with a chuckle.

"Continue!"

"About the time of the incident do you remember how I was spending all sorts of time in Greenville with my Aunt Liz?"

"Yeah, she died a month or two before of cancer," Haley relayed what she could remember.

"Right," Brooke knocked lightly on the wooden table, a small tribute to the dead, "well while I was there my parents had me staying with a woman who had been in my mother's old sorority. Her name was Margie Adams."

"So," Haley didn't see any connection.

"Her current husband had one child from a previous marriage, Christopher Keller Adams. We spent some time together he told me about a girl he thought understood him but could never be with him. He said they made beautiful music together."

"Oh," she sensed more to the story and Brooke didn't disappoint.

"The tricky part is this, guess what Margie's last name from her first marriage was. Smith."

"Okay," it took Haley to figure it out. Her face dropped and at Brooke's nod and heavy sigh she shook her head in denial, "no. Please tell me there is absolutely no way."

"Margie had partial custody of a daughter who never came to visit. A daughter she never even mentioned, except once, Nicole Smith. Nikki," Brooke concluded.

000

"Chris Keller is Jenny's uncle," Peyton repeated what Haley had just muttered. She shook her head in disbelief, she had just wanted a little DD before a long day trying to finish up the loose ends in the studio. Did their group have to have a constant supply of drama? Was it possible to just be normal for a change?

"I know," Haley sipped her cinnamon coffee, "you gonna tell Jake?"

"Why would I tell Jake," Peyton asked, startled.

"Because," Haley huffed, "he's in love with you and will soften the blow knowing that you wanted to be the one to let him know!"  
"I really don't think that's my place anymore, Hales," Peyton replied. She opened the outer door of the studio and motioned for Haley to go before her.

"Peyton," Haley laid her free hand on Peyton's arm, "you said that you and Jake were trying to be friends, if that's true then as _your_ friend I'm going to tell you something. Sometimes hearing something from somebody you entrusted everything to makes dealing with it more bearable."

"Like entrusting Luke with Chris Keller," Peyton shot back.

Haley removed her hand, "I don't know what you mean!"

"Oh, come on Haley! Do you think I'm blind? Or stupid? Every time you two open your mouths anywhere near one another pure gold streams out. That's not to mention the obvious sexual tension."

"There is absolutely no sexual tension," Haley argued.

Peyton stopped in front of the inner studio door and lowered her voice, "look, Hales, I know you're only looking out but I don't think I'm the best one to talk to Jake about this. Brooke should!"

"Peyt, do we really need to put this on Brooke directly after she's made such progress with her therapist," Haley wondered.

"Haley James Scott," Peyton growled and fairly threw open the door, "fine! I'll talk to Jake and please don't think we're going to forget about the odd sexual tension. How did Brooke know Chris anyway?"

000

Jake was making weird faces at Jenny when Peyton walked into his house via the back door which led into the kitchen. Jenny was squealing in delight and grabbing wildly for Jake's scrunched up nose. When she finally got a hold of it she chortled so loudly that Jake started to laugh along with her. Peyton realized that she desperately missed him. Sometimes she felt so lonely and she knew that if she could just let him in, let Jenny in, she could be happy again.

"Peyton," Jake caught sight of her from his peripheral vision and rose immediately. Jenny, angry that their game was ended so suddenly, screamed and rose her arms expectantly. Jake bent down and lifted her gently until she was snuggled up on him in complete adoration, Peyton felt like joining her, "what are you doing here?"

Peyton looked deep into his gorgeous brown eyes, promptly fell in love with him all over again, and opened her mouth to tell him so when she caught herself, "I…I came to talk to you. Maybe you should sit down."

"Oh, Jesus," Jake sat, "what happened? I just talked to Nate not more than two minutes ago! Is it Hales or Luke?"

"No, nothing like that," Peyton joined him at the table, after a moment she took a breath, "Brooke met Chris last year, he was the step-brother of Nikki so technically he's Jenny's uncle, which I think is weird but Brooke apparently thinks he'll make a phenomenal uncle. So that's it, here's Chris' number."

She rose but Jake looked her in the eyes, "Peyt, sit!"

Abruptly she sat back down, now avoiding his gaze, "that's all I had to say."

"Peyton, I know we've been trying to be friends," Jake began cautiously.

"And I think it's been going great," Peyton cut in.

Jake shook his head and pecked Jenny's head as she cuddled closer, ready for her nap, "yeah, but there's one big problem with this whole arrangement."

"What is it," she whispered.

"Every time I see you I get a hard-on," he told her.

They both looked down to his sweats and after a small maneuvering his statement was proved fact. Peyton rose, blushing to the roots of her hair, "I think I should go."

"I don't," Jake gently laid Jenny into her day bed and before Peyton could do more than release a small squeal, of delight or surprise, Jake was dipping her and kissing her for all he was worth.

Twenty-five minutes later Peyton laid beside Jake on his kitchen floor. They were both naked, both breathing heavy and both very satisfied. Peyton turned her head to Jake, "where is your family?"

"Away for the next two days," Jake replied, "do have the Marb?"

"No, didn't expect to do this."

Jake chuckled and stretched, "well I guess it's all right, this once. Besides basketball season is fast approaching."

"So you're going to be playing this coming season even with the baby," Peyton asked.

"Yeah, I'll work it out."

"Well," Peyton sat up, covering her exposed breasts, "this has been…well you know how it was, but I have to go."

"Do you have to," Jake sat up and asked, but as Peyton was going to respond, Jenny gave out a sleepy cry. They both looked over to the day crib and Peyton quickly rose, throwing her clothes on. Jake laughed, "what are you doing?"

"I don't want her to see me naked! I'll traumatize her!"

He really laughed then, "Peyt, she's barely a few months old, I don't think she'll remember seeing you naked tomorrow."

"I have to go anyway," she slid her feet into her Converse and was preparing to just leave but Jake rose and gently took her arm.

"Thank you, Peyton," he told her.

"For what?"

"For telling me about Chris and Nikki's mom. I'll let you know how everything goes," and then he kissed her and she felt her heart throbbing painfully as she turned to leave him, knowing this day would never be repeated again.


	49. Fatality

Peyton walked into Nathan's house and spotted Brooke on the couch taking off her running shoes. Before she could speak a word Brooke looked up and then jumped to her feet, "you and Jake did it!"

Deb was stepping into the living room when Brooke made her proclamation and just shook her head as she made a move for the door, "I just hope you used condoms."

Brooke giggled even after Deb had long left and then stopped abruptly when she took at Peyton's unamused glare, "what?"

"We had sex and it was amazing and I told him about Keller and the baby was sleeping in her day bed and we were not being quiet," Peyton told her.

"Well," Brooke motioned for her to follow and waited until she had popped a plumb green grape in her mouth before responding, "at least it was good sex. Nothing worse than spontaneous bad sex. Complete let down."

"Brooke," Peyton groaned out.

"Okay, okay, okay! Here's the deal sister, you got it bad and there is absolutely nothing I can do about that. You decided to just be his friend and then you crossed the line. You need to reestablish the line and stick to it this time."

"But-"

"No buts Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer," Brooke cut her off with a stern voice and a huge grin.

"Oh boy, what'd you do Peyt? She used your full name," Nathan had just walked through the back door and was getting ready to wrap Brooke in his arms but she turned and pushed him away.

"You're all sweaty and gross!"

He grinned and kissed her lips, "you know you like it baby. You certainly weren't complaining last night, or this morning."

"Eww, like I need to hear about your highly, unusually active love life," Peyton told them with disgust before eating one of the grapes.

Nathan laughed and made for the refrigerator, "well if inner group gossip can be believed we're not the only two getting it on. On the kitchen floor, with an infant present. Jeez, talk about birth control!"

"He told you," Peyton shouted.

He shrugged, "I said inner group gossip, the grape vine is indeed long."

"You're starting to sound just like your brother," Brooke commented.

Peyton huffed and then determined to change the subject, "so B. Davis, when are you going to show up for cheer practice?"

Brooke saw Nathan still his hand as he was reaching for his Gatorade; he was waiting to hear her answer. She coughed uncomfortably, "well, I've been meaning to sit you and Haley down to talk about this. I've decided to resign my position as the cheer captain and on the squad."

Before Peyton could react Nathan slammed the door to the refrigerator closed and turned abruptly, "Brooke."

"Don't do this Nathan, it's my decision to make," she told him immediately.

"A decision made in fear."

Brooke wouldn't meet his eyes or Peyton's, "do you realize that our cheer uniforms wouldn't cover more than half an inch of my scar? I won't put myself and my tragedies on display for the world to see."

"Oh, Brookie," Peyton squeezed her hand, sorrow in her own eyes because her best friend still suffered and probably always would.

Nathan wrapped his arms around her from behind and laid his head on her shoulder, "I'm sorry, baby."

Brooke nodded, but it still took a lot of her strength to hold back her tears.

0000

Nathan felt like a complete bastard as he showered twenty minutes later. Brooke was getting steadily better, was happier and had actually seemed okay when they'd driven past the beach the day before but she was still healing and he had to remember that. Truth be told their love life wasn't what it once was. Not that Brooke was wanting but because _she_ believed herself to be wanting. Most of the time their sexual activity revolved around oral sex, and God knew his girlfriend was fantastic at it, but sometimes he just wanted to strip her naked and take her slowly and deeply until they forgot that they were two separate beings. And that was another thing, the rare times that they actually had the real deal sex Brooke kept a tang top on that was long enough to hide her scars.

He sighed because he didn't know how he was going to convince her to stay on the cheer squad. Cheering was one of her passions, she took it seriously and was a great leader. He knew she would miss it especially if she was at every game and had to see what had once been her squad. Nathan wasn't sure how he was going to do it but he would convince his stubborn girlfriend to see reason and hopefully his surprise would go a long way to helping.

0000

Lucas watched Haley as she dressed. She looked so sexy at that moment, just in her panties and her bra, he wanted to jump her all over again. But then he would be late to practice and he had all ready ditched his morning run with Nathan.

"What are you looking at," she asked softly.

"Your gorgeous body," he replied. She smiled and it lit up her face. He propped himself up onto his elbow and caught her gaze, "do you know how sexy I find you?"

Haley shook her head, "no."

"Every time I think of your soft skin, and long, thick hair, your beautiful eyes and your voluptuous breasts it feels like my body is heavier, like gravity is pulling harder on me than anyone else."

Haley licked her lips unconsciously as she gazed at him below her thick eye lashes, "I love you Lucas, you know that, right?"

His eyes widened slightly, "yeah, I know. I love you too, all day every day."

"I just…" she sat on the bed and looked at the spot rightly below his face, "I'm not perfect, Luke. I never have been and I never will be. I've done things that are…reprehensible."

"You've had things done to you that are reprehensible," he corrected, his hand lacing with her hers.

Haley took a deep breath and prepared to tell him the whole truth, "you remember Chris Keller, the musician we met at Staples?"

Luke's eyes squinted in surprise at the subject change, "yeah?"

"He and I…well, me and him," the sharp ring of the phone startled Haley. She smiled brightly, too brightly, "the phone! I'd better get that and you'd better get up or you'll be late for practice!"

Luke watched her talk on the phone and wondered about what she'd been about to tell him but one look at the clock and he decided she was right and he had to get going.

0000

When Peyton walked into Luke and Haley's house, where the group was meeting she was saw three things right off the bat: Brooke was rubbing her nose to Jenny's and Jenny was quite delighted, Haley was biting her nails like she had a secret and Jake wasn't wearing a shirt.

"Come on Luke, how long does it take to find a tee-shirt? You live here for God's sake," Jake yelled up the stairs. He spotted Peyton and grinned, "Jenny spit up all over my shirt."

Peyton thought he was a sly dog and was about to tell him so when Haley rushed forward, gripped her wrist and pulled her directly into the downstairs bathroom.

"Okay, you wanna tell me why I was just kidnapped," Peyton asked, leaning against the sink.

Haley took a deep breath, "Chris Keller and I kissed!"

Peyton's eyes widened, "I can't say I'm surprised but I will say I thought you loved Luke. I mean you're sixteen and married!"

"We kissed before I was married," she twisted her wedding ring around on her finger, "actually before Luke and I met."

"How long have you and Brooke known Chris Keller," Peyton asked with exasperation.

"Well apparently Brooke has known him for at least two years and I met him the summer I was away from you guys. He told me off for not making a record, for not 'showing my talent to the unworthy beings floating around in a bland world full of bad emo and dull pop.'"

Peyton's eyebrow rose, "sounds like Keller. So how does any of this tie into a kiss?"

"I agreed to record one song with him, one duet. He needed an artist who could work well in the key of A and I fit the description. It was gold Peyton, remember 'When The Stars Go Blue'?"

"Tell me that wasn't you! Haley that was great," Peyton told her.

"I got a check signed away rights but he added a stipulation, if I went on tour with him with the intent of advertising our duet we would share all profits. I don't know what happened. We were doing the last overture together, sharing a mic and suddenly our lips just found each other!"

"How did it feel," Peyton wondered.

Haley shrugged, "nothing like Lucas."

"Then what's the problem," she asked, "Hales, you kissed a guy and connected with a guy before you even met your husband. No reason to feel bad about it."

"But now I work with the guy," Haley reminded her.

Peyton conceded her point, "well you could tell Lucas this whole story, but what's the point? Are you into Chris Keller?"

Haley shook her head, "absolutely not."

"Do you want to kiss Chris Keller?"

"Nope," Haley shook her head vehemently this time.

Peyton motioned for her to turn around and dropped her pants so she could pee, "then what's the problem? You go to work, you do your best, and you go home to the man you love. Sounds like a dream come true to me."

Haley nodded as she stared at the closed door. She was doing what she loved with one of the best up and comers, her husband loved her, this was a dream come true, damn it!

0000

"So, Mr. Smarty Pants Nathan Scott, where are we going," Brooke asked her boyfriend.

Nathan looked down at his girlfriend and then smiled around at his group, "the first place we're going is to Karen's house because she agreed to watch Jenny tonight."

Jake grinned, "no way! That's great!"

"I thought you'd like that," Luke smiled and then shared a grin with Nathan, "check this out, my mom has agreed to watch Jenny during basketball practice if you agree to return the hours working at the diner."

"Man," Jake slapped both of their hands and backs, "thank you guys so much!"

Peyton and Brooke shared a smile, this was just another reason why they loved the group of people they surrounded themselves with.

"Okay," Nathan pulled himself together, "let's get little Jenny dropped off and then we'll go."

As they were all exiting Brooke pinched his back, "go where?"

Nathan grinned at her as he threw his arm over her shoulder, "that's gonna be my secret for now, baby."

0000

Nathan pulled his mother's huge SUV into the makeshift parking spot in the middle of the forest. Everyone recognized the area as Thatcher Park next to one of the older ponds in Tree Hill. It was getting rather dark when Nathan smiled around the truck, "ready?"

"Sure," Luke agreed, trusting his brother completely.

"What are we doing here," Brooke asked.

"Doing what we should have been doing all summer," was Nathan's quiet reply. He didn't say it to make her feel bad because her progress had taken so long to start but to let her know that they were moving on. He squeezed her hand, "trust me."

"I trust you," she replied immediately, looking deeply into his blue gaze, "and I love you. Let's go."

The group followed Nathan, everyone walking hand in hand like a bunch of third graders because Nathan hadn't allowed them to use flash lights. Finally Nathan stopped and had everyone face the direct that the truck was in. Haley and Luke were still holding hands and Brooke was in between Jake and Peyton holding on to them. He shuffled around behind them and they could see the dim lights he had turned on.

"Okay everyone, turn around."

Everyone turned and everyone gasped. Nathan had recreated the gorgeous reception tent, albeit a smaller version, that had been at Luke and Haley's reception. The same dim candle light, a small table big enough to fit them comfortably, a small patch of grass that was short enough to accommodate dancing and a stereo.

"Oh Nathan," Haley was the first to move. She wrapped her arms around Nathan's shoulders and held tight, "thank you!"

He pecked her hair and gave her a squeeze before releasing her just before Lucas gave him his own hug, complete with a solid pound to his back.

"This is great man," Luke told him before pulling Haley to him so he could hold her tight and whisper into her ear, "this was my dream for that day."

"Oh, baby," Haley turned around, and not one for PDA, kissed him for all she was worth.

Jake and Peyton looked at one another and then thanked Nathan. They remembered what they had felt the first time they had stepped foot into that tent. So certain that their past problems were gone, so hopeful that their future would begin that moment and extend into forever. Peyton's lower lip quivered as she melted into Jake's chocolate brown eyes. He reached for her hand, "come dance with me."

"There's no music," she whispered.

Nathan was looking at his girlfriend as he took a small remote out of his pocket and pushed a button. Luke chuckled when he and Haley's wedding song began. The two couples seemed as if in a trance as they walked to the small clearing and held one another. Haley wasn't thinking about Chris Keller, Luke was only thinking of her and his undying love for her. Peyton wasn't thinking about Nikki and where Jenny fit into her life, Jake wasn't trying to figure out how he would work everything out with a baby.

"What do you think," Nathan finally asked Brooke.

Her hazel eyes welled and she pulled her arms across her chest to rub them because all of a sudden she was so very cold. It was all too much. She had been discussing ways of letting go of the numbness that had been her savior so early in her recovery with her therapist. She had been making progress but suddenly it felt as if it were slipping all too quickly.

"Baby," Nathan started forward and put his hands on her freezing upper arms, "what is it?"

Brooke looked away from him, "I lost myself, Nate. I fell off that dock and sometime before I fished out of the water I lost the Brooke Davis that I've always considered myself to be. I don't know how to be that Brooke Davis anymore. Do you understand? I feel like I'm a shabby imitation of the girl you used to love so much and it's just not fair to you."

"Brooke," he gripped her a bit tighter, although very aware of his own strength, "I am in love with you. I'm not in love with the mother hen, the ditzy goofball, or the cheerleader. I'm in love with you. You, only you. One day you'll find your way back fully, and when you do I'll be there. But until that day, I'm still here. I'm never giving up on you Davis. What did you say at the reception, 'I love thee, I love but thee; with a love that shall not die; till the sun grows cold and the stars grow old?' Davis, I don't remember a time when I didn't love you. You can't ask me not to love you, you can't tell me I don't know who you are right this moment, because I see you. I've always seen you. Be whoever you need to be, I'll still love you."

"Scott," his name was raspy on her lips as she pulled his head down and kissed him. When their mouths met it was instant heat. There was a fire between them. When they were apart, physically or mentally, the fire was merely embers but as soon as they connected again it was an inferno.

His arms locked around her waist and his hands gripped her ass tightly. Her arm was flung over his shoulder pulling her up to meet his hungry kiss and her other hand was splayed wide on his chest, feeling the way his heart raced. When they kissed, when their tongues met, there wasn't a reality, there weren't scars and sadness there was only them.

0000

That night Nathan stripped her slowly and when there was only her long tang top left and her hand fell on his to stop him from removing it he kissed her. He kissed her long and gently before looking into her eyes, "let me see you, baby."

Brooke took a step back and for a moment Nathan thought she would deny him but then, as she looked away, she pulled her tan top over her head and dropped it to the ground. The scar was smaller now, still jagged, but not as red against her pale skin. Brooke began to cry as Nathan knelt in front of her and kissed her scar from top to bottom. And when he moved on to the sensitive area between her thighs she cried harder still. And when he finally took her, slowly, gently and deeply she shouted in exaltation because for a moment she was free.


	50. I'm Sorry Could You Repeat That

**Tamarindo, do you know how you inspire me? Your awesome reviews and your constant support. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are THE BEST.**

The night before school would begin again Peyton spent her time pacing across her room, and then her living room and then her dining room before finally stopping to stare at her cell phone. Jake hadn't called her since Nathan's remake of Luke and Haley's wedding night. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and stared at the cell phone. That night had been far too special for both of them. More than it probably should have been for her, she conceded to herself.

She sat and stared some more but her mind raced back to that night.

"_Dance with me," his dark eyes had been twinkling mischievously._

"_There's no music," had that really been her voice? So husky, so needy?_

_Someone had started the stereo and Jake had led her to the dance floor. They moved as one, pelvis to pelvis, heart to heart, with her face snuggled deep in his throat. His fingers had moved up until they were under the bottom of her shirt, touching her lower back. His fleshed burned into her, seared with his brand. Distantly she heard Brooke's cry but paid no attention because she also heard Nathan's calming voice. _

"_Every time I'm with you I fall more in love with you," he admitted._

_Peyton looked into his chocolate eyes, "I love you so much."  
"Be with me, Peyt," he begged._

_She nodded and quietly led him further into the woods. He'd lifted her easily and balanced her against a tree while they made love. He had been hot inside of her, burning through all of her defense. And afterward she realized that it had never felt so good._

_Jake played with her hair and grinned ruefully, "sorry that didn't last as long as usual."_

"_Baby-cakes, we both got the grand slam so what does it matter," she kissed him because it felt right to do it._

_Finally Jake looked into her eyes, "when I'm with you I have so many hopes for the future."_

_Before she could respond she heard Haley calling her name and they dressed quickly to meet up with the group._

The phone suddenly rang and Peyton pounced on it without even checking the caller id, "hello?"

Brooke's chuckle made Peyton's heart drop and she frowned in agitation, "were you expecting your jungle love?"

"Brooke," she growled her name.

"What? You have sex every where except the bedroom, I approve!"

"What do you want B. Davis?"

Brooke took a deep breath, "I want you to go somewhere with me."

"Brooke its five o'clock and we have school in the morning."

"I know, but P. Sawyer, the thing is that I need someone to come with me and-"

Peyton cut her off because she knew instinctively that she needed to be with Brooke, whatever she was doing, "I'll be there in ten."

"Thank you!"

0000

Haley yawned hugely and smiled at her husband. Luke was reading a book with a very serious look of concentration on his face. Ever since the night Nathan had planned they had been acting like they probably would have the first three weeks after their wedding. Everything was perfect, life was perfect!

"You keep staring at me and I'll have to turn you over and ravish you," Luke told her without tearing his eyes from the book.

She grinned at him, "no way, buddy. I'm sore, I'm not sure I'll be able to walk right tomorrow."

"My incredible sexual prowess," he explained.

"Exactly," she chuckled softly.

He looked at her suddenly, concern in his eyes, "really, though, are you okay? I haven't hurt you, have I?"

"Well your pubes could use a trim because I'm getting some serious rug burn, but," she grinned, "all in all, I like it!"  
He laughed at her, "good thing you're on the pill, otherwise you'd be pregnant for sure."

Haley's world zoomed in around her and her smile died on her lips. The implications of Luke's words hit her like a ton of bricks, "Luke?"

He had turned back to his book, "what, baby-girl?"

"Did you say the pill," she questioned.

"Yeah, little pill you take every day right?"

"Luke," she groaned out his name, "are you saying you think I'm on birth control?"

He looked up, "aren't you?"

"No," she yelled.

"What do you mean," he sat up, "I watch you take the fucking pill every morning."

"That's my iron supplement, I'm anemic," she told him.

"Jesus Christ, are you saying we've been having sex for months without protection?"

Haley put a hand on her head, feeling like she was about to vomit.

"Lucas, that is exactly what I'm saying!"

0000

"Why are we here," Peyton asked as she stared at the County Records Office.

Brooke took a deep breath, "because I need answers."

"Answers to what?"

"Come on, P. Sawyer," she held out her hand and they walked into the office.

The official looking man at the counter looked very unhappy to see them. He looked them over, jumped to conclusions and began to dismiss them but Brooke wasn't having it.

"Look, Mr.," Brooke stared at his tag, "Brown, I want to see the pictures for Case number 7723-BJ. I have this letter from the Tree Hill Police Force and my ID."

Mr. Brown was surprised by her force and Peyton wanted to laugh. He had so obviously thought that they were two high school girls, easy to get rid of.

The man left the desk and moved toward the file cabinets. While they waited both of their cell phones began to vibrate. Peyton looked at hers and then looked at Brooke, "it's Hales."

Brooke frowned, "its Luke."

"Oh boy," they both said together, trouble in paradise. Before either of them could step out to take their calls Mr. Brown returned.

He smacked the file on the top of the counter, "you have ten minutes Ms. Davis."

Brooke moved down toward the end of the counter and opened the folder slowly. Peyton gasped, it was the pier, they were looking at the evidence from the investigation.

"Why are we doing this Brooke," she whispered.

"Because," Brooke pulled one photo out. It was a picture of the end of the pier, its top three boards on the railing removed, "I needed proof."

"Brooke, why would they be gone? The County could get sued millions for that," Peyton mumbled, noticing right away what was wrong with the pier railing.

"Exactly," Brooke replied.

The thought crept ugly in Peyton's mind. Those boards had to have been removed right before the accident or the county would have fixed them, it was too big of a safety hazard. If they had been removed right before, then who would have done such a thing?

"I'm going to fucking kill him," Peyton said through clenched teeth.

"One person all ready died, Peyt," Brooke told her quietly, "that's more than enough."

On the ride back home Peyton seethed, "why did you bring me with you, Brooke?"

"What do you mean," Brooke knew exactly what she was asking and Peyton knew it.

"Out of all of us, why me," there was a darkness settling inside of her.

"Because you more than the rest needed to see the evidence. I've had my suspicions for a long time but now they've been confirmed. Felix and Nikki removed those boards; they had plans to push someone, one of us. I don't know who for sure but I know that the two people guaranteed to be on that pier were me and Jake. It could have easily been Jake instead me, Peyton, and who knows how he would have fallen. He might have been the one to die."

Peyton slammed her hand on the dash board, "pull over!"

Brooke pulled over on an empty street and looked around. It was getting dark and soon they would be expected back at their homes, but Peyton needed this. So did Brooke.

"It is not fair," Peyton got out of the car and stomped around.

"Peyton," Brooke began, rising from the car.

"No, Brooke! It's not okay so don't tell me it is. That fucking bitch almost killed you. She came with the intent to hurt you and Jake. I hate her," Peyton's voice got so low that it rumbled, "I hate her with every ounce of strength in me. She ruined everything."

Peyton caught Brooke's gaze and began to cry in earnest, "you'll never have babies, B. Davis. My heart breaks when I think of everything she took from you. That will never be okay to me, never. I'll never get over that!"

"I'm going to be okay, Peyton," Brooke told her.

"She took your future and took mine right along with it. I'll never be able to be with him again Brooke. Every time I look at the girl he calls his daughter I will remember how I detest her mother."

"Peyton," Brooke walked toward her but she backed up.

Peyton threw her phone deeply into the forest, "and that stupid asshole never calls! And I hate that I wait for him to call. I hate that you won't cheer again because that bitch stole it from you! I hate that Haley spent the first hours of her marriage on the floor of a hospital crying in her wedding gown! I hate that Luke dove in after you and almost killed himself and would have left Haley alone again! I hate that Jake looks at me and I can't hold back anything! But most of all I hate Nicole Smith's existence. I hate that she was born, I hate that she lived, I hate that she could give life while taking away your ability to, and I hate that she controls me and my love for Jake even through death! I. Hate. Her!"

"Peyton," Brooke finally captured her best friend in her arms as they slumped to the middle of the street together, both of them crying. Brooke rubbed her back as she sobbed and hiccupped. As much as Brooke had needed to cut out her parents, Peyton needed this moment. She needed the release of revealing every cavern of your heart to make some space for happiness again. Finally when the tears were spent and the night was fully upon them Peyton and Brooke moved back into the car.

"P. Sawyer," Peyton looked at Brooke, she was gripping the steering wheel and looking straight ahead although the car wasn't on, "there are some days that I hate her too. I used to dream about my future with Nathan. I would fantasize about being married to him and living on our own terms. I would think about how pregnancy would feel; if I'm too petite and the baby would weigh heavily on me, or if I would be one of those women who only gains weight in their stomachs. I would imagine walking into my house and seeing Nathan holding our baby close to him and kissing his head. I would think about making love to Nathan after we had everything we ever wish for."

"I'm so sorry," Peyton hiccupped.

Brooke continued as if she hadn't spoken, "since the day I found out I couldn't have children I haven't fantasized, I haven't even dreamt about it. What I hate is that I let her take away my dreams. That day on the dock I got in her face. She said something about Nathan that irked me and I allowed my anger to control me. I hate that I didn't control myself better. I hate that I've been so afraid of feeling that I let myself go numb. Peyt, I hate that you love me so much that you're ruining your life because you can't let go of the anger. But at the same time I love you for it because if I allowed myself to feel that anger I'm afraid I would kill someone."

"What are we going to do," Peyton asked miserably.

"We're going to work hard to move on, Peyton. We are never going to mention going to that office and seeing those pictures. Here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to keep seeing my therapist and I'm going to work hard to be the Brooke Davis I used to be, to find my cheer again. I'm going to take care of me for a while and let Nathan take care of me instead of fighting him, for a change. I'm going to love him better, because God knows I am so lucky to have him."

Brooke paused and then finally looked at Peyton, "what you're going to do is take a second to realize that you're not in the wrong. It is okay to be angry with her Peyton, because she caused those you love so much harm. Then you're going to take a second to realize that she caused the one you love the most so much joy. For a reason we will never know Nikki signed Jake on as the father of Jenny. Maybe she knew he would need her, that he would love her. He's the type of father we both wished for and that's one of the reasons you love him. I'm going to say this once Peyton, and you know me, I won't throw my opinion in your face again; you are a fool if you let Jake go because he's being the man you've always loved. Jenny may be half Nikki, but she is never going to be influenced by her. Stop being so afraid of letting Jake all the way in. Stop letting your anger be your excuse. And for God's sake forgive your mother for dying so you can allow yourself to be a mother one day."

0000

"Okay," Haley looked at the three boxes of pregnancy tests on her bed. Luke, Jake and Nathan were staring at her as if they expected her to bite them. They had been the only ones to respond to the 911 she and Luke had sent out. Peyton and Brooke were both MIA and not picking up their phones.

"Where's Jenny," Haley asked.

"Sleeping on the guest room bed," Jake replied.

"Will she be okay there," Luke asked.

Jake nodded, "I put pillows around her."

"So," Nathan stood back on his heels, "are we going to do this?"

"What's the rush," Haley asked lamely.

"I want to know if I'm going be an uncle," Nathan replied. When no one laughed he coughed uncomfortably, "sorry."

Haley nodded to herself, "all right then, I'm going to go to this. Everything's fine, I'm sure everything's fine."

When she had closed the bathroom door behind her all three boys got their worried faces on. Luke paced, "shit, shit, shit! How could I have been so stupid!"

"Amen," Nathan agreed.

"Jesus, where are the girls when you need them," Jake asked at the very moment the two of them walked in. He looked up and immediately knew they'd been crying, he moved forward instantly and took them into his arms, "what happened? Jesus Christ, what the fuck happened?"

"Baby," Nathan pulled Brooke into his arms worriedly and held her tight, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing, we just had ourselves a good cry," Brooke replied and glanced at Peyton, who was still in Jake's arms.

"Over what," Jake asked.

Haley stepped out of the bathroom, "okay, three minutes!"

"Three minutes until what," Peyton asked.

"You've been crying," Haley accused them.

"I thought my make up looked better then it apparently is," Brooke told Peyton.

"I always know," Nathan told her.

"Me too," Jake, Haley and Luke added together.

"What's taking three minutes," Brooke reminded them.

There was a cry from the guest room, "is that Jenny," Peyton asked.

Jake looked at her, "that's the first time you've ever called her by her name!"

Before Peyton could reply Haley answered Brooke, "Lucas thought I was on the pill, but I'm not so theoretically I could be pregnant," and then promptly burst into tears.


	51. Author's Note VI

Hey ladies and gents! So my fic The Universe No One Understands has been nominated for Best Couple in Tree Hill for the annual One Tree Hill Awards. Go to the following link and vote for me if you think that my fic deserves it. I'm excited that something I've put so much effort into is being recognized. Thanks!

-Liz

h t t p : / / w w w . o n e t r e e h i l l a w a r d s . t h i s - p a r a d i s e . c o m /

remember not to include the spaces!


	52. The End Of The World As We Know It

Brooke woke up instinctively knowing that Nathan was not beside her. He would have all ready left for his early morning work out with Lucas and the other starters on the team. That was if Lucas was feeling up to practicing. She would understand if he wasn't, he had a right to be a little too overwhelmed with personal problems.

Well, she thought as she sat up and rubbed her eyes, one little problem; a problem that had the potential to get much bigger and last for the rest of his life. Haley was pregnant. The one thought sent a zing of pain throughout the length of her scar deep into the empty cavity where her ovary had once laid and into her womb, which would always remain empty.

"I will not lie down and die," Brooke told herself through clenched teeth. I will not let this consume me, she promised herself inside her soul where no one but she could hear.

Her phone rang, a deliciously catchy toon, that drew her attention to the caller id. Luke appeared in block letters, without hesitation she answered, "what's up Lucas?"

"I know you're upset, and I'm sorry for calling right now-"

"I'm not upset. I'm surprised," she cut him off to clarify.

She clearly heard his mumble of disbelief but he continued on before she could say anything further, "Haley and I got into a huge fight this morning and now she texts me that she set up a doctor's appointment for Saturday morning and that I need to be there too."

"Okay, so be there," Brooke replied.

"Brooke," he paused and when he spoke again his voice quivered, "I'm scared."

She nodded in understanding, she was scared too. Scared that he and Haley were jumping into the deep end and they were both just learning how to swim. She was scared that the demons she had been working so hard to destroy were going to return threefold. Oh yes, she understood his fear.

But when she replied her voice was understanding and warm, "it's okay to be scared sometimes Lucas. The trick is recognizing it before it consumes you. Now you can use it to channel your energy into being the man and husband Haley needs beside her right now. Haley will come around and apologize, give her time."

"I love you Brooke," it seemed to be all he could manage. It almost seemed like an apology.

She smiled, "and I love you too Daddy."

He groaned, "where's the sympathy?"

"You don't need it right now but I do need to hang up if Peyton and I are to dress Haley in time for school. Go practice with the guys, let all of it go for a few seconds," Brooke suggested.

After they hung up Brooke nodded to herself and as she saw herself in passing via Nathan's dresser mirror she murmured, "let it all go for a few seconds."

XOXOXOXO

On a regular first day of school Haley, Peyton and Brooke would have dressed in their best, fresh supplies ready and would be noticed by every student in the school. Confidence was a powerful thing when it was in short supply. However, this was not to be a normal or regular first day. Brooke was traumatized, Haley was pregnant and Peyton was still battling a war between her mind and her heart.

"I cannot believe that you are wearing sweats," Brooke spoke in hushed tones as they walked toward the school.

Haley rolled her eyes from beneath the huge bug sunglasses she was sporting. She didn't want the whole student body to know she'd spent the night before and this morning alternately crying and yelling at her husband.

"It's not like you Hales, you usually dress very professionally for school," Peyton pointed out.

Haley stopped and looked at them both, "I'm not in a good mood. Everything is bad right now. Leave it alone."

Peyton and Brooke shared a look before Brooke finally nodded, a consent to something. Peyton smiled tensely, "look, until you and Lucas decide what you want to do then we understand that things will be tense but Haley we will not let you make this an excuse to fall into the pit of despair that Brooke is still trying to climb out of. Shit does suck but you have a family that loves you."

"Neither of you understand," Haley felt tears coming to her eyes and was horrified.

Brooke winced and Peyton sucked her teeth before replying, "from where I stand you have the two things Brooke and I want but don't have: the man you love and a baby."

The magnitude of those words rocked them all because no matter how unlucky the time Haley was still blessed. It wasn't meant to be a statement of jealousy or envy, merely one of observation.

"I'm sorry," Haley finally told them, meaning it, "I'm just so sorry."

They knew she meant she was sorry she had been so careless and they knew that she meant she was sorry for causing any pain with misguided words.

"We are too," Brooke admitted. She went in between them and hooked her arms through theirs, "but we have a first day of school to get through right now."

XOXOXOXO

Lucas stood in front of his locker, his body unwilling to cooperate and get dressed before classes began so that he could meet up with the girls. Seeing Haley again this morning was sure to be another fight waiting to happen and he just wasn't interested in arguing with her. Not when she yelled with a look of pure terror in her eyes. Not when she choked on those yells and cried.

"You'll get through it," Nathan's voice was strong, certain.

Luke turned toward his brother, "I'm sixteen and my wife is pregnant."

"And you'll get through it," Jake repeated, "trust me, having a baby is hard, harder than you can imagine, but it's doable. You can make it work."

"It's crazy that two out of the three of us are fathers," Luke murmured, his surprise from last night hadn't even begun to wear off.

"Luke," Jake's voice was censuring.

For a moment Luke felt like a full fledged idiot. But then, rather perversely, he thought that it must be a load off not to have to worry about birth control or prenatal vitamins. Then a picture of Brooke on the day she had stood in Nathan's kitchen crying crept into his mind and put him in check.

"I'm sorry for that Nate, it was uncalled for," he admitted.

"Yeah it was, but I understand. When something out of your control happens sometimes it's just easier to lash out."

Luke sat on bench and stared up at his brother and one of his best friends, "I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can be a father. And my mother is going to kill me. Probably with her bare hands!"

"No doubt," Jake agreed with a ready grin. Luke looked at him and saw the tired lines on his face, proof of early morning feedings and ear infections.

His head felt so heavy and his heart was thumping wildly. Everything was just wrong, "shit how could I have been such a fucking idiot? What's wrong with me? Jesus, I can't do this. She has to understand, I just can't…I can't."

"Whoa," Nathan sat down too, "before you go making any final decisions don't you think you should go with her to the doctor and talk options?"

"There is only one option, Nathan. We both have plans and dreams that just don't include a baby right now."

"My plans hadn't included a baby but Luke something changes in you man. The first second you see your kid you change. Everything just changes," it was the only way Jake could explain it.

Lucas looked at him, fear poring out of his face, "what if I don't want change?"

"What if Haley does," Nathan wondered.

"Then we have a problem," Lucas finally answered.

XOXOXOXO

Brooke smiled as Nathan approached her, "hey Nate."

Nathan smiled down at her and nodded, "sorry we got held up, Luke had a minor meltdown in the locker room."

"This is big stuff," she told him. Her head was swimming with all sorts of unpleasant things she didn't want to think about. The first being that in less than a minute she and Nathan would walk down the main hallway of Tree Hill High and everyone would stop and stare. Everyone would know her tragedy, everyone would be waiting to see the gaping hole in the armor of Brooke Davis.

Nathan's lips caressed her own suddenly and brought her morbid thoughts to a stand still. When he finally released her lips he kissed her forehead, "stop thinking, baby, and just live."

She nodded and he led her into the building. Everyone in the hallway hushed as they walked through. Brooke held her breath. Look stunning, look untouchable, you're Brooke Davis, everyone either wants to be you or be with you.

After a moment someone began to clap and Brooke looked around in awe as everyone joined in a chorus of applause. Brooke looked up incredulously at Nathan, "why?"

"Because you survived a tragedy, because you're so much braver and stronger than anyone could have guessed," he explained.

Brooke swallowed back tears of surprise and delight. Eventually she smiled at the people they passed whispering her thanks and meaning every one of them.

XOXOXOXO

Haley held a discrete hand to her stomach as it rolled around. She was certain, absolutely certain that the guy sitting in front of her was wearing skunk musk masked as cologne. The smell of it made her want to vomit all over him.

"Hey," two strong hands landed on her shoulders and she was happy and relieved to accept Jake's kiss on the forehead, "how's the stomach?"

She smiled up at him, "hey yourself, and the stomach is turning upside down and inside out."

"Here," he took her wrist and pushed lightly on the area right above the wrist. Within seconds the nausea decreased significantly. He grinned at her surprise, "I read up last night on some tricks, and my mom gave me some tips."

She smiled at him and felt a tightness in her chest, "thank you."

"No problem, Haley-bop," he murmured the nickname and took his seat beside her.

When he just continued to watch her she sighed, "is it that obvious that I'm on the edge?"

"No," he replied, "but I've known you for many moons. I know when something isn't right."

"Nothing seems to be right," Haley told him.

"It's actually all the way it should be. I've come to have a firm appreciation in fate."

Before Haley could reply the teacher began roll call. Luke still hadn't come into class and Haley was worried he was sulking somewhere, or worse, telling his mother. Only she, Jake and Luke were in honors English and being late to an honors class on the first day was definitely a no-no.

"He'll be here," Jake told her but even his voice sounded unsure.

She nodded and continued to stare at the door. It seemed like only a few moments later the bell was ringing and the class was over. He never came.

XOXOXOXO

By the time lunch was over everyone seemed to know that Luke Scott had skipped the first day of classes and therefore would be ineligible for the first basketball game of the preseason. By the end of fifth period everyone was beginning to talk about Haley and Luke's marriage all ready falling apart. By the time Brooke found Luke on the roof of the school everyone was certain he had cancer of some kind, that Haley had filed for divorce and that, for some crazy reason, Jake was behind her decision.

Brooke approached him wearily. He was hunched over on the stairs that led to the next floor on the roof. He was shaking.

"Hey, broody, what are you doing?"

He turned to her, surprise on his face, "how did you know?"

"It was either the roof or the river court. Since you knew the guys would go there I figured you'd go where you were least likely to be found," she surmised her train of thought.

"Nice," he admitted.

"They don't call me Brooke Davis for no reason."

He sighed and focused on his hands, "this is heavy shit, Brooke."

"This was heavy long before yesterday," she corrected.

"She's pregnant. She's got our son or daughter growing inside of her," he detailed this because it had just occurred to him over the last hour or so.

Brooke sat beside him and nodded, "that she is."

"I don't want it," he choked on the sob in his throat.

"Don't say things you don't mean," Brooke told him immediately.

"I can't want it! This isn't the right time," he told her.

"When is?"

"We're not in the right places in our lives!"

"When will you be?"

Luke looked into her hazel depths and two twin trails of tears fell from his blue eyes, "I love her."

"I know it," Brooke nodded.

"I can't be a father right now," Luke told her.

Brooke shook her head and cupped his cheeks, "you all ready are. The only question is will you be a father to this baby or the next? Either way I love you, but when you make your decision with Haley make peace with it. Because either choice will destroy you if you're not at peace with it."

He nodded and then she wiped his tears with her thumbs, "and by the way, the operative part of that was making the decision with Haley. It's not hers, nor is it yours to make alone."

Luke understood but it was still a great burden for him. He wasn't sure if he could face Haley and be the man she needed. He felt like a little boy and was painfully aware that he was landed in a mess that he had the largest hand in creating.


	53. Sweet Sadness, Sour Happiness

**Please Be Warned That This Chapter Is Rather Dark**

Brooke sat in the chair opposite Dr. Linda MacAlister, one of the foremost experienced psychologists in Women's Studies, Reproductive Pathology and Acute Reproductive Trauma. She was a very tall woman at 6 feet but was as thin as a supermodel. Her height and build mixed with her long honey-gold hair and big bright eyes made her seem like an oxymoron. Why would someone as beautiful as her want to work with women in such terrible agony? Brooke asked the question. It wasn't the first time but this time Linda smiled and replied.

"Because I never want a woman to go through what I did when I learned I had endometriosis at twenty, ovarian cancer at twenty-two and had a full hysterectomy by twenty-three. I hurt myself, Brooke. You don't think that anyone understands but I assure you that there are other women who go through the same torment and that is why I think it's time you cut down on seeing me to one day a week and the other day should be in group therapy."

Brooke stared at the woman and wondered how she could possibly smile, how could she be so genuinely happy? Brooke had moments of goodness, when it wasn't as bad but she hadn't felt genuinely, carefree happy in so long.

"Sometimes when a woman reaches a road block in individual therapy, group therapy is the next key in finally opening the door to happiness again."

"I don't know them," Brooke finally offered.

"It's a group of five women. Three of them are in their mid-twenties, one of them is in her early thirties and one of them is actually younger than you. I lead the group every Thursday at seven pm. If you don't come to your regular two-thirty meeting that day then I'll assume that you'll be at the group session."

XOXOXO

Lucas looked down at his cell phone and sighed when he saw Haley's name in the caller id. Since the end of the day when he had sat on the roof with Brooke he had been running. He told himself that he really needed to drive to Ashville and buy that custom battery for the vintage Mustang Keith was fixing up. He told himself that he should give her time because arguing couldn't be good for her or the baby. Now he sat at the river court, the ball between his ankles. Not even the thought of basketball could still his rapidly beating heart. It hadn't stopped skipping since Haley had shown him the pregnancy test.

"Luke," her voice and presence shouldn't have surprised him. He turned and almost groaned when he saw her tear swollen face and miserable look.

"What are you doing here," he hadn't meant to say that.

Her eyes flashed hurt and it lingered as he watched her try to figure out how to approach him. Finally she took a better step into the light, "you didn't come to class, you didn't go to after school practice and you didn't come home."

He interpreted her observations as slants against him and despite himself his back stiffened and felt himself getting defensive, "I'm sorry if I can't pretend the way you can that everything is okay. Like our lives aren't ruined!"

"Lucas, this is a big deal and I'm upset too but we're not going to solve this by avoiding each other!"

"What do you want Haley," his heart was beating painfully in his chest, an ache he was beginning to associate with his arguments with his wife.

Haley took a deep breath, "I think I want the baby."

No six words had ever stopped time the ways those did for Lucas. He saw, in his mind's eye, all of his dreams crashing and burning right at the tips of his black Air Jordans. No basketball, no time to even consider the book he was thinking of trying to write, no more intimate dinners with the group, no more anything.

"We're only sixteen Hales. We were careless, this is a mistake," Luke rose and tried to steady his voice so they could be reasonable.

She looked at him strangely, "this is our baby. It might now fit in with our plans but it's not a mistake."

"We are way too young to start a family, Haley. This is fucking crazy! Bonkers! Off your rocking chair kind of shit. We cannot have a baby right now. We can't."

"It's too late, Luke, I'm pregnant and I'm not going to have an abortion."

Luke scooped up the ball and threw it as hard as he could on the gravel, anything to release the cold fear and anger pumping through his blood. Haley took a step back, fear plain in her eyes. Luke buried his face in his hands for a moment trying to regain any semblance of cool, "just go."

"Lucas," she tried again.

"Go! I'll be home later, maybe, I guess. I don't know. I don't know."

She took a deep breath, tears burning in her eyes, "I never thought you would be the one, out of the guys I've known and considered, who would runaway. You're a coward."

Lucas watched her walk away and wanted to tear apart anything that got in his path. Anything that might make the sick burning in his chest disappear.

XOXOXO

Peyton walked right up the small walkway and directly into the kitchen of the Jagielski home, prepared to jump Jake and take him for a spin he'd never forget. Unfortunately, she ran squarely into Lucas, who was standing in the doorway, getting reamed out by Jake. A reaming by Jake Jagielski was a special kind of show because no matter how angry he was in the beginning, by the end he was the same old Jake leaving the observers to wonder how he could possibly be so God damned laid back.

Luke turned around and Peyton caught the haunted look in his eyes. Right as she asked in true fright, "what did you do," Jake smiled at her and asked, "what took you so long to come?"

"Haley wants to keep the baby," Luke told Peyton.

Peyton's mouth dropped open, "what the hell changed from this morning when she was just as upset as you were?"

"I don't have a fucking clue!"

"Well that's because you ran away," Peyton told him dryly, then considered the situation for a moment before finally turning accusing eyes on Jake, "what did you say to her?"

Jake grinned sheepishly, "we talked after English because Luke hadn't shown up and I told her that she should listen to her heart. I told her that she has a more supportive family in us then most other people do no matter what their age. I told her that no matter what we'd be there for her."

"And," Peyton's eyebrow shot up when she saw him blush. He sucked at keeping secrets!

"What did you say man," Luke asked.

"I just told her that she could do it, be a mom I mean. Be pregnant, give birth, raise the baby and do it all. I told her it would be the hardest thing she's ever done but nothing else would garn the same great rewards."

Luke sat heavily on one of the kitchen chairs, "shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit!"

"Jake," Peyton cupped his cheek, "stop being so damned soft hearted."

Before he could reply Lucas was banging his head against the table, not hard enough to do damage but hard enough to make them worry.

"I told her it was a mistake."

"The baby," Peyton asked.

"Yeah, the fucking baby. Shit! The crazy thing is that I still believe it's a mistake! We cannot have a baby right now and last. She's only a few weeks into it and we're all ready unraveling!"

"Who's fault is that," Jake asked him.

Luke glared at him, "I'm human. I'm not like the rest of you demigods. When I'm scared I do stupid shit!"

"Is shit your new favorite word," Peyton wondered as she took a seat across the table from him.

"It sure beats some of the others I've been thinking about," Luke told her.

Jake opened a beer and placed it in front of Lucas, "drink up and then you can go crash in the guest room. I don't think you should go home in this state of mind."

"Are you sure you have room," he asked.

"You can stay at my house if you want. Plenty of space and if you don't come over it will all go to waste because I'll probably crash at Deb's house."

Lucas nodded, "I don't want to interrupt your family."

"You wouldn't be," Jake insisted.

"I'll take care of the young, strapping, lad. No worries, Jakie, I won't let any harm come to our lil' Daddy," Peyton teased him with her dry tone.

"Sure," Jake finally conceded. Lucas went outside to wait for Peyton in her car and that was when Jake attacked, snatching Peyton up against him and nuzzling her throat, "what happened last night?"

Peyton tried to think of a way to explain it but found nothing. There were some things that had happened in her life that she could never wrap around well enough in her head. If she had Haley's ability maybe she could sing it. If she had Luke's ability maybe she could write it. If she were like Jake and Brooke maybe she could talk it out. But out of them all she was the most like Nathan, who would suffer the deepest pain in silence because they weren't equipped to release it in one way.

So in the end she answered the only way she could with one word and one searing kiss, "everything."

XOXOXO

Brooke walked into Deb's house and took a deep shuddering breath. She could smell the rain that was weighing down so heavily on the clouds and it made her ache for the days when she would have the girls out in the fall rain preparing so diligently for the cheer competition. Those days were over, but their memory held Brooke stagnate sometimes. Maybe, she thought to herself, she could try that group counseling.

"Brooke," Nathan's voice brought her out of her train of thought and directed her eyes to the crying mess that was masquerading as Haley sitting on the couch.

"What's wrong," her voice cracked.

Haley looked at her, "he doesn't want the baby."

"Oh boy," Brooke sat down beside Nathan and covered his hand, which was gripping Haley's.

"I didn't think I wanted it either but then Jake told me I could do and I thought to myself that this baby could be a gift. Everything has been fucked up for so long and I thought maybe God was giving me something wonderful to make up for it."

"This could be that gift Hales," Nathan attempted to sooth her and comfort her but in all honesty the only person he knew inside out was Brooke and even then he wasn't always able to comfort her.

"I take it you tried to be reasonable and he got that deer caught in the headlights look and started to ramble," Brooke questioned.

"Hit the nail on the head," Haley sniffed in response.

"And he verbalized that he wasn't sure he'd be able to go home tonight," Brooke continued.

"Yeah."

Brooke sighed, "he'll come around."

After a long pause where both Nathan and Haley stared at her finally Haley cleared her throat, "how do you know?"

"I don't know anything for sure, per say, but I do know that he'll come around. He rambled which means he hasn't accepted the news and he doesn't want to come home tonight because even though he wants to be near you he's afraid his behavior will mess you guys up. He'll come around."

Nathan and Haley looked at her again, then each other, and back at her. She seemed sure and that was a weight off Nathan's shoulders but Haley was more upset, "why does he get to have the breakdown?"

"Idk Haley James-Scott, all I know is that men are little boys for the duration of their entire lives," Brooke grinned cheekily at Nathan.

"I wouldn't say that but I will agree with Brooke. Lucas loves you, he wouldn't have risked a rift between him and his mother if he didn't. The only person he loves more than her is you. I can tell you from previous pregnancy scares that each and every time it made my testicles ascend back into my body and made me feel like a baby again, completely dependent on anyone who could take of my problems for me."

Brooke knew he was trying to make Haley feel better and had absolutely no malicious intent but the words still hurt. They would never have another reason to think she was pregnant, whether it was a scare or not. For the second time that night she seriously considered taking the next step and at least going to one group counseling session.

"All I know is that when push come to shove, I can take care of myself. I don't need Lucas or anyone else."

"Don't be dense, Haley," Brooke chastised her, "you don't get to go back on hiatus because you're going through a crisis. Jake didn't and if he didn't, when he certainly had reason to, then you can't."

"We're your family, Hales, it's not optional," Nathan agreed with Brooke.

Haley nodded, they were her family and one way or another she, and they, would get through this.

XOXOXO

Linda smiled around the six women sitting in a circle with her. She was happy to see that Brooke Davis had shown up. She noticed that Brooke had done what she'd expected her to: she was the quintessential Southern belle. Dressed in low riding skinny jeans, a black silk top, ballet flats and her hair and make up the closest to airbrushed she'd ever seen. Brooke's smokescreen had always been her looks, the fact that she was relying on them for her confidence told Linda two things: that she was starting to look at her body and take a measure of pride in it, and that she was still trying to create a mask to hide the flaws she couldn't hide from herself, the devastating pain of her inability to reproduce.

"Ladies I would like to introduce you to our newest group member, Brooke. Brooke this is Angela, Denise, Marisa, Laura and Danielle."

Brooke looked at the three women in their twenties, all were gorgeous in their own right and obviously successful based on the quality of their clothing. The woman in her thirties looked oddly familiar, but still very kind. Brooke recognized the girl beside her, Danielle, as being from another High School nearby which was known for being rather improverished.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you all," Brooke spoke quietly, seemingly unsure of her voice.

After general greetings ended Linda sat forward, "okay, we'll start off light to help Brooke acclimate herself to how we work together. Who would like to talk about their week first?"

Denise, a small redhead with gorgeous brown eyes, rose her hand, "I will."

"Usually we discuss how the week has impacted our self-esteem or about something in particular that has brought us closer to acceptance or denial," Linda explained to Brooke.

"My colleague in advertising somehow got a hold of my HR file and the bitter, backstabbing bitch told the entire office about my infertility treatments. She told them I was one of the women that tried to have a baby with a baster," Denise's voice cracked even as she tried so hard to maintain her control.

"Why do you think she did that," Linda asked.

"Because I get better offers and do better work," Denise replied, her face fell, "it's only because she's got her hands full with her babies. She has a three-year-old and six month old twins."

Brooke's heart broke a bit in her chest. She couldn't imagine a woman that fortunate being so conniving when she had so many gifts.

"What was your response," Linda continued, not judging simply continuing with the process.

"I went to the women's bathroom in the café across the street from the office during lunch and cried. I cried until I thought there was no water left in my body. I cried until I was numb."

"Then what?"

Denise's eyes were swimming with tears when she answered Brooke's quietly asked question, "then I got myself together, got my bearings, and left before I could pull out the razor and cut myself."

"Denise is a recovering cutter," Linda elaborated since Denise had shared the information.

"Sometimes the only way I can get past the numbness and into anything again is to cut."

Brooke nodded, how many times had standing straight just to feel the staples and stitches pull comforted her? She was beginning to think she was more fucked up than she'd previously thought.

"Brooke maybe you'd like to share your week," Linda asked. She'd been doing her job for a long time. She knew when she had a patient who would respond to a push here and there.

Brooke cleared her throat and felt it tighten, "one of my best friends found out she's pregnant."

"Jesus," Marisa muttered.

"Yeah," Brooke agreed, deverting her gaze to the floor, "she wants it and the father doesn't. I love them both and usually they, with the rest of our group, are like family. But I found myself looking at her with such anger this week. I love her, she's a sister to me, but I'm so angry with her."

"It's okay to be angry," Laura offered, "I get angry every time I see a heavily pregnant woman. So angry that I shake, then I feel so guilty. It's awful."

"It's okay to feel anger, it's even okay to direct it at someone in your thoughts. It's never okay to physically or verbally abuse anyone, but thinking bad thoughts is sometimes what will keep you aware that you have more work to do."

Angela nodded her own head at Linda's words, "for a long time I couldn't leave my house without making a marked effort to make someone cry in public. I'm a lawyer, I have a great gift of using words, if I do say so myself. Unfortunately that also means I can tear someone to shreds. I thought at first that God gave me the gift of words and logic but took away the gift of giving life."

"I think that God must have allowed these tragedies to happen because we're all strong," Brooke commented. She'd seriously only known these women for twenty minutes but she could see the truth plainly in their eyes, not one of them was weak although they did have weaknesses.

"Brooke's right," Linda conceded, "each of you had the characters of strong, self-possessed women before your respective tragedies. Would the woman you consider to be the weakest in your family been able to handle it?"

Angela snorted, "my little sister would move in with the indigenous people in a remote culture and go stark, raving, mad!"

"I think my Aunt Joyce would shut down. She cries a lot and needs a lot of attention, in a bad way though, you know," Danielle spoke quietly.

Linda sat forward, "so what's the key then? I don't believe that anyone deserves to be unhappy. What is the key to happiness for women who can do and be anything they want except the one thing they want most in the world?"

Brooke would consider that question for a long time to come.

**AN- any questions, comments or concerns please feel free to send a message to me. I'm always open to new ideas and opinions.**


	54. How Could You?

Peyton woke up suddenly, she didn't know what it was but something was amiss in her house. She looked across her bed and saw Lucas asleep. She was glad he'd finally been able to rest, he'd been restless and shifting throughout the night. She considered it funny that everyone in their group shared beds with one another. She thought that perhaps they all had Mommy and Daddy issues.

There was a very distinct sound from the kitchen and this time Lucas sat up in bed, groggy but awake, "what was that?"

"I don't know but it's not normal," Peyton replied.

Luke rose, "stay here and don't come down until you hear me call."

"Luke-"

He cut off her complaint with a slash of his hand through the air, letting her know to maintain the quietness of the rest of the house, "ya hear?"

She nodded because she knew that he only had a stronger Southern accent when he was scared.

Luke quietly crept down the stairs and wished that he'd taken the time to pull on some sweats. He was almost to the kitchen door when he felt a presence behind him. He turned and saw Peyton standing behind him.

"Didn't I tell you to stay upstairs," he mouthed, his voice barely audible.

She shrugged, "I wasn't letting you get into any danger! Besides I told Jake I'd take care of you."

"You're worse than Brooke," he muttered and continued, but he kept her behind him. If there was a burglar he damn sure wouldn't get to Peyton without a fight.

He grabbed a baseball bat that Peyton pointed out and together they jumped into the kitchen at the same moment the light turned on. Both of them screamed!

Finally Lucas and Peyton focused just in time for Lucas to get slapped across the face. He focused as Peyton asked in a confused voice, "Karen?"

"Lucas Eugene Scott," Karen's voice was a harsh whisper, "how could you?"

"Mom," he rubbed his sore cheek, "it's nothing. Peyton and I aren't together I was just staying at her place tonight."

Karen's body shook with agitation, "Haley's pregnant."

"Aw shit," Peyton muttered, she swept her hand out, "why don't you two step into the living room. I'm going back upstairs to bed."

"Thank you Peyton," Karen nodded and followed Lucas into the living room.

He sat and rubbed his arm, it ached and he thought to himself that he'd have to cut down on the weights during the coming week. Karen's eyes filled with tears, "how could you be so stupid? How could you be so careless? Was I talking to the wall the last couple of years?"

"Mom, it was an accident."

"No, spilling your glass of water on the floor is an accident. This is just plain foolishness! And what's worse is that I learned about this from your hysterical wife on the phone. You were supposed to do right by her."

Lucas harshly brought his hand down his face, "what about her Mom? Was I the only person there? She certainly wasn't complaining!"

"Watch it," Karen warned.

Luke took a deep breath, "it was a mistake, a big, big mistake. But we could solve it and never be so careless again. If she would just come to her senses!"

"Luke," Karen took his hand, "when a woman is pregnant there is a connection, once the woman accepts it. It seems like Haley has accepted it. The question is what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know Mom," he lowered his head until it was cradled in her lap.

XOXOXOXO

Nathan looked over Brooke's sleeping form and found Haley asleep beside Brooke. Brooke was snoring lightly into his chest, her arm clutched tightly to him as if she was afraid he would leave her in her sleep. Haley was sleeping curled up to Brooke, as if she was trying to protect herself from whatever may come. For a moment Nathan's heart was light as he looked at her. His friend was a going to be a mother and he knew she'd be damned good at it. But then his heart settled again as he thought of his brother's upset. He didn't condone running from one's problems but he knew that he couldn't hate him for something that was rightfully the scariest thing that had ever happened to him. Then his heart fell straight down as he thought of Brooke. They would never have the moment Luke and Haley had; they would never know the joy of expecting their child.

Brooke snorted in her sleep and turned until she and Haley were head to head. Haley shifted and finally opened her eyes. She stared straight at Nathan. Neither of them spoke for a long time. Finally Haley nodded, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Nathan told her.

"No, but it still hurts."

Nathan nodded, because she was telling the truth, he feared it would always hurt.

XOXOXOXO

Brooke watched Haley wearily as she applied her mascara. Brooke always thought that one should look presentable when visiting the gynecologist. Haley put on the make up because she didn't think she'd be able to handle an overexcited Brooke right before making the biggest decision of her life with or without her husband.

"…so Rachel's coming back from her spontaneous vacay in two days," Brooke chattered lightly.

Haley barely heard anything she was saying and ended up blurting, "I didn't get married to go through this kind of stuff alone."

Brooke closed her mouth abruptly, waited a moment then opened her mouth just to close it again. Finally she nodded, "you're right. I thought Luke would come around long before today."

"How could he abandon me," Haley's voice trembled, "how could he leave me? He was never supposed to do this!"

"Be weak," Brooke asked quietly.

Haley's eyes filled with tears, "no. I don't know. He was just so strong through all of the Dan stuff, and before that with the group. I never thought something so amazing would make him run. He didn't even run from me after I told him I'd been raped! Why would the thought of our child possibly make him run?"

"That's a question for him Hales, I can't even guess at the answer. I know for certain that if I were able to get pregnant Nathan would," Brooke paused and took a breath, "he'd be so happy."

"It's different for you, Brooke," Haley cupped her friend's cheek, "you will find a way to be a mother to someone someday. And when you do, you'll be far better at it then anyone I've ever met."

"You're the one in emotional upheaval," Brooke reminded her gently.

"And you're still my sister, in the good and bad. I don't think that we were clear enough to you that we needed you back, not because you take care of us, but because we just love you. I know you hurt, but Brooke," Haley smiled, "you fail to understand that you are the exception, never, ever the rule. You're unique and beautiful and you are deserving of love and laughter and motherhood."

Brooke's chest felt as if it was being cracked open and one more piece of her shattered soul seemed to heal. She pulled Haley into her arms, "I love you Haley James-Scott and we will get you through this."

"And I love you Brooke Davis, and we will get you through this," Haley promised.

XOXOXOXO

Lucas stood across the street from Dr. Benfield's Office of Obstetrics and Gynecology. He watched Brooke and Haley walk toward the doors and wanted to cross, wanted to pull her into his arms and tell him that he would be who she needed him to be. Unfortunately, he wasn't sure he could be. His mother told him to be at the appointment. Peyton told him not to do anything until he was sure he wouldn't fuck it all up. Jake told him that he was creating wounds he might not have the capability of healing. Nate just shook his head, obviously unknowing how to take the situation. And Brooke just sent a simple text message: love ya buddy, I know you'll do the right thing.

"What the fuck is the right thing," Luke muttered out loud. The homeless man standing beside him by the bus stop looked at him strangely.

"Are you going to go in or just stalk the place for the next few hours," the voice was familiar.

Luke turned and smiled, "Rachel. I thought Brooke said you and Mouth wouldn't be back until Monday."

Rachel smirked, "that was until I got the interesting baby mama drama details."

"Yeah," Luke looked toward the office again and rubbed his arm. He thought that his stress level was getting way out of control his fingers were starting to feel numb.

"I can't believe you're being so stupid! Let me guess, the entire group, minus J-Scott, is being super supportive and telling you that you'll do the right thing?"

"Who the hell is J-Scott?"

"Haley James-Scott equals J-Scott, duh! Anyway, they're telling that they'll be there no matter what. What they're not telling you is that Haley won't be. If you fuck this up, this monstrously important thing, then you will lose her. Period."

It was funny how Rachel's frank observation clarified everything instanteously for Lucas. Unfortunately before he could make the decision to take those steps into the office the sharpest pain he had ever felt pierced his chest and crippled him. Vaguely, he heard Rachel coming down beside him, her hands on his head but the pain was too great. He accepted the blessed blackness, and passed out.

XOXOXOXO

"How could he have just not shown up," Haley asked Brooke quietly.

Brooke shrugged and held Haley's hand tightly within hers as they sat on the patient's stretcher, "I don't know, Hales. All I know is that something must be keeping him from being here, being with you."

Haley's eyes filled with tears, "I don't think so, Brooke."

"Oh, Haley," Brooke gave her a long hug.

The doctor walked in and sat in front of Haley very quietly, "I have some bad news Haley. Would you like Brooke to stay?"

Haley's breath clogged in her throat. Everything in her body buzzed in anticipation of what the doctor would say. She couldn't handle this!

"Just say it, say it fast," Brooke begged. Haley was grateful that Brooke knew her so well.

"The fetus is unviable. You're ten weeks along and there is no heartbeat. We don't know why this happens but I do know that it wasn't anything that you did. And in the future, maybe when you're older, you should have absolutely no problems becoming pregnant."

Haley's body went numb and she didn't feel the tears that washed down her cheeks in silence. Brooke squeezed her hand, "what now?"

"I'll submit an order for an immediate D&C. You'll have to go to the hospital immediately. I am so sorry Haley."

**AN- I know that was short but it had to be done before we get to the meat of the drama! **


	55. The Still Eye Of The Tornado

It hurt. It hurt to be lying on the stretcher as the cold of the sterile hospital sunk into her bones. It hurt to know that Brooke was sitting beside the makeshift bed, there to protect and defend her. Her skin felt sore and fragile, as if to touch or be touched by anything might rip her skin or crush her bones. It hurt to know that her husband still hadn't answered his God damned cell phone. If she thought back, everything in her life seemed to hurt. No positive, no happy memory came without pain. Not even her wedding day. Not even the day she had found out she was carrying the man of her dream's baby. Oh God, it hurt.

The door opened and the light hurt her eyes further. They were all ready dry and red from the tears. They had been a constant flow until the very moment she had known that they had taken the life from her. She prayed that it wasn't Lucas walking in. As much as she wanted to see him, be with him, she knew that she might destroy him if he came to her now. She might scream and rage until he collapsed.

"Hales," Nathan went to her side and before she could protest he took her hand into his and bent until they were eye level.

"We're waiting for her discharge information and medication," Brooke told him quietly. Her eyes told him more than anything could have. Nathan nodded a bit, replying with his simple gesture that he would strong enough to stay with Haley while Brooke went off to find Lucas. If his stupid older brother wouldn't answer his phone Brooke would find him.

"All right Haley, Brooke is going to go but she'll meet us home," Nathan told her.

Haley choked on a breath, "it's gone."

"I know," Nathan took her into his arms and held her as Brooke quietly left the room. There was nothing that he knew how to do that would help her. He knew from experience that she would have to ride out the initial pain, fight through the coming anger and try and find a middle ground after. He wondered why every woman in his life was so unlucky. He wanted to, even needed, to help them but it didn't matter. He was never able to save them.

XOXOXOXO

Jake watched Peyton rise and talk quietly with Brooke before Brooke walked out of the hospital. She stood for a moment blinking at the spot where Brooke had just stood. Her eyes mirrored a pain that he had seen all a handful of times before, desolation and devastation. He rose and took her into his arms, he held her tightly, his forearms gripped securely around her tiny waist. When she snuggled her face into his neck, as if hiding, he sighed. This was the way it should have always been. There should have never been a moment where he wasn't the one to shield her and stabilize her.

"I love you Peyton Sawyer," he whispered the words. Her reply was a muffled sob into his throat. He knew that she loved him too. There had been days when he hadn't been sure if it was enough, but there had never been a day when he hadn't known it was there. She was too transparent to him, every emotion was so clear to him that it was as if her soul spoke directly to him.

"I don't think they'll make it through now," Peyton admitted.

Jake sighed and drew her to the waiting room chairs they had been occupying since Brooke had called them to the hospital. He kissed her hand, "as much as I love them, as much as I hurt for Haley right now the most important thing I can do right now is make things right with us Peyt."

"Jake, I don't think-"

He gently put one finger over Peyton's soft lips, "I do think so. I know that Jenny's birth mother is a huge hurtle for you but I know that you have an unimaginable ability to forgive. I need you to do me a favor Peyton and if you can do it then I give you my word that I will do a few things for you."

"What's the favor," Peyton asked suspiciously.

"I will love you with everything in me. I will ride with you wherever you want to go, lie for you and die for you. I love you. I will do everything I can to make you smile every moment of every day for the rest of your life. But you have to use that ability to forgive to forgive your mother and Nikki."

She looked away, her nose flaring with the effort to contain her tears, "I don't think I can do that."

He gently pulled her chin back until her gorgeous green eyes were settled on him again, "your mother would be so proud of you Peyton. She would look at your art work and your love of music and its message and weep at the beauty in you. Forgive her for dying. And Nikki caused us all so much pain but she gave the biggest and most meaningful apology she could, she gave me Jenny. I know you love me, forgive her because she gave me my baby girl."

"She took away…everything," she choked on her words.

"Yes, she took away a lot but you holding on to this doesn't hurt her. She's gone forever Peyton. By not forgiving you're hurting yourself and I refuse to allow anyone, including you, to hurt you. Stop being a victim Peyton."

Stop being a victim, Peyton repeated the sentence again and again in her head. She wondered when she had begun to play that part so well. When had she allowed the natural pain of her mother's death to become her pass into constant victim status? Her mother would turn over in her grave if she could see her acting this way. As for Nikki, the best way to get back at her would be to be the best woman in the world for Jake Jagielski, to love him the way she never could. She sobbed out loud because she finally realized what she had almost given up.

"I love you," she launched herself into Jake's arms.

He breathed out a sigh of relief. He had taken a huge risk, knowing he could have alienated her further but the pros had outweighed the cons and he'd come out on top. He held her to him and smiled into her hair, "I love you too."

XOXOXOXO

"I want to call Haley, she and Brooke have been calling your phone constantly," Rachel told Lucas as she paced at the end of his bed.

Lucas watched her as she paced and shook his head belligerently, "no way. Haley would freak and God knows what that would do to the baby. Brooke would tell Haley. We tell no one that this happened!"

Rachel stopped and glared at him, "you had a precursor to a heart attack Luke! You're not even seventeen yet! Don't you think that's strange?"

He took a deep breath, "when I was fourteen Dan sent Keith a message telling him that he had inherited my grandfather's heart condition. My mother immediately had me tested, the tests said that I was positive but my mother never saw that letter. She only saw Keith's letter, the one that I put my name on."

"You've had a heart condition this whole time," Rachel squeaked in outrage.

Luke almost smirked, "I would never have been allowed to remain on the basketball team if they all knew."

"What the hell is wrong in your head? Are you that stupid? Really? Is it possible for anyone to be that stupid?"

"I knew that a heart attack was a risk but I didn't think it would happen, it never happened to Dan," Luke rationalized.

"Well what now smart guy?"

"I need to get out of here and find my wife," Luke told her.

Rachel sighed, that hadn't been what she meant and they both knew it but she didn't have the patience to question him further, "fine, let's go then! I can't wait to see her reaction anyway."

Lucas' heart skipped again, that was something he wasn't looking forward to. He would just have to tell her that they would make it work. He'd tell her everything would be okay with her and the baby and that he would protect them all. He just hoped it was a promise he could keep.

XOXOXOXO

Brooke exited the hospital and immediately put her hands on her knees to support her suddenly weak frame. She couldn't help but think that her negative thoughts and anger toward Haley and her baby had somehow made the sad state of events come to pass. She had looked Haley in the eyes that morning and told her that they would get through what ever happened, never ever expecting that Haley's baby wouldn't be viable, wouldn't have a heart.

"Oh Haley, I'm so sorry," Brooke choked on her own bile as her body finally rejected the heinous emotions of the past few hours. As she rose and wiped her mouth, desperate to begin her search for Luke before his absence was officially counted as a disqualification, she saw Luke in the parking lot with Rachel Gattina.

Luke looked up when Brooke was exactly ten feet away from him. Before she could yell, or rage, she noticed how pale he was, how hard he was breathing. She stopped and her eyes softened, thinking she knew what was wrong, "who told you?"

He looked at her guiltily and wondered briefly how it was that Brooke really did know everything in all of their lives, "the doctor?"

"Rachel?"

Rachel shrugged, "you know I don't reveal sources. Damned good to see you again though."

Brooke smiled briefly, relieved that Luke hadn't been alone when he found out, "come inside, she's almost ready for discharge but they wanted to wait a few more hours just to be sure she was okay."

Luke nodded, that was all he wanted as well, for Haley to be okay.

"She'll be angry as hell at you but I think that if you take her home and take care of her eventually the anger will be a little less," Brooke talked as they walked, she walked slowly noting that the closer they approached to the floor and room Haley was in the more out of breath Luke became. She didn't realize that it could have been because of the five flights of steps or the speed walking. Not when she was with a basketball player in the prime of his life.

"I hope she'll just forgive me. I hope she knows I'm just a stupid ass and I'll do better next time. I hope she knows that I'll be there for her through this no matter what," Luke told Brooke.

She smiled then, thinking he had more of Nathan in him than he realized and led him to the door. Nathan saw them and rose so they could have privacy. When the door was closed behind them Luke walked slowly to Haley, seeing her tears and completely misinterpreting them.

"I know I've been acting out of sorts lately and I'm so sorry for that. It won't ever happen again. I know you don't have a reason to believe me, but allow my actions to speak for me until you can trust me again."

Haley's eyes were fixed on the wall behind him but they were beginning to leak steady streams of tears, "it's gone."

"No, baby," he knelt in front of her. He tried to take her hand but she snatched it away, "our love is not gone. We've been through too much, I love you too much. I will be the prince you've always dreamed of, I will!"

"You should have been here," she cried still.

"I wanted to be, but Hales," he put his shaky hand on her stomach, "I'll be here for every other appointment until he or she is born. And when you have our little son or daughter it will the happiest day of life."

Haley's eyes widened in true horror as she shoved his hand from her body like he'd burnt her, "was that some kind of sick joke?"

Luke took a step back in surprise at her agitation, "no, I meant every word. I'll do everything I can to be the best husband and father from here on out."

"It's dead Luke," she spoke every word clearly and eventually without emotion, "it didn't have a heartbeat so the doctor took it out of me."

Luke took a step back until his legs hit the guest chair and he fell into it. Now he knew exactly what she'd meant when she had said it was gone. Their baby had been aborted because it didn't have a heartbeat. Luke almost choked on his breath, like him his child had a defective heart, and it had left the love of his life's heart broken.

XOXOXOXO

Nathan shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He didn't want to be here, not when he had just driven Haley and Luke home and they were both devastated and angry, not when Brooke was trying her hardest to take care of them both, usually at the expense of herself. He didn't want to be here at all and he was damned irritated that he'd been forced into it.

"So Nathan," the therapist that Brooke's therapist had suggested, aka Therapy Man, began their first chat together, "what brings you here?"

"You don't know," Nathan wondered, "Brooke's therapist didn't tell you anything?"

"Well we're both psychological pathologists so I can gather a bit of data simply from deductive reasoning, but I'd rather you tell me why you're here and what you expect of our time together."

"I thought you were an expert in couple infertility counseling," he questioned.

"I am that as well," Therapy Man smiled and it reminded Nathan of a younger Whitey, which calmed him more than anything else about the man did.

"Look my girlfriend is still going through a tough time right now and she needs me to be here tonight in case any of my feelings have been squashed in the meantime. We don't have to really do anything. All I have to do is be here and then you tell me that in your opinion I don't have to come back and we're done!"

"Well if that's the case then you might as well use the money you've all ready invested in me," Therapy Man rationalized.

"I don't need a shrink," Nathan told him vehemently.

"I'm not a shrink," Therapy Man sounded offended, "I help people, usually couples, come to terms with that fact that for one reason or another they will never have a child of their own, at least not the old fashioned way. If that's not a problem for you then I envy you. But I'm not a shrink, awful kind of insult!"

Nathan wasn't quite sure that Therapy Man wasn't mocking him, or just being really sarcastic. He was beginning to remind him more and more of Whitey and before he could stop himself he asked, "why would you envy me if it wasn't my problem?"

"Because Brooke's therapist is my wife, and is completely unable to become pregnant."

Nathan looked him over. Tall man, looked like he swam, mysterious but had an attitude like Whitey and he had a good hand shake. Despite his normal composure Nathan admitted, "my girlfriend is unable to become or maintain a pregnancy as well."

Therapy Man nodded and must have decided something about Nathan as well, "tell me about her."

"Well, she's five foot two on a good day and one hundred and ten pounds soaking went. She's intuitive and sensitive and strong. She's the strongest person I've ever met. She has these deep dimples that sink right in when she's really feeling an emotion. She has the most amazing hazel eyes. When she loves," Nathan paused, making sure Therapy Man understood, "she loves forever, with every ounce of everything she is."

"One word," Therapy Man prompted.

"Incredible," Nathan replied immediately.

"Are you comfortable telling me why Brooke cannot have children," Nathan responded to the question with the bare minimum of facts regarding the whole situation that had led to the day at the pier.

"I'm sure people tell you often that you're both too young to worry," Therapy Man had to know where this young man stood.

"I am too young," Nathan grinned, as if to a private joke, "by the time people believe I'm not, that she's not, we'll still be together. This isn't a young love, misguided situation. There's no way for me to prove that except to say look at us in ten years. I would be all sorts of foolhardy to let someone who makes me so happy go, especially when I make her feel the same."

Therapy Man sat back, "I could tell you right now what you want me to say. I could say, 'Mr Scott you don't need to ever come back'. However, if you want to come back next week and maybe start talking about the time right after the accident then I'll leave this hour open for you."

Nathan rose and nodded. He thought of Brooke and how much better she'd been doing. He thought that maybe her earlier words were right, maybe it was time to start taking care of himself. He rationalized that it would help him take better care of Brooke. He didn't even dare think that it was because beneath his tough guy exterior he had been weeping just as often and as hard as Brooke had.


	56. What It Is

"Tell me about the time right after the accident." Mr. Therapy Man sat up straight in his chair, his eyes looking at Nathan, not with pity but real interest.

Nathan took a deep breath and made a conscious effort to relax his tense muscles, "it was pretty bad. Brooke was unconscious for days after her surgery. She was just so pale. I remember thinking that if she died I would hunt Felix down and kill him. I remember really thinking of torturing another human being. I remember that scaring the shit out of me."

"Did you tell anyone about these urges to go after Felix in the event of Brooke's death?"

"It felt like everyone was asking me how I was but no one was listening to the answer. You know? Like, you're listening to me but are you _really_ hearing me?"

"So you felt like no one really cared?"

Nathan frowned, "no! Of course, everyone who I allowed into that room gave a damn about me and Brooke."

"So you felt that you were conveying your true feelings but no one could understand how you were going about it?"

"I guess Brooke has just always been the one who spoke my language. It is uncanny how well she can read me. Or anyone for that matter. You should meet her, it's like she can read your intent. Spooky shit, man."

"About your urges to kill Felix if Brooke died," Mr. Therapy Man drew the conversation back.

"I didn't tell anyone anything. All I said was that I was not leaving the room until Brooke either woke up or...you know."

"Have you ever questioned your love for Brooke." There were traces of exasperation in Mr. Therapy Man's voice.

Nathan didn't speak for a long moment and then totally surprised Mr. Therapy Man with his answer, "yes, I have questioned it and I've acted on sexual feelings for another woman."

XOXOXOXO

How can a place that had been so warm and loving two weeks ago feel so cold and barren now? Haley walked around her home in a daze. The only time she felt enough motivation to actually be a human being was when she saw Lucas. Everything he did annoyed her. He wasn't doing anything right! Nathan had been a constant at Brooke's side, doing everything she had needed without a word from her. How could Lucas be so unknowing about her? How could Lucas not call the record label for her? How could he not run up and down the stairs to get everything she needed? And it always came down to, how could he have acted the way he had and missed being her support in the worst thing that had ever happened to her?

Haley looked up to the door as Lucas walked in with a tray with toast and scrambled eggs. He was pale and sad looking. The sadness was all over him. She couldn't take it!

"What is that," was that her voice? So hollow and cold?

"Wheat toast and scrambled eggs," Lucas replied, his false sense of happiness pissed her off even more.

Haley felt her anger rising to magnificent proportions, "I'm not hungry."

"You haven't been eating, you have to eat a little something. You're getting too thin," he implored her.

"I'm not interested in your stupid food Lucas," she smacked the tray from his hands and when it finally clattered and laid still she still didn't feel appeased. She sat up from her position on the couch, tears in her eyes, "I wanted you to be with me when I found out. I wanted you to be with me when they did it to me! Where were you?"

"I told you before, I drove out of town and stayed a night in my old hometown. I didn't bring my charger so when my phone died I couldn't get it up and running again until I got back here."

"With Rachel Gattina? Does she fuck better than me?"

"God, Haley! No, I have never had sex with Rachel. I thought she was your friend!"

Haley settled back in complete misery, tears began to swim down her face. She covered her face and sobbed, "you should have been with me!"

Lucas watched her sob, a daily occurrence nowadays. He slid to the floor and tried to take breath. He couldn't get to upset without starting to feel short of breath. It was getting worse. Everything was getting worse. He pulled his knees up and listened to his wife sob on the couch. He wanted to cry too but instead he just laid his head on his knees and rocked slowly as his heart rate began to grow steadier and quieter.

XOXOXOXO

Mr. Therapy Man sat forward, "when did this act take place?"

Nathan shrugged, "years ago now. It was Haley, the one I told you about the other day. Brooke knows, the whole gang knows. No secrets."

"Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if you had truly chosen Haley," Mr. Therapy Man asked after a thoughtful silence.

Nathan grinned, "it wasn't an option. Haley didn't really want me and in hindsight I never really wanted her either. Brooke was meant for me and Haley was meant for Luke."

"Nathan, surely you are not so nearsighted as to believe that you could not find many women who could love you, and deeply at that."

"Look, man, I don't think I can make it more clear that it is impossible for me to live without Brooke. She's like," he paused and thought it over before finishing, "water. She just replenishes me every single time I have her near me. And just the thought of her makes me want her instantaneously and constantly. She's versatile too! She's not just something inside of me but something that cleanses me too. I suppose I could have made the choice to not be with her but it would have been a stupid decision."

"Why?"

"Because who gives away someone who gives so much to them?"

"You did once," Mr. Therapy Man pointed out.

Nathan nodded, "yeah, I did. For completely teenage drama reasons."

"May I ask one more question for this session?"

"Sure, doc, give it a whirl!"

Mr. Therapy Man sat forward and looked Nathan straight in the eyes, "what do you have in your life that makes you happy that does not involve Brooke or your father?"

XOXOXOXO

Brooke rubbed Haley's back as she laid on her bed. When Brooke had cautiously walked into the James-Scott household she had found Haley asleep on the couch, dried tear tracks on her face and Lucas rocking quietly on the floor. It had all looked so deranged that Brooke had instantly woken Haley and demanded that they all clean up the house and open curtains. It had been so creepy, so oddly unsettling that her instincts had been screaming at her to get everyone in gear.

Now Haley was getting a massage from Brooke as Lucas took his Brooke-ordered shower complete with relaxing incense and the sounds of nature playing on a portable CD player. Brooke wasn't playing any games, this couple had to be mended or they would both crumble.

"I think that I must hate him," Haley whispered.

"You're too angry to hate him. Hate implies a carelessness for his destruction. If he died tonight you would never forgive yourself for not telling him you loved him."

Haley shrugged, "I can't feel anything else except rage."

"Is it really rage at Lucas though? Think it over because after the accident I was angry at the world, at God, at the cosmos, anything that had control over that uncontrollable situation. I admit that I was angry with Nikki and Felix for a time, but Hales, I was so much more furious with God."

Haley rolled over and looked at Brooke, "he's hiding something. If he had really been out of town and his phone died then I would forgive him because I do know that not being there for me during the...you know, was hard on him. But I know he is lying to me and it is driving me insane not knowing what took precedence over that whole situation."

Brooke thought about it and decided that a visit to Rachel Gattina was in order as soon as she stopped in to feed the renewed couple that called themselves Peyton and Jake. Honestly, they would only ever feed the baby and then continue to mate like bunnies if it wasn't for Brooke pulling them out of the bedroom into the kitchen occasionally.

XOXOXOXO

Nathan drove home in silence. He considered Mr. Therapy Man's question intensely. He also admitted in his mind that Mr. Therapy Man was really worth his weight in gold. He knew how to do his job. In the past weeks Nathan had assessed more about himself then he had ever cared to. He had also let a lot of shit go, he'd raged about his father the entire second session which had shocked him more than Mr. Therapy Man. He'd paced and punched pillows and felt so fucking sorry for himself that he had felt like curling up like he had as a little boy. But Mr. Therapy Man had listened and asked him questions that simply put, cut out all of the bullshit.

What do I have in my life that makes me happy and does not involve my father or Brooke? He had basketball, but that his father written all over it. He had the gang, but Brooke was just as ingrained each of them. He had school but he ruled the place most effectively with his queen. He had his car but his father had purchased it. He sighed deeply as he parked the car behind Brooke's small VW buggie so he could leave for early morning practice without having to move her car first. He didn't quite know what to do with this new knowledge about his inner workings but he did know that his first and honest reply to Mr. Therapy Man's last question had been, "nothing."


	57. This New Life

Brooke walked into Rachel's house and was immediately caught into Mouth's arms as he swung her around in a waltz. Despite her sad mood after visiting with Haley and Lucas the day before, she found herself laughing out loud. She truly liked Mouth, he was funny, occasionally sarcastic, and deeply in love with Rachel.

"What has gotten you in this mood," Brooke finally asked.

Mouth dipped her and finally released her, "I have just found out that I have been given the job of commentator of Tree Hill's own Varsity basketball team."

Before Brooke could respond Rachel walked into the open living room and rolled her eyes, "and ever since he found out he's been dancing on the ceiling, literally."

Both girls watched Mouth grin and dance out of the room and up the stairs. Finally Rachel sat down on her couch, "I can't tell you. I said I wouldn't, so I won't."

"You have to. They're falling a part Rachel. They need to be honest and open with each other or they don't stand a chance," Brooke replied instantly.

"If I tell you then everything that happened before will happen again. You'll take all of the drama onto yourself because you honestly can't help it. And I don't mean to be a bitch but honey last night when I came over to Peyton and Jake's for their family dinner I noticed that Nathan wasn't himself."

Brooke's spine stiffened, "are you saying I should be focusing on my own relationship?"

"I'm saying there are a lot of forces at play and that I think that you'll get so caught up in saving everyone that you'll forget what you promised yourself to do, which is to slow down and really live your life."

"Rachel," Brooke sat down, "it will never be in my nature to sit around when the people I love are hurting. If it were then I wouldn't have been able to help you through your own crisis. If you can't tell me then I beg you to pay it forward and find a way to help Luke tell Haley before its too late."

Rachel stayed on the couch long after Brooke left. She'd been had, she had played right into Brooke's hands, "fuck." Then she grudgingly nodded her head at her own thoughts, "she's good."

XOXOXOXOXO

Nathan paced restlessly. He'd gone to practice, had studied their upcoming game opponents, had written a paper and had worked out some more. It wasn't his night to cook because his mother had came home and had started on her famous lasagna. There was something he needed to do he just couldn't think of what it was.

Ever since the last session with Mr. Therapy Man he'd been thinking and tossing around the facts in his life. He loved Brooke but he was worried that she'd realize that he wasn't whole on his own. He was worried that he'd never snap out of the funk that he had been in his entire life.

"Oh no, a pacing Nathan makes for a sad Brooke," he grinned toward the open door.

"Jake Jagielski, last I checked you were either burping my Goddaughter or breaking your bed. When did you decide to leave your sanctuary," Nathan asked as they grabbed either other's hands and pounded each other's back.

Jake grinned like he the best secret in the world, "Peyton and I decided that a few days off for recuperation were in order, you know how it is."

"Yeah," Nathan sat and couldn't help feeling just a smallest bit envious of Jake's optimistic perspective on life and love.

"So Brooke brought over a batch of Brookie cookies," Jake made a sour look because it common knowledge that Brooke couldn't bake to save her life, "and spent an hour talking to me and Peyton about nothing. I figured that all was not well."

"No, we're good. I mean we love each other more than ever but all of the therapy we've been acquiring seems to have us both down, especially with Luke and Haley's situation."

Jake made himself comfortable on the futon in the room, "Luke and Haley have a lot to sort out and they'll only be able to do that when both of them are open to it. You know that, just look at your own situation and mine."

"It doesn't make it easier. You know Brooke, she wants everyone to be healthy and happy all the time."

"Yeah, and that's her cross to bear, she has to learn how to accept when she's taken on too much and when it's time to let some of the weight go. Tell me about Mr. Therapy Man."

Nathan grinned, "he's not such an ass after all. He asked me what I have in my life that makes me happy that doesn't include Dan or Brooke."

"What did you say?"

"I told the truth. There's nothing I have that hasn't been gifted to me by the people in my life. I can't do anything to make myself happy."

Jake was quiet for a moment as he rubbed his facial hair, "I think there's something in everyone that gives them joy all on its own. I'm naturally optimistic, I feel like there's always a bright side. Haley sings, Luke writes, Peyton draws, Brooke designs."

"And I mooch off of everyone else," Nathan concluded.

"No, I think you protect. Not even Brooke can survive to help the rest of us without being able to sit down and think up the newest design. You thrive when we're all good and you know that you're there to put a shield between us and the world. Some people were born to be superheroes."

"But I can't protect you all," Nathan admitted. He certainly hadn't been able to save Brooke from losing her ability to get pregnant, or Haley from losing her baby.

"No, not always, but when shit goes bad you're the first one on the scene, ready to battle us all back into the good. I imagine it gets lonely being the Batman of our group."

More than you think, Nathan thought to himself. When there was a success he was the first to tell everyone that one of his had done the great deed. When there was a failure it weighed on his shoulders.

"You're the leader man. We're a pack of wolves and you lead us. Come hell or high water you don't let us drown in the bullshit that floods us on a daily basis. I think what makes you happy all on its own is your courage and your strength. Just think on it man."

XOXOXOXOXO

Lucas opened his front door and took a deep breath before stepping out and closing it behind him. He smiled at Rachel, "I'd invite you in but Haley's convinced we're sleeping together."

"I wouldn't want to be the one who gives you a heart attack," Rachel commented drily. She didn't waste much time on small talk, "have you told her yet?"

"No," Luke hissed and looked around, paranoid with the fear that others would find out.

"Well you'll have to tell her. She'll wonder why you're taking pills every day, she'll wonder why you nearly collapse after every practice."

Luke's eyes narrowed, "you aren't thinking of telling her, are you?"

"No, definitely not my job!"

"I don't want her hurt anymore. If she knew my fucked up heart was what killed out baby she'd never be able to be with me. She'd leave and I wouldn't blame her. I'm too selfish."

"Bullshit," Rachel disagreed, "I think you're afraid of losing basketball and I think that you don't how to function without being a part of that. I think that you're afraid she'll understand and that the abnormal heart thing will happen again when you two decide you're ready for kids. All natural fears I'm sure."

"Do me a favor, stop trying to analyze me. I get enough of it from Brooke. My baby had a fucked up heart because of me. Let me live with my guilt and get off my back."

"Here's the thing, I'm keeping your secret, and I'll be damned if I feel one tiny bit of guilt over this whole situation. If there was one thing I learned from my whole sordid experience with Dan it's that shit happens, you face it and you heal, you run from it and you become someone you don't recognize. Even Haley could tell you that. Speaking of which," Rachel stopped.

Lucas turned and saw Haley opening the door. She looked at Rachel, "what are you doing here?"

"I came to give you this and to tell you quite honestly, so there's no mistaking it, I never have slept with your husband."

Haley's mouth dropped open and she quietly accepted the small gift bag from Rachel. Inside was a small deep red stone, she looked at Rachel with a question in her eyes.

"It was from a small river in Italy. They said that the stones turned red because a turn of the 17th century Count killed a whole village turning the river red. But that whoever kept a stone would experience great joy and have many children. When Brooke called and told me you were pregnant I grabbed one before Mouth and I left."

Haley's eyes, so condemning before softened, "thank you Rachel."

"You're welcome," Rachel gave one more glance to Lucas before turning and leaving.

Before Lucas could say a word Haley looked at him and said, "if you can't be honest about what happened then I can't have you in my life anymore. Grab your stuff and go, Luke."

XOXOXOXOXO

Peyton held Jenny in her arms as the little girl nestled deep and settled in for a nap. Brooke was in front of her showing her, yet again, the steps to the dance she wanted Peyton to relay to the cheer squad.

"Brooke, I know I've said this a million times but if you're so interested in the squad winning the conference then you should probably just join the squad again."

"You know I can't," she did another move, "catch that? That's the important step!"

"Why can't you? The saw the way the school accepted you back at the beginning of the year. We want you back, we're floundering without you."

"I would give anything to be back in that position but I won't put myself on display. My wounds are healed, I'm going to live, but I can't see myself exposing it all every night."

Peyton sighed and patted the spot beside her on the couch, "Jake and I decided that he and Jenny will move in with me to give his family a break."

"Wow, that's great. I think it's wonderful who his family and Karen and Deb have stepped up to help him out."

"If I can face Nikki and my own demons everyday, then I know you're brave enough to do the same."

Brooke gently rubbed Jenny's chubby cheek, "I want one."

"I know," Peyton nodded her head.

"Give me time to think, Peyton. Give me time to figure this out and come to terms with everything. I'm coming closer to being truly happy again, I don't want to do anything to lose what I've gained."

"That I can do," Peyton smiled at her and then grinned, "if you agree to never make me eat another Brookie cookie."

Brooke laughed out loud before jumping up to show her more moves, "you're lucky I allow you to have the mouth watering experience of eating one of my superb Brookie cookies!"

"Mouth watering because you have to gather a lot of drool to try and make is soften," Peyton replied. Brooke grabbed a pillow and started toward her best friend. Peyton put one hand out to stop her, "baby on board, be careful!"

Her warning didn't stop Brooke from gently throwing soft toy ball at her head and laughing so hard she snorted afterward.

XOXOXOXOXO

Nathan slipped one hand around Brooke's waist from behind as left the bathroom together. He pulled her to his naked chest and dipped his face low so he could kiss her earlobe and whisper, "you're addicting Brooke Davis."

She smiled, water aerobics had always been her specialty, "you're pretty addicting yourself Nathan Scott."

They'd barely pulled clothes on when Nathan's door opened and a parade of cheerleaders walked in. Nathan grinned and sat up on the bed, "tell me this is not a dream!"

"Nathan," Brooke teased him with a mock serious tone. She looked around and finally Peyton walked in, "what's going on?"

Rachel grinned at her, "notice anything different about us B?"

Brooke looked them over, a confused look on her face, before she realized that instead of their midriff showing Ravens tops they were wearing dark blue, sleeveless underarmour to cover their bellies.

"I don't understand," she admitted.

Peyton handed her the same color underarmour and grinned, "if our captain wants to keep herself covered and play coy, instead of slutty the way the other teams will no doubt do, then we've decided we'll be classy too!"

"You guys," Brooke began.

"Nope, no excuses. Besides you could stand to lose some weight," Rachel told her.

Brooke grinned, knowing Rachel was full of it, all the running she was doing lately had made her more toned than usual. She looked down at the garment and found herself nodding, "yeah, I'll do it."

Everyone cheered and crowded around her to give a huge group huge and Brooke laughed out loud.

XOXOXOXOXO

Lucas took his time getting ready for bed, thankful that his mother was letting him take back his old room. It was silent but so familiar that it was a comfort he hadn't known he needed. He took his night pill and wondered vaguely if this was what Dan had felt like. Had he felt as if his world was being pulled from him? As if he had no control over anything? As if he was worthless?

He took a deep breath, checked his phone for the millionth time to see if Haley had called, and finally turned off the light to spend the rest of the night thinking of all he'd lost.


	58. Hold Fast, Hold Strong

Lucas' heart was racing. It was always racing. It seemed that no matter what he was doing nowadays it made him work up a sweat. He felt nauseous constantly and it embarrassed him to admit that his body was failing him. He was too young for everything to be fucking up. What was worse was that without the health insurance he had shared with Haley, he wasn't able to get his meds, and he sure as hell wasn't going to ask his mother for the money. He could ask Rachel, she could afford it and she already knew his deep secrets. But the thought of accepting anyone's hand out made his whole body clench in defiance.

"Whatcha thinking about," Peyton's voice made him look up from the book he hadn't been reading at his favorite table in the library.

"I'm thinking that a little over a year and a half ago I drove into Tree Hill in my Uncle Keith's old Desoto, walked into a family, and met my future ex-wife," Luke replied.

Peyton sat down heavily next to him, "look L. Scott, shit sucks right now. The good news is that even with all of our fucked up experiences none of us could think how shit could be worse in this situation. That's good news! Generally we dream about how it could be worse until it actually happens. So you see, things can only go up from here!"

"Peyton, I need to make this right," he was begging her to help him but he knew that without revealing how his bad genes had affected their baby Haley would never even listen to him.

She put her hand over his and with an insight he had only experienced with Brooke before smiled a sad smile, "you need to be honest. Lay it bare Luke, you can't stay in limbo forever. It'll only be a matter of time before you go numb, better to feel, better to know where you stand."

XOXOXO

Nathan spun Brooke around slowly until she was in his arms with his hands on her hips, gliding her movements. They were dancing. Sometimes, at the most random times, one of them would just begin a dance. It was as intimate as making love for them. Sometimes there was music, sometimes there was just the beats of their hearts. This time it was a sad John Mayer song that seemed to radiate loss. It had happened innocently enough. Brooke had turned on the radio as she had gotten out of the shower. Nathan had just woken up and as they had passed each other it had just clicked.

She laid her head on his chest, listening for his heart, making sure that he was still perfectly fine, in her arms, where she could try and protect him. He was thinking the same. These spontaneous moments had occurred more often since they had begun therapy. The need for words had lessened the longer they were together. They talked in therapy but seemed to have no necessary words for one another. They understood each other very well.

Brooke's hand caressed his chest before moving to his shoulders. He was strong, her man, so brave and carried the weight of the world on those very shoulders.

The words seemed to be exactly what Nathan was thinking. _Steady my breathing silently screaming, I have to have you now_. Was there a moment where he wasn't screaming or searching for Brooke because he just desperately needed to be in her presence?

"I love you," he lifted her chin and kissed her deeply, with a madness that could only come from almost losing her one too many times. Sometimes guys felt the need to keep their emotions in check, Nathan was no different. Somehow with Brooke it was all natural. If he felt like breaking everything in his path and having rough, wordless sex she was game. If he felt so overwhelmed by her that he couldn't stagger out one word without accompanying tears she was there and there was usually a slow loving with it.

She let herself fall into his eyes. She let herself open herself completely to him and everything he offered her on a silver platter. It was at these moments where she felt her losses most keenly. More than anything else she wanted Nathan Scott to be happy. She wasn't blind, nor did she consider herself stupid, Nathan hadn't been the happy guy he'd always been since the time he found out about Dan. He'd been on red alert, weary, and now after all the other bullshit, so tired.

"Nate, what's going on with you?"

In brief order he explained the conclusion he'd come to after the latest therapy session. He ended his explanation with a harsh sigh, "I just don't have anything without you. Like if God forbid something ever happened to Jake Peyton would be able to go on. It would be awful and she would grieve but one day she would pick herself up. She'd touch a pen and start to doodle on a piece of scrap paper. She'd dust off the old records. If something ever happened to you I wouldn't have anything left. Basketball sure, but that's covered in the emotional tanglements of Dan. I'm not really smart, I don't really have any natural talents. I'm just a lucky son of a bitch who managed to get the best girl."

Brooke took a deep breath, kissed him and then told him quite honestly, "bullshit."

"Excuse me," he hadn't expected that reaction.

"If you can't see your inate ability to listen and give your strength to others as a natural ability then you're blind baby. You are my knight in shining armor. You are my Superman. You are my backbone. You held Haley's hand after they took the baby. You nursed me back to health physically and mentally. When Peyton thought Jake had cheated you wouldn't let any of us near her so you could better protect her. What is that if not a gift?"

XOXOXO

Haley took a deep breath and looked at Nathan's and Jake's expectant faces. She didn't want to move but judging by the looks on their faces if she didn't get up they were going to carry her.

She tried one more pout, hoping for a bit more sympathy, but they stood rigid, albeit loving, in their stance, "fine."

Nathan grinned down at her, "good girl, Haley Bop James-Scott!"

"Oh jesus, I never thought of my full name together like that before," she rose and allowed Jake to push her into her closet. She'd been ordered to put on a pair of converse, jeans, and a sweater to wear to the annual boat burning down at the docks.

"I'd like to remind you that I'm going out of duress," she told them as she stripped.

They stood with their backs to her, it made her think of them as her personal bodyguards. And they did protect her. She smiled a genuine smile as she thought of how they would give their own lives for her just because they were that loyal.

"I love you guys," she told them as she pulled her sweater down.

Jake and Nathan looked at one another then back at her. Nathan nodded toward Jake and he pulled her into his arms. Haley burst out laughing, "I didn't say that as a prelude to a teary meltdown!"

Jake sighed and looked at Nate over Haley's blonde head, "thank God! It's still your turn next time!"

"No," Nathan protested.

"Let's go before I change my mind you Neanderthals!"

XOXOXO

"Explain to me why I'm here," Luke asked Brooke and Rachel as he stared at the "ship" that was to be burned. It looked more like a decorated crew boat.

"Because it's a tradition! You came to Tree Hill too late last year to experience it and since you're here this year obviously you're here!"

Luke rolled his eyes at Brooke, "fine. Where is everyone else?"

"Probably in line to throw their wishes or regrets onto the boat," Rachel replied as she motioned toward the line to the docks.

"Regrets?"

"The tradition is says that the ship burned with fifty men, half were ardent and loving husbands to their wives full of regret that they had to leave their families too soon. The other half were rakes, full of wishes to survive so they make break more hearts and have one more day of their loveless pleasure. So the people of the town throw a piece of paper with either a wish or regret, only one per person you understand, every year."

"What's that supposed to accomplish," Luke asked.

Brooke smiled, "it's supposed to cancel out the regret, erase it or make the situation better, or grant the wish."

"I'm thinking that you don't have much to lose," Rachel told Luke drily when he looked as if he'd protest.

"You know what," Luke felt nauseous again, "you're right. It sure couldn't hurt."

XOXOXO

"What's he doing here," Haley felt something curious in her chest. It had been some weeks since she'd kicked out. Since then he'd tried numerous times to talk to her but she wouldn't allow it. She wanted the truth. Whatever he was hiding from her, and she was certain he was hiding something.

"He's burning a regret or making a wish," Nathan looked her in the eyes and the emotion she could see almost took her breath away, "just like the rest of us."

She nodded because if she spoke, if she voiced Nathan's partially healed pains, if she thought about all of their issues, she would crumble. They all deserved a chance to change or make a wish, even Luke, she couldn't take that from him anymore than she could Nathan.

"Haley," she turned at the familiar voice and was surprised to see Karen.

"Hi," she smiled, she knew it was feeble.

"I'm so happy to see you looking so good and out here participating with the town," Karen wrapped her hands around Haley's, "I miss you at the café. I miss my daughter-in-law. Please don't be a stranger any longer, come in for coffee sometime."

Haley nodded and as Karen let her go and prepared to walk away she finally found her voice, "he's not telling me, whatever it is could save us, instead he's letting it break us!"

Karen nodded, she knew that Haley was right. Something had been very wrong with her son lately. At first Karen had thought it was the baby but she had also been having a growing suspicion that Luke was in horrible pain and worse, horrible danger.


End file.
